_Question._ What is cash?
_Answer._ Cash may be described as comfort in the concrete.
_Q._ Is it not sometimes called "the root of all evil"?
_A._ Yes, by those who do not possess it.
_Q._ Is it possible to live without cash?
_A._ Certainly--upon credit.
_Q._ Can you tell me what is credit?
_A._ Credit is the motive power which induces persons who have cash, to
part with some of it to those who have it not.
_Q._ Can you give me an instance of credit?
_A._ Certainly. A young man who is able to live at the rate of a
thousand a-year, with an income not exceeding nothing a month, is a case
of credit.
_Q._ Would it be right to describe such a transaction as "much to his
credit"?
_A._ It would be more precise to say, "much by his credit"; although
the former phrase would be accepted by a large class of the community as
absolutely accurate.
_Q._ What is bimetallism?
_A._ Bimetallism is a subject that is frequently discussed by amateur
financiers, after a good dinner, on the near approach of the coffee.
_Q._ Can you give me your impression of the theory of bimetallism?
_A._ My impression of bimetallism is the advisability of obtaining
silver, if you cannot get gold.
_Q._ What is the best way of securing gold?
_A._ The safest way is to borrow it.
_Q._ Can money be obtained in any other way?
_A._ In the olden time it was gathered on Hounslow Heath and other
deserted spots, by mounted horsemen wearing masks and carrying pistols.
_Q._ What is the modern way of securing funds, on the same principles,
but with smaller risk?
_A._ By promoting companies and other expedients known to the members of
the Stock Exchange.
* * * * *
A GOOD FIGURE-HEAD.--An arithmetician's.
* * * * *
[Illustration: AN EMPTY EMBRACE.--"'Ere y'are! Humberella rings, two a
penny!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Conductor_ (_on "Elephant and Castle" route_). "Fares,
please!"
_Fare._ "Two elephants!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: ONE OF "LIFE'S LITTLE IRONIES"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: OVERHEARD OUTSIDE A FAMOUS RESTAURANT
"Hullo, Gus! What are you waiting about here for?"
"I'm waiting till the banks close. I want to cash a cheque!"]
* * * * *
"UNSATISFACTORY COMMERCIAL RELATIONS."--Our "uncles."
* * * * *
COUNTRY SHAREHOLDERS.--Ploughmen.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Working Man, sitting on the steps of a big house in,
say, Russell Square, smoking pipe. A mate passes by with plumbing tools,
&c._
_Man with tools._ "Hullo, Jim! Wot are yer doin' 'ere? Caretakin'?"
_Man on steps._ "No. I'm the howner, 'ere."
_Man with tools._ "'Ow's that?"
_Man on steps._ "Why, I did a bit o' plumbing in the 'ouse, an' I took
the place in part payment for the job."]
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE GLORIOUS FIFTH
_Benevolent Lady_ (_fond of the good old customs_). "Here, my boy, is
something for your guy."
_Conscientious Youth._ "We ain't got no guy, mum; this 'ere's
grandfather!"]
* * * * *
A "YOUNG SHAVER."--A barber's baby.
* * * * *
JOINT ACCOUNT.--A butcher's bill.
* * * * *
[Illustration: AFTER "THE SLUMP" IN THE CITY.--_Weak Speculator in South
African market_ (_about to pay the barber who has been shaving him_). "A
shilling! eh? Why, your charge used to be only sixpence." _City Barber._
"Yes, sir; _but you've got such a long face_, we're obliged to increase
the price!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: "I don't arst yer fer money. I don't _want_ money. Wot I
wants is bread. _'Ave_ yer got such a thing as a bit o' bread about yer,
me lord?"]
* * * * *