He's the readiest customer living,
While you're lending, or spending or giving;
But when you'd make profit, or get back your own,
He's the awkwardest customer ever you've known.
* * * * *
FAVOURITE SONG ON THE STOCK EXCHANGE.--"_Oh! what a difference in the
morning!_"
* * * * *
THE REAL "BITTER" CRY OF LONDON.--The demand for Bass and Allsopp.
* * * * *
CABBY calls the new auto-cars his motormentors.
* * * * *
[Illustration: THOROUGH!--_Hairdresser_ (_to perspiring Customer during
the late hot weather_). "'Hair cut, sir?"
_Stout Party_ (_falling into the chair, exhausted_). "Ye----"
_Hairdresser._ "Much off, sir?"
_Stout Party._ "(_Phew!_) Cut it to the bone!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: DIVERTING THE TRAFFIC!]
THE THING TO THROW LIGHT ON SPIRITUALISTIC SEANCES.--A spirit-lamp.
* * * * *
THE RULING PASSION.--A great financial reformer is so devoted to figures
that when he has nothing else to do he casts up his eyes.
* * * * *
BUBBLE CONCERNS.--Aerated water companies.
* * * * *