_Excited Stockbroker._--By Jove! it's serious now.
_Other dittos._ Hey? what?
_Excited Stockbroker._ Rothschild's "gone"--
_Clients_ (_new to City, thunderstruck_). _Gone!_ Rothschild!!--but--
_Excited Stockbroker._ Yes. _Gone to Paris._
_Exit._
* * * * *
WHAT TO EXPECT AT AN HOTEL.--Inn-attention.
* * * * *
A QUESTION FOR LLOYD'S.--Are sub-editors underwriters?
* * * * *
INCIDENTS OF TAXATION.--Collectors and summonses.
* * * * *
WHAT A CITY COMPANY DOES.--It may not be generally known that the duty
of the Spectacle-makers is to get up the Lord Mayor's Show. Glasses
round, and then they proceed to business.
* * * * *
IMPOSSIBLE PHRASE.--The happy rich, the happy poor, both quite possible.
But, "the happy mean"--oh no--impossible.
* * * * *
SONG FOR THE TOWN-TIED SPORTSMAN.--"How happy could I be with
_heather_!"
* * * * *
[Illustration: PROGRESS.--(_Overheard in Kensington._ Time, 9 A.M.).--_Fair
Club Member_ (_lately married, to friend_). "Bye, bye!
Can't stop! Must rush off, or I shall be _scratched for the billiard
handicap_!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Policeman_ (_to slightly sober individual, who is
wobbling about in the road amongst the traffic_). "Come, old man, walk
on the pavement."
_Slightly Sober Individual._ "_Pavement!_ Who do you take me for?
_Blondin?_"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: SKETCHED IN OXFORD STREET]
* * * * *
INSCRIPTION TO BE PLACED OVER THE STOCK EXCHANGE.--"_Bear_ and
for-_bear_."
* * * * *
THE PRICE OF BREAD.--Twists have taken a turn; and cottages have come
down in some places, owing to the falls of bricks, which continue to
give way rapidly. A baker near one of the bridges has not had a roll
over, which is to be accounted for by his having come down in regular
steps to a level with the lower class of consumers. Plaster of Paris is
in some demand, and there have been some mysterious transactions in
sawdust by the baker who liberally deals with the workhouse.
* * * * *
[Illustration: SYMPHONY IN BLACK. The vassal who does soot and service.]
* * * * *
OFFICIAL ORDER.--All cabmen plying within hail are to be supplied with
umbrellas by Government.
* * * * *
[Illustration: HE DIDN'T MEAN TO LOSE THAT
"Miffins, the book-keeper, tells me that you have lost the key of the
safe, and he cannot get at the books."
"Yes, sir, one of them. You gave me two, you remember."
"Yes; I had duplicates made in case of accident. And the other?"
"Oh, sir, I took care of that. I was afraid I might lose one of them,
you know."
"And is the other all right?"
"Yes, sir. I put it where there was no danger of it being lost. It is in
the safe, sir!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: IN A NOVEMBER FOG
_Frenchman_ (_just arrived on his first visit to London_). "Ha, ha! my
frien', now I understan' vot you mean ven you say ze sun nevaire set in
your dominion, ma foi! _It does not rise!_"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: "NEVER TOO LATE TO MEND"
_Thirsty Soul_ (_after several gyrations round the letter-box_). "I
sh'like t'know wha'-sh-'e good 'f gen'lem'n-sh turn'n tea-tot'ller 'f
gov'm'nt (_hic_) goes-h an' cut-sh th' shpouts-h o' th' _bumpsh_ off!"]
* * * * *