“The Young Reform.--This was a full-rigged ship, in great part
constructed on the lines of the barque lost in 1854. She sailed on the
28th February 1859, commanded by Captain Dizzy. No insurance could be
effected upon her on any terms, as the crew were chiefly apprentices,
and a very mutinous spirit aboard. She put back, completely crippled,
after three days’ stormy weather; and though the commander averred that
some enemies of his owners had laid down false buoys in the channel, he
was not listened to by the Commissioners, who withheld his certificate.
Has never been employed since, and his case by many considered a very
hard one.”
Of course, all the small class of coasting vessels--railroad bills and
suchlike--suffer great losses. They are usually ill-found and badly
manned; but now and then we come upon curious escapes, where a measure
slips through unobserved, like a blockade-runner; and it is ten to one
in such cases they have that crafty old pilot Pam on board, who has been
more than fifty years at sea, and is as wide awake now as on his first
day.
What analogies press in on every hand! Look at the way each party bids
for and buys up the old materials of the other, fancying they have some
“lines” of their own that will turn out a clipper to beat everything.
And think of those “Sailors’ Homes,” where old salts chew their quids at
ease--those snug permanent Under-Secretaryships, those pleasant asylums
in the Treasury or the Mint! Picture to your mind the dark den in
Downing Street, where the Whipper-in confers in secret, and have you not
at once before you the shipping-office, and the crimp, and the “ordinary
seaman” higgling for an extra ten shillings of wages, or begging
that his grog may not be watered? And, last of all, see the old
lighthouse-keepers, the veteran First Clerks who serve every
Administration, and keep their lamps bright for all parties--a fine set
of fellows in their way, though some people will tell you that they have
their favourites too, and are not so brisk about the fog-signals if they
don’t like the skipper.
I think I have done enough to show that such a work as I speak of would
redound to public benefit; and I only ask, if my suggestion be approved
of, that I may be remembered as the inventor, and not treated as
Admiralty Lords do the constructors of new targets, testing the metal
and torturing the man. Bear in mind, therefore, if the political ‘Wreck
Register’ be ever carried into execution, its device must be “O’Dowdius
fecit.”
It might not be amiss, in the spirit that has suggested this
improvement, to organise in connection with the proceedings of the House
a code of signals on the plan of Admiral Fitzroy’s storm-signals, and
which, from the great tower, or some similar eminence, might acquaint
members what necessity for their presence existed. Fancy, for instance,
the relief an honourable gentleman would experience on seeing the
fine-weather flag up, and knowing thereby that something of no moment
was being discussed--a local railroad, a bill to enable some one to
marry his grandmother, or a measure for Ireland! Imagine the fog-signal
flying, and see how instantaneously it would he apprehended that D. G.
was asking the noble Lord at the head of the Government a question so
intensely absurd as to show a state of obscurity in his own faculties,
in comparison to which fog is a thin atmosphere! Or mark what excitement
would be felt as the storm-drum was hoisted, telling how the Government
craft was being buffeted and knocked about, and the lifeboat of the
Opposition manned to take charge of the ship if abandoned! What a mercy
to those poor, hard-worked, harassed, and wearied “whips”! what a
saving there would be in club-frequenting and in cab-hire! Now would the
lounger, as he strolled along Pall-Mall, say, “No need to hurry.”
“light airs of wind from the east” means a member for Galway and some
balderdash about the Greeks. “Thick weather in the Channel” implies
troubles in Ireland--nothing very new or interesting. “Dirty weather
to the east’ard” would show mischief in the Danubian provinces, and a
general sense of unquiet in the regions of the Sultan Redcliffe. These
are hints which I have not patented, and the chances are that “My Lords”
will speedily adopt them, and call them their own.