THE ADJOURNED DEBATE
The fatal invitation to Mr. Sponge having been sent, the question that now
occupied the minds of the assembled sharpers at Nonsuch House, was, whether
he was a pigeon or one of themselves. That point occupied their very deep
and serious consideration. If he was a 'pigeon,' they could clearly
accommodate him, but if, on the other hand, he was one of themselves, it
was painfully apparent that there were far too many of them there already.
Of course, the subject was not discussed in full and open conclave--they
were all highly honourable men in the gross--and it was only in the small
and secret groups of those accustomed to hunt together and unburden their
minds, that the real truth was elicited.
'What an ass Sir Harry is, to ask this Mr. Sponge,' observed Captain Quod
to Captain Seedeybuck, as (cigar in mouth) they paced backwards and
forwards under the flagged veranda on the west side of the house, on the
morning that Sir Harry had announced his intention of asking him.
'Confounded ass,' assented Seedeybuck, from between the whiffs of his
cigar.
'Dash it! one would think he had more money than he knew what to do with,'
observed the first speaker, 'instead of not knowing where to lay hands on a
halfpenny.'
'Soon be who-hoop,' here observed Quod, with a shake of the head.
'Fear so,' replied Seedeybuck. 'Have you heard anything fresh?'
'Nothing particular. The County Court bailiff was here with some summonses,
which, of course, he put in the fire.'
'Ah! that's what he always does. He got tired of papering the smoking-room
with them,' replied Seedeybuck.
'Well, it's a pity,' observed Quod, spitting as he spoke; 'but what can you
expect, eaten up as he is by such a set of rubbish.'
'Shockin',' replied Seedeybuck, thinking how long he and his friend might
have fattened there together.
'Do you know anything of this Mr. Sponge?' asked Captain Quod, after a
pause.
'Nothin',' replied Seedeybuck, 'except what we saw of him here; but I'm
sure he won't do.'
'Well, I think not either,' replied Quod; 'I didn't like his looks--he
seems quite one of the free-and-easy sort.'
'Quite,' observed Seedeybuck, determined to make a set against him, instead
of cultivating his acquaintance.
'This Mr. Sponge won't be any great addition to our party, I think,'
muttered Captain Bouncey to Captain Cutitfat, as they stood within the bay
of the library window, in apparent contemplation of the cows, but in
reality conning the Sponge matter over in their minds.
'I think not,' replied Captain Cutitfat, with an emphasis.
'Wonder what made Sir Harry ask him!' whispered Bouncey, adding, aloud, for
the bystanders to hear, 'That's a fine cow, isn't it?'
'Very,' replied Cutitfat, in the same key, adding, in a whisper, with a
shrug of his shoulders, 'Wonder what made him ask half the people that are
here!'
'The black and white one isn't a bad un,' observed Bouncey, nodding his
head towards the cows, adding in an undertone, 'Most of them asked
themselves, I should think.'
'Admiring the cows. Captain Bouncey?' asked the beautiful and tolerably
virtuous Miss Glitters, of the Astley's Royal Amphitheatre, who had come
down to spend a few days with her old friend, Lady Scattercash. 'Admiring
the cows, Captain Bouncey?' asked she, sidling her elegant figure between
our friends in the bay.
'We were just saying how nice it would be to have two or three pretty
girls, and a sillabub, under those cedars,' replied Captain Bouncey.
'Oh, charming!' exclaimed Miss Glitters, her dark eyes sparkling as she
spoke. 'Harriet!' exclaimed she, addressing herself to a young lady, who
called herself Howard, but whose real name was Brown--Jane
Brown--'Harriet!' exclaimed she, 'Captain Bouncey is going to give a _fete
champetre_ under those lovely cedars.'
'Oh, how nice!' exclaimed Harriet, clapping her hands in
ecstasies--theatrical ecstasies at least.
'It must be Sir Harry,' replied the billiard-table man, not fancying being
'let in' for anything.
'Oh! Sir Harry will let us have anything we like, I'm sure,' rejoined Miss
Glitters.
'What is it (hiccup)?' asked Sir Harry, who, hearing his name, now joined
the party.
'Oh, we want you to give us a dance under those charming cedars,' replied
the lady, looking lovingly at him.
'Cedars!' hiccuped Sir Harry, 'where do you see any cedars?'
'Why there,' replied Miss Glitters, nodding towards a clump of evergreens.
'Those are (hiccup) hollies,' replied Sir Harry.
[Illustration]
'Well, under the hollies,' rejoined Miss Glitters; adding, 'it was Captain
Bouncey who said they were cedars.'
'Ah, I meant those beyond,' observed the captain, nodding in another
direction.
'Those are (hiccup) Scotch firs,' rejoined Sir Harry.
'Well, never mind what they are,' resumed the lady; 'let us have a dance
under them.'
'Certainly,' replied Sir Harry, who was always ready for anything. 'We
shall have plenty of partners,' observed Miss Howard, recollecting how many
men there were in the house.
'And another coming,' observed Captain Cutitfat, still fretting at the
idea.
'Indeed!' exclaimed Miss Howard, raising her hands and eyebrows in delight;
'and who is he?' asked she, with unfeigned glee.
'Oh such a (hiccup) swell,' replied Sir Harry; 'reg'lar Leicestershire man.
A (hiccup) Quornite, in fact.'
'We'll not have the dance till he comes, then,' observed Miss Glitters.
'No more we will,' said Miss Howard, withdrawing from the group.