CHAPTER VI.

“THE MITCHELLS.”

During the time I was waiting for another engagement I wandered to a

large Western city, and took board in a respectable private family.

There were three unmarried daughters in this household, the youngest of

whom could not, I think, have been less than twenty-six years old.

Notwithstanding the disparity of our ages, my memory is very much at

fault if I was not in love with all three of these ladies at once.

Nothing else, at least, could account to me now for the regularity with

which I conducted this mature trio to theatres and concerts. From their

readiness to go four and five evenings a week, I am also led to conclude

that they individually and collectively encouraged my suit.

What names these three weird sisters bore, and how they looked, are

matters which have long since escaped me; but the alacrity with which

they would go to ice-cream saloons in the afternoon, or to places of

amusement in the evening, at my expense, made such an impression on my

purse at the time that I have not forgotten it, as you see, to this day.

I know not in what this state of affairs would have ended, had it not

been for a professional engagement tendered me in the midst of my

prodigality. Before leaving that city, I have a faint remembrance of

having formed one of a band of two or three who undertook to furnish the

amusement for a “Grand Gift Enterprise.”

Finally I found myself, after some minor adventures, at Cincinnati,

where the once notorious Mike Mitchell left the Campbell’s Minstrels and

took me with him into a company which he organized there, under the

title of “The Mitchells.” We played some time at the largest hall in

Cincinnati, boarding the while at the Gibson House.

At this hotel I became acquainted with a chubby, handsome boy, about as

tall as I was, who excited my admiration in an extraordinary manner. He

would go to the theatre or some place of amusement every evening, and

nevertheless get up at four or five o’clock every morning. I burned

with a desire to wrestle with that boy.

This occurred to me as the only way to gratify my curiosity and

establish a droll theory I had that any lad who could do with so little

sleep must be a young giant. At last I inveigled him into my room, and

the greater part of my remaining days in Cincinnati were spent in that

cheerful and invigorating style of contest, to the no little damage of

the furniture and our clothes, and of the nerves of a rheumatic old

bachelor who occupied the apartment just under us.

There could have been nothing of the giant in the boy, after all, since

we were so evenly matched. And, somehow, my belief in his wonderful

sleeplessness was sadly dissipated. Whether he subsequently told me

himself, or I found out by personal observation, I have forgotten; but I

learned at last to account for his power of early rising in a way only

less remarkable than the physical endurance of which I had thought him

capable.

This young gentleman, it seems, was in the habit of going to sleep in

his seat at the theatre, just after the overture by the orchestra. What

struck me as particularly astonishing was that he always had the

faculty of waking up when the dancing and comic songs came in, and

especially when the broadsword and other combats took place. A tragedian

never died to slow music in his presence but the young gentleman’s

critical eye, refreshed and sharpened by recent repose, was upon him.

In a word, whatsoever the act or scene in which it occurred, my young

friend was always “in at the death.” And he seemed to know by instinct,

without consulting a ponderous gold watch which he carried, when it was

time for the play to end.

Thus, it will be seen, he went away from the theatre with his night’s

rest already half complete, and was able to arise at four or five the

next morning and deliver to any chance comer throughout the day a

reliable opinion on the best points made the evening previous by Jamison

or Murdoch--the actors of those times--in the great scene wherein

Macduff “lays on”; or this young gentleman could tell you, perhaps, the

number of times the blades struck fire in the mighty broadsword battle,

sustained single-handed against fearful odds, by Mrs. Wilkinson in the

“French Spy.”

In the course of time our company started on its travels through the

neighboring States, and when we returned to Cincinnati, my young friend

and fellow-wrestler was gone; moved away with his parents from the

hotel, I was told, and to another city.

Now what has made this reminiscence especially interesting, at least to

me, was my next meeting with the subject of it, years and years

afterward; because that was one of the strange occurrences which are,

after all, about as frequent in an adventurous life as they are in

fiction.

At a little inn in the shadow of the Odenwald, not far from the Rhine, I

had the pleasure of taking him the next time by the hand. We have since

passed many a day together on the Iser and Seine and Tiber, and we have

slept many a night in the most uninviting of _auberges_ and

_Gasthäuser_; and not there, I am proud to say or in his hospitable

mansion on Michigan Avenue, or, late at night, in the office of the

great newspaper which he helps to edit, have I ever, in his generous

manhood, discovered any sleeping on his post, or sleeplessness off from

it.

There were in “The Mitchells” more discordant elements than I recollect

to have known in any other troupe in the fortunes of which I ever had a

part. I think there were too many leading comedians and musical stars

among us for anything so sober and dull as a good understanding to exist

at all times.

Some one, you know, must play second parts and second violin; and that

necessity was a smothered volcano in our midst. Stale jokes, unuttered,

sit heavily on your comedian’s memory; they must be refreshed or renewed

by the laughter of an audience; and eclipsed musical brilliancy, when

turned in upon itself, illumines a very disagreeable void, and generally

results in heart-burnings.

I have a lingering impression that I myself, in this company, sighed

regretfully for my old place as tambourinist and end-man. There were

three other tambourinists and end-men who, like myself, had been

professionally cut short in a comic career, to make way for a person

whose jokes, in our opinion, were not half so good as ours, and for

whose acrobatics with the complicated tambourine itself we were united,

as three men and one boy, in our sublime contempt.

We had as musical director a very young Italian, who had led the

orchestra of the Grand Opera at Havana, and he managed to lead our

musicians into the most unconscionable difficulties and

misunderstandings. I cannot conceive how in the world he did it, but he

had them continually by the ears.

At one rehearsal there was such a jealous _mêlée_ that a veteran

violinist, an irascible old German, was forced to leave his wig behind

him on the stage and retreat precipitately, with no more hair on his

head than there is on a hairdressers block. Indeed, as his smooth

occiput disappeared through the dressing-room door, it resembled nothing

so much as a back view of one of those familiar ornaments of a

wig-maker’s window.

The business manager of this company was a character that has puzzled me

a great deal,--a human riddle that I solve a new way every time I

attempt it. The last solution, too, is always sure to be just contrary

to the one immediately preceding.

The name of this moustached Sphinx was “Governor” Dorr, or that, at

least, was the name he went under. How he got, or what right he had to,

either his title or surname I do not know. He had gambled for thousands

in California, and been an adventurer in every land. He knew

Shakespeare, seemingly, by heart. His common conversation was full of

the turgid phrase and movement of melodrama. His presence anywhere was a

constant sensation.

There was a strange mixture of treachery and generous good-fellowship in

the expression of his face. When younger, before a long course of

dissipation had left its marks upon him, he must have been very

handsome. He was yet tall and tolerably erect, and the excessive measure

of the liquor he had consumed showed itself, not so much in his face as

in that peculiar bend to the knees, when walking, which the acute

observer will always find the surest test of the confirmed Bacchanalian.

There is a kind of life that never gets into books,--a species of

villany that floats ethereally just above the atmosphere of the courts.

The newspaper reporter does not quite grasp it, and so it remains

without its literature. Of a quarter-century or more of this

indescribable sort of life Governor Dorr had skimmed the cream, as I

may say.

All that was worldly he knew, from the infinitesimal series of negative

physical pleasures to the most abstruse calculus of positive crime. The

idea of a virtuous home, of children, and of scenes that are so common

in every-day life was to him, I am sure, a memory of remote years. He

saw all these things from the outside, and lived, even in his most

lavish prosperity, in the very worst of homelessness. Yet I have seen

him manifest simplicity as honest as a child’s, and a tenderness in

which there could be no counterfeit.

I think I have never known a man on whom a striking scene in nature had

so powerful an effect. He would look upon a beautiful or wild landscape

for hours at a time. There could have been no affectation in this, for

he rarely expressed his admiration audibly; and when he did, it was in

some brief exclamation that was forcible or original.

I shall always remember the evening when we sat upon the quarter-deck of

a steamboat at a backwoods landing, on one of the great Western rivers,

where for some reason we were detained. We were sitting alone, I think.

It was nearly midnight, and there was scarcely a cloud in the heavens or

a ripple in the water. The moon was shining grandly, duplicating in

shadow the thick forests for miles along the stream. The Governor had

been looking in silence at the magnificent scene for as much as a

half-hour when I took occasion to remark that I thought I would go to my

state-room.

The words were scarcely uttered when he startled me by jumping suddenly

to his feet and exclaiming, his voice all a-quiver: “Great God! a man

does not see three such nights as this in a lifetime; how can you--how

can they sleep? I shall not go to bed till the moon does!”

And as I left him, he sat down again with the determined yet injured

look of one who had been insulted through nature.

The Governor liked to pass for a great literary character, and I believe

he succeeded in his ambition among his peculiar associates. By a lucky

chance I have found, between the leaves of an old diary which I kept

spasmodically at that time, a specimen of his production. It is an

elaborate “Life of Michael Mitchell, the Comedian and Dancer.” I cut it

out of a Cincinnati paper,--the Commercial, if I am not mistaken; and I

am not sure that I did not once admire it almost as much as did the

Governor himself.

I see now, by the light of greater technical knowledge in such matters,

that this rare bit of biography was printed bodily as an advertisement.

It has, after the manner of special patent-medicine notices,

“Communicated” just over it, in brackets. I observe, too, that it has at

the left-hand bottom corner these cabalistic signs: “d1t.” I am glad,

nevertheless, to be able to give an extract or so.

The opening sentence has, as will be seen, a striking though inadvertent

allusion to one of the games with which the old gambler was doubtless

much more familiar than he could have been with the hazardous Latin.

“The subject of this sketch,” writes the biographer, “was born in

Ireland, on the 20th of November, Anno Domino 1831.”

A more extended extract, taken at random,--say from his account of

Mitchell’s first triumph,--will be all that is needed as a specimen of

the Governor’s average literary manner. It is better still, however, as

an autobiographical reminiscence of the biographer himself, or, perhaps

I should say, as a photograph of his own picturesque mind. You will

observe how his style reeks of the drama and yellow-covered memories.

That was the exact manner of his ordinary conversation.

It cannot be that he has weathered the years which have intervened since

he made this contribution to literature; but it will always have this

peculiarity for me, that I shall never read it without seeing the old

adventurer, living and swaggering before me, the same insolvable riddle

in human nature. Here is the paragraph:--

* * * * *

“We next find Mike in the difficult situation of vocalist and

bone-player; he becomes a troubadour the 10th of March, 1842, a day

sacred to men of genius (for on that day Tyrone Power, that excellent

wit and comedian, left the shores of this country on the ill-fated

President, never to return). On that identical day there was bustle and

excitement in the castle of the Mitchells, No. 222 Greenwich Street, New

York City. Young Michael was to be caparisoned and enter the lists

‘armed cap-a-pie,’ as a knight or troubadour of olden time (_vide_

James). The eventful eve of that eventful day arrived precisely at

nightfall, at the moment that ‘Old Trinity’ proclaimed with brazen notes

the hour of 7 P.M. There issued from the outer gate of the Mitchells’

guarded palace a youth armed with four bones. The night looked lowering

as dark Fate itself, no portents were in the sky, no Corsican Brothers

illusions; but something made our hero tremble,--it was the uncertainty

of the future. Sustaining himself with a glass of root-beer, he made his

way through the obscurity of the gas-light to a dilapidated house, No.

450 Broadway, gave the countersign or word of the night (Daniel Tucker,

Esq.), the door flew open at the magical sound, and Michael entered. At

first sight of the interior of that magnificent arena our hero’s cheek

slightly paled, and well it might. ‘The Chamber of Horrors of Madame

Tassarend’ could not move the redoubtable Michael now, for he has grown

bold in his profession. But on that night, armed only with youth and

‘bones,’ surrounded by a live rattlesnake, a six-legged horse, three

ladies in wax, the counterpart of three of flesh that had ‘shuffled off

this mortal coil’ by the hands of midnight murders [_sic_],--six little

orphan boys armed all with bones, and looking precious hungry, and

seated on six little chairs, a seventh chair vacant for Mike himself,

like that of Banquo’s,--six junk-bottles with six tallow-candles

therein, throwing their furtive, flickering, melancholy light upon these

cadaverous and superannuated ‘Tarmon’ musicians, playing upon bass-drum,

cracked fife, and hurdy-gurdy. No wonder that poor Mike’s blood rushed

to his heart, and that he trembled in his boots; the sight would have

intimidated stronger and older artists. The trio commenced their

overture,--the music, that beautiful air, ‘The Light of Other Days’

(poor fellows! the light of their days had surely faded,--they were

blind), and as they proceeded with their soul-stirring drum and

ear-piercing fife, Mike recovered his self-possession. The martial music

over, and the Germans having retired to the shades of a lager-beer

saloon, Michael’s turn came next. Taking the vacant chair and seating

himself thereon, he drew his American castanets (the younger brother of

the banjo) from his pocket (he had but one at that time), and threw

himself in an attitude to _sustain_ himself for the coming fray; it came

at last,--the rattle, the crash of seven juvenile bone-players in the

difficult overture to the opera of Daniel Tucker. It was awful,--it

ended, and the applause shook the old tenement to its foundation.”

* * * * *

Of Mitchell himself I can recollect little more than that he was a

jovial, easy sort of fellow personally, and that he was, as his scenic

biographer would have said, “a first-rate Ethiopian artist.” Scandal had

it that this same biographer, who was, it must be remembered, his

business manager and partner, did risk the earnings of Mr. Mitchell’s

minstrels in hazardous back-rooms, and thus precipitated a catastrophe

which the want of harmony among the members would sooner or later have

brought upon the troupe.

In the absence of positive knowledge on the subject, I would not like to

say how true or false this rumor was. This much only I will vouch for:

we were advertised to perform in some city of Southern Ohio, and, going

down to the depot with our big and little boxes, green-baize bags and

fiddle-cases, we were startled with the announcement that there was no

money in the treasury to pay our way out of Cincinnati.

I remember that the veteran German violinist, scratching his

wig,--which I need hardly say he had lived to recover,--and squeezing

his violin under his arm, remarked, when he heard this piece of news,

“Well, den de gombany ish bust!”

And, in point of fact, that veteran violinist was right.

* * * * *

I was afterward one of the volunteers at the grand complimentary benefit

given to Mitchell at Cincinnati, with the proceeds of which he was sent

out to California to join his friends Birch and Backus.

Mitchell, poor fellow, like Lynch and Sliter and so many of my old

associates in the cork-opera, has passed away, let us hope to a quieter

stage, beyond the double-dealing of managers and the contumely of

publicans.

An old showman is, in truth, a being _sui generis_. You rarely meet one

who will not tell you he has been twenty-two years in the show business.

He always talks in hyperbole, uses adjectives for adverbs, and arranges

all the minor incidents of his life, as well as his conversation, in the

most dramatic forms. He is often a better friend to others than to

himself; he is not naturally worse than the majority of men, but has

more temptation. A good negro-minstrel would, in any other profession,

be an Admirable Crichton in respect to morals.

While acknowledging with pride that I met in this calling some who

deserved even such praise, it is due to the truth to state also that I

have known many and many a poor fellow who was, in the language of

Addison,--

“Reduced, like Hannibal, to seek relief

From court to court, and wander up and down,

A vagabond in Afric.

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