The Bad Boy and His Pa Inject a Little Politics Into the Show--Rival
Bands of Atlanta Citizens Meet in the Circus Tent--A Bunch of Angry
Hornets Causes Much Bitter Feeling.
I expect that next year I shall be one of the managers of this show,
'cause they tell me I have got the greatest head of any boy that has
ever traveled with the show.
We haven't been having a very big business in the south, because the
negroes haven't money enough to patronize shows, and a lot of the white
people are either too high-toned or else they are politicians and want a
pass. The managers and heads of departments held a meeting to devise
some way to get both classes interested, and everybody was asked to
state their views. After they all got through talking pa asked me what I
thought would be the best way to get the people excited about the show,
and I told him there was no way except to inject a little politics into
it. I said if they would give me $50 or so, to buy Chinese lanterns, and
about a hundred complimentary tickets to give away, pa and I could go to
Atlanta a couple of days ahead of the show and we could organize a
Roosevelt club among the negroes, and a Bryan club among the white
fellows, and at the evening performance we could have the two clubs
march into the main tent, one from the main entrance, and one from the
dressing room, with Chinese lanterns, and one could yell for Roosevelt
and the other for Bryan, and advertise that a great sensation would be
sprung at the evening performance. I said the tent wouldn't begin to
hold the people.
Every one of the managers and heads of departments said it would be
great stuff. Pa was the only one that kicked. He said the two
processions might get into a fight, but I said what if they did, we
wouldn't be to blame. Let 'em fight if they want to, and we can see fair
play.
So they all agreed that pa and I should go to Atlanta ahead, and
organize the political processions, and, say, we had such a time that
the circus came near never getting out of the town alive. We overdid the
thing, so they wanted to lynch me, and pa wanted to help.
The way it was was this way: Pa was to organize the white men for Bryan,
and I was to organize the negroes for Roosevelt, and we went to work and
bought 600 Chinese lanterns, and pa stored his half of the lanterns in a
barn on the circus lot and I stored mine in another barn owned by a
negro that I gave five dollars to be my assistant, with a promise that
he should have a job traveling with the show, to milk the sacred cow. I
told this negro what the program was, and that I wanted 200 negroes who
had an ambition to be politicians, and hold office, and I would not only
pass them into the show free, but see that they got a permanent office.
What we had got to do, I said, was to stampede the white procession,
that would be led by pa, and the way to do it was for every negro in my
party to skirmish around in the woods and find a hornet's nest, and
bring it to our barn, and fit it into one of the Chinese lanterns, and
fix a candle on top of the nest, while the hornets were asleep. Then
when we met the Bryan procession we were to shout and wave our lanterns,
and if necessary to whack the white men over the head with the lantern
with the hornets' nest, and the hornets would wake up and do the rest.
The negro wanted to know how I could prevent the hornets from stinging
our own men, and I told him that we had been in the hornet business all
the season and never had one of our own men stung. I said we took some
assafoetida and rubbed it on our clothes and faces, and the hornets
wouldn't touch us, but just went for the other fellows to beat the band.
Say, negroes are easy marks. You can make them believe anything. But if
I ever get to be president I am going to appoint my negro assistant to a
position in my cabinet, 'cause he is the greatest political organizer I
ever saw. He rounded up over 200 cotton pickers and negro men who work
in the freight depots once in a while and started them out after
hornets' nests. He gave them some change to get a drink, and promised
them free passes into the show next night, and the next morning they
showed up with hornets' nests enough to scare you. They put them in a
dark place in the barn, so the hornets wouldn't get curious and want to
come out of the nests before they got their cue.
That afternoon we fitted them into the Chinese lanterns, and tied sticks
on the lanterns and fixed the candles, and when night came there were
more negroes than I could use, But I told them to follow along, and the
door tender would let them in, and all they need to do was to yell for
Teddy when I did, and so we marched to the main tent about the time the
performance got to going. I saw pa with his gang of white men go into
the dressing room at about the same time. The manager had timed it for
us to come in about 8:30, into the main tent, when the elephants were in
their pyramid act, so my crowd of negroes stopped in the menagerie tent
half an hour waiting to be called.
I wish I wasn't so confounded curious, but I suppose I was born that
way. I took one of the Chinese lanterns that was not lighted and just
thought I would like to see what the hyenas and the big lion, who were
in the same cage, with an iron partition between them, would do if a
Chinese lantern was put in the cage, so I got the fellow that watches
the cage to open up the top trap door, and I dropped a Chinese lantern
with a hornets' nest in it right between the two hyenas. Gee, but you
ought to have seen them pounce on it, and bite it and tear it up, and
then the hornets woke up, and they didn't do a thing to that mess of
hyenas. The hyenas set up a grand hailing sign of distress, and howled
pitiful, and the lion raised up his head and looked at them through the
bars as though he was saying, in a snarling way, "What you grave robbers
howling about? Can't you keep still and let the czar of all the animals
enjoy his after dinner nap?"
Just then the hyenas kicked what was left of the hornets' nest under the
bars into his side of the cage, and he put his foot on it and growled,
and about a hundred hornets gave him his. He gave an Abyssinian cough
that woke all the animals, and then the hornets scattered and before I
knew it the zebras were dancing a snake dance and all of them were
howling as though they were in the ark, hungry, and the ark had landed
on Mount Ararat.
Just then one of the assistant managers beckoned to me to lead in my
procession and we lighted the candles in our Chinese lanterns. I didn't
stop to see how the animals got along with the hornets, but I couldn't
help thinking that if one hornets' nest could raise such a row, what
would a hundred or so do when we got to going in the other tent?
Oh, if I had only died when I was young, I never would have witnessed
that sight. The band played, "There'll be a Hot Time in the Old Town
To-night," and pa's crowd of white trash marched around the big outside
ring shouting, "Bryan! Bryan! What's the matter with Bryan!" and the
audience got up on its hind legs and yelled--that is the white folks
did--and then we marched around the other way, and yelled, "Teddy is the
stuff! Teddy is the stuff!" and the negroes in the audience yelled. Then
my crowd met pa's crowd right by the middle ring, where the elephants
had formed the pyramid that closes their act, and the Japanese jugglers
were in the right-hand ring, and a party of female tumblers, with
low-necked stockings, were standing at attention in the left-hand ring.
There was no intention of having a riot, but when pa yelled, "What's the
matter with Bryan?" a negro in my crowd yelled, "That's what's the
matter with Bryan," and he hit pa over the head with his Chinese
lantern, loaded with a warm hornets' nest as big as a football, which
had taken fire from the candle. Pa dropped his lantern and began to
fight hornets, and then all the white trash in pa's bunch rushed up and
began to whack my poor downtrodden negroes with their Chinese lanterns.
Of course, my fellows couldn't stand still and be mauled, and the
candles had warmed our hornets' nests so the hornets were crawling out
to see what was the trouble. Then every negro whacked a white man with a
hornets' nest and the audience fairly went wild with excitement.
[Illustration: He Hit Pa Over the Head with His Chinese Lanterns.]
The hornets got busy and went for the elephants and the Japanese
jugglers, and they stampeded like they never met a hornet before.
[Illustration: The Stampeded Like They Never Met a Hornet Before.]
The female tumblers found hornets on their stockings, and everywhere,
and they gave a female war whoop and rushed for the dressing room. The
elephants got stung and they came down off their pyramid and went out to
the menagerie tent trumpeting, and switching their trunks. The negroes
and the white politicians were getting into a race war, so the circus
hands rushed in and separated them, and my negroes found that the fetty
I had them rub on themselves did not keep the hornets from stinging
them, so they stampeded.
Then the hornets began to go for the audience, and the women yelled
murder and pulled down their dresses to cover their shoes, and the men
got stung and the whole audience stampeded into the open air.
Then I met pa, and he was a sight, and I never got stung once. The
managers tried to get the band to play some tune that would soothe and
hold the audience till an explanation could be made, but somebody had
thrown a hornets' nest under the band seats and the horn players got
stung on the lips so they couldn't play, and the band all lit out for a
beer garden. Before I realized it the show was over, and a detective
that detects for the show had me collared and brought me up before a
meeting of the managers. Pa was the prosecuting attorney, and told them
that I didn't run my politics fair, 'cause I had brought in a lot of
ringers. The managers asked me how the hornets' nests came to be in the
Chinese lanterns. I told them they would have to ask the negroes for how
was I to know what weapons they had concealed about their persons, any
more than pa was responsible if his politicians carried revolvers.
They said that looked reasonable, but they believed I knew more about it
than anybody, but as we had to pack up the show and make the next town
they wouldn't lynch me till the next day. Pa got me to put cold cream on
his stings, and then he said, "Hennery, you are the limit."