The time of special trains was made for slaves, not Asiatic Princes.
You may take an Eastern Magnate to a manufactory, but you can only
with difficulty get him to lunch with the local Mayor.
There is many a slip between the Prince and the lift.
A view of machinery in motion in hand is worth two invitations to
receptions in prospective.
Cocked-hats of a feather flock together.
You cannot make pleasure out of the address of a corporation.
All roads lead to turtle soup.
It is an ill wind that causes a swell on the Ship Canal.
People who live in mosques ought not to throw sticks at the Derby.
A programme kept to time is not worth nine.
The early mayor has to wait longest.
Give a Highness a wrong title and report him.
Enough at a factory is better than a feast in a Town Hall.
It is a long explanation that has no turning.
A jerk is as good as a nod to a bowing multitude.
When a person of the first importance enters by the door all settled
arrangements disappear through the window.
The Representative of an Illustrious Race laughs at Traffic Managers.
The English Public enjoys a sensation, but the Indian Empire pays for
it.
When the Prince is away, to fill up the time the band will play.
The son proposes but the father disposes.
The autocrat through the telegraph waits for no one.
Welcome the coming quiet and speed the exhausted guest.
* * * * *
An Opportunity not to be Missed.
_Tired Reviewer_ (_to Anxious Author_). Ah! old fellow! I'm fagged
out! Come and dine with me to-night? Sorry to give you such short
notice.
_Anxious Author._ "Short notice!" Oh, please, never do _that_.
[_Exeunt together_.
* * * * *
"A SALE! A SALE!"
The Price Sale of pictures on Saturday last at Christie's will be ever
memorable as "The Highest Price Sale." "'What's the demd total?' was
the first question _Mr. Mantilini_ asked." To which the present answer
is £87,144. A nice little sum to go on with, or off with. One of the
incidents was most dramatic. GAINSBOROUGH'S "_Lady Musgrave_" was put
up to be purchased. Then stood forward bold WILLIAM AGNEW with
eight thousand guineas in his best gossamer. "The lady is mine!" he
exclaimed, rapturously, and was advancing with arms outstretched to
seize his prize, when suddenly his path was crossed by one CAMPBELL
"of that ilk," who cried aloud, "Here are ten thousand golden
sovereigns _plus_ ten thousand silver shillings, all glittering on a
tray! Advance no further!" And bold WILLIAM advanced no further.
For once he was taken aback. "I didna ken the CAMPBELL was coming!"
muttered WILLIAM A-bashed. And ere he could recover from his surprise,
and while yet his frame was quivering with excitement, his picture,
the Lady that should have been his, was gone. "They have given her
to another!" he sang sadly, but the next moment he pulled himself
together, and "taking heart of Grace" WILLIAM made such running, off
his own bat, as would have astonished even the eminent cricketer
just mentioned. And the last of the "Reynolds' Miscellany" in this
collection succumbed to WILLIAM the Conqueror for 450 guineas. _Sic
transit gloria Saturday!_
* * * * *
NEW NAME.--The Imperial Institute henceforward to be known as "The
Somers Vinery."
* * * * *