He was accepted and indorsed by leading spiritualists in different parts

of the country, as a good medium, who performed the most remarkable

spiritual wonders. As the worthy doctor practiced this innocent

deception on the professed mediums solely in order that he might thus be

able to expose their blasphemous impositions, the public will scarcely

dispute that in this case the end justified the means. I suppose it is

not possible for any professed medium to puzzle or deceive the doctor.

He is up to all their "dodges," because he has learned in their school.

Mediums always insist upon certain conditions, and those conditions are

just such as will best enable them to deceive the senses and pervert the

judgment.

Anderson "the Wizard of the North," and other conjurers in England,

gave the Davenports battle, but the "prestidigitators" did not reap many

laurels. Conjurers are no more likely to understand the tricks of the

mediums than any other person is. Before a trick can be exposed it must

be learned. Dr. Van Vleck, having learned "the ropes," is competent to

expose them; and he is doing it in many interesting public lectures and

illustrations.

If the Davenports were exhibiting simply as jugglers, I might admire

their dexterity, and have nothing to say against them; but when they

presumptuously pretend to deal in "things spiritual," I consider it my

duty, while treating of humbugs, to do this much at least in exposing

them.

CHAPTER X.

THE SPIRIT-RAPPING AND MEDIUM HUMBUGS.--THEIR ORIGIN.--HOW THE THING IS

DONE.--$500 REWARD.

The "spirit-rapping" humbug was started in Hydesville, New York, about

seventeen years ago, by several daughters of a Mr. Fox, living in that

place. These girls discovered that certain exercises of their anatomy

would produce mysterious sounds--mysterious to those who heard them,

simply because the means of their production were not apparent. Reports

of this wonder soon went abroad, and the Fox family were daily visited

by people from different sections of the country--all having a greed for

the marvelous. Not long after the strange sounds were first heard, some

one suggested that they were, perhaps, produced by spirits; and a

request was made for a certain number of raps, if that suggestion was

correct. The specified number were immediately heard. A plan was then

proposed by means of which communications might be received from "the

spirits." An investigator would repeat the alphabet, writing down

whatever letters were designated by the "raps." Sentences were thus

formed--the orthography, however, being decidedly bad.

What purported to be the spirit of a murdered peddler, gave an account

of his "taking off." He said that his body was buried beneath that very

house, in a corner of the cellar; that he had been killed by a former

occupant of the premises. A peddler really had disappeared, somewhat

mysteriously, from that part of the country some time before; and ready

credence was given the statements thus spelled out through the "raps."

Digging to the depth of eight feet in the cellar did not disclose any

"dead corpus," or even the remains of one. Soon after that, the missing

peddler reappeared in Hydesville, still "clothed with mortality," and

having a new assortment of wares to sell.

That the "raps" were produced by disembodied spirits many firmly

believed. False communications were attributed to evil spirits. The

answers to questions were as often wrong as right; and only right when

the answer could be easily guessed, or inferred from the nature of the

question itself.

The Fox family moved to Rochester, New York, soon after the

rapping-humbug was started; and it was there that their first public

effort was made. A committee was appointed to investigate the matter,

most of whom reported adversely to the claims of the "mediums;" though

all of them were puzzled to know how the thing was done. In Buffalo,

where the Foxes subsequently let their spirits flow, a committee of

doctors reported that these loosely-constructed girls produced the

"raps" by snapping their toe and knee joints. That theory, though very

much ridiculed by the spiritualists then and since, was correct, as

further developments proved.

Mrs. Culver, a relative of the Fox girls, made a solemn deposition

before a magistrate, to the effect that one of the girls had instructed

her how to produce the "raps," on condition that she (Mrs. C.) should

not communicate a knowledge of the matter to any one. Mrs. Culver was a

good Christian woman, and she felt it her duty--as the deception had

been carried so far--to expose the matter. She actually produced the

"raps," in presence of the magistrate, and explained the manner of

making them.

Doctor Von Vleck--to whom I referred in connection with my exposition of

the Davenport imposture--produces very loud "raps" before his audiences,

and so modulates them that they will seem to be at any desired point in

his vicinity; yet not a movement of his body betrays the fact that the

sounds are caused by him.

The Fox family found that the rapping business would be made to pay; and

so they continued it, with varying success, for a number of years,

making New York city their place of residence and principal field of

operation. I believe that none of them are now in the "spiritual line."

Margaret Fox, the youngest of the rappers, has for some time been a

member of the Roman Catholic Church.

From the very commencement of spiritualism, there has been a constantly

increasing demand for "spiritual" wonders, to meet which numerous

"mediums" have been "developed."

Many, who otherwise would not be in the least distinguished, have become

"mediums" in order to obtain notoriety, if nothing more.

Communicating by "raps" was a slow process; so some of the mediums took

to writing spasmodically; others talked in a "trance"--all under the

influence of spirits!

Mediumship has come to be a profession steadily pursued by quite a

number of persons, who get their living by it.

There are various classes of "mediums," the operations of each class

being confined to a particular department of "spiritual" humbuggery.

Some call themselves "test mediums;" and, by insisting upon certain

formulas, they succeed in astonishing, if they don't convince most of

them who visit them. It is by this class that the public is most likely

to be deceived.

There is a person by the name of J. V. Mansfield, who has been called by

spiritualists the "Great Spirit Postmaster," his specialty being the

answering of sealed letters addressed to spirits. The letters are

returned--some of them at least--to the writers without appearing to

have been opened, accompanied by answers purporting to be written

through Mansfield by the spirits addressed. Such of these letters as are

sealed with gum-arabic merely, can be steamed open, and the envelopes

resealed and reglazed as they were before. If sealing-wax has been used,

a sharp, thin blade will enable the medium to nicely cut off the seal by

splitting the paper under it; and then, after a knowledge of the

contents of the letter is arrived at, the seal can be replaced in its

original position, and made fast with gum-arabic. Not more than one out

of a hundred would be likely to observe that the seal had ever been

tampered with. The investigator opens the envelope, when returned to

him, at the end, preserving the sealed part intact, in order to show his

friends that the letter was answered without being opened!

Another method of the medium is, to slit open the envelope at the end

with a sharp knife, and afterward stick it together again with gum,

rubbing the edge slightly as soon as the gum is dry. If the job is

nicely done, a close observer would hardly perceive it.

Mr. Mansfield does not engage to answer all letters; those unanswered

being too securely sealed for him to open without detection. To secure

the services of the "Great Spirit-Postmaster," a fee of five dollars

must accompany your letter to the spirits; and the money is retained

whether an answer is returned or not.

Rather high postage that!

Several years since, a gentleman living in Buffalo, N. Y., addressed

some questions to one of his spirit-friends, and inclosed them, together

with a single hair and a grain of sand, in an envelope, which he sealed

so closely that no part of the contents could escape while being

transmitted by mail. The questions were sent to Mr. Mansfield and

answers requested through his "mediumship." The envelope containing the

questions was soon returned, with answers to the letter. The former did

not appear to have been opened. Spreading a large sheet of blank paper

on a table before him, the gentleman opened the envelope and placed its

contents on the table. The hair and grain of sand were not there.

Time and again has Mansfield been convicted of imposture, yet he still

prosecutes his nefarious business.

The "Spirit-Postmaster" fails to get answers to such questions as these:

"Where did you die?"

"When?"

"Who attended you in your last illness?"

"What were your last words?"

"How many were present at your death?"

But if the questions are of such a nature as the following, answers are

generally obtained:

"Are you happy?"

"Are you often near me?"

"And can you influence me?"

"Have you changed your religious notions since entering the

spirit-world?"

It is to be observed that the questions which the "Spirit-Postmaster"

can answer _require no knowledge of facts about the applicant_, while

those which he cannot answer, do require it.

Address, for instance, your spirit-father without mentioning his name,

and the name will not be given in connection with the reply purporting

to come from him--unless the medium knows your family.

I will write a series of questions addressed to one of my

spirit-friends, inclose them in an envelope, and if Mr. Mansfield or any

other professed medium will answer those questions pertinently in my

presence, and without touching the envelope, I will give to such party

five hundred dollars, and think I have got the worth of my money.

CHAPTER XI.

THE "BALLOT-TEST."--THE OLD GENTLEMAN AND HIS "DISEASED" RELATIVES.--A

"HUNGRY SPIRIT."--"PALMING" A BALLOT.--REVELATIONS ON STRIPS OF PAPER.

An aptitude for deception is all the capital that a person requires in

order to become a "spirit-medium;" or, at least, to gain the reputation

of being one. Backing up the pretence to mediumship with a show of

something mysterious, is all-sufficient to enlist attention, and insure

the making of converts.

One of the most noted of the mediumistic fraternity--whose name I do not

choose to give at present--steadily pursued his business, for several

years, in a room in Broadway, in this city, and succeeded not only in

humbugging a good many people, but in what was more important to

him--acquiring quite an amount of money. His mode of operating was "the

ballot-test," and was as follows:

Medium and investigator being seated opposite each other at a table, the

latter was handed several slips of blank paper, with the request that he

write the first (or Christian) names--one on each paper--of several of

his deceased relatives, which being done, he was desired to touch the

folded papers, one after the other, till one should be designated, by

three tips of the table, as containing the name of the spirit who would

communicate. The selected paper was laid aside, and the others thrown

upon the floor, the investigator being further requested to write on as

many different pieces of paper as contained the names, and the relation

(to himself) of the spirits bearing them. Supposing the names written

were Mary, Joseph, and Samuel, being, respectively, the investigator's

mother, father, and brother. The last-named class would be secondly

written, and one of them designated by three tips of the table, as in

the first instance. The respective ages of the deceased parties, at the

time of their decease, would also be written, and one of them selected.

The first "test" consisted in having the selected name, relationship,

and age correspond--that is, refer to the same party; to ascertain which

the investigator was desired to look at them, and state if it was the

case. If the correspondence was affirmed, a communication was soon

given, with the selected name, relationship, and age appended.

Questions, written in the presence of the medium, were answered

relevantly, if not pertinently. Investigators generally did their part

of the writing in a guarded manner, interposing their left hand between

the paper on which they wrote and the medium's eyes; and they were very

much astonished when they received a communication, couched in

affectionate terms, with the names of their spirit-friends attached.

By long practice, the medium was enabled to determine what the

investigator wrote, by the motion of his hand in writing. Nine out of

ten wrote the relationship first that corresponded with the first name

they had written. Therefore, if the medium selected the first that was

written of each class, they in most cases referred to the same spirit.

He waited till the investigator had affirmed the coincidence, before

proceeding; for he did not like to write a communication, appending to

it, for instance, "Your Uncle John," when it ought to be "Your Father

John." The reason he did not desire inquirers to write the surnames of

their spirit-friends, was this: almost all Christian names are common,

and he was familiar with the motions which the hand must make in writing

them; but there are comparatively few people who have the same surnames,

and to determine them would have been more difficult. No fact was

communicated that had not been surreptitiously gleaned from the

investigator.

An old gentleman, apparently from the country, one day entered the room

of this medium and expressed a desire for a "sperit communication."

He was told to take a seat at the table, and to write the names of his

deceased relatives. The medium, like many others, incorrectly pronounced

the term "deceased," the same as "diseased"--sounding the s like z.

The old gentleman carefully adjusted his "specs" and did what was

required of him. A name and relationship having been selected from those

written, the investigator was desired to examine and state if they

referred to one party.

"Wal, I declare they do!" said he. "But I say Mister, what has them

papers to do with a sperit communication?"

"You will see, directly," replied the medium.

Whereupon the latter spasmodically wrote a "communication," which read

somewhat as follows:

"MY DEAR HUSBAND:--I am very glad to be able to address you through

this channel. Keep on investigating, and you will soon be convinced

of the great fact of spirit-intercourse. I am happy in my

spirit-home; patiently awaiting the time when you will join me

here, etc. Your loving wife, BETSEY."

"Good gracious! But my old woman can't be dead," said the investigator,

"for I left her tu hum!"

"Not dead!" exclaimed the medium. "Did I not tell you to write the names

of deceazed relatives?"

"Diseased!" returned the old man; "Wal, she ain't anything else, for

she's had the rumatiz orfully for six months!"

Saying which, he took his hat and left, concluding that it was not worth

while to "keep on investigating" any longer at that time.

This same medium, not long since, visited Great Britain for the purpose

of practicing his profession there.

In one of the cities of Scotland, some shrewd investigator divined that

he was able to nearly guess from the motion of the hand what questions

were written.

"Are you happy?" being a question commonly asked the "spirits," one of

these gentlemen varied it by asking:

"Are you hungry?"

The reply was, an emphatic affirmative.

They tricked the trickster in other ways; one of which was to write the

names of mortals instead of spirits. It made no difference, however, as

to getting a "communication."

To tip the table without apparent muscular exertion, this impostor

placed his hands on it in such a way that the "pisiform bone" (which may

be felt projecting at the lower corner of the palm, opposite the thumb)

pressed against the edge. By pushing, the table tipped from him, it

being prevented from sliding by little spikes in the legs of the side

opposite the operator.

There are other "ballot-test mediums," as they are called, who have a

somewhat different method of cheating. They, too, require investigators

to write the names--in full, however--of their spirit-friends; the slips

of paper containing the names, to be folded and placed on a table. The

medium then seizes one of the "ballots," and asks:

"Is the spirit present whose name is on this?"

Dropping that and taking another:

"On this?"

So he handles all the papers without getting a response. During this

time, however, he has dexterously "palmed" one of the ballots,

which--while telling the investigator to be patient, as the spirits

would doubtless soon come--he opens with his left hand, on his knee,

under the edge of the table.

A mere glance enables him to read the name. Refolding the paper, and

retaining it in his hand, he remarks:

"I will touch the ballots again, and perhaps one of them will be

designated this time."

Dropping among the rest the one he had "palmed," he soon picks it up

again, whereat three loud "raps" are heard.

"That paper," says he to the investigator, "probably contains the name

of the spirit who rapped; please hold it in your hand."

Then seizing a pencil, he writes a name, which the investigator finds to

be the one contained in the selected paper.

If the ballots are few in number, a blank is put with the pile, when the

medium "palms" one, else the latter might be missed.

It seems the spirits can never give their names without being reminded

of them by the investigator, and then they are so doubtful of their own

identity that they have but little to say for themselves.

One medium to whom I have already alluded, after a sojourn of several

years in California--whither he went from Boston, seeking whom he might

humbug--has now returned to the East, and is operating in this city.

Besides answering sealed letters, he furnishes written "communications"

to parties visiting him at his rooms--a "sitting," however, being

granted to but one person at a time. His terms are only five dollars an

hour.

Seated at a table in a part of the room where is the most light, he

hands the investigator a strip of blank, white paper, rather thin and

light of texture, about a yard long and six inches wide, requesting him

to write across one end of it a single question, addressed to a

spirit-friend, then to sign his own name, and fold the paper once or

twice over what he has written. For instance:

"BROTHER SAMUEL:--Will you communicate with me through this medium?

WILLIAM FRANKLIN."

To learn what has been written, the medium lays the paper down on the

table, and repeatedly rubs the fingers of his right hand over the folds

made by the inquirer. If that does not render the writing visible

through the one thickness of paper that covers it, he slightly raises

the edge of the folds with his left hand while he continues to rub with

his right; and that admits of the light shining through, so that the

writing can be read. The other party is so situated that the writing is

not visible to him through the paper, and he is not likely to presume

that it is visible to the medium; the latter having assigned as a reason

for his manipulations that spirits were able to read the questions only

by means of the odylic, magnetic, or some other emanation from the ends

of his fingers!

Having learned the question, of course the medium can reply to it,

giving the name of the spirit addressed; but before doing so, he

doubles the two folds made by the inquirer, and, for a show of

consistency, again rubs his fingers over the paper. Then more folds and

more rubbing--all the folding, additional to the inquirer's, being done

to keep the latter from observing, when he comes to read the answer,

that it was possible for the medium to read the question through the two

folds of paper. The answer is written upon the same strip of paper that

accompanies the question.

The medium requires the investigator to write his questions each on a

different strip of paper; and before answering, he every time

manipulates the paper in the way I have described. When rubbing his

fingers over the question, he often shuts the eye which is toward the

inquirer--which prevents suspicion; but the other eye is open wide

enough to enable him to read the question through the paper.

Should a person write a test-question, the medium could not answer it

correctly even if he did see it. In his "communications" he uses many

terms of endearment, and if possible flatters the recipient out of his

common-sense, and into the belief that "after all there may be something

in it!"

Should the inquirer "smell a rat," and take measures to prevent the

medium from learning, in the way I have stated, what question is

written, he (the medium) gets nervous and discontinues the "sitting,"

alleging that conditions are unfavorable for spirit-communication.

CHAPTER XII.

SPIRITUAL "LETTERS ON THE ARM."--HOW TO MAKE THEM YOURSELF.--THE

TAMBOURINE AND RING FEATS.--DEXTER'S DANCING HATS.--PHOSPHORESCENT

OIL.--SOME SPIRITUAL SLANG.

The mediums produce "blood-red letters on the arm" in a very simple way.

It is done with a pencil, or some blunt-pointed instrument, it being

necessary to bear on hard while the movement of writing is being

executed. The pressure, though not sufficient to abrade the skin, forces

the blood from the capillary vessels over which the pencil passes, and

where, when the reaction takes place, an unusual quantity of blood

gathers and becomes plainly visible through the cuticle. Gradually, as

an equilibrium of the circulation is restored, the letters pass away.

This "manipulation" is generally produced by the medium in connection

with the ballot-test. Having learned the name of an investigator's

spirit-friend, in the manner stated in a previous article, the

investigator is set to writing some other names. While he is thus

occupied, the medium quickly slips up his sleeve under the table, and

writes on his arm the name he has learned.

Try the experiment yourself, reader. Hold out your left arm; clench the

fist so as to harden the muscle a little, and write your name on the

skin with a blunt pencil or any similar point, in letters say

three-quarters of an inch long, pressing firmly enough to feel a little

pain. Rub the place briskly a dozen times; this brings out the letters

quickly, in tolerably-distinct red lines.

On thick, tough skins it is difficult to produce letters in this way.

They might also be outlined more deeply by sharply pricking in dots

along the lines of the desired letters.

Among others who seek to gain money and notoriety by the exercise of

their talents for "spiritual" humbuggery, is a certain woman, whom I

will not further designate, but whose name is at the service of any

proper person, and who exhibited not long since in Brooklyn and New

York. This woman is accompanied by her husband, who is a confederate in

the playing of her "little game."

She seats herself at a table, which has been placed against the wall of

the room. The audience is so seated as to form a semicircle, at one end

of which, and near enough to the medium to be able to shake hands with

her, or nearly so, sits her husband, with perhaps an accommodating

spiritualist next to him. Then the medium, in an assumed voice, engages

in a miscellaneous talk, ending with a request that some one sit by her

and hold her hand.

A skeptic is permitted to do that. When thus placed, skeptic is directly

between the medium and her husband, and with his back to the latter. The

husband plays spirit, and with his right hand--which is free, the other

only being held by the accommodating spiritualist--pats the investigator

on the head, thumps him with a guitar and other instruments, and may be

pulls his hair.

The medium assumes all this to be done by a spirit, because her hands

are held and she could not do it! Profound reasoning! If any one

suggests that the husband had better sit somewhere else, the medium will

not hear to it--"he is a part of the battery," and the necessary

conditions must not be interfered with. Sure enough! Accommodating

spiritualist also says he holds husband fast.

A tambourine-frame, without the head, and an iron ring, large enough to

pass over one's arm, are exhibited to the audience. Medium says the

spirits have such power over matter as to be able to put one or both

those things on to her arm while some one holds her hands.

The party who is privileged to hold her hands on such occasion, has to

grope his way to her in the dark. Having reached her, she seizes his

hands, and passes one of them down her neck and along her arm, saying:

"Now you know there is no ring already there!"

Soon after he feels the tambourine-frame or ring slide over his hand and

on to his arm. A light is produced in order that he may see it is there.

When he took her hands he felt the frame or ring--or at any rate, a

frame or ring--under his elbow on the table, from which place it was

pulled by some power just before it went on to his arm. Such is his

report to the audience. But in fact, the medium has two frames, or else

a tambourine, and a tambourine-frame. She allows the investigator to

feel one of these.

She has, however, previous to his taking her hands, put one arm and head

through the frame she uses; so that of course he does not feel it when

she passes his hand down one side of her neck and over one of her arms,

as it is under that arm. Her husband pulls the tambourine from under the

investigator's elbow; then the medium gets her head back through the

frame, leaving it on her arm, or sliding it on to his, and the work is

done!

She has also two iron rings. One of them she puts over her arm and the

point of her shoulder, where it snugly remains, covered with a cape

which she persists in wearing on these occasions, till the investigator

takes her hands (in the dark) and feels the other ring under his elbows;

then the husband disposes of the ring on the table, and the medium works

the other one down on to her arm. The audience saw but one ring, and the

person sitting with the medium thought he had that under his elbow till

it was pulled away and put on the arm!

Some years ago, a man by the name of Dexter, who kept an oyster and

liquor saloon on Bleecker street, devised a somewhat novel exhibition

for the purpose of attracting custom. A number of hats, placed on the

floor of his saloon, danced (or bobbed up and down) in time to music.

His place was visited by a number of the leading spiritualists of New

York, several of whom were heard to express a belief that the hats were

moved by spirits! Dexter, however, did not claim to be a medium, though

he talked vaguely of "the power of electricity," when questioned with

regard to his exhibition. Besides making the hats dance, he would

(apparently) cause a violin placed in a box on the floor to sound, by

waving his hands over it.

The hats were moved by a somewhat complicated arrangement of wires,

worked by a confederate, out of sight. These wires were attached to

levers, and finally came up through the floor, through small holes

hidden from observation by the sawdust strewn there, as is common in

such places.

The violin in the box did not sound at all. It was another violin, under

the floor, that was heard. It is not easy for a person to exactly locate

a sound when the cause is not apparent. In short, Mr. Dexter's

operations may be described as only consisting of a little well-managed

Dexterity!

A young man "out West," claiming to be influenced by spirits, astonished

people by reading names, telling time by watches, etc., in a dark room.

He sat at a centre-table, which was covered with a cloth, in the middle

of the room. Investigators sat next the walls. The name of a spirit, for

instance, would be written and laid on a table, when in a short time he

pronounced it. To tell the time by a watch, he required it to be placed

on the table, or in his hand. With the tablecloth over his head, a

bottle of phosphorated oil enabled him to see, when not the least

glimmer of light was visible to others in the room.

If any of the "spiritualist" philosophers were to be asked what is the

philosophy of these proceedings, he would probably reply with a mess of

balderdash pretty much like the following:

"There is an infinitesimal influence of sympathy between mind and

matter, which permeates all beings, and pervades all the delicate niches

and interstices of human intelligence. This sympathetic influence

working upon the affined intelligence of an affinity, coagulates itself

into a corporiety, approximating closely to the adumbration of mortality

in its highest admensuration, at last accuminating in an accumination."

On these great philosophic principles it will not be difficult to

comprehend the following actual quotation from the Spiritual Telegraph:

"In the twelfth hour, the holy procedure shall crown the Triune Creator

with the most perfect disclosive illumination. Then shall the creation

in the effulgence above the divine seraphemal, arise into the dome of

the disclosure in one comprehensive revolving galaxy of supreme created

beatitudes."

That those not surcharged with the divine afflatus may be able to get at

the meaning of the above paragraph, it is translated thus:

"Then shall all the blockheads in the nincompoopdome of disclosive

procedure above the all-fired leather-fungus of Peter Nephninnygo, the

gooseberry grinder, rise into the dome of the disclosure until coequaled

and coexistensive and conglomerate lumuxes in one comprehensive mux

shall assimilate into nothing, and revolve like a bob-tailed pussy cat

after the space where the tail was."

What power there is in spiritualism!

I shall be glad to receive, for publication, authentic information, from

all parts of the world in regard to the doings of pretended

spiritualists, especially those who perform for money. It is high time

that the credulous portion of our community should be saved from the

deceptions, delusions, and swindles of these blasphemous mountebanks and

impostors.

CHAPTER XIII.

DEMONSTRATIONS BY "SAMPSON" UNDER A TABLE.--A MEDIUM WHO IS HANDY WITH

HER FEET.--EXPOSE OF ANOTHER OPERATOR IN DARK CIRCLES.

Considerable excitement has been created in various parts of the West by

a young woman, whose name need not here be given, who pretends to be a

"medium for physical manifestations." She is rather tall and quite

muscular, her general manner and expression indicating innocence and

simplicity.

The "manifestations" exhibited by her purport to be produced by Samson,

the Hebrew champion and anti-philistine.

In preparing for her exhibition, she has a table placed sideways against

the wall of the room, and covered with a thick blanket that reaches to

the floor. A large tin dishpan, with handles (or ears,) a German

accordeon, and a tea-bell are placed under the table, at the end of

which she seats herself in such a way that her body is against the top,

and her lower limbs underneath, her skirts being so adjusted as to fill

the space between the end legs of the table, and at the same time allow

free play for her pedal extremities. The blanket, at the end where she

sits, comes to her waist and hangs down to the floor on each side of her

chair. The space under the table is thus made dark--a necessary

condition, it is claimed--and all therein concealed from view. The

"medium" then folds her arms, looks careless, and the "manifestations"

commence. The accordeon is sounded, no music being executed upon it, and

the bell rung at the same time. Then the dishpan receives such treatment

that it makes a terrible noise. Some one is requested to go to the end

of the table opposite the "medium," put his hand under the blanket, take

hold of the dishpan, and pull. He does so, and finds that some power is

opposing him, holding the dishpan to one place. Not being rude, he

forbears to jerk with all his force, but retires to his seat. The table

rises several inches and comes down "kerslap," then it tips forward a

number of times; then one end jumps up and down in time to music, if

there is any one present to play; loud raps are heard upon it, and the

hypothetical Samson has quite a lively time generally. Some of the

mortals present, one at a time, put their fingers, by request, against

the blankets, through which those members are gingerly squeezed by what

might be a hand, if there was one under the table. A person being told

to take hold of the top of the table at the ends, he does so, and finds

it so heavy that he can barely lift it. Setting it down, he is told to

raise it again several inches; and at the second lifting it is no

heavier than one would naturally judge such a piece of furniture to be.

Another person is asked to lift the end furthest from the medium;

having done so, it suddenly becomes quite weighty, and, relaxing his

hold, it comes down with much force upon the floor. Thus, by the

power--exercised beneath the table--of an assumed spirit, that piece of

cabinet-ware becomes heavy or light, and is moved in various ways, the

medium not appearing to do it.

In addition to her other "fixins," this medium has a spirit-dial, so

called, on which are letters of the alphabet, the numerals, and such

words as "Yes," "No," and "Don't know." The whole thing is so arranged

that the pulling of a string makes an index hand go the circuit of the

dial-face, and it can be made to stop at any of the characters or words

thereon. This "spirit-dial" is placed on the table, near the end

furthest from the medium, the string passing through a hole and hanging

beneath. In the end of the string there is a knot. While the medium

remains in the same position in which she sat when the other

"manifestations" were produced, communications are spelled out through

the dial, the index being moved by some power under the table that pulls

the string. A coil-spring makes the index fly back to the

starting-point, when the power is relaxed at each indication of a

character or word. The orthography of these "spirits" is "bad if not

worse."

Now for an explanation of the various "manifestations" that I have

enumerated.

The medium is simply handy with her feet. To sound the accordeon and

ring the bell at the same time, she has to take off one of her shoes or

slippers, the latter being generally worn by her on these occasions.

That done, she gets the handle of the tea-bell between the toes of her

right foot, through a hole in the stocking, then putting the heel of the

same foot on the keys of the accordeon, and the other foot into the

strap on the bellows part of that instrument, she easily sounds it, the

motion necessary to do this also causing the bell to ring. She can

readily pass her heels over the keys to produce different notes. She is

thus able to make sounds on the accordeon that approximate to the very

simple tune of "Bounding Billows," and that is the extent of her musical

ability when only using her "pedals."

To get a congress-gaiter off the foot without using the hands is quite

easy; but how to get one on again, those members not being employed to

do it, would puzzle most people. It is not difficult to do, however, if

a cord has been attached to the strap of the gaiter and tied to the leg

above the calf. The cord should be slack, and that will admit of the

gaiter coming off. To get it on, the toe has to be worked into the top

of it, and then pulling on the cord with the toe of the other foot will

accomplish the rest.

The racket with the dishpan is made by putting the toe of the foot into

one of the handles or ears, and beating the pan about. By keeping the

toe in this handle and putting the other foot into the pan, the operator

can "stand a pull" from an investigator, who reaches under the blanket

and takes hold of the other handle.

To raise the table, the "medium" puts her knees under and against the

frame of it, then lifts her heels, pressing the toes against the floor,

at the same time bearing with her arms on the end. To make the table tip

forward, one knee only is pressed against the frame at the back side.

The raps are made with the toe of the medium's shoe against the leg,

frame, or top of the table.

What feels like a hand pressing the investigator's fingers when he puts

them against the blanket, is nothing more than the medium's feet, the

big toe of one foot doing duty for a thumb, and all the toes of the

other foot being used to imitate fingers. The pressure of these, through

a thick blanket, cannot well be distinguished from that of a hand. When

this experiment is to be made, the medium wears slippers that she can

readily get off her feet.

To make the table heavy, the operator presses her knees outwardly

against the legs of the table, and then presses down in opposition to

the party who is lifting, or she presses her knees against that surface

of the legs of the table that is toward her, while her feet are hooked

around the lower part of the legs; that gives her a leverage, by means

of which she can make the whole table or the end furthest from her seem

quite heavy, and if the person lifting it suddenly relaxes his hold, it

will come down with a forcible bang to the floor.

To work the "spirit-dial," the medium has only to press the string with

the toe of her foot against the top of the table, and slide it (the

string) along till the index points at the letter or word she wishes to

indicate. The frame of the dial is beveled, the face declining toward

the medium, so that she has no difficulty in observing where the index

points.

After concluding her performances under the table, this medium sometimes

moves her chair about two feet back and sits with her side toward the

end of the table, with one leg of which, however, the skirt of her dress

comes in contact. Under cover of the skirt she then hooks her foot

around the leg of the table and draws it toward her. This is done

without apparent muscular exertion, while she is engaged in

conversation; and parties present are humbugged into the belief that the

table was moved without "mortal contact"--so they report to outsiders.

This medium has a "manager," and he does his best in managing the

matter, to prevent "Samson being caught" in the act of cheating. The

medium, too, is vigilant, notwithstanding her appearance of carelessness

and innocent simplicity. A sudden rising of the blanket once exposed to

view her pedal extremities in active operation.

Another of the "Dark Circle" mediums gets a good deal of sympathy on

account of her "delicate health." Her health is not so delicate,

however, as to prevent her from laboring hard to humbug people with

"physical demonstrations." She operates only in private, in presence of

a limited number of people.

A circle being formed, the hands of all the members are joined except at

one place where a table intervenes. Those sitting next to this table

place a hand upon it, the other hand of each of these parties being

joined with the circle. The medium takes a position close by the table,

and during the manifestations is supposed to momentarily touch with her

two hands the hands of those parties sitting next to the table. Of

course, she could accomplish little or nothing if she allowed her hands

to be constantly held by investigators; so she hit upon the plan

mentioned above, to make the people present believe that the musical

instruments are not sounded by her. These instruments are within her

reach; and instead of touching the hands of those next the table with

both her hands, as supposed, she touches, alternately, their hands with

but one of hers, the other she expertly uses in sounding the

instruments.

Several years ago, at one of the circles of this medium, in St. John's,

Mich., a light was suddenly introduced, and she was seen in the act of

doing what she had asserted to be done by the "spirits." She has also

been exposed as an impostor in other places.

As I have said before, the mediums always insist on having such

"conditions" as will best enable them to deceive the senses and mislead

the judgment.

If there were a few more "detectives" like Doctor Von Vleck, the whole

mediumistic fraternity would soon "come to grief."

CHAPTER XIV.

SPIRITUAL PHOTOGRAPHING.--COLORADO JEWETT AND THE SPIRIT-PHOTOGRAPHS OF

GENERAL JACKSON, HENRY CLAY, DANIEL WEBSTER, STEPHEN A. DOUGLAS,

NAPOLEON BONAPARTE, ETC.--A LADY OF DISTINCTION SEEKS AND FINDS A

SPIRITUAL PHOTOGRAPH OF HER DECEASED INFANT, AND HER DEAD BROTHER WHO

WAS YET ALIVE.--HOW IT WAS DONE.

In answer to numerous inquiries and several threats of prosecution for

libel in consequence of what I have written in regard to impostors who

(for money) perform tricks of legerdemain and attribute them to the

spirits of deceased persons, I have only to say, I have no malice or

antipathies to gratify in these expositions. In undertaking to show up

the "Ancient and Modern Humbugs of the World," I am determined so far as

in me lies, to publish nothing but the truth. This I shall do, "with

good motives and for justifiable ends," and I shall do it fearlessly and

conscientiously. No threats will intimidate, no fawnings will flatter me

from publishing everything that is true which I think will contribute to

the information or to the amusement of my readers.

Some correspondents ask me if I believe that all pretensions to

intercourse with departed spirits are impositions. I reply, that if

people declare that they privately communicate with or are influenced to

write or speak by invisible spirits, I cannot prove that they are

deceived or are attempting to deceive me--although I believe that one or

the other of these propositions is true. But when they pretend to give

me communications from departed spirits, to tie or untie ropes--to read

sealed letters, or to answer test-questions through spiritual agencies,

I pronounce all such pretensions ridiculous impositions, and I stand

ready at any time to prove them so, or to forfeit five hundred dollars,

whenever these pretended mediums will succeed in producing their

"wonderful manifestations" in a room of my selecting, and with apparatus

of my providing; they not being permitted to handle the sealed letters

or folded ballots which they are to answer, nor to make conditions in

regard to the manner of rope tying, etc. If they can answer my

test-questions relevantly and truly, without touching the envelopes in

which they are sealed--or even when given to them by my word of mouth, I

will hand over the $500. If they can cause invisible agencies to perform

in open daylight many of the things which they pretend to accomplish by

spirits in the dark, I will promptly pay $500 for the sight. In the mean

time, I think I can reasonably account for and explain all pretended

spiritual gymnastic performances--throwings of hair-brushes--dancing

pianos--spirit-rapping--table-tipping--playing of musical instruments,

and flying through the air (in the dark,) and a thousand other

"wonderful manifestations" which, like most of the performances of

modern "magicians," are "passing strange" until explained, and then they

are as flat as dish-water. Dr. Von Vleck publicly produces all of these

pretended "manifestations" in open daylight, without claiming spiritual

aid.

Among the number of humbugs that owe their existence to various

combinations of circumstances and the extreme gullibility of the human

race, the following was related to me by a gentleman whose position and

character warrant me in announcing that it may be implicitly relied upon

as correct in every particular.

Some time before the Presidential election, a photographer residing in

one of our cities (an ingenious man and a scientific chemist,) was

engaged in making experiments with his camera, hoping to discover some

new combination whereby to increase the facility of "picturing the human

form divine," etc. One morning, his apparatus being in excellent order,

he determined to photograph himself. No sooner thought of, than he set

about making his arrangements. All being ready, he placed himself in a

position, remained a second or two, and then instantly closing his

camera, surveyed the result of his operation. On bringing the picture

out upon the plate, he was surprised to find a shadowy representation of

a human being, so remarkably ghostlike and supernatural, that he became

amused at the discovery he had made. The operation was repeated, until

he could produce similar pictures by a suitable arrangement of his

lenses and reflectors known to no other than himself. About this time he

became acquainted with one of the most famous spiritualist-writers, and

in conversation with him, showed him confidentially one of those

photographs, with also the shadow of another person, with the remark,

mysteriously whispered:

"I assure you, Sir, upon my word as a gentleman, and by all my hopes of

a hereafter, that this picture was produced upon the plate as you see

it, at a time when I had locked myself in my gallery, and no other

person was in the room. It appeared instantly, as you see it there; and

I have long wished to obtain the opinion of some man, like yourself, who

has investigated these mysteries."

The spiritualist listened attentively, looked upon the picture, heard

other explanations, examined other pictures, and sagely gave it as his

opinion that the inhabitants of the unknown sphere had taken this mode

of re-appearing to the view of mortal eyes, that this operator must be a

"medium" of especial power. The New York Herald of Progress, a

spiritualist paper, printed the first article upon this man's spiritual

photograph.

The acquaintance thus begun was continued, and the photographer found it

very profitable to oblige his spiritual friend, by the reproduction of

ghost-like pictures, ad infinitum, at the rate of five dollars each.

Mothers came to the room of the artist, and gratefully retired with

ghostly representations of departed little ones. Widows came to purchase

the shades of their departed husbands. Husbands visited the photographer

and procured the spectral pictures of their dead wives. Parents wanted

the phantom-portraits of their deceased children. Friends wished to

look upon what they believed to be the lineaments of those who had long

since gone to the spirit-land. All who sought to look on those pictures

were satisfied with what had been shown them, and, by conversation on

the subject, increased the number of visitors. In short, every person

who heard about this mystery determined to verify the wonderful tales

related, by looking upon the ghostly lineaments of some person, who,

they believed, inhabited another sphere. And here I may as well mention

that one of the faithful obtained a "spirit" picture of a deceased

brother who had been dead more than five years, and said that he

recognized also the very pattern of his cravat as the same that he wore

in life. Can human credulity go further than to suppose that the

departed still appear in the old clo' of their earthly wardrobe? and the

fact that the appearance of "the shade" of a young lady in one of the

fashionable cut Zouave jackets of the hour did not disturb the faith of

the believers, fills us indeed with wonder.

The fame of the photographer spread throughout the "spiritual circles,"

and pilgrims to this spiritual Mecca came from remote parts of the land,

and before many months, caused no little excitement among some persons,

inclined to believe that the demonstrations were entirely produced by

human agency.

The demand for "spirit" pictures consequently increased, until the

operator was forced to raise his price to ten dollars, whenever

successful in obtaining a true "spirit-picture," or to be overwhelmed

with business that now interfered with his regular labors.

About this time the famous "Peace Conference" had been concluded by the

issue of Mr. Lincoln's celebrated letter, "To whom it may concern," and

William Cornell Jewett (with his head full of projects for restoring

peace to a suffering country) heard about the mysterious photographer,

and visited the operator.

"Sir," said he, "I must consult with the spirits of distinguished

statesmen. We need their counsel. This cruel war must stop. Brethren

slaying brethren, it is horrible, Sir. Can you show me John Adams? Can

you show me Daniel Webster? Let me look upon the features of Andrew

Jackson. I must see that noble, glorious, wise old statesman, Henry

Clay, whom I knew. Could you reproduce Stephen A. Douglas, with whom to

counsel at this crisis in our national affairs! I should like to meet

the great Napoleon. Such, here obtained, would increase my influence in

the political work that I have in hand."

In his own nervous, impetuous, excited way, Colorado Jewett continued to

urge upon the photographer the great importance of receiving such

communications, or some evidence that the spirits of our deceased

statesmen were watching over and counseling those who desire to re-unite

the two opposing forces, fighting against each other on the soil of a

common country.

With much caution, the photographer answered the questions presented.

Arranging the camera, he produced some indistinct figures, and then

concluded that the "conditions" were not sufficiently favorable to

attempt anything more before the next day. On the following morning,

Jewett appeared--nervous, garrulous, and excited at the prospect of

being in the presence of those great men, whose spirits he desired to

invoke. The apparatus was prepared; utter silence imposed, and for some

time the heart of the peace-seeker could almost be heard thumping within

the breast of him who sought supernatural aid, in his efforts to end our

cruel civil war. Then, overcome by his own thoughts, Jewett disturbed

the "conditions" by changing his position, and muttering short

invocations, addressed to the shades of those he wished to behold. The

operator finally declared he could not proceed, and postponed his

performance for that day. So, excuses were made, until the mental

condition of Mr. Jewett had reached that state which permitted the

photographer to expect the most complete success. Everything being

prepared, Jewett breathlessly awaited the expected presence. Quietly the

operator produced the spectral representation of the elder Adams. Jewett

scrutinized the plate, and expressed a silent wonder, accompanied, no

doubt, with some mental appeals addressed to the ancient statesman.

Then, writing the name of Webster upon a slip of paper, he passed it

over to the photographer, who gravely placed the scrap of writing upon

the camera, and presently drew therefrom the "ghost-like" but well

remembered features of the "Sage of Marshfield." Colorado Jewett was now

thoroughly impressed with the spiritual power producing these images;

and in ecstasy breathed a prayer that Andrew Jackson might appear to

lend his countenance to the conference he wished to hold with the mighty

dead. Jackson's well known features came out upon call, after due

manipulation of the proper instrument. "Glorious trio of departed

statesmen!" thought Jewett, "help us by your counsels in this the day of

our nation's great distress." Next Henry Clay's outline was faintly

shown from the tomb, and here the sitter remarked that he expected him.

After him came Stephen A. Douglas, and the whole affair was so entirely

satisfactory to Jewett, that, after paying fifty dollars for what he had

witnessed, he, the next day, implored the presence of George Washington,

offering fifty dollars more for a "spiritual" sight of the "Father of

our Country." This request smote upon the ear of the photographer like

an invitation to commit sacrilege. His reverence for the memory of

Washington was not to be disturbed by the tempting offer of so many

greenbacks. He could not allow the features of that great man to be used

in connection with an imposture perpetrated upon so deluded a fanatic as

Colorado Jewett. In short, the "conditions" were unfavorable for the

apparition of "General Washington;" and his visitor must remain

satisfied with the council of great men that had been called from the

spirit world to instill wisdom into the noddle of a foolish man on this

terrestrial planet. Having failed to obtain, by the agency of the

operator, a glimpse of Washington, Jewett clasped his hands together,

and sinking upon his knees, said, looking toward Heaven: "O spirit of

the immortal Washington! look down upon the warring elements that

convulse our country, and kindly let thy form appear, to lend its

influence toward re-uniting a nation convulsed with civil war!"

It is needless to say that this prayer was not answered. The spirit

would not come forth; and, although quieted by the explanations and half

promises of the photographer, the peace-messenger departed, convinced

that he had been in the presence of five great statesmen, and saddened

by the reflection that the shade of the immortal Washington had turned

away its face from those who had refused to follow the counsels he gave

while living.

Soon after this, Jewett ordered duplicates of these photographs to the

value of $20 more. I now have on exhibition in my Museum several of the

veritable portraits taken at this time, in which the well-known form and

face of Mr. Jewett are plainly depicted, and on one of which appears the

shade of Henry Clay, on another that of Napoleon the First, and on

others ladies supposed to represent deceased feminines of great

celebrity. It is said that Jewett sent one of the Napoleonic pictures to

the Emperor Louis Napoleon.

Not long after Colorado Jewett had beheld these wonderful pictures, and

worked himself up into the belief that he was surrounded by the great

and good statesmen of a former generation, a lady, without making

herself known, called upon the photographer. I am informed that she is

the wife of a distinguished official. She had heard of the success of

others, and came to verify their experience under her own bereavement.

Completely satisfied by the apparition exhibited, she asked for and

obtained a spectral photograph resembling her son, who, some months

previously, had gone to the spirit-land. It is said that the same lady

asked for and obtained a spiritual photograph of her brother, whom she

had recently heard was slain in battle; and when she returned home she

found him alive, and as well as could be expected under the

circumstances. But this did not shake her faith in the least. She simply

remarked that some evil spirit had assumed her brother's form in order

to deceive her. This is a very common method of spiritualists "digging

out" when the impositions of the "money-operators" are detected. This

same lady has recently given her personal influence in favor of the

"medium" Colchester, in Washington. One of these impressions bearing the

likeness of this distinguished lady was accidentally recognized by a

visitor. This capped the climax of the imposture and satisfied the

photographer that he was committing a grave injury upon society by

continuing to produce "spiritual pictures," and subsequently he refused

to lend himself to any more "manifestations" of this kind. He had

exhausted the fun.

I need only explain the modus operandi of effecting this illusion, to

make apparent to the most ignorant that no supernatural agency was

required to produce photographs bearing a resemblance to the persons

whose "apparition" was desired. The photographer always took the

precaution of inquiring about the deceased, his appearance and ordinary

mode of wearing the hair. Then, selecting from countless old "negatives"

the nearest resemblance, it was produced for the visitor, in dim,

ghostlike outline differing so much from anything of the kind ever

produced, that his customers seldom failed to recognize some lineament

the dead person possessed when living, especially if such relative had

deceased long since. The spectral illusions of Adams, Webster, Jackson,

Clay, and Douglas were readily obtained from excellent portraits of the

deceased statesmen, from which the scientific operator had prepared his

illusions for Colorado Jewett.

In placing before my readers this incident of "Spiritual Photography," I

can assure them that the facts are substantially as related; and I am

now in correspondence with gentlemen of wealth and position who have

signified their willingness to support this statement by affidavits and

other documents prepared for the purpose of opening the eyes of the

people to the delusions daily practised upon the ignorant and

superstitious.

CHAPTER XV.

BANNER OF LIGHT.--MESSAGES FROM THE DEAD.--SPIRITUAL CIVILITIES.--SPIRIT

"HOLLERING."--HANS VON VLEET, THE FEMALE DUTCHMAN.--MRS. CONANT'S

"CIRCLES."--PAINE'S TABLE-TIPPING HUMBUG EXPOSED.

"The Banner of Light," a weekly journal of romance, literature, and

general intelligence, published in Boston, is the principal organ of

spiritualism in this country. Its "general intelligence" is rather

questionable, though there is no doubt about its being a "journal of

romance," strongly tinctured with humbug and imposture. It has a

"Message Department," the proprietors of the paper claiming that "each

message in this department of the "Banner" was spoken by the spirit

whose name it bears, through the instrumentality of Mrs. J. H. Conant,

while in an abnormal condition called the trance."

I give a few specimens of these "messages." Thus, for instance,

discourseth the Ghost of Lolley:

"How do? Don't know me, do you? Know George Lolley? [Yes. How do

you do?] I'm first rate. I'm dead; ain't you afraid of me? You know

I was familiar with those sort of things, so I wasn't frightened to

go.

"Well, won't you say to the folks that I'm all right, and happy?

that I didn't suffer a great deal, had a pretty severe wound, got

over that all right; went out from Petersburg. I was in the battle

before Petersburg; got my discharge from there. Remember me kindly

to Mr. Lord.

"Well, tell 'em as soon as I get the wheels a little greased up and

in running order I'll come back with the good things, as I said I

would, George W. Lolley. Good-bye."

Immediately after a "message" from the spirit of John Morgan, the

guerrilla, came one from Charles Talbot, who began as follows with a

curious apostrophe to his predecessor:

"Hi-yah! old grisly. It's lucky for you I didn't get in ahead of

you.

"I am Charlie Talbot, of Chambersburg, Pa. Was wounded in action,

captured by the Rebels, and 'died on their hands' as they say of

the horse."

It seems a little rude for one "spirit" to term another "Old Grisly;"

but such may be the style of compliment prevailing in the spirit-world.

Here is what Brother Klink said:

"John Klink, of the Twenty-fifth South Carolina. I want to open

communication with Thomas Lefar, Charleston, S. C. I am deucedly

ignorant about this coming back--dead railroad--business. It's new

business to me, as I suppose it will be to some of you when you

travel this way. Say I will do the best I can to communicate with

my friends, if they will give me an opportunity. I desire Mr. Lefar

to send my letter to my family when he receives it--he knows where

they are--and then report to this office.

"Good night, afternoon or morning, I don't know which. I walked out

at Petersburg."

Here is a message from George W. Gage, with some of the questions which

he answered:

"[How do you like your new home?] First rate. I likes--heigho!--I

likes to come here, for they clears all the truck away before you

get round, and fix up so you can talk right off. [Wasn't you a

medium?] No, Sir; I wasn't afraid, though; nor my mother ain't,

either. Oh, I knew about it; I knew before I come to die, about it.

My mother told me about it. I knew I'd be a woman when I come here,

too. [Did you?] Yes, sir; my mother told me, and said I musn't be

afraid. Oh, I don't likes that, but I likes to come.

"I forgot, Sir; my mother's deaf, and always had to holler. That

gentleman says folks ain't deaf here."

The observable points are first that he seems to have excused his

"hollering" by the habits consequent upon his mother's deafness. The

"hollering" consisted of unusually heavy thumping, I suppose. But the

second point is of far greater interest. George intimates that he has

changed his "sect," and become a woman! For this important alteration

his good mother had prepared his mind. This style of thing will not seem

so strange if we consider that some men become old women before they

die!

Here is another case of feminification and restitution combined. Hans

Von Vleet has become a vrow--what you may call a female Dutchman! It has

always been claimed that women are purer and better than men; and

accordingly we see that as soon as Hans became a woman he insisted on

his widow's returning to a Jew two thousand dollars that naughty Hans

had "Christianed" the poor Hebrew out of. But let Hans tell his own

story:

"I was Hans Von Vleet ven I vas here. I vas Von Vleet here; I is

one vrow now. I is one vrow ven I comes back; I vas no vrow ven I

vas here (alluding to the fact that he was temporarily occupying

the form of our medium.) I wish you to know that I first live in

Harlem, State of New York. Ven I vos here, I take something I had

no right to take, something that no belongs to me. I takes

something; I takes two thousand dollars that was no my own; that's

what I come back to say about. I first have some dealings with one

Jew; that's what you call him. He likes to Jew me, and I likes to

Christian him. I belongs to the Dutch Reform Church. (Do you think

you were a good member?) Vell, I vas. I believes in the creed; I

takes the sacrament; I lives up to it outside. I no lives up to it

inside, I suppose. (How do you find yourself now, Hans?) Vell, I

finds myself--vell, I don't know; I not feel very happy. Ven I

comes to the spirit-land, I first meet that Jew's brother, and he

tells me, 'Hans, you mus go back and makes some right with my

brother.' So I comes here.

"I vants my vrow, what I left in Harlem, to takes that two tousand

dollars and gives it back to that Jew's vrow. That's what I came

for to-day, Sir. (Has your vrow got it?) Vell, my vrow has got it

in a tin box. Ven I first go, I takes the money, I gives it to my

vrow, and she takes care of it. Now I vants my vrow to give that

two tousand dollars to that Jew's vrow.

"(How do you spell your name?) The vrow knows how to spell. (Hans

Von Vleet.) There's a something you cross in it. The vrow spells

the rest. Ah, that's wrong; you makes a blunder. Its V. not F.

That's like all vrows. (Do all vrows make blunders?) Vell, I don't

know; all do sometimes, I suppose. (Didn't you like vrows here?)

Oh, vell, I likes 'em sometimes. I likes mine own vrow. I not likes

to be a vrow myself. (Don't the clothes fit?) Ah, vell, I suppose

they fits, but I not likes to wear what not becomes me."

It is scarcely necessary to make comments on such horrible nonsense as

this. I may recur to the subject in future, should it appear expedient.

At present I must drop the subject of female men.

At the head of the "Message Department" is a standing advertisement,

which reads as follows:

"Our free circles are held at No. 158 Washington street, Room No. 4

(up stairs,) on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday afternoons. The

circle-room will be open for visitors at two o'clock; services

commence at precisely three o'clock, after which time no one will

be admitted. Donations solicited."

On the days and at the hour mentioned in the above advertisement, quite

an audience assembles to hear the messages Mrs. C. may have to deliver.

If a stranger present should request a message from one of his

spirit-friends, he would be told that a large number of spirits were

seeking to communicate through that "instrument," and each must await

his turn! Having read obituary notices in the files of old newspapers,

and the published list of those recently killed in battle, the medium

has data for any number of "messages." She talks in the style that she

imagines the person whom she attempts to personate would use, being one

of the doctrines of spiritualism that a person's character and feelings

are not changed by death. To make the humbug more complete, she narrates

imaginary incidents, asserting them to have occurred in the

earth-experience of the spirit who purports to have possession of her at

the same time she is speaking. Mediums in various parts of the country

furnish her with the names of and facts relative to different deceased

people of their acquaintance, and those names and facts are used by her

in supplying the "Message Department" of the "Banner of Light."

If the assumed "mediumship" of this woman was not an imposture, some of

the many people who have visited her for the purpose of getting

communications from their spirit-friends would have been gratified. In

most of the "messages" published in the Banner, the spirits purporting

to give them, express a great desire to have their mortal friends

receive them; but those mortals who seek to obtain through Mrs. Conant

satisfactory messages from their spirit-friends, are not gratified--the

medium not being posted. The mediums are as much opposed to "new tests"

as a non-committal politician.

Time and again have leading spiritualists, in various parts of the

country, indorsed as "spiritual manifestations," what was subsequently

proved to be an imposture.

Several years ago, a man by the name of Paine created a great sensation

in Worcester, Mass., by causing a table to move "without contact," he

claiming that it was done by spirits through his "mediumship." He

subsequently came to New York, and exhibited the "manifestation" at the

house of a spiritualist--where he boarded--in the upper part of the

city. A great many spiritualists and not a few "skeptics" went to see

his performance. Paine was a very soft-spoken, "good sort of a fellow,"

and appeared to be quite sincere in his claims to "mediumship." He

received no fee from those who witnessed his exhibition; and that fact,

in connection with others, tended to disarm people of suspicion. His

seances were held in the evening, and each visitor was received by him

at the door, and immediately conducted to a seat next the wall of the

room.

The visitors all in and seated, Mr. Paine took a seat with the rest in

the "circle." In the middle of the room a small table had previously

been placed, and the gas had been turned partly off, leaving just enough

light to make objects look ghostly.

In order to get "harmonized," singing was indulged in for a short time

by members of the "circle." Soon a number of raps would be heard in the

direction of the table, and one side of that piece of furniture would be

seen to rise about an inch from the floor. Some very naturally wanted to

rush to the table and investigate the matter more closely, but Paine

forbade that--the necessary "conditions" must be observed, he said, or

there would be no further manifestation of spirit-power. As there was no

one nearer to the table than six or eight feet, the fact of its moving,

very naturally astonished the skeptics present. Several "seeing mediums"

who attended Mr. Paine's seances, were able to see the spirits--so they

declared--who moved the table. One was described as a "big Injun," who

cut various capers, and appeared to be much delighted with the turn of

affairs. Believers were wonderfully well-pleased to know that at last a

medium was "developed" through whom the inhabitants of another world

could manifest their presence to mortals in such a way that no one could

gainsay the fact. The "invisibles" freely responded, by raps on the

table, to various questions asked by those in the "circle." They thumped

time to lively tunes, and seemed to have a decidedly good time of it in

their particular way. When the seance was concluded, Mr. Paine freely

permitted an examination of his table.

In the Sunday Spiritual Conferences, then held in Clinton Hall, leading

spiritualists gave an account of the "manifestations of the spirits"

through Mr. Paine, and, as believers, congratulated themselves upon the

existence of such "indubitable facts." The spiritualist in whose house

this exhibition of table-moving "without contact" took place, was well

known as a man of strict honesty; and it was reasonably presumed that no

mechanical contrivance could be used without his cognizance, in thus

moving a piece of his furniture--for the table belonged to him--and that

he would countenance a deception was out of the question.

There were in the city three gentlemen who had, for some time, been

known as spiritualists; but they were, at the period of Paine's debut as

a medium in New York, very skeptical with regard to "physical

manifestations." They had, a short time before, detected the Davenports

and other professed mediums in the practice of imposture; and they

determined not to accept, as true, Paine's pretence to mediumship, till

after a thorough investigation of his "manifestations," they should fail

to find a material cause for them. After attending several of his

seances, these gentlemen concluded that Paine moved the table by means

of a mechanical contrivance fixed under the floor. One of this trio of

investigators was a mechanic, and he had conceived a way--and it seemed

to him the only way--in which the "manifestation" could be produced

under the circumstances that apparently attended it. Paine was a

mechanic, and these parties were aware of that fact. They made an

appointment with him for a private seance. The evening fixed upon,

having arrived, they met with him at his room. The table was raised and

raps were made upon it, as had been done on previous occasions. One of

the three investigators stepped to the door of the room, locked it, put

the key in his pocket, took off his coat, and told Mr. Paine that he was

determined to search his (Paine's) person, and that if he did not find

about him a small short iron rod, by means of which, through a hole in

the floor, a lever underneath was worked in moving the table, he (the

speaker) would beg his (Mr. Paine's) pardon, and be forever after a firm

believer in the power of disembodied spirits to move ponderable bodies.

This impressive little speech had a decided and instant effect upon the

"medium." "Gentlemen," said the latter, "I might as well own up. Please

to be quietly seated, and I will tell you all about it." And he did tell

them all about it; subsequently repeating his confession before quite a

number of disgusted and cheaply sold spiritualists at the "New York

Spiritual Lyceum." The theory formed by one of the three investigators

referred to, as to Paine's method of moving the table, was singularly

correct.

Whilst the family with whom Paine boarded was away, one day, in

attendance at a funeral, he took up several of the floor boards of the

back parlor, and on the under side of them affixed a lever, with a

cross-piece at one end of it; and, in the ends of the cross-piece, bits

of wire were inserted, the wire being just as far apart as the legs of

the table to be moved. Small holes were made in the floor-boards for the

wire to come through to reach the table-legs. The other end of the lever

came within an inch or two of the wall. When all the arrangements were

completed, and the table being properly placed in order to move it, Mr.

Paine had only to insert one end of a short iron rod in a hole in the

heel of his boot, put the other end of the rod through a hole in the

floor, just under the edge of the carpet near the wall, and then press

the rod down upon the end of the lever.

The movements necessary in fixing the iron rod to its place were

executed while he was picking up his handkerchief, that he had purposely

dropped.

The middle of the lever was attached to the floor, and the end with the

cross-piece, being the heavier, brought the other end close up against

the floor, the wires in the cross-piece having their points just within

the bottom of the holes in the floor. The room was carpeted, and there

were little marks on the carpet, known only to Paine, that enabled him

to know just where to place the table. Pressing down the end of the

lever nearest the wall, an inch would bring the wires in the cross-piece

on the other end of the lever against the legs of the table, and

slightly raise the latter. One of the wires would strike the table-leg a

very little before the other did, and that enabled the "medium" to very

nicely rap time to the tunes that were sung or played. Of course, no

holes that any one could observe would be made in the carpet by the

passage of the wires through it.

For appearance' sake, Paine, before his detection, visited, by

invitation, the houses of several different spiritualists, for the

purpose of holding seances; but he never got a table to move "without

contact" in any other than the place where he had properly prepared the

conditions.

CHAPTER XVI.

SPIRITUALIST HUMBUGS WAKING UP.--FOSTER HEARD FROM.--S. B. BRITTAN HEARD

FROM.--THE BOSTON ARTISTS AND THEIR SPIRITUAL PORTRAITS.--THE WASHINGTON

MEDIUM AND HIS SPIRITUAL HANDS.--THE DAVENPORT BROTHERS AND THE

SEA-CAPTAIN'S WHEAT-FLOUR.--THE DAVENPORT BROTHERS ROUGHLY SHOWN UP BY

JOHN BULL.--HOW A SHINGLE "STUMPED" THE SPIRITS.

I hear from spiritualists sometimes. These gentry are much exercised in

their minds by my letters about them, and some of them fly out at me

very much as bumble-bees do at one who stirs up their nest. For

instance, I received, not long ago, from my good friends, Messrs.

Cauldwell & Whitney, an anonymous letter to them, dated at Washington,

and suggesting that if I would attend what the latter calls "a seance of

that celebrated humbug, Foster," I should see something that I could not

explain. Now, this anonymous letter, as I know by a spiritual

communication, (or otherwise,) is in a handwriting very wonderfully like

that of Mr. Foster himself. And as for the substance of it, it is very

likely that Foster has now gotten up some new tricks. He needs them. The

exhibiting mediums must, of course, contrive new tricks as fast as Dr.

Von Vleck and men like him show up their old ones. It is the universal

method of all sorts of impostors to adopt new means of fooling people

when their old ones are exposed. And Mr. Foster shall have all the

attention he wants if I ever find the leisure to bestow on him, though

my time is fully occupied with worthier objects.

I have also been complimented with a buzz and an attempt to sting from

my old friend S. B. Brittan, the ex-Universalist minister--the very

surprisingly efficient "man Friday" of Andrew Jackson Davis, in the

production of the "Revelations" of the said Davis, and also

ghost-fancier in general; who has gently aired part of his vocabulary in

a communication to the "Banner of Light," with the heading "Exposed for

Two Shillings." I can afford very well to expose friend Brittan and his

spiritualist humbugs for two shillings. The honester the cheaper. It

evidently vexes the spiritualists to have their ghosts put with the

monkeys in the Museum. They can't help it, though; and it is my

deliberate opinion that the monkeys are much the most respectable. I

have no wish to displease any honest person; but the more the

spiritualists squirm, and snarl, and scold, and call names, the more

they show that I am hurting them. Or--does my friend Brittan himself

want an engagement at the Museum? Will he produce some "manifestations"

there, and get that $500?--the money is ready!

A valued friend of mine has furnished me a pleasant and true narrative

of a fine "spiritual" humbug which took place in a respectable

Massachusetts village not very long ago. I give the story in his own

graphic words:

"Two artists of Boston, tired of the atmosphere of their studios,

resolved themselves, in joint session, into spiritual mediums, as a

means of raising the wind--or the devil--and of getting a little fresh

air in the rural districts. One of them had learned Mansfield's trick of

answering communications and that of writing on the arms. They had large

handbills printed, announcing that "Mr. W. Howard, the celebrated

test-medium, would visit the town of ----, and would remain at the ----

Hotel during three days." One of the artists preceded the other by a few

hours, engaged rooms, and attended to sundry preliminaries. "Mr. Howard"

donned a white choker, put his hair behind his ears, and mounted a pair

of plain glass spectacles; and such was his profoundly spiritual

appearance on entering his apartments at the hotel, that he had to lock

the door and give his partner opportunity to explode, and absolutely

roll about on the floor with laughter.

"Well, they rigged a clothes-horse for a screen; and to heighten the

effect, the assistant, who was expert in portraiture, covered this

screen, and, indeed, the walls of the room, with scraggy outlines of the

human countenance upon large sheets of paper. These, they said, were

executed by the draftsman, whose right hand, when under spiritual

influence, uncontrollably jerked off these likenesses. They added, that

the spirits had given information that, before the mediums left town,

the people would recognize these pictures as likenesses of persons there

deceased within twenty years or so. Price, two dollars each! They

absolutely sold quite a large number of these portraits, as they were

from time to time recognized by surviving friends! The operation of

drawing portraits was also illustrated at certain hours, admission,

fifty cents; if not satisfactory, the money returned.

"Other tricks of various kinds were performed with pleasure to all

parties and profit to the performers. The artists stood it as long as

they could, and then departed. But there was every indication that the

towns-people would have stood it until this day."

Thus far my friend's curious and truthful account.

A little while ago, there was exhibiting, at Washington, a "test-medium"

whose name I would print, were it not that I do not want to advertise

him. One of his most impressive feats was, to cause spiritual hands and

other parts of the human frame to appear in the air a la Davenport

Brothers. A gentleman, whose name I also know very well indeed, but have

particular reasons for not mentioning, went one day to see this

"test-medium," along with a friend, and asked to see a hand.

"Certainly," the medium said; and the room was darkened, and the

"circle" made round the table in the usual manner. After about five

minutes, my friend, who had contrived to place himself pretty near the

medium, saw, sure enough, a dim glimmering blue light in the air, a foot

or so before and above the head of the medium. In a minute, he could

see, dimly outlined in this blue light, the form of a hand, back toward

him, fingers together, and no thumb.

"Why is no thumb visible?" asked my friend of the medium in a solemn

manner.

"The reason is," said the medium, still more solemnly, "that the spirits

have not power enough to produce a whole hand and so they exhibit as

much as they can."

"And do they always show hands without thumbs?"

"Yes."

Here my friend, with a sudden jump, grabbed for the place where the

wrist of the mysterious hand ought to be. Strange to relate, he caught

it, and held it stoutly, to. A light was quickly had, when, still

stranger, the spirit-hand was clearly seen to be the fleshy paw of the

medium--and a fat paw it was too. Mr. Medium took the matter with the

coolness of a thorough rascal, and, lighting a cigar, merely observed:

"Well gentlemen, you needn't trouble yourselves to come here any more!"

He also insisted on his usual fee of five dollars, until threatened with

a prosecution for swindling.

The secret of this worthy gentleman is simple and soon told. Holding one

hand up in the air, he held up with the other, between the thumb and

finger, a little pinch of phosphorus and bi-sulphide of carbon, which

gave the blue light. If inconvenient to hold up the other hand, he had a

reserve pinch of blue-light under that invisible thumb. It is a curious

instance of the thorough credulity of genuine spiritualists that a

believer in this wretched rogue, on being circumstantially told this

whole story, not only steadily and firmly refused to credit it, and

continued his faith in the fellow, but absolutely would not go to see

the application of any other test. That's the sort of follower that is

worth having!

Another case was witnessed as follows, by the very same person on whose

authority I give the spirit-hand story. He was present--also, this time

in Washington, as it happened, at an exhibition by a certain pair of

spiritual brothers, since well known as the "Davenport Brothers."

These chaps, after the fashion of their kind, caused themselves to be

tied up in a rope, an old sea-captain tying them. This done, their

"shop" or cabinet, was shut upon them as usual, and the bangs, throwing

of sticks, etc., through a window, and the like, took place. Well, this

sly and inconvenient old sea-captain now slipped out of the hall a few

minutes, and came back with some wheat flour. Having tied up the

"brothers" again, he remarked:

"Now, gentlemen, please to take, each, your two hands full of wheat

flour."

The "brothers" got mad and flatly refused. Then they cooled down and

argued, saying it wouldn't make any difference, and was of no use.

"Well," said the ancient mariner, "if it won't make any difference you

can just as well do it, can't you?"

The audience, seeing the point, were so evidently pleased with the old

sailor, that the grumbling "brothers" though with a very bad grace, took

their fists full of flour, and were shut up.

There was not the least sign of a "manifestation"--no more than if the

wheat-flour had shot the "brothers" dead in their tracks. The audience

were immensely delighted. The "brothers," since that time, have learned

to perform some tricks with flour in their fists, but only when tied by

their own friends.

Since these facts came to my knowledge, the Davenport Brothers have

suffered an unpleasant exposure in Liverpool, in England, the details of

which have been kindly forwarded to me by attentive friends there. The

circumstances in question occurred on the evenings of Tuesday and

Wednesday, February 14 and 15, 1865. On the first of these evenings, a

gentleman named Cummins, selected by the audience as one of the Tying

Committee, tied one of the Brothers, and a Mr. Hulley, the other

committee-man, the other. But the Brothers saw instantly that they could

not wriggle out of these knots. They, therefore, refused to let the

tying be finished, saying that it was "brutal" although a surgeon

present said it was not; one tied brother was untied by Ferguson, the

agent; and then the Brothers went to work and performed their various

tricks without the supervision of any committee, but amid a constant

fire of derision, laughter, groans, shouts, and epithets from the

audience. On the next evening, the audience insisted on having the same

committee; the Brothers were very reluctant to allow it, but had to do

so after a long time. Ira Davenport refused again, however, instantly to

be tied, as soon as he saw what knot Mr. Cummins was going to use.

Cummins, however, though Ira squirmed most industriously, got him tied

fast, and then Ira called to Ferguson to cut the knot! Ferguson did so,

and cut Ira's hand. Ira now shewed the blood to the audience, and the

Brothers, with an immense pretense of indignation, went off the stage.

Cummins at once explained; the audience became disgusted, and, enraged

at the impudence of the imposture, broke over the foot-lights, knocked

Ferguson backward into the "cabinet;" and when the discomfited agent had

scrambled out and run away, smashed the thing fairly into

kindling-wood, and carried it off, all distributed into splinters and

chips. Early next morning, the terrified Davenports ran away out of

Liverpool; and a number of the audience were, at last accounts,

intending to go to law to get back the money paid for an exhibition

which they did not see.

The very thorough exposure of the Davenports thus made is an additional

proof--if such were needed--of the truth of what I have alleged about

the impostures perpetrated by them and their "mysterious" brethren of

the exhibiting sort.

Once the "spirits" were "stumped" with a shingle--a very proper yankee

jaw-bone of an ass to route such disembodied Philistines. One day a

certain person was present where some tables were rambling about, and

other revolutions taking place in the furniture-business, when he

stepped boldly forth like a herald bearing defiance, and cast down a

common white pine shingle upon the floor. "There," said he, coolly, "if

you can trot those tables about in that style, do it with that shingle.

Make it go about the room. Make it move an inch!" And lo, and behold!

the shingle lay perfectly still.

CHAPTER XVII.

THE DAVENPORT BROTHERS SHOWN UP ONCE MORE.--DR. NEWTON AT CHICAGO.--THE

SPIRITUALIST BOGUS BABY.--A LADY BRINGS FORTH A MOTIVE FORCE.--"GUM"

ARABIC.--SPIRITUALIST HEBREW.--THE ALLEN BOY.--DR. RANDALL.--PORTLAND

EVENING COURIER.--THE FOOLS NOT ALL DEAD YET.

Other "spiritual" facts have come to my hand, some of them furnishing

additional details about persons to whom I have already alluded, and

others being important to illustrate some general tendencies of

spiritualism.

And first, about the Davenport Brothers; they have met with another

"awful exposure," at the hands of a merciless Mr. Addison. This

gentleman is a London stockbroker, and his cool, sharp business habits

seem to have stood him in good stead in taking some fun out of the fools

who follow the Davenports. Mr. Addison, it seems, went to work, and,

just to amuse his friends, executed all the Davenport tricks. Upon this

the spiritualist newspapers in England, which, like the Boston Herald of

Progress, claim to believe in the "Brothers," came out and said that

Addison was a very wonderful medium indeed. On this the cold-blooded

Addison at once printed a letter, in which he not only said he had done

all their tricks without spiritual aid, but he moreover explained

exactly how he caught the Davenports in their impositions. He and a

long-legged friend went to one of the "dark seances" of the Davenports,

during which musical instruments were to fly about over the heads of the

audience, bang their pates, thrum, twang, etc. Addison and his friend

took a front seat; as soon as the lights were put out they put out their

legs too; stretching as far as possible; and, to use the unfeeling

language of Mr. Addison, they "soon had the satisfaction of feeling some

one falling over them." They then caught hold of an arm, from which a

guitar was forthwith let drop on the floor. In order to be certain who

the guitar-carrier was, they waited until the next time the lights were

put out, took each a mouthful of dry flour, and blew it out right among

the "manifestations." When the lamps were lighted, lo and behold! there

was Fay, the agent and manager of the Davenports, with his back all

powdered with flour. Addison showed this to an acquaintance, who said,

"Yes, he saw the flour; but he could not understand what made Addison

and his friend laugh so excessively at it."

The spiritualist newspapers don't think Addison is so great a medium as

they did!

Great accounts have recently come eastward from Chicago, of a certain

Doctor Newton, who is said to be working miracles by the hundred in the

way of healing diseases. This man operates with exactly the weapons all

the miracle-workers, quacks, and impostors, ancient and modern use. All

of them have appealed to the imaginations of their patients, and no

person acquainted with mental philosophy is ignorant that many a sick

man has been cured either by medicine and imagination together, or by

imagination alone. Therefore, even if this Newton should really be the

cause of the recovery of some persons from their ailments, it would be

no more a miracle than if Dr. Mott should do it; nor would Newton be any

the less a quack and a humbug.

Newton has operated at the East already. He had a career at New Haven

and Hartford, and in other places, before he steered westward in the

wake of the "Star of Empire." What he does is simply to ask what is the

matter, and where it hurts. Then he sticks his thumb into the seat of

the difficulty, or he pokes or strokes or pats it, as the case may be.

Then he says, "There--you're cured! God bless you!--Take yourself off!"

Chicago must be a credulous place, for we are informed of immense crowds

besieging this man, and undergoing his manipulations. One of the Chicago

papers, having little faith and a good deal of fun--which in such cases

is much better--published some burlesque stories and certificates about

"Doctor" Newton, some of them humorous enough. There is a certificate

from a woman with fourteen children, all having the measles at once. She

says that no sooner had Doctor Newton received one lock of hair of one

of them, than the measles left them all, and she now has said measles

corked up in a bottle! Another case was that of a merchant who had lost

his strength, but went and was stroked by Newton, and the very next day

was able to lift a note in bank, which had before been altogether too

heavy for him. There was also an old lady, whose story I fear was

imitated from Hood's funny conceit of the deaf woman who bought an

ear-trumpet, which was so effective that

----"The very next day

She heard from her husband in Botany Bay!"

The Chicago old lady in like manner, after having had Doctor Newton's

thumbs "jobbed" into her ears, certifies that she heard next morning

from her son in California.

One would think that this ridicule would put the learned Dr. Newton to

flight; but it will not until he is through with the fools.

I have already given an account of some of the messages from the other

world in the "Banner of Light," in which some of the spirits explain

that they have turned into women since they died. This is by no means

the first remarkable trick that the spirits have performed upon the

human organization. Here is what they did at High Rock, in

Massachusetts, a number of years ago. It beats Joanna Southcott in funny

absurdity, if not in blasphemy.

At High Rock, in the year 1854 or thereabouts, certain spiritualist

people were building some mysterious machinery. While this was in

process of erection, a female medium, of considerable eminence in those

parts, was informed by certain spirits, with great solemnity and pomp,

that "she would become the Mary of a new dispensation;" that is, she was

going to be a mother. Well, this was all proper, no doubt, and the lady

herself--so say the spiritualist accounts--had for some time experienced

indications that she was pregnant. These indications continued, and

became increasingly obvious, and also, it was observed, a little queer

in some particulars.

After a while, one Spear--a "Reverend Mr. Spear"--who was mixed up, it

appears, with the machinery-part of the business, and who was a medium

himself, transmitted to the lady a request from the spirits that she

would visit said Spear at High Rock on a certain day. She did so, of

course; and while there was unexpectedly taken with the pains of

childbirth, which the spiritualist authorities say, were

"internal"--where should they be, pray?--and "of the spirit rather than

of the physical nature; but were, nevertheless, quite as uncontrollable

as those of the latter, and not less severe." The labor proceeded. It

lasted two hours. As it went on, lo and behold! one part and another

part of the machinery began to move! And when, at the end of the two

hours, the parturition was safely over, all the machinery was going!

The lady had given birth to a Motive Force. Does anybody suppose I am

manufacturing this story? Not a bit of it. It is all told at length in a

book published by a spiritualist; and probably a good many of my readers

will remember about it.

Well, the baby had to be nursed--fact! This superhumanly silly female

actually went through the motions of nursing the motive force for some

weeks. Though how the thing sucked--Excuse me, ladies; I would not

discuss such delicate subjects did not the interests of truth require

it.

If I had been the physician, at any rate, I think I should have

recommended to hire a healthy female steam-engine for a wet nurse to

this young motive force; say a locomotive, for instance. I feel sure the

thing would have lived if it could have had a gauge-faucet or something

of that sort to draw on. But the medical folks in charge chose to permit

the mother to nurse the child, and she not being able to supply proper

nutriment, the poor little innocent faded--if that word be appropriate

for what couldn't be seen,--and finally "gin eout;" and the machinery,

after some abortive joggles and turns, stood hopelessly still.

This story is true--that is, it is true that the story was told, the

pretences were gone through, and the birth was actually believed by a

good many people. Some of them were prodigiously enthusiastic about it,

and called the invisible brat the New Motive Power, the Physical Savior,

Heaven's Last Best Gift to Man, the New Creation, the Great Spiritual

Revelation of the Age, the Philosopher's Stone, the Act of all Acts, and

so on, and so forth.

The great question of all was, Who was the daddy? I don't know of

anybody's asking this question, but its importance is extreme and

obvious. For if things like this are going to happen, the ladies will be

afraid to sleep alone in the house if so much as a sewing-machine or

apple-corer be about, and will not dare take solitary walks along any

stream where there is a water power.

A couple of miscellaneous anecdotes may not inappropriately be appended

to this story of monstrous delusion.

Once a "writing medium" was producing sentences in various foreign

languages. One of these was Arabic. An enthusiastic youth, a

half-believer, after inspecting the wondrous scroll, handed it to his

seat-mate, a professor (as it happened) in one of our oldest colleges,

and a man of real learning. The professor scrutinized the document. What

was the youth's delight to hear him at last observe gravely, "It is a

kind of Arabic, sure enough!"

"What kind?" asked the young man with intense interest.

"Gum-arabic," said the professor.

The spirit of the prophet Daniel came one night into the apartment of a

medium named Fowler, and right before his eyes, he said, wrote down some

marks on a piece of paper. These were shown to the Reverend George Bush,

Professor of Hebrew in the New-York University, who said that they were

"a few verses from the last chapter of Daniel" and were learnedly

written. Bush was a spiritualist as well as a professor of Hebrew, and

he ought to have known better than to indorse spirit-Hebrew; for shortly

there came others, who, to use a rustic phrase, "took the rag off the

Bush." These inconvenient personages were three or four persons of

learning: one a Jew, who proved that the document was an attempt to copy

the verses in question, by some one so ignorant of Hebrew as not to know

that it is written backward, that is, from right to left.

During the last few months, a "boy medium," by the name of Henry B.

Allen, thirteen years of age, has been astonishing people in various

parts of the country by "Physical Manifestations in the Light." The

exhibitions of this precocious youngster have been "managed" by a Dr.

Randall, who also lectures upon Spiritualism, expounding its "beautiful

philosophy." For a number of weeks this couple held forth in Boston,

sometimes giving several seances during the day, not more than thirty

being allowed to attend at one time, each of whom were required to pay

an admission fee of one dollar.

"The Banner of Light" fully indorsed this Allen boy, and gave lengthy

accounts of his manifestations. The arrangements for his exhibition were

very simple. A dulcimer, guitar, bell, and small drum being placed on a

sofa or several chairs set against the wall, a clothes-horse was set in

front of them and covered with a blanket, which came to the floor. To

obtain "manifestations," a person was required to take off his coat and

sit with his back to the clothes-horse. The medium then took a seat

close to, and facing the investigator's left side, and grasped the left

arm of the latter on the under side, above the elbow, with his (the

medium's) right hand and near the wrist with the other hand. The

"manager" then covered with a coat, the arms and left shoulder of the

medium including the left arm of the investigator. The medium soon

commenced to wriggle and twist--the "manager" said he was always nervous

under "influence"--and worked the coat away from the position in which

it had been placed. Taking his right hand from the investigator's arm,

he readjusted the coat, and availed himself of that opportunity to get

the investigator's wrist between his (the medium's) left arm and knee.

That brought his left hand in such a position that with it he could

grasp the investigator's arm where he had previously grasped it with his

right hand. With the latter he could then reach around the edge of the

clothes-horse and make a noise on the instruments. With the drumsticks

he thumped on the dulcimer. Taking the guitar by the neck, he could

vibrate the strings and show the body of the instrument above the

clothes-horse, without any one seeing his hand! All persons present were

so seated that they could not see behind the clothes-horse, or have a

view of the medium's right shoulder. When asked why people were not

allowed to occupy such a position, that they could have a fair view of

the instruments when sounded, the "manager" replied that he did not

exactly know, but presumed it was because the magnetic emanations from

the eyes of the beholders would prevent the spirits being able to move

the instruments at all! What was claimed to be a spirit-hand was often

shown above the clothes-horse, where it flickered for an instant and was

withdrawn; but it was invariably a right hand with the wrist toward the

medium. When the person sitting with the medium was asked if the hands

of the latter had constantly hold of his arm, he replied in the

affirmative. Of course, he felt what he supposed to be both the medium's

hands; but as I before explained, the pressure on his wrist was from the

medium's left arm--the left hand of whom, by means of a very

accommodating crook in the elbow, was grasping the investigator's arm

where the medium's right hand was supposed to be.

From Boston the Allen boy went to Portland, Maine, where he succeeded

"astonishingly," till some gentleman applied the lampblack test to his

assumed mediumship, whereupon he "came to grief."

The following is copied from the "Portland Daily Press," of March 21.

"EXPOSED.--The 'wonderful' spiritual manifestations of the

'boy-medium,' Master Henry B. Allen, in charge of Doctor J. H.

Randall, of Boston, were brought to a sad end last evening by the

impertinent curiosity and wicked doings of some of the gentlemen

present at the seance at Congress Hall.

"As usual, one of the company present was selected to sit at the

side of the boy, and allowed his hand and arm to be held by both

hands of the boy while the manifestations were going on. The boy

seized hold of the gentleman's wrist with his left hand, and his

shoulder, or near it, with the right hand. The manifestations then

began, and among them was one trick of pulling the gentleman's

hair.

"Immediately after this trick was performed, the hand of the boy

was discovered to be very black--from lamp-black, of the best

quality, with which the gentleman had dressed his head on purpose

to detect whose was the 'spirit-hand' that pulled his hair. His

shirt-sleeve, upon which the boy immediately replaced his hand

after pulling his hair, was also black where the hand had been

placed. The gentleman stated the facts to the company present, and

the seance broke up. Dr. Randall refunded the fifty cents admission

fee to those present."

The spiritualists of the city were somewhat staggered by this expose,

but soon rallied as one of their number announced a new discovery in

spiritual science. Here it is, as stated by himself:

"Whatever the electrical or 'spirit-hand' touches, will inevitably be

transferred to the hand of the medium in every instance, unless

something occurs to prevent the full operation of the law by which this

result is produced. The spirit-hand being composed in part of the

magnetic elements drawn from the medium, when it is dissolved again, and

the magnetic fluid returns whence it came, it must of necessity carry

with it whatever material substance it has touched, and leave it

deposited upon the surface or material hand of the medium. This is a

scientific question. How many innocent mediums have been wronged? and

the invisible have permitted it, until we should discover that it was

the natural result of a natural law."

What a great discovery! and how lucidly it is set forth! The author

(who, by the way, is editor of the "Portland Evening Courier") of this

new discovery, was not so modest but that he hastened to announce and

claim full credit for it in the columns of the "Banner of Light"--the

editor of which journal congratulates him on having done so much for the

cause of spiritualism! Those skeptics who were present when the

lamp-black was "transferred" from the gentleman's hair to the medium's

hand, rashly concluded that the boy was an impostor. It remained for Mr.

Hall--that is the philosopher's name--to make the "electro-magnetic

transfer" discovery. The Allen boy ought ever to hold him in grateful

remembrance for coming to his rescue at such a critical period, when the

spirits would not vouchsafe an explanation that would exculpate him from

the grievous charge of imposture. Mr. Hall deserves a leather medal now,

and a soapstone monument when he is dead.

A person, whose initials are the same as the gentleman's named above,

once lived in Aroostook, Maine, and was in the habit of attending

"spiritual circles," in which he was sometimes influenced as a

"personating medium," and to represent the symptoms of the disease which

caused the controlling spirit's translation to another sphere. It having

been reported in Aroostook that a certain well-known individual, living

further east, had died of cholera, a desire was expressed at the next

"circle" to have him "manifest" himself. The medium above referred to

got "under influence," and personated, with an exhibition of all the

symptoms of cholera, the gentleman who was reported to have died of that

disease. So faithful to the supposed facts was the representation, that

the medium had to be cared for as if he was himself a veritable

cholera-patient. Several days after, the man who was "personated"

appeared in Aroostook, alive and well, never having been attacked with

the cholera. The local papers gave a graphic account of the

"manifestation" soon after it occurred.

But to return to the Allen boy. After his exposure by means of the

lamp-black test, and Mr. Hall, of the "Portland Evening Courier," had

announced his new discovery in spiritual science, several of the

Portland spiritualists had a private "sitting" with the boy. While he

sat with his hands upon the arm of one of their number, they tied a rope

to his wrists, and around the person's arm, covering his hands in the

way I have before described. After some wriggling and twisting (the

usual amount of "nervousness,") the bell was heard to ring behind the

clothes-horse. The boy's right hand was then examined, and it was found

to be stained with some colored matter that had previously been put upon

the handle of the bell. As the boy's wrists were still tied, and the

rope remained upon the man's arm, the "transfer" theory was considered

to be established as a fact, and the previous exposure shown to be not

only no exposure at all, but a "stepping-stone to a grand truth in

spiritual science." Again and again did these persistent and infatuated

spiritualists try what they call the "transfer test," varying with each

experiment the coloring-material used, and every time the bell was rung

the medium's right hand was found out to be stained with what had been

put upon the bell-handle. By having a little slack-rope between his

wrist and the man's arm, it was not a difficult matter for the medium,

while his "nervousness" was being manifested, to get hold of the bell

and ring it, and to make sounds upon the strings of the dulcimer or

guitar, with a drumstick that the "manager" had placed at a convenient

distance from his (the boy's) hand.

The "Portland Daily Press," in noticing a lecture against Spiritualism,

recently delivered by Dr. Von Vleck, in that city, says:--"He (Dr. V.

V.) performed the principal feats of the Allen boy, with his hands tied

to the arm of the person with whom he was in communication."

Horace Greeley says that if a man will be a consummate jackass and fool,

he is not aware of anything in the Constitution to prevent it. I believe

Mr. Greeley is right; and I think no one can reasonably be expected to

exercise common sense unless he is known to possess it. It is quite

natural, therefore, that many of the spiritualists, lacking common

sense, should pretend to have something better.

III. TRADE AND BUSINESS IMPOSITIONS.

CHAPTER XVIII.

ADULTERATIONS OF FOOD.--ADULTERATIONS OF LIQUOR.--THE COLONEL'S

WHISKEY.--THE HUMBUGOMETER.

It was about eight hundred and fifty years before Christ when the young

prophet cried out to his master, Elisha, over the pottage of wild

gourds, "There is death in the pot!" It was two thousand six hundred and

seventy years afterward, in 1820, that Accum, the chemist cried out over

again, "There is death in the pot!" in the title page of a book so

named, which gave almost everybody a pain in the stomach, with its

horrid stories of the unhealthful humbugs sold for food and drink. This

excitement has been stirred up more than once since Mr. Accum's time,

with some success; yet nothing is more certain than that a very large

proportion of the food we eat, of the liquid we drink--always excepting

good well-filtered water--and the medicines we take, not to say a word

about the clothes we wear and the miscellaneous merchandise we use, is

more or less adulterated with cheaper materials. Sometimes these are

merely harmless; as flour, starch, annatto, lard, etc.; sometimes they

are vigorous, destructive poisons--as red lead, arsenic, strychnine, oil

of vitriol, potash, etc.

It is not agreeable to find ourselves so thickly beset by humbugs; to

find that we are not merely called on to see them, to hear them, to

believe them, to invest capital in them, but to eat and drink them. Yet

so it is; and, if my short discussion of this kind of humbug shall make

people a little more careful, and help them to preserve their health, I

shall think myself fortunate.

To begin with bread. Alum is very commonly put into it by the bakers, to

make it white. Flour of inferior quality, "runny" flour, and even that

from wormy wheat--ground-up worms, bugs, and all--is often mixed in as

much as the case will bear. Potato flour has been known to be mixed with

wheat; and so, thirty years ago, were plaster-of-Paris, bone-dust, white

clay, etc. But these are little used now, if at all; and the worst thing

in bread, aside from bad flour, which is bad enough, is usually the

alum. It is often put in ready mixed with salt, and it accomplishes two

things, viz., to make the bread white, and to suck up a good deal of

water, and make the bread weigh well. It has been sometimes found that

the alum was put in at the mill instead of the bakery.