[82] _Kruptadia_: Henninger Frères, Heilbronn, 1883: _Stories of
Picardy._
A peasant died and left three sons. On their return home from the
interment of their father, the three young men took counsel together.
The dead man had not been wealthy, and he bequeathed to his sons only
his house and a small piece of land.
After much discussion, it was decided that the eldest should leave the
house and land to his brethren, and go forth into the world to seek his
fortune. If he succeeded, he would return forthwith to his brethren
that they might share his good fortune, but if he did not return within
a year and a day, the second brother should set out in search of him.
This agreed, the eldest embraced his brethren and set forth.
Sallying from the village, he discovered two roads. In perplexity, he
tossed a coin in the air, and as it fell, so he made his choice. He
journeyed long without encountering aught but inns and farms, where he
spent the night, renewing his quest on the morrow. At length, after
travelling fifteen days, he came to a magnificent castle.
“‘Tis here perchance I shall find fortune,” quoth he. “I will enter the
castle and seek service within.”
But all the offices were filled. Going forth, he encountered the owner
of the castle, who was king of the countryside, and at his request the
youth related his purpose in coming to this domain.
Quoth the king:
“Employment I have none to offer thee in my palace; but I have a better
proposal to make. I have a daughter of the like not seen elsewhere
on earth. She pisseth over the most lofty houses. All the physicians
I have summoned cannot cure her, and it is a sad pity, for she is of
surpassing beauty. If thou canst prevent her from pissing over the
haycocks which thou shalt erect, thy fortune is made. I will give her
to thee in marriage. If thou failest, thou shalt go join in their
prison those imbeciles of physicians and charlatans who have already
sought to succeed in this my proposal. Thou dost understand? See then
if thou believest thyself capable of this achievement.”
The youth, having taken counsel with himself for several moments,
accepted the king’s proposal. This latter, leading him within the
palace, set him to dine with his wife and daughter. The Princess was
a marvel of beauty, and the peasant could not satiate his eyes of her
perfections. He was apportioned a chamber in the castle, what time he
awaited the day of his trial.
On the morrow the young adventurer chose a vast field, and thither
caused to be borne five or six hundred loads of hay. Next he took a
hundred peasants and set them to erect an enormous haycock.
“If the Princess doth succeed in pissing o’er this heap of hay,” he
thought, “I am mad.” And he went to tell the king the haycock was ready.
On the morrow came the Princess; and she fell to laughing when she saw
the haycock. She raised her robe and pissed high o’er the heap of hay.
The youth was thunderstruck. On the order of the king, they seized the
youth and cast him into a dungeon with the physicians who had essayed
the venture before him.
A year and a day after the departure of his eldest brother, the second
peasant set forth in his turn, taking the road followed by his brother
one year before. Journeying fifteen days, he, too, came upon the
castle, and, entering therein, demanded the work of a servant. Him also
the king saw, putting the proposal he had made to his elder brother.
Which proposal the youth accepted.
Well received by the family of the Princess, he pictured himself
already the son-in-law of the king, and built project upon project for
the future. He chose a vast plain, and thither caused to be borne six
thousand loads of hay. Next he took one thousand labourers and set them
to erect the haycock.
On the morrow the Princess approached the haycock, gave vent to a great
shriek of laughter, raised her robe, and--pissed high o’er the haycock.
And the second brother went to join his elder in the dungeon of the
king’s palace.
The youngest peasant was sore pained in that his brethren returned not.
“Assuredly they have suffered some mischance in their travels,” quoth
he to himself. “‘Twere ill of me did I not set forth in search of them,
and render them aid in their misfortune.”
He, in his turn, quitted the village. Chance took him by the same
road as that taken by his brethren, and he came to the palace of the
king who held them prisoner. He entered the palace, saw the king, and
accepted the proposal made to him. At table he found the Princess
adorable, and the Princess found him charming. This he perceived, and
resolved never to quit her side. All night he dreamed of the Princess,
nor did he wake till the sun was up. Then he fell to leisurely
reflection.
“All the same,” said he to himself, “if I succeed in taking the
maidenhead of the Princess before the trial, perchance she will not
piss so high. I am convinced that all dependeth on her virginity. I
will attempt this method.”
When day came, he arose and went to walk in the castle park. The
Princess had not slept the whole night long, ever seeing the
countenance of the young man. At daybreak she arose and went to walk in
the park, where she encountered the young peasant.
And this last did not let slip the occasion; he approached the young
girl and avowed that he died of love for her. The Princess was easy
of persuasion, and one hour afterward she had lost her maidenhead.
Then she re-entered the palace, the youth walking till the hour of
the morning meal, when he, too, entered the palace as if naught had
happened.
At noontide he caused to be borne into a corner of the park a single
load of hay; then told the king that he was ready for the trial.
And when the king, accompanied by his daughter, approached the tiny
haycock which had been erected by the young man, he cried out that the
trial was not serious, and he counselled the peasant to construct a
much loftier haycock. But the peasant affirmed that the heap of hay was
sufficient, whereat the king ordered his daughter to piss.
Who was the most astonished? Truly the king and the Princess, when
the latter only succeeded in watering her stockings, for the charming
channel, wherein the young man had laboured with the girl, from being
narrow, had grown great.
Judge then if the peasant was satisfied. The Princess, though she did
not let the youth perceive it, was likewise satisfied. And the king
gave his daughter to the young man, their nuptials were celebrated, the
young peasants became princes, and all lived happily ever afterward.