[76] Stories of sexual ignorance, amounting in the case of men to
veritable imbecility, are numerous in _Kruptadia_. In Vol. X.,
_Stories of Picardy_, we have the tale of a young girl who had been
seduced, but had married a half-witted youth, whom she was forced to
instruct in the art of love. When they were in bed together, “she
showed him how children are made--a business entirely unknown to him.
After the explanations had been given in theory, the husband mounted
upon his wife, desiring to show that he had learned his lesson well;
but the young wife cried out in surprise: ‘’Tis too high! ‘Tis too
high!’ An instant later she was forced to say: ‘’Tis too low! ‘Tis too
low!’ Several other of his efforts having failed, she told her husband
that he did but knock at the side of the door. Whereat the latter,
aweary of ‘Too high’ and ‘Too low,’ exclaimed: ‘Since thou knowest the
spot so well, put it there thyself!’”
“OH MOTHER, ROGER WITH HIS KISSES.”[77]
[77] J. S. Farmer: _Merry Songs and Ballads_: _Privately Printed_,
1897: Words and Music in _Pills to Purge Melancholy_, (1707), 1, 214.
Oh Mother, _Roger_ with his Kisses
Almost stops my Breath, I vow;
Why does he gripe my Hand to pieces,
And yet he says he loves me too?
Tell me, Mother, pray now do!
Pray now do, pray now do,
Tell me, Mother, pray now do,
Pray now, pray now, pray now do,
What Roger means when he does so?
For never stir I long to know.
Nay more, the naughty Man beside it,
Something in my Mouth he put;
I call’d him Beast, and try’d to Bite it,
But for my Life I cannot do’t;
Tell me, Mother, pray now do!
Pray now do, pray now do,
Tell me, Mother, pray now do,
Pray now, pray now, pray now do,
What Roger means when he does so?
For never stir I long to know.
He sets me in his Lap whole Hours,
Where I feel I know not what;
Something I never felt in yours,
Pray tell me Mother what is that?
Tell me Mother what is that?
For never stir I long to know.