“Oh, mother, may I go out to swim?”
“Oh, yes, my darling daughter,
But hang some clothes on each pretty limb,
For the po-lice insist you oughter.”
_Pasture Pot Pourri_
Oh, aspirin, dear aspirin, my head aches for you.
* * * * *
_A trip on the ocean will bring out all the good that’s in you._
* * * * *
In the army it was: “Gimme,” “Let me take,” and “Have you?”
* * * * *
When your comprenez vous rope is cut,
When you’ve bats in your belfry that flut,
When there’s nobody home
In the top of your dome,
Then your head ain’t a head—it’s a nut.
* * * * *
Last night I went to see a fortune teller. She read my mind, started to
blush, and slapped me right in the face.
* * * * *
No, Geraldine, Rex Beach is not a summer resort.
* * * * *
It is said that a woman ofttimes will drive a man to drink. For the
land’s sake, show me one.
* * * * *
Superintendent—“How long did you work at your last job?”
Applicant—“Ten years.”
“What doing?”
“Ten years.”
* * * * *