SCENE: _At the "Plough and Horses."_

"I be mortal sorry for that poor George--cut up as ever I see a man at

thought of it."

"Tenderest-hearted fellow in these 'ere parts, and a true friend to

all dumb animals."

"She be more 'n an animal to 'im. 'Aving no chick nor child, you may

say as she's companioned 'im these many months."

"'E 'ave right to be proud of 'er too. Never did I see a more 'andsome

sow--an' I've seen a many."

"She's been a right good sow to 'e."

"An' now 'e be nigh 'eart-broken 'long of these unnatural orders. For

stuck ev'ry blessed pig 'as got to be should they Germans get

anywheres within ten miles of us."

"I see 'im now as 'e was when 'e first got wind of it--fair struck all

of a 'eap, 'e were. 'I ain't got no objection to burning ricks,' 'e

says, 'for ricks ain't got 'uman ways to 'em, same as my old sow. But

kill my old sow,' 'e says, 'that's asking of me more 'n I can do.'"

"'Tain't a question of asking, either. Them's our orders, set out in

black and white."

"Somebody says that to George--and a cold-blooded word it seemed to

me, considering 'is depth o' trouble."

"What did the old chap say to that?"

"'Orders?' 'e says; 'ain't this a free country? An' you come between

me an' my old sow with orders!' 'e says."

"'Military law,' I says to 'im myself, 'makes 'avoc o' freedom--so it

do. But with they Germans at your very gates,' I says, 'freedom ain't

the same thing as a clean pair of 'eels. An' a pig's an awkward

customer to drive in an 'urry,' I says."

"Ain't to be done--not really brisk like, any'ow."

"'E seed that, o' course?"

"Wouldn't say so, any way. An' the names 'e called the Government, or

'ooever 'twas as 'anded round them orders, fair surprised us all.

Never knew the old chap could lay 'is tongue to the 'alf of it."

"If ever they Germans get 'ereabout there'll be trouble for the

Government about old George."

"'E ain't got chick nor child, yer see. A man can't get on without

something... Why, 'ere _be_ George."

"Evening, George. You come right in an' 'ave your pint, George."

"I earnt my pint to-day--so I 'ave. Busiest day's work I done this

side o' my wife's passing away, poor soul."

"What you been doing, George?"

"She were a one to keep you busy like. If she be really resting now I

reckon she be pretty miserable. 'Owever, that ain't neither 'ere nor

there."

"You tell us what you been up to, George. We only been talking o' you

when in you walks as large as life."

"We been talking o' you an' these 'ere orders, George, an' we feels

with you to a man. If you should 'ave to kill that fine sow o' yours

along of a lot o' 'ungry Germans 'twill be a mortal shame."

"I shan't never kill 'er for no Germans, so I promises you."

"Then they'll do the killing theirselves--they be dabsters at that."

"No Germans ain't going to kill my sow. Nor I ain't going to kill 'er

in an 'urry to please nobody."

"You'll get yourself in the wrong box, George, if you don't mind."

"You be too venturesome, George--at your old age."

"An' you a pensioner, too. Don't do to be too venturesome when you're

well stricken in years."

"I know what I be saying, though, for all that. Don't do to wait till

you 'ave to waste a good pig--all for nothing like. Good money she be

worth, an' I says to myself, 'You 'ave the money now, my boy, as the

old sow 'll fetch, before it be too late.' My old sow be pretty nigh

pork by now, up at butcher's."

* * * * *

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 148, January 20th 1915 · 第 17 / 41 题