Whether Quarreling Is Opposed to the Virtue of Friendship or
Affability?
Objection 1: It seems that quarreling is not opposed to the virtue of
friendship or affability. For quarreling seems to pertain to discord,
just as contention does. But discord is opposed to charity, as stated
above (Q. 37, A. 1). Therefore quarreling is also.
Obj. 2: Further, it is written (Prov. 26:21): "An angry man stirreth
up strife." Now anger is opposed to meekness. Therefore strife or
quarreling is also.
Obj. 3: Further, it is written (James 4:1): "From whence are wars and
quarrels [Douay: 'contentions'] among you? Are they not hence, from
your concupiscences which war in your members?" Now it would seem
contrary to temperance to follow one's concupiscences. Therefore it
seems that quarreling is opposed not to friendship but to temperance.
_On the contrary,_ The Philosopher opposes quarreling to friendship
(Ethic. iv, 6).
_I answer that,_ Quarreling consists properly in words, when, namely,
one person contradicts another's words. Now two things may be
observed in this contradiction. For sometimes contradiction arises on
account of the person who speaks, the contradictor refusing to
consent with him from lack of that love which unites minds together,
and this seems to pertain to discord, which is contrary to charity.
Whereas at times contradiction arises by reason of the speaker being
a person to whom someone does not fear to be disagreeable: whence
arises quarreling, which is opposed to the aforesaid friendship or
affability, to which it belongs to behave agreeably towards those
among whom we dwell. Hence the Philosopher says (Ethic. iv, 6) that
"those who are opposed to everything with the intent of being
disagreeable, and care for nobody, are said to be peevish and
quarrelsome."
Reply Obj. 1: Contention pertains rather to the contradiction of
discord, while quarreling belongs to the contradiction which has the
intention of displeasing.
Reply Obj. 2: The direct opposition of virtues to vices depends, not
on their causes, since one vice may arise from many causes, but on
the species of their acts. And although quarreling arises at times
from anger, it may arise from many other causes, hence it does not
follow that it is directly opposed to meekness.
Reply Obj. 3: James speaks there of concupiscence considered as a
general evil whence all vices arise. Thus, a gloss on Rom. 7:7 says:
"The law is good, since by forbidding concupiscence, it forbids all
evil."
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