Whether Friendliness Is a Special Virtue?
Objection 1: It seems that friendliness is not a special virtue. For
the Philosopher says (Ethic. viii, 3) that "the perfect friendship is
that which is on account of virtue." Now any virtue is the cause of
friendship: "since the good is lovable to all," as Dionysius states
(Div. Nom. iv). Therefore friendliness is not a special virtue, but a
consequence of every virtue.
Obj. 2: Further, the Philosopher says (Ethic. iv, 6) of this kind of
friend that he "takes everything in a right manner both from those he
loves and from those who are not his friends." Now it seems to
pertain to simulation that a person should show signs of friendship
to those whom he loves not, and this is incompatible with virtue.
Therefore this kind of friendliness is not a virtue.
Obj. 3: Further, virtue "observes the mean according as a wise man
decides" (Ethic. ii, 6). Now it is written (Eccles. 7:5): "The heart
of the wise is where there is mourning, and the heart of fools where
there is mirth": wherefore "it belongs to a virtuous man to be most
wary of pleasure" (Ethic. ii, 9). Now this kind of friendship,
according to the Philosopher (Ethic. iv, 6), "is essentially desirous
of sharing pleasures, but fears to give pain." Therefore this kind of
friendliness is not a virtue.
_On the contrary,_ The precepts of the law are about acts of virtue.
Now it is written (Ecclus. 4:7): "Make thyself affable to the
congregation of the poor." Therefore affability, which is what we
mean by friendship, is a special virtue.
_I answer that,_ As stated above (Q. 109, A. 2; I-II, Q. 55, A. 3),
since virtue is directed to good, wherever there is a special kind of
good, there must needs be a special kind of virtue. Now good consists
in order, as stated above (Q. 109, A. 2). And it behooves man to be
maintained in a becoming order towards other men as regards their
mutual relations with one another, in point of both deeds and words,
so that they behave towards one another in a becoming manner. Hence
the need of a special virtue that maintains the becomingness of this
order: and this virtue is called friendliness.
Reply Obj. 1: The Philosopher speaks of a twofold friendship in his
_Ethics._ One consists chiefly in the affection whereby one man loves
another and may result from any virtue. We have stated above, in
treating of charity (Q. 23, A. 1, A. 3, ad 1; QQ. 25, 26), what
things belong to this kind of friendship. But he mentions another
friendliness, which consists merely in outward words or deeds; this
has not the perfect nature of friendship, but bears a certain
likeness thereto, in so far as a man behaves in a becoming manner
towards those with whom he is in contact.
Reply Obj. 2: Every man is naturally every man's friend by a certain
general love; even so it is written (Ecclus. 13:19) that "every beast
loveth its like." This love is signified by signs of friendship,
which we show outwardly by words or deeds, even to those who are
strangers or unknown to us. Hence there is no dissimulation in this:
because we do not show them signs of perfect friendship, for we do
not treat strangers with the same intimacy as those who are united to
us by special friendship.
Reply Obj. 3: When it is said that "the heart of the wise is where
there is mourning" it is not that he may bring sorrow to his
neighbor, for the Apostle says (Rom. 14:15): "If, because of thy
meat, thy brother be grieved, thou walkest not now according to
charity": but that he may bring consolation to the sorrowful,
according to Ecclus. 7:38, "Be not wanting in comforting them that
weep, and walk with them that mourn." Again, "the heart of fools is
where there is mirth," not that they may gladden others, but that
they may enjoy others' gladness. Accordingly, it belongs to the wise
man to share his pleasures with those among whom he dwells, not
lustful pleasures, which virtue shuns, but honest pleasures,
according to Ps. 132:1, "Behold how good and how pleasant it is for
brethren to dwell together in unity."
Nevertheless, as the Philosopher says (Ethic. iv, 6), for the sake of
some good that will result, or in order to avoid some evil, the
virtuous man will sometimes not shrink from bringing sorrow to those
among whom he lives. Hence the Apostle says (2 Cor. 7:8): "Although I
made you sorrowful by my epistle, I do not repent," and further on (2
Cor. 7:9), "I am glad; not because you were made sorrowful, but
because you were made sorrowful unto repentance." For this reason we
should not show a cheerful face to those who are given to sin, in
order that we may please them, lest we seem to consent to their sin,
and in a way encourage them to sin further. Hence it is written
(Ecclus. 7:26): "Hast thou daughters? Have a care of their body, and
show not thy countenance gay towards them."
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