Whether a Man Ought, Out of Charity, to Love His Children More Than
His Father?
Objection 1: It seems that a man ought, out of charity, to love his
children more than his father. For we ought to love those more to
whom we are more bound to do good. Now we are more bound to do good
to our children than to our parents, since the Apostle says (2 Cor.
12:14): "Neither ought the children to lay up for the parents, but
the parents for the children." Therefore a man ought to love his
children more than his parents.
Obj. 2: Further, grace perfects nature. But parents naturally love
their children more than these love them, as the Philosopher states
(Ethic. viii, 12). Therefore a man ought to love his children more
than his parents.
Obj. 3: Further, man's affections are conformed to God by charity.
But God loves His children more than they love Him. Therefore we also
ought to love our children more than our parents.
_On the contrary,_ Ambrose [*Origen, Hom. ii in Cant.] says: "We
ought to love God first, then our parents, then our children, and
lastly those of our household."
_I answer that,_ As stated above (A. 4, ad 1; A. 7), the degrees of
love may be measured from two standpoints. First, from that of the
object. In this respect the better a thing is, and the more like to
God, the more is it to be loved: and in this way a man ought to love
his father more than his children, because, to wit, he loves his
father as his principle, in which respect he is a more exalted good
and more like God.
Secondly, the degrees of love may be measured from the standpoint of
the lover, and in this respect a man loves more that which is more
closely connected with him, in which way a man's children are more
lovable to him than his father, as the Philosopher states (Ethic.
viii). First, because parents love their children as being part of
themselves, whereas the father is not part of his son, so that the
love of a father for his children, is more like a man's love for
himself. Secondly, because parents know better that so and so is
their child than vice versa. Thirdly, because children are nearer to
their parents, as being part of them, than their parents are to them
to whom they stand in the relation of a principle. Fourthly, because
parents have loved longer, for the father begins to love his child at
once, whereas the child begins to love his father after a lapse of
time; and the longer love lasts, the stronger it is, according to
Ecclus. 9:14: "Forsake not an old friend, for the new will not be
like to him."
Reply Obj. 1: The debt due to a principle is submission of respect
and honor, whereas that due to the effect is one of influence and
care. Hence the duty of children to their parents consists chiefly in
honor: while that of parents to their children is especially one of
care.
Reply Obj. 2: It is natural for a man as father to love his children
more, if we consider them as closely connected with him: but if we
consider which is the more exalted good, the son naturally loves his
father more.
Reply Obj. 3: As Augustine says (De Doctr. Christ. i, 32), God loves
us for our good and for His honor. Wherefore since our father is
related to us as principle, even as God is, it belongs properly to
the father to receive honor from his children, and to the children to
be provided by their parents with what is good for them. Nevertheless
in cases of necessity the child is bound out of the favors received
to provide for his parents before all.
_______________________