Whether We Ought to Love More Those Who Are Connected with Us by Ties
of Blood?
Objection 1: It would seem that we ought not to love more those who
are more closely united to us by ties of blood. For it is written
(Prov. 18:24): "A man amiable in society, shall be more friendly than
a brother." Again, Valerius Maximus says (Fact. et Dict. Memor. iv
7): "The ties of friendship are most strong and in no way yield to
the ties of blood." Moreover it is quite certain and undeniable, that
as to the latter, the lot of birth is fortuitous, whereas we contract
the former by an untrammelled will, and a solid pledge. Therefore we
ought not to love more than others those who are united to us by ties
of blood.
Obj. 2: Further, Ambrose says (De Officiis i, 7): "I love not less
you whom I have begotten in the Gospel, than if I had begotten you in
wedlock, for nature is no more eager to love than grace." Surely we
ought to love those whom we expect to be with us for ever more than
those who will be with us only in this world. Therefore we should not
love our kindred more than those who are otherwise connected with us.
Obj. 3: Further, "Love is proved by deeds," as Gregory states (Hom.
in Evang. xxx). Now we are bound to do acts of love to others than
our kindred: thus in the army a man must obey his officer rather than
his father. Therefore we are not bound to love our kindred most of
all.
_On the contrary,_ The commandments of the decalogue contain a
special precept about the honor due to our parents (Ex. 20:12).
Therefore we ought to love more specially those who are united to us
by ties of blood.
_I answer that,_ As stated above (A. 7), we ought out of charity to
love those who are more closely united to us more, both because our
love for them is more intense, and because there are more reasons for
loving them. Now intensity of love arises from the union of lover and
beloved: and therefore we should measure the love of different
persons according to the different kinds of union, so that a man is
more loved in matters touching that particular union in respect of
which he is loved. And, again, in comparing love to love we should
compare one union with another. Accordingly we must say that
friendship among blood relations is based upon their connection by
natural origin, the friendship of fellow-citizens on their civic
fellowship, and the friendship of those who are fighting side by side
on the comradeship of battle. Wherefore in matters pertaining to
nature we should love our kindred most, in matters concerning
relations between citizens, we should prefer our fellow-citizens, and
on the battlefield our fellow-soldiers. Hence the Philosopher says
(Ethic. ix, 2) that "it is our duty to render to each class of people
such respect as is natural and appropriate. This is in fact the
principle upon which we seem to act, for we invite our relations to a
wedding . . . It would seem to be a special duty to afford our
parents the means of living . . . and to honor them."
The same applies to other kinds of friendship.
If however we compare union with union, it is evident that the union
arising from natural origin is prior to, and more stable than, all
others, because it is something affecting the very substance, whereas
other unions supervene and may cease altogether. Therefore the
friendship of kindred is more stable, while other friendships may be
stronger in respect of that which is proper to each of them.
Reply Obj. 1: In as much as the friendship of comrades originates
through their own choice, love of this kind takes precedence of the
love of kindred in matters where we are free to do as we choose, for
instance in matters of action. Yet the friendship of kindred is more
stable, since it is more natural, and preponderates over others in
matters touching nature: consequently we are more beholden to them in
the providing of necessaries.
Reply Obj. 2: Ambrose is speaking of love with regard to favors
respecting the fellowship of grace, namely, moral instruction. For in
this matter, a man ought to provide for his spiritual children whom
he has begotten spiritually, more than for the sons of his body, whom
he is bound to support in bodily sustenance.
Reply Obj. 3: The fact that in the battle a man obeys his officer
rather than his father proves, that he loves his father less, not
simply [but] relatively, i.e. as regards the love which is based on
fellowship in battle.
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