Professor O’Flanigan held up a small phial, and the class was silent.
“One drop of this liquid,” said he, impressively, “placed upon the tongue
of a cat is sufficient to kill the strongest man!”
* * * * *
For months Pat, who lived in the oil country, had been drilling
unsuccessfully in his back yard. One day his friends were astonished to
see him rush from his door cheering loudly.
“What’s the idea, Pat?” he was asked.
“Haven’t ye heard the good news?”
“Good Lord! You haven’t struck oil at last, have you?”
“No, not yet. But didn’t ye notice how the price of it went up yesterday?”
* * * * *
Pat and Mike were engaged in a dispute in a cemetery one day. “Well,”
said Pat, “I don’t like this cemetery at all, at all.”
“Well,” said Mike, “I think it is a fine cemetery.”
“No,” said Pat, “I don’t like it at all, at all, and I’ll never be buried
in it as long as I live.”
“What an unreasonable ould fool ye are, to be sure,” said Mike, losing
his temper. “Why man alive, it is a fine cemetery, and if my life is
spared, sure I’ll be buried in it.”
* * * * *
An Irishman said that a friend of his had died suddenly. “Did he live
high?” he was asked. “I can’t say as to that,” replied Mike “but he died
high,—_he was hung_.”
* * * * *
Mrs. O’Regan—“Did yez ever hov yer palm read, Mrs. O’Reilly?”
Mrs. O’Reilly—“Phwat a question, Mrs. O’Regan! Haven’t I had ten children
an’ had to spank all o’ thim?”
* * * * *