Pat (shyly)—I want to see some weddin’ rings.
Jeweler—Eighteen karats?
Pat (loudly)—No, I’ve been atin’ onions and I don’t know that it is any
of your business what I’ve been atin’.
* * * * *
Pat: “Phwat was the last card Oi dealt ye, Mike?”
Mike: “A spade.”
Pat: “Oi knew it was, Oi saw ye spit on yer hand before ye picked it up.”
* * * * *
“If everyone in the world was as dishonest as you are,” remarked an Irish
judge, as he addressed a swindler before him; “I don’t know what would
become of the rest of us.”
* * * * *
“It’s thrue,” said Paddy to Dennis one day, “it wor a grand soight. But
whoile ye’re standin’ sit down, an’ Oi’ll tell ye all about it.”
* * * * *