I considered to-day what would happen if I gained Aniela's love, or
rather brought her to confess it. I see happiness before me but no way
of reaching it. I know that if in presence of these women I uttered
the word "divorce," they would think the roof was crashing down over
our heads. There cannot be even a question as to that, because my
aunt's and Pani Celina's ideas upon that point are such that neither
of them would survive the shock. I have no illusions as to Aniela; her
ideas are the same. And yet the moment she owns her love, I will say
the word, and she must accustom herself to it; but we shall have to
wait until my aunt's and Pani Celina's death. There is nothing else
for it. Kromitzki will either agree willingly or he will not. In the
latter case I shall carry Aniela off, if I have to go as far as the
Indies, and the divorce, or rather invalidation of the marriage, I
shall conduct myself, in spite of his wishes. Fortunately, there is no
want of means. As regards myself, I am ready for everything, and the
inward conviction that I am right justifies me in my own eyes. This
time it is not a mere love intrigue, but a feeling that absorbs my
whole being. Its sincerity and strength make all my stratagems lawful.
I know that I deceive her in saying that all I wish to gain is a
sister's love. I deceive her when I say I do not desire anything; all
this would be wrong and a lie if my love were in itself a lie. In
presence of a great truth, they are mere diplomatic stratagems of
love. It all belongs to the course of love. It is a known fact that
even affianced lovers have recourse to stratagems, in order to make
each other confess their love. As to myself, I am sincere even when I
say what is not true.