Not a star appear'd to direct us in our way, nor would the dead of the
night give us hopes of meeting a stranger that could; with these, the
wine we had drank, and our ignorance of the place, even in the day
time, conspir'd to mis-direct us. When we had wander'd almost an
hour, with our feet all bloody, over sharp pebbles and broken hills of
gravel, Gito's diligence at last deliver'd us: for the day before,
fearing we might be at a loss, tho' we had the sun to our help, he had
providently mark'd every post and pillar with a chalk, the greatest
darkness was not able to obscure, by whose shineing whiteness we found
our way. But we had as many fears after we got to an inn; for the
hostess, having drank a little too long with her guests, had so
intirely lost her senses, a burning could not have made her feel; that
perhaps, we had been forc'd to have taken up our lodging in the
street, if a letter-carrier that belong'd to Trimalchio, with ten
carriages of his master's revenue, had not come in the mean time; who
without much ado beat down the door, and let us in at the same gap.
After we enter'd the bed-chamber, having plentifully feasted; prest by
impatient nature, I took my Gito aside; and wrapt in pleasures, spent
the night.
Who can the charms of that blest night declare,
How soft ye gods! our warm embraces were?
We hugg'd, we cling'd, and thro' each other's lips,
Our souls, like meeting streams, together mixt;
Farewell the world, and all its pageantry!
When I, a mortal! so begin to dye.
'Tis without reason I hug myself; Ascyltos, omnis iniuriae inventor,
subduxit mihi nocte puerum et in lectum transtulit suum, volutatusque
liberius cum fratre non suo, sive non sentiente iniuriam sive
dissimulante, indormivit alienis amplexibus oblitus iuris humani.
Itaque ego ut experrectus pertrectavi gaudio despoliatum torum. Si
qua est amantibus fides, ego dubitavi, an utrumque traicerem gladio
somnumque morti iungerem. Tutius dein secutus consilium Gitona quidem
verberibus excitavi, and looking as sternly as I cou'd upon Ascyltos,
thus address'd my self: "Since you've play'd the villain by your
treachery, and breaking the common laws of friendship, pack up your
matters quickly, and find another comrade to abuse."
Ascyltos consented; and, after we had made an exact division of our
booty; "Now," says he, "let's share the boy too": I believ'd it a jest
at parting, but, he with a murderous resolution, drew his sword; "nor
shall you," added he, "think to ingross this prize, which should, like
the rest, be common to us both. I must have my share, or with this
sword will be content to take it." Upon which, on the other side,
having twisted my gown under my arm, I made advances to ingage.
The unhappy boy rush'd between, and kissing both our knees, with
tears, entreated that we would not expose our selves in a pitiful
alehouse, nor with our blood pollute the rites of so dear a
friendship: but, raising his voice, says he, "if there must be murder,
behold my naked bosom, hither direct your fury: 'Tis I deserve death,
who violated the sacred laws of friendship."
Upon which we sheath'd our swords; and first Ascyltos, "I'll," says
he, "end the difference: Let the boy himself follow the man he likes,
that, in chusing a friend, at least, he may have an unquestion'd
liberty."
I, that presum'd so long an acquaintance, had made no slight
impressions on his nature, was so far from fearing, that with an eager
haste I accepted the proffer, and to the judge committed the dispute:
Gito, that he might not seem to consider, at my consent jump'd up, and
chose Ascyltos.
I, like one thunderstruck, at the sentence, void of defence, fell upon
the bed, and had not surviv'd the loss, if envy of my rival had not
stopp'd my sword.
Ascyltos, proud of the conquest, goes off with the prize, leaving me
expos'd in a strange place, that before he caress'd as a friend and
sharer of his fortune:
'Tis in the world, as in a game of chess;
We serve our friends but where our profit is.
When fortune smiles, we're yours, and yours alone;
But when she frowns, the servile herd are gone.
So, in a play, they act with mimick art,
Father, or son, or griping miser's part:
But when at last the comic scenes are o'er,
They quit the visards they assum'd before.
Nor did I there very long complain, for fearing one Menelaus, an usher
of a school, might, among other misfortunes, find me alone in the inn,
I made up my wallet, and, very pensive, took me a lodging in a private
place near the sea: there, after I had been mewd up for three days,
reflecting afresh on my despis'd and abject condition, I beat my
breast, as sick as it was; and, when my deep sighs would suffer me,
often cry'd out; "Why has not the earth burst open, and swallow'd me?
Why has not the sea o'erwhelm'd me that respects not even the innocent
themselves? Have I been a murderer? when I had violated Lycas's wife,
have I fled justice? have I escap'd even when I was condemn'd to dye,
to live in a strange place, to have my name recorded only among
beggars and vagabonds? and who condemn'd me to this solitude?--A boy!
One who is a prostitute to all manner of lust; and by his own
confession deserves to dye; whom vice has enobl'd from a slave; who
was publickly contracted with as a girl, by one that knew he was of
the other sex: and what a wretch is that other, ye gods! whom, when he
might have writ man, his mother perswaded even out of his sex, and
putting on petty-coats, was condemn'd to a maids office in a prison:
who, after he had spent what he had, and chang'd the scene of his
lust; having contracted an old friendship, basely left it; and,
frontless impudence! like a hot whore, for one night's pleasure, sold
his friend. Now the lovers lye whole nights lockt in each other's
arms, and who knows but in those intervals they recruit their weary'd
strength, may laugh at me: but they shan't go off so, for if I'm a
man, or a free-born one at least, I'll make their blood compensate the
injury."
Having thus said I girt on my sword; and lest I shou'd be too weak to
maintain the war, encourag'd my self with a lusty meal, and making out
of doors, like one possesst, search'd every place: but whilst, with a
wild distracted countenance, I thought of nothing but blood and
slaughter; and oft with execrations laying my hand on my sword, a
souldier, perhaps some cheat or padder, observ'd me, and making up to
me, askt to what regiment or company I, his brother souldier,
belong'd? when, with a good assurance, I had cheated him into a belief
of the regiment and company; well, but friend, said he, looking down,
doe the souldiers of your company walk in such shoes? I began to look
guilty, and by my trembling discover'd the lye I had told him: upon
which he made me lay down my arms, and bid me take care of the worst.
Thus stript, nay and thus rob'd of my revenge, I return'd to my
lodging, where by degrees my fears abating, I began in my mind to
thank the robber.
But finding it difficult to wean my self from the love of revenge, I
spent half the night very pensively; and rising by day-break, to ease
me of my grief, and thoughts of my injury, I rov'd about every where,
till at last going in to a publick gallery, very wonderful for several
sorts of excellent painting; I saw some by Zeuxy's hand, that had not
yet yielded to the injuries of time: And, not without an awful
reverence, behold others by Protogenes, which tho' they were first
tryals, yet disputed for exactness, even with nature it self: but on
the other side viewing a celebrated piece drawn by Apelles; I even
ador'd the work of so great a master: 'twas so correctly finisht to
the life, you'd have sworn it an image of the soul too. One side gave
the story of the eagle bearing Jupiter to heaven, the other the fair
Hylas repelling the addresses of the lew'd naiad: in another part was
Apollo, angry at himself for killing his boy Hyacinth; and, to shew
his love, crown'd his harp with the flower that sprung from his blood.
In this gallery, as in a vision of living images, I cry'd out; and are
not the gods themselves secure from love? Jupiter in his seraglio
above, not finding one that can please his appetite, sins upon earth,
yet injures nobody: the nymph wou'd have stifl'd her passion for
Hylas, had she believ'd the lusty Hercules wou'd have been his rival:
Apollo turns Hyacinth into a flower: and every image enjoy'd its
wishes without a rival: but I have caress'd, as the dearest friend,
the greatest villain.
While I was thus talking to my self, there enter'd the gallery an old
man, with a face as pale as age had made his hair; and seem'd, I know
not how, to bring with him the air of a great soul; but viewing his
habit, I was easily confirm'd in my opinion, since fortune seldom
deals favourably with learned men. In short, he made up to me, and
addressing himself, told me he was a poet; and, as he hop'd, above the
common herd: if, added he, my merrit don't suffer by applause that's
promiscuously given, to the good and bad.
Why, therefore, interrupted I, are you so meanly clad? On this
account return'd he, because learning never made any man rich.
The merchant's profit well rewards his toil:
The souldier crowns his labours with the spoil:
To servile flattery we altars raise:
And the kind wife her stallion ever pays:
But starving wit in rags takes barren pain:
And, dying, seeks the muses aid in vain.
"'Tis certain," added he, "that a lover of virtue, on account of his
singularity, meets with contempt; for who can approve what differs
from himself? And that those who admire riches, wou'd fain possess
every body, that nothing is more reasonable than their opinion; whence
they ridicule, as well as they can, the learned few; that they, like
themselves, might seem within the power of money."
"I don't know, how learning and poverty became relations," said I, and
sigh'd: "You justly lament," return'd he, "the condition of scholars."
"You mistake me," said I, "that's not the occasion of my sighs,
there's another and much greater cause:" And, as all men are naturally
inclin'd to communicate their grief; I laid open my case to him,
beginning with Ascyltos's treachery, which I aggravated; and, with
repeated sighs, often wisht his injustice to me might have deserv'd
pardon: but that now he was a staunch villain, and in lust more subtle
than the bawds themselves.
The old man, seeing me sincere, began to comfort me; and the better to
effect it, told me what formerly had happen'd to himself on the like
occasion.
"In Asiam cum a quaestore essem stipendio eductus, hospitium Pergami
accepi. Ubi cum libenter habitarem non solum propter cultum
aedicularum, sed etiam propter hospitis formosissimum filium,
excogitavi rationem, qua non essem patri familiae suspectus amator.
Quotiescunque enim in convivio de usu formosorum mentio facta est, tam
vehementer excandui, tam severa tristitia violari aures meas obsceno
sermone nolui, ut me mater praecipue tanquam unum ex philosophis
intueretur. Iam ego coeperam ephebum in gymnasium deducere, ego
studia eius ordinare, ego docere ac praecipere, ne quis praedator
corporis admitteretur in domum. . . .
"Forte cum in triclinio iaceremus, quia dies sollemnis ludum artaverat
pigritiamque recedendi imposuerat hilaritas longior, fere circa mediam
noctem intellexi puerum vigilare. Itaque timidissimo murmure votum
feci et 'domina' inquam 'Venus, si ego hunc puerum basiavero, ita ut
ille non sensiat, cras illi par columbarum donabo.' Audito voluptatis
pretio puer stertere coepit. Itaque aggressus simulantem aliquot
basiolis invasi. Contentus hoc principio bene mane surrexi electumque
par columbarum attuli expectanti ac me voto exsolvi.
"Proxima nocte cum idem liceret, mutavi optionem et 'si hunc' inquam
'tractavero improba manu, et ille non senserit, gallos gallinaceos
pugnacissimos duos donabo patienti.' Ad hoc votum ephebus ultro se
admovit et, puto, vereri coepit, ne ego obdormiscerem. Indulsi ergo
sollicito, totoque corpore citra summam voluptatem nne ingurgitavi.
Deinde ut dies venit, attuli gaudenti quicquid promiseram. Ut tertia
nox licentiam dedit, consurrexi . . . ad aurem male dormientis 'dii'
inquam 'immortales, si ego huic dormienti abstulero coitum plenum et
optabilem, pro hac felicitate cras puero asturconem. Macedonicum
optimum donabo, cum hac tamen exceptione, si ille non senserit.'
Nunquam altiore somno ephebus obdormivit. Itaque primum implevi
lacentibus papillis manus, mox basio inhaesi, deinde in unum omnia
vota coniunxi. Mane sedere in cubiculo coepit atque expectare
consuetudinem meam. Scis quanto facilius sit, columbas gallosque
gallinaceos emere quam asturconem, et praeter hoc etiam timebam, ne
tam grande munus suspectam faceret humanitatem meam. Ego aliquot
horis spatiatus in hospitium reverti nihilque aliud quam puerum
basiavi. At ille circumspiciens ut cervicem meam iunxit amplexu,
'rogo' inquit 'domine, ubi est asturco?'
"Cum ob hanc offensam praeclusissem mihi aditum, quem feceram, iterum
ad licentiam redii. Interpositis enim paucis diebus, cum similis
casus nos in eandem fortunam rettulisset, ut intellexi stertere
patrem, rogare coepi ephebum, ut reverteretur in gratiam mecum, id est
ut pateretur satis fieri sibi, et cetera quae libido distenta dictat.
At ille plane iratus nihil aliud dicebat nisi hoc: 'aut dormi, aut ego
iam dicam patri.' Nihil est tam arduum, quod non improbitas
extorqueat. Dum dicit: 'patrem excitabo,' irrepsi tamen et male
repugnanti gaudium extorsi. At ille non indelectatus nequitia mea,
postquam diu questus est deceptum se et derisum traductumque inter
condiscipulos, quibus iactasset censum meum, 'videris tamen' inquit
'non ero tui similis. Si quid vis, fac iterum.' Ego vero deposita
omni offensa cum puero in gratiam redii ususque beneficio eius in
somnum delapsus sum. Sed non fuit contentus iteratione ephebus planae
maturitatis et annis ad patiendum gestientibus. Itaque excitavit me
sopitum et 'numquid vis?' inquit. Et non plane iam molestum erat
munus. Utcunque igitur inter anhelitus sudoresque tritus, quod
voluerat, accepit, rursusque in somnum decidi gaudio lassus.
Interposita minus hora pungere me manu coepit et dicere: 'quare non
facimus?' tum ego totiens excitatus plane vehementer excandui et
reddidi illi voces suas: 'aut dormi, aut ego iam patri dicam.'"
This discourse diverting my grief, I began to question the old
gentleman about the antiquity of some pieces, the stories of others I
was not acquainted with, the reason why this age don't come up to the
former, and why the most excellent arts are lost, of which painting
has not left the least sign of its being? "Our love of riches,"
reply'd he, "has been the only occasion: for in old time, when virtue
was admir'd for its own sake, all liberal arts flourisht, and the only
emulation among men, was to make discoveries that might profit the
age. 'Twas in those times Democritus, content with poverty, found out
the vertue of most herbs; and lest there might be any hidden
excellence in stones and trees, spent the rest of his life in
experiments about them: 'Twas then Eudoxus abandon'd the world, to
live on the top of a high mountain, to discover the motions of the
heavens and Crisippus, the better to qualify his mind for invention,
went thrice through a course of physick.
"But to return to imagery, Lysippus with that diligence imploy'd
himself about one statue, that, neglecting his living, he dyed, for
want: and Myron, whose brazen images of men and beasts, you might have
mistaken for living ones, dy'd very poor: but our age is so wholly
devoted to drinking and whoring, we're so far from inventing, that we
don't acquaint our selves even with those arts that are found to our
hands: But, accusing antiquity, our schools become seminaries of vice
only: what's our logick? How little do we know of astronomy? Where's
our philosopher? What master of eloquence could indure to hear it so
murdred in a pulpit? What wise man cou'd suffer the noise? Our
business in the temple is not to inform our minds, or correct our
lives; but as soon as we enter the place, one out of love to his
friend, being made his heir, promises a sacrifice to the gods, if
they'd please to take him out of this troublesome world; another, if
they'd direct him to a treasure: the like a third promises if they'd
make him happy in a small estate of 300l. per an. or so: The very
Senate that shou'd show an exemplary conduct, in occasions of doubtful
events, have devoted mighty sums of gold to religious uses: And who
wou'd not but admire, that, he is perswaded hath charms enough to make
the gods themselves comply! You need not wonder why painting is lost,
when gold appears more beautiful both to gods and men, than any thing
Apelles or Phidias are now esteem'd madly to have spent their time
about: But seeing your curiosity is wholly taken up with that piece,
that shews you a contracted history of the Siege of Troy: I'll try to
give you the story more at large in verse.
"Now Troy had felt a siege of ten long years,
Concern and sorrow in each face appears:
The Grecian prophet too, with terrour fill'd,
What fate decree'd, but doubtfully reveal'd:
When thus Apollo----
From the proud top of Ida's rising hill
A lofty pile of mighty cedars fell,
Whose trunks into a dreadful fabrick force,
And, let it bear the figure of a horse:
The spacious hollows, of whose mountain-womb,
The choice and flower of your troops entomb.
The Greeks, enrag'd to be so long repell'd,
With their chief troops the beasts vast bowel's fill'd,
And thus their arms and all their hopes conceal'd.
Strange was the fate the rul'd unhappy Troy,
Who thought them gone, and lasting peace t'enjoy,
So the inscription of the machine said,
And treacherous Synon, for their ruin made.
All from their arms at once, and troubles run
To view the horse, and left th' unguarded town
So over-joy'd they wept: Thus even fears
When joy surprizes, melt away in tears.
Enrag'd Laocoon, with prophetick beat,
Prest thro' the crowd, that on his humour wait;
And with a javelin pierc'd the fatal horse,
But fate retards the blow, and stopt its force:
The spear jumpt back upon the priest, so nigh,
It gave new credit to the treachery.
Yet to confirm how weak was the attempt
'Gainst what the gods will have, his javelin sent,
Resum'd with double fury, thro' his side,
And the large concave of the machine try'd:
When from within the captive Grecians roar;
And the beast trembles with another's fear.
Yet to the town the present they convey,
Thus a new stragem does Troy betray;
While to the taken, she becomes a prey.
But other monsters there enform our eyes,
What mighty seas from Teuedos arise!
The frighted Neptune seems to seek the shore,
With such a noise, with such a dreadful roar:
As in a silent night, when, from afar,
The dismal sound of wrecks invades the ear:
When rolling on the waves two mighty snakes,
Unhappy Troy descry'd; whose circling stroaks,
Had drove the swelling surges on the rocks.
Like lofty ships they on the billows ride,
And with rais'd breasts the foaming flood divide:
Their crests they brandish and red eye-balls raise,
That all around dispence a sulphurous blaze.
To shore advancing, now the waves appear
All fire; unwonted ratlings fill the air.
The ocean trembles at their dreadful hiss;
All are amaz'd: When in a Trojan dress;
And holy wreaths their sacred temples bind,
Laocoon's sons were by the snakes entwin'd:
Now t'wards heaven their little hands are thrown
Each for his brother, not himself does moan,
And prays to save his ruin by his own.
Both dye at last, thro' fear each other shou'd,
And to give death a greater pomp, the good
Laocoon to their rescue vainly run,
Now gorg'd with death, they drag him on the ground
Up to the altar, where devoted lies
The priest himself, a panting sacrifice.
Thus with his blood the temple they prophane;
Losing their gods; Troy's ruin thus began:
Now the bright taper of the night appears,
Gayly attended with a train of stars:
When midst the Trojans, dead in sleep and wine,
The Grecians execute their dire design:
When from the open'd caverns of the horse,
Like a large flood, their hidden troops did gush;
And now deliver'd, leave their horse and fear,
With the same wanton motions colts appear:
When from the plow, and heavy collar freed,
They shake their rising crests, and try their speed.
Their swords they brandish, and their shields they rear,
And fix their helmets, then begin the war:
A party here o' th' drunken Trojans light,
And send them snoring to eternal night;
Another there now made their altars smoke,
And against Troy, Troy's guardian gods invoke."
When Eumolpus had gone thus far in his story, the people that were
walking there, began to fling stones at him: But he, conscious of his
merit, cover'd his head, and took up his heels: I, fearing they wou'd
have taken me for a poet too, made after him: When we were out of
stone shot of the enemy, "I beseech you, sir," said I, "what will you
do with this disease of yours? I don't wonder at the peoples humour,
since I have hardly been acquainted with you two hours, and your
entertainment has been more poetry than the conversation of a man. I
think I must fill my pocket with stones, that when I perceive you
going into a fit, I may bleed you in the head for it, with one of
'em."
He turn'd to me, and, "Dear child," said he, "I rose to day without
consulting my fortune; tho' 'tis confest I seldom appear even on the
stage, but such a mobb as this are laughing at me: But that I may not
be at difference with you too, I'll tye my self up from this humour of
poetry:" "Well, well," said I, "on that condition I sup with you;"
upon which, going into the poor cottage I lodg'd at, we order'd the
master of it to get us a supper, and in the mean time we went to the
bagnio, where I saw Gito standing against the wall, with towels and
rubbing brushes in his hand; his troubl'd countenance easily perswaded
me he serv'd on compulsion: As soon as he saw me, with joy addressing
himself, he told me, that since I was not in that martial posture that
once frighted him to belye his affections, he cou'd freely speak to
me, upon which he entreated me to pity his circumstances; and, if I
cou'd but deliver him from so barbarous a master, since he was now
sorry he was forc'd to be my judge, I might take my satisfaction in
any punishment I'de please to inflict; "for," added he, "if I must
dye, 'twill be comfort enough to so unhappy a wretch to think that you
are pleas'd in 't."
I desir'd him wave his complaints, lest our design shou'd be
discover'd, and leaving Eumolpus (for in the bath he was versifying)
we made off thro' a dirty back-entry, as privately as we could to my
lodgings: Where, shutting the door, I threw my arms about his neck,
and, tho, he was all in tears, half smother'd him with kisses: Thus we
continu'd without a word from either side: Gito's repeated sobs so
disturb'd him, he could not speak: When after a long time spent in
that posture, "how unaccountable is it," began I, "to love him that
once forsook me! And that in this breast I shou'd feel so great a
wound, yet have no sign of its being there! what's you' pretence for
chusing Ascyltos? Have I deserv'd such usage?"
After he found I still had love for him, he began to look less
concerned: "When," added I, "I'm so far from desireing an umpire to
judge of th' ingratitude of your choice, that I neither complain of,
or design to remember it; if I find you sincere."
I cou'd not tell him this without a tear: When, wiping his face, says
he, "Encolpius, I appeal to your memory, whether I left, you, or you
betray'd me. I must confess, and hope you can't blame me; when I saw
two at daggers-drawing, that I ran to the strongest."
I cou'd not but admire his wit, and to convince him of a perfect
reconciliation, sealed it with repeated kisses.
'Twas now quite dark, and our supper was dishing up, when Eumolpus
knock'd at the door: I ask'd how many there was of 'em: And took an
opportunity through a chink, to see whether Ascyltos was with him: But
finding him alone, I soon open'd the door: He had hardly fixt himself
on his couch, when seeing Gito in waiting, "on my word," said he, "a
very Gannymed; sure Encolpius, you'll have no reason to complain to
day."
I did not like to observing an entry; and was afraid I had entertain'd
another Ascyltos. Eumolpus pursuing his humour, when the boy fill'd
him a glass, "I had rather," said he, "be in possession of thee, than
the whole bagnio"; and greedily drinking it off, "the heat I've been
in," added he, "made this the pleasantest draught I ever took: For to
deal freely with ye, I narrowly scap'd a beating, for attempting, when
I was in the bath, to deliver my thoughts of it in verse: And after I
was turn'd out of the bagnio, as I us'd to be out of the theatre; I
search'd every place, crying as loud as I cou'd, 'Encolpius,
Encolpius.' A naked youth that had lost his cloaths, as strongly
echo'd back to me, 'Gito, Gito': The boys, believing me mad, ridicul'd
me with their mimikry: But the other was attended with a great
concourse of people, that with an awful admiration prais'd the youth:
For nature had so largely qualify'd him for a lover, his body seem'd
but as the skirt of the mighty member it bore: A lusty rogue! I'll
warrant, he'd maintain the field four and twenty hours! He therefore
soon found relief, for some debauch'd spark, a Roman knight, as was
reported, flung his cloak over him, and took him home, with hopes, I
presume to engross so great a prize: But I was so far from meeting
such civility, that even my own cloaths were kept from me, till I
brought one that knew me, to satisfie 'em in my character: So much
more profitable 'tis to improve the body than the mind."
Whilst Eumolpus was telling his story, I often chang'd countenance:
Looking glad at the ill fortune of my rival, but troubled at his good:
yet did not interrupt him, lest he shou'd discover my concern: and
when he had done, I told him what we had for supper.
I had hardly given him an account, e're our entertainment came in:
'Twas common homely food, but very nourishing: Our half starv'd doctor
attacqu'd it very briskly, but when he had well fill'd himself, began
to tell us, philosophers were above the world, and to ridicule those
that condemn every thing, because 'tis common, and only to admire
those things that are difficult to be had: "These vicious appetites,"
added he, "that despise what they can cheaply come by, never taste any
thing pure, but, like sick men, love only those things that are
hurtful to 'em.
"What's soon obtain'd, we nauseously receive,
All hate the victory that's got with leave:
We scorn the good our happy isle brings forth,
But love whatever is of foreign growth:
Not that the fish that distant waters feed,
Do those excel that in our climate breed;
But these are cheaply taken, those came far,
With difficulty got, and cost us dear:
Thus the kind she, abroad, we admire above
Th' insipid lump, at home of lawful love:
Yet once enjoy'd, we strait a new desire,
And absent pleasures only do admire."
"Is this," said I, interrupting him, "what you promis'd, that you
wou'd not versifie to day agen? I beseech you, sir, at least spare us
that never pelted you: For if any of the inn shou'd find we have a
poet in our company, the whole neighbourhood wou'd be rais'd, and we
shou'd dye martyrs for a wrong opinion: If nothing else will make you
pity us, think of the galery and bath you came from": when I had
treated him after this rate, the good natur'd Gito, correcting me,
said, I did very ill to rail at a man so much my elder; and that
having offer'd a gentleman the curtsie of my table, I shou'd not so
far forget good breeding, to affront him when he came: With many the
like expressions, attended with a blush at their delivery, that
extreamly became him.
"Happy the woman," said Eumolpus, "that's blest with such a son!
Heaven encrease your virtue: so much sense, and so much beauty we
seldom meet with in any one person: But, lest you shou'd think your
civility thrown away, you have found a lover for it: I'll give the
world your praises in verse: I'll be your servant, your gardian, and
will follow you every where: Nor can Encolpius think himself injur'd,
he loves another."
Eumolpus was oblig'd to the souldier that robb'd me of my sword, else
I had turn'd the fury upon him I meant for Ascyltos: Gito reading it
in my countenance, under pretence of fetching water, prudently
withdrew: And allay'd my heat, by removing one cause of it: But my
rage reviving, "Eumolpus," said I, "I had rather have heard even your
verses, that you propose to your self such hopes: I am very
passionate, and you are very lustful: Consider how improbable 'tis we
shou'd agree; believe therefore I am mad, and humour the phrenzy; that
is, be gone immediately."
At this Eumolpus was in great confusion, and, without asking the
occasion of my passion, presently made out: But drawing the door after
him, what I did not in the least suspect, he lock'd me in, and
stealing the key out of the door, ran in pursuit of Gito.
The rage I was in to be so abus'd, put me upon hanging my self; and
having ty'd an apron, I found in the room, to the bed-stead, committed
my neck to the noose I had made with its strings: When Eumolpus and
Gito came to the door, and entering, prevented my design: Gito, his
grief growing to a rage, made a great out-cry, and forcing me on the
bed, "You're mistaken," said he, "Encolpius, if you fancy it possible
for you to dye before me: I was first in the design, and had not
surviv'd my choice of Ascyltos; if I had met with an instrument of
death: But had not you come to my relief in the bath, I had resolv'd
to throw my self out of the window: And that you may know how ready
death is to wait those that desire it: see--I've got what you so
lately endeavour'd."
Upon which, having snatch'd a rasor from Eumolpus's servant, he struck
three or four times 't his throat, and fell down before us: frightened
at the accident, I cry'd out, and falling upon him e're he had reached
the ground, with the same weapon, endeavoured to follow him: But
neither had Gito any appearance of a wound, nor did I feel my self
hurt: For it happen'd to be a dull rasor, design'dly made so, to
prepare learners of the art to handle a sharper which was the reason
Eumolpus did not offer to prevent our mimick deaths, nor his man look
concern'd when the rasor was snatch'd from him.
While this scene was acting, the inn-keeper came in upon us, with the
other part of our supper; and viewing the obscene posture we were in,
"I beseech you, sirs," said he, "are ye drunk, or have fled justice,
and are acting it on your selves, or both? ho! who was going to make a
gibet of the bed? What private designs are here on foot? What--was
your going out but now with intent to bilke me? But you shall feel
fo't: I'll soon make ye know who rules here."
"What, you rascal," crys Eumolpus, "do you threat too?" And without
more ado flung his fist in his face: The inn-keeper took up an earthen
pitcher we so oft had empty'd, and sending it at Eumolpus, broke his
forehead, and immediately ran down stairs: Eumolpus, impatient of
revenge, snatching up a great wooden candlestick, made after him; and
pouring his blows very thick on the inn-keeper, repair'd the injury
with interest: This alarm'd the whole house, and whilst the rest of
his guess, that by this time were most of 'em drunk; ran to see what
was the matter, taking an opportunity to revenge the injury Eumolpus
had offer'd me, I lock'd him out; and turning thus his trick upon
himself, at once, enjoy'd the bed and board without a rival.
In the mean time, the islanders (that came in at the bustle) and cooks
with all their kitchin artillery set upon Eumolpus: One throws at his
head a hot spit with the meat on't; another with a pitchfork puts
himself in a martial posture against him; but especially a blear-ey'd
old woman, who tucking up the dirty apron she had about her, with one
shoe on, and another off, hall'd a great mastiff and set him at
Eumolpus: But with the wooden candlestick he defended himself against
all his enemies.
We saw all through a hole they had made by wrenching the latch from
the door: I wish'd him well you may imagine; but Gito had compassion
and wou'd have succour'd the distrest Eumolpus; upon which, my rage
continuing, I gave his pitying head two or three blows with my fist;
he sate down on the bed and cry'd: but I so eagerly ply'd the hole, I
made my eyes relieve each other; and, encouraging the people against
him, with great satisfaction beheld the conflict: when the bailiff of
the island, one Bargates, whom the scuffle had rais'd from supper; was
brought into the room, supported by others legs, for he was troubl'd
with the gout, he cou'd not use his own: And having in his clownish
manner, with a great deal of heat, made a long harangue against
drunkards and vagabonds, looking on Eumolpus, "ha! what is it you,"
says he, "the excellent poet? What--has these rogues been abusing you
all this while?" At what time he goes up to Eumolpus, and in a
whisper, "I have a maid," says he, "that flouts at me when I ask her
the question; prithee, if you have any love for me, abuse her in a
copy of verses till she's ashamed of her self."
While Eumolpus was thus ingag'd with Bargates, the cryer of the town,
and some other officer, attended with a great concourse of people,
entred the inn; and, shaking a smoaky rather than lighted torch he
carried, mouths out this; viz.
NOT LONG AGO, RUN AWAY FROM THE BATH, A VERY PRETTY BOY, WITH CURL'D
HAIR, BY NAME, GITO.
IF ANY MAN, OR WOMAN, IN CITY, OR COUNTRY CAN TELL TALE OR TIDINGS OF
HIM, SHALL HAVE FOR HIS REWARD 1000 SESTERCES.
Not far from the cryer, stood Ascyltos, clad with a coat of many
colours; who, to incourage any discoverer, held the reward in a silver
charger before him.
Upon this, I order'd Gito to steal under the bed, and thrust his feet
and hands through the cords that, as Ulysses formerly hid in a sheeps
hide, so extended he might cheat the searchers.
Gito immediately obey'd the motion, and fixing himself, as I directed,
out-did Ulysses in his native art: But, that I might leave no room for
suspicion, I so disposed the bed-cloaths, that none could believe more
than my self had lain there.
We had just done, when Ascyltos, with a beadle, having search'd the
other chambers, came to ours, which gave him greater hopes, because he
found the door so barr'd: But the petty officer he brought, with an
iron crow, forc'd it open.
Upon Ascyltos's entry, I threw my self at his feet, and beseech'd him,
if he had any memory of our past friendship; or any respect for one
that had shar'd misfortunes with him, he wou'd at least let me see the
still dear Gito: And to give my sham-intreaties a better colour, "I
see," says I, "Ascyltos, you are come with designs on my life; for to
what other end could you bring those ministers of justice? Therefore
satisfie your rage, behold my naked bosom, let out that blood, which,
under pretence of a search, you come to seek."
Ascyltos, now laying aside his old grudge to me; profess'd he came in
pursuit of nothing but Gito, that had run from him; nor desir'd the
death of any man, much more of one that falls before him; and whom,
after a fatal quarrel with him, he held most dear.
The petty officer was not so easie to me, for taking a stick out of
the inn-keeper's hand, he felt under the bed with it, and run it into
every hole he found in the wall: Gito drew his body out of the stick's
way, and, breathing as gently as fear cou'd make him, held his mouth
close to the cords.
They were hardly gone, e're Eumolpus bounc'd in upon us, for the
broken door cou'd stop nobody, and, in a great heat, cry'd out, "I'll
earn the reward: I'll make after the Cryer, and let him know how soon
Gito may be in his custody."
Eumolpus pursuing his design, I kist his knees, and intreated him not
to anticipate the end of dying men; "you wou'd be justly angry," added
I, "if you shou'd discover to 'em how you are deceiv'd: The boy run
into the crowd undiscovered, and where he is gone, my self can't
suspect. I beseech you, Eumolpus, bring back the boy, or at least
restore him even to Ascyltos."
Just as I had worked him to a belief, Gito, with restraining his
breath, snees'd thrice so thoroughly, that he shook the bed; at which
Eumolpus, turning about, saluted him with, "God bless you, sir;" and,
taking the bedding aside, saw the little Ulysses, who might have
raised compassion, even in a blood-thirsty Cyclops: then looking upon
me, "Thou villain," says he, "how have you shamm'd me? Durst you not
tell truth, even when you was catch'd in a roguery? If some god, that
has the care of humane affairs, had not forc'd the boy to discover
himself, I had wander'd in search of him to a fine purpose." But
Gito, that cou'd fawn much better than I, took a cobweb dipt in oyl,
and apply'd to the wound in his forehead: And changing his torn coat
for his own mantle, imbrac'd the now reconcil'd Eumolpus, and stuck to
his lips: at last he spoke, and, "Our lives," said he, "most indulgent
father, our lives are in your power; if you love your Gito, convince
him that you do, by preserving him: O! could I now meet a grave in
flames or waves, that I, the only cause of all, might end your
quarrels."
Eumolpus, concern'd at our grief, and particularly mindful of Gito's
tenderness to him; "surely," says he, "y'are the greatest of fools,
who have souls enrich'd with virtues, that may make ye happy, yet live
a continu'd martyrdom, raising to your selves every day new occasions
of grief; I, wherever I am, make my life as pleasant and free from
trouble, as if I expected no more of it: If you'll imitate me, never
let cares disturb your quiet. And to avoid Ascyltos that haunts ye in
these parts, I am taking a voyage to a foreign country, and shou'd be
glad of your company: I believe to morrow night I shall go on board
the vessel: I am very well known there, and you need not doubt of a
civil entertainment."
His advice appear'd to me both wise and profitable; for at once it
deliver'd me from Ascyltos, and gave me hopes of living more happy:
Thus oblig'd by Eumolpus's good nature, I was sorry for the late
injury I had done him, and began to repent I appear'd his rival, since
it had occasion'd so many disasters.
At last, with tears, I beseech'd him to be friends with me too, for
that it was not in a rival's power to bound his rage; yet, that I
wou'd try neither to say, or do any thing that may offend him: and
hop'd so wise and good a man as he, wou'd leave in his mind no sign of
a former quarrel: for 'twas with men as with countrys, on rude
neglected grounds snows lay very long, but where the fruitful earth
was improv'd by culture, they presently melt off, and hardly leave a
print behind: Thus unfashion'd minds can't discharge their passions
suddenly, but where souls are inrich'd with instruction, they but
appear and vanish.
"And to confirm the truth of what you say," return'd Eumolpus, "all my
heat expires in this kiss; but, to prevent the designs of your
enemies, hasten with your wallets, and either follow me, or, if ye
like it, act the leaders."
He had not done speaking, when, hearing the door move, we turn'd
about, and saw a seaman, with a beard that made him appear terribly
grim: who saluted Eumolpus with a "Why dy'e stay, as if you did not
know how near the time 'twas?"
All immediately prepared for the march, Eumolpus loads his servants,
who had been all this while asleep; I, and Gito, pack'd our things
together, and, thanking our stars, enter'd the vessel.
We fixt our selves, as much out of the way as we could, under deck:
and it being not yet day, Eumolpus fell a-sleep: I, and Gito, cou'd
not take a wink: when reflecting afresh, that I had harbour'd in my
acquaintance, a rival more powerful than Ascyltos; I began to be much
troubled: but wisely allaying my grief, I thus reason'd with my self:
Is it so troublesom to share what we love? when the best of nature's
works are in common? The sun throws his rays on all. The moon, with
her infinite train of stars, serves to light even beasts to their
fodder: What below can boast an excellence of nature above the waters?
Yet they flow in publick for the use of all: only love seems sweeter
stol'n than when it's given us: so it is, we esteem nothing, unless
'tis envy'd by others; but what have I to fear in a rival, that age
and impotence conspire to render disagreeable? Who, when he has an
inclination, his body jades under him before he can reach the goal.
When I had cheated my self with this assurance, I muffled my head in
my coat, and feign'd my self asleep: but on a sudden, as if fortune
had resolv'd to ruin my quiet; I heard one above deck groaning out:
"And has he scorn'd me?" This struck me with a trembling, for it was
a man's voice, and one I was afraid I knew: but at a greater distance,
with the same heat, I heard a woman lamenting: "O that some god," said
she, "wou'd bring my Gito to my arms; tho' he banish'd himself thence;
how kindly wou'd I receive him!"
So unexpected a thing drove the colour from our cheeks; I especially,
as in a trance, was a long time speechless; when, trembling with fear,
I pull'd Eumolpus by the coat, who was now asleep; and "I beseech you,
father," said I, "do you know the owner of this vessel, or who the
passengers are?" He was very angry to be disturbed: "And was it for
this reason," said he, "that we chose the most private place in the
ship; that none but your self might disturb us: or what will it
signifie if I tell you, that one Lycas a Tarentine owns her, and is
carrying one Tryphœna to Tarentum?"
For a while I stood like one thunder-struck, when opening my bosom, I
trembling, cry'd out; "At last, Fortune, you have ruin'd every part of
me:" for Gito, my better half, lean'd on my breast, as if he had
breath'd his last: when our sweating through fear, had a little
recover'd our spirits: I fell at Eumolpus feet, and intreated him to
have compassion of two dying wretches: that is, to assist us in the
means of escaping the impending mischief: "Tho' death," I added,
"wou'd be more grateful to us, if the happiness of enjoying you, did
not make us envy life."
Eumolpus was glad to serve us, and swore by all that's sacred, he was
privy to no design against us; and that he had very innocently brought
us hither, for no other end, than for our company, having hir'd the
vessel before he was acquainted with us: "But what designs on your
lives are here?" added he, "Or have we a pyrate Hannibal on board?"
"Lycas," continued he, "a very honourable man, is not only master and
owner of this vessel, but of a good estate, and having inclinations to
traffick, freights his vessel himself: Is this the terrible Cyclops?
Is this the dreadful cut-throat, we must pay our carriage to? And
besides him, is the beautiful Tryphœna that other emblem of
terrour, who for her pleasure only goes with Lycas."
"These are the very two," reply'd Gito, "we strove to avoid": and, in
a low voice, made Eumolpus, that trembled at the story, at once
understand the occasions of their malice to us, and our present
danger.
Eumolpus was so distracted in his thoughts, he cou'd not advise, but
bid each of us give him his opinion; "And presume," says he, "we had
just enter'd the Cyclops den, where Jove's thunderbolts are made. We
must seek a means of delivery, except we design to free us from all
danger, by sinking the vessel."
"No, no," began Gito, "rather offer the pilot a reward, to direct the
vessel to some port: and affirm the sea so disagrees with your friend,
that if he is not so kind, you fear he'll dye: you may colour the
pretence with tears, and appear much concern'd, that, mov'd with
compassion, the pilot may befriend you."
Eumolpus reply'd, that could not be effected, for not only the
difficulty of guiding so great a ship to a port, but a suspicion he
wou'd necessarily have, that his friend cou'd not be so suddenly very
ill, conspir'd against it: Then next perhaps, Lycas wou'd have a
curiosity to visit his sick passenger: "Can you propose to escape by a
means that will discover ye to him ye'd avoid? But presuming the ship
cou'd be stopt in her rapid course, and that Lycas shou'd not visit
his sick on board: How can we get out, but all must see us? With our
heads muffled, or bare? If cover'd, we move every one to lend a hand
to sick persons; if bare, we discover our selves."
"A desperate disease," said I, "must have a desperate cure; I know no
better expedient of our delivery, than to slide into the long boat,
and cutting the cord, leave the rest to Fortune: Nor do I desire
Eumolpus to share the danger: For what wou'd it signifie to involve an
innocent person in other mens deserv'd misfortunes? We shall think
our selves happy, if Fortune be kind."
"'Twas not ill advised," said Eumolpus, "if it cou'd be done; for do
you think to stir in the ship unobserved, when the distant motion of
the stars themselves can't escape the pilot's diligence? You must
pass the only guarded part of the ship near which place the rope that
holds the boat is tyed: Besides, Encolpius, I wonder you did not
remember that one seaman was upon constant duty night and day in the
boat it self; nor will be mov'd from his post, without you cut his
throat, or fling him overboard; which consider whether you can dare
attempt; for my part, to go with you I would refuse no danger that
could give me the least hopes of getting off; but to put so low a
value on life, to throw it away as a useless thing, I believe even
your selves are unwilling: Hear whether you like my proposal; I'll put
ye into two mantles I have here, and making holes to breathe and eat
through, will place you amongst my other goods for baggage, next
morning I allarm the whole ship, crying out, my servants, fearing a
greater punishment, in the night jump into the sea; that when the ship
made to land, I might carry you off for baggage."
"Very well," said I, "but do you design to tye us as stocks, within
which nature does not labour to be freed; or as those that use to
sneeze and snore? Or, because I once succeeded in a like deceit? But
suppose we cou'd hold out a day so ty'd up, what shall we do if we're
put to't longer? Will the thoughts of a quiet life without cares, or
of our adverse fortune entertain us most? our very cloaths long bound
up will rot upon our backs: Can we, d'ye think, that are young, and
not inur'd to labour, endure to be clad like statues, and wear our
cords as insensibly? Since we are yet to seek a way of escape, for no
proposal has been made without an objection; see what I have thought
on: The studious Eumolpus, I presume, never goes unfurnisht with ink;
is there a better expedient, than washing our hands, face, and hair,
with that, to appear like Æthiopian slaves? when without wringing
our limbs, we can't but be merry, to act a cheat, that so nearly
imposes on our enemies?"
"And why would you not have us circumcis'd too," interrupted Gito,
"that we may appear like Jews; and have our ears bor'd, to persuade
them we came from Arabia? and why did not you advise our faces to be
chalk'd as well as ink'd, that we might pass for Frenchmen, as if our
colour would make such a mighty alteration? Has a foreigner but one
mark of distinction? Can you think anybody so ignorant to mistake you
for one, by that sign only? Grant our dawb'd faces wou'd keep their
colour: Suppose it wou'd not wash off, nor our cloaths stick to the
ink, how can we imitate their black swollen lips? the short curl of
their hair? the seams on their foreheads? their circular way of
treading? their splay feet? or the mode of their beards? an artificial
colour rather stains than alters the body; but, if you'll be rul'd by
a madman, let's cover our heads, and jump into the sea?"
"Nor Heaven nor man," cry'd Eumolpus, "cou'd suffer ye make so ill an
end; rather pursue this advice: My slave, as you may imagine by his
rasor, is a piece of a barber; let him shave not only your heads, but,
as a mark of greater punishment, your eye-brows too, and Ill finish
your disguise with an inscription on your foreheads, that you may
appear as slaves branded for some extraordinary villany: Thus the same
letters will at once divert their suspicion, and conceal your
countenance under the mask of punishment."
We lik'd the advice, and hasten'd the execution, when stealing to the
side of the vessel, we committed our heads and eye-brows to the
barber: Eumolpus in the meantime fill'd our foreheads with great
letters, and very liberally dispenc'd the known marks of fugitives
through the other parts of our faces; one of the passengers, easing
his o're-charg'd stomach o're the side of the ship, by the moon
perceiving the reflection of a barber busie at so unseasonable a time,
and, cursing the omen that he thought presag'd a shipwreck, ran to his
hammock, upon which we dissembled the same, but indeed had an equal
though different concern; and the noise over, we spent the rest of the
night without resting much.
The next day Eumolpus, when he found Tryphœna was stirring, went to
visit Lycas; and after he had talk'd with him about the happy voyage
he hop'd from the clearness of the heavens, Lycas, turning to
Tryphœna, "Methoughts," said he, "about midnight the vision of
Priapus appear'd to me, and told me, he had lately brought into my
ship Encolpius that I sought for": Tryphœna was startl'd, "And
you'd swear we slept together," reply'd she, "for methoughts the image
of Neptune having struck his trident thrice against the Bajœ, told
me that in Lycas' ship I shou'd meet my Gito."
"Hence, proceeds," said Eumolpus, interrupting 'em, "that veneration I
pay the divine Epicurus, who so wittily has discovered such illusions.
"When in a dream presented to our view,
Those airy forms appear so like the true;
Nor heaven nor hell the fancy'd visions sends,
But every breast its own delusion lends:
For when soft sleep the body wraps in ease,
And from th' unactive mass our fancy frees,
Whatever 'tis in which we take delight,
And think of most by day, we dream at night.
Thus he, the now sackt city justly fear'd,
Who all around had death and ruin shar'd.
From fancy'd darts believes a darkned sky,
And troops retreating in confusion fly:
There the sad funeral pomp of kings; here
Conscious plains, half drown'd in blood, appear
He that by day has nois'd it at the bar,
Of knaves and fools now sees the great resort,
And to meet justice vainly fears in court.
Misers amidst their heaps are raising new,
And think they oft their old hid treasure view.
And huntsmen the imagin'd chace pursue.
The merchant dreams of wrecks, the ship wou'd save,
Or now, by sinking it, himself preserve.
The mistress to her distant lover writes;
And, as awake, with flames and darts indites:
The good wife dreaming of her stallion's charms,
Oft seeks the pleasure in her cuckold's arms.
Dogs on full cry, in sleep, the hare pursue,
And hapless wretches their old griefs renew."
But Lycas, when he had thank'd his stars for their care of him, "That
we may not seem," said he, "to condemn the divine powers, what hinders
but we search the vessel?"
Upon which one Æsius, the passenger that had discover'd us by our
reflection in the water, cry'd out, "these are the men that were
shav'd by moonshine to night. Heaven avert the omen! I thought the
ceremony of cutting the nails and hair, was never perform'd but as a
solemn sacrifice to appease a storm."
"Is 't so," says Lycas, in a great heat, "did any in the ship offer to
shave themselves, and at midnight too? Bring 'em quickly hither, that
I may know who they are that deserve to die a sacrifice for our
safety."
"'Twas I," quoth Eumolpus, "commanded it, not wishing ill to the ship,
but ease to my self; for they are my slaves, and having long staring
hairs, I order'd the uncomely sight to be taken away; not only that I
might not seem to make a prison of the ship; but that the mark of
their villany might more plainly appear; and to let you know how
richly they deserve the punishment; among other rogueries, they rob'd
me of a considerable sum of money, and spent it with all the luxury of
rich debauches, on a trull that was at both their services, whom I
catcht them with last night. In short, they yet smell of the wine
they profusely gave themselves with my money."
Lycas, that the offenders might atone for their crime, order'd each of
them forty stripes; we were immediately brought to the place of
execution; where the enrag'd seamen set upon us with ropes-ends, and
try'd to offer our blood a sacrifice for their safety. I bore three
stripes very heroically. Gito, who had not so much passive valour at
the first blow, set up such an out-cry that the known sound of his
voice reach'd Tryphœna's ear; who in great disorder attended with
her maids, that were all like her self surpriz'd at the voice, run to
the sufferer.
Gito's admirable beauty had soften'd their rage, and seem'd without
speaking to intreat their favour; when the maids unanimously cry'd
out, "'tis Gito, 'tis Gito; hold your barbarous hands, help madam,
'tis Gito!"
Tryphœna to their cry inclin'd her ears, that already had
anticipated her belief, and with eager haste flew to the boy.
Upon which Lycas that knew me very well, as much satisfied as he had
heard my voice, ran to me, and taking my other parts on content, sed
contiguo ad inguina mea luminibus deflexis movit officiosam manum
"your servant Encolpius," says he, "'twill be no wonder how Euryclea
that nurs'd Ulysses, at his return after twenty years absence, shou'd
know him by a scar on his forehead, when 'tis consider'd, the most
discreet Lycas, not beholden to the marks of any seen part of the
body, so judiciously discover'd me by the most hid:" Tryphœna,
having cheated herself into a belief that those marks of slavery we
wore on our foreheads were real, wept; and began in a low voice, to
inquire what prison cou'd stop us in our rambles; or whose cruel hands
cou'd finish such a punishment without reluctancy. "I confess," added
she, "they deserve some punishment with whom their masters are so
justly angry."
Lycas was in great heat at Tryphœna's tenderness. "And thou
foolish woman," said he, "can you believe, those marks were cut before
the ink was laid? We should be too happy were those stains not to be
rub'd off, and had justly been, as they design'd us, the subject of
their laughter, if we had suffer'd our selves to be so grossly impos'd
on in a sham inscription."
Tryphœna, who was not yet unmindful of our former amours, wou'd
have pity'd us. When Lycas, still resenting the abuse he received in
his vitiated wife, and the affronts at the porch of Hercules' temple,
with greater rage cry'd out, "I thought you had been convinc'd,
Tryphœna, that Heaven has the care of humane affairs, when it not
only brought our enemies into our power, which they strove to avoid,
but reveal'd it in a vision to us both; see what you'l get by
pardoning them, whom Heaven it self has brought to punishment, for my
part, I am not naturally so cruel, but am afraid the judgment I shou'd
prevent from justly falling upon others, may light on my own head."
This superstitious harangue, turn'd Tryphœna from hindring our
punishment to hasten its execution. When she began afresh as highly
to resent the former affronts that was offer'd her, as Lycas did the
repute of his modesty that he had lost in the peoples esteem.
When Lycas found Tryphœna was with himself eagerly inclin'd to
revenge, he order'd to increase our punishments, which when Eumolpus
perceiv'd, he endeavour'd to mitigate after this manner.
"I pity the wretches," said he, "that lie at your mercy. Lycas, they
implore your compassion, and choosing me as a man not altogether
unknown to 'em to perform the office, desire to be reconcil'd to them
they once held most dear. Can you believe, 'twas by accident they
fell into your hands, when all passengers make it their chief business
to enquire to whose care they are to trust themselves? When you are
satisfied of their intentions, can you be so barbarous to continue
your revenge, but suffer free-born men to go uninjur'd where they have
design'd. Even barbarous and implacable masters allay their cruelty
when their slaves repent; and all give quarter to the enemy that
surrenders himself. What can you, or will you desire more? You have
at your feet repenting supplicants; they're gentlemen, and men of
worth; and what's more prevailing than both, were once caress'd as
your dearest friends. Had they rob'd you of your money, or betray'd
your trust, by Hercules the punishment they've inflicted on themselves
might have satisfied your rage; don't you see the marks of slaves on
their faces; who, though free, to attone their injuries to you,
proscrib'd themselves."
"To avoid confusion," interrupted Lycas, "give me a reason for all
particulars as I shall ask you; and first, if they came with design to
surrender themselves, why did they cut off their hair? for all
disguises are assum'd rather to deceive than satisfie the injur'd.
"Next, if they expected to ingratiate them selves by their
embassadour, why have you endeavoured in everything, to conceal them
you were to speak for? whence it plainly appears, 'twas by accident
the offenders were brought to punishment, and that you have us'd this
artifice to divert our suspicion. Sure you thought to raise our envy,
by ringing in our ears, that they were gentlemen, and men of worth;
but have a care their cause don't suffer by your impudence; what
shou'd the injur'd do when the guilty come to 'em to be punisht? And
if they were my friends, they deserve to be more severely treated; for
he that wrongs a stranger is call'd a rogue, but he that serves a
friend so, is little less than a parricide."
"I am sencible," said Eumolpus, answering this dreadful harangue,
"that nothing cou'd happen to these unhappy young men more unfortunate
than the cutting their hair off at midnight, which is the only
argument that may perswade you to mistake their voluntary coming here,
for accidental; but I shall as candidly endeavour to undeceive you, as
it was innocently acted: before they imbarkt they had designs to ease
their heads of that, as troublesome as useless weight, but the
unexpected wind that hasten'd us on board, made 'em defer it; nor did
they suspect it to be of any moment where 'twas done, being equally
ignorant of the ill omen, and customs of mariners."
"What advantage," reply'd Lycas, "cou'd they propose to themselves by
the loss of their hair? unless they thought baldness might sooner
raise our compassion: Or can you believe I wou'd be satisfy'd in your
relation? when addressing himself to me, What poyson, said he, thou
villain, has eat your hair off? To what god have your sacrilegious
hands offer'd it?"
The fear of punishment struck me speechless; nor cou'd I find any
thing to urge in my defence against so plain an accusation. Then the
confusion I was in, my disfigur'd face, with the equal baldness of my
head and eye-brows, gave a ridiculous air to everything I said or did;
but when they wip'd us with a wet spunge, the letters melting into
one, spread o'er our faces such a sooty cloud that turn'd Lycas's rage
to a perfect loathing. Eumolpus cou'd not endure to see free-born men
against all law and justice so abus'd, and returning their threats
with blows, not only was our advocate but champion too. He was
seconded by his man, and two or three sick passengers appear'd our
friends, that serv'd rather to encourage us, than encrease our force.
Upon which I was so far from begging pardon, that without any respect
I held my fists at Tryphœna, and plainly told her she shou'd feel
me, if her lecherous ladiship, who only in the ship deserv'd to be
punisht, was not content to decline her pretentions to Gito.
The angry Lycas was all rage at my impudence; and very impatient of
revenge when he found, without any concern for my own cause, I stood
up for another's.
Nor was Tryphœna less disturb'd at my contempt of her; at what time
every one in the vessel choose his side and put himself in a posture
of defence.
On our side Eumolpus's slave distributed the instruments of his trade,
and reserv'd a razor to defend his own person; on the other,
Tryphœna and her attendants advanc'd, armed with nothing but their
nails and tongues; which last supply'd the want of drums in their
army; when the pilot, crying out, threaten'd he wou'd leave the ship
to the mercy of the waves if they continued the bustle rais'd about
the lust of two or three vagabonds.
This did not in the least retard the fight; they pressing for revenge,
we for our lives: in short, many fell half dead on both sides; others
withdrew, as from greater armies, to be drest of their wounds; yet
this damps not the rage of either side.
Then the bold Gito, drawing out that part of him Tryphœna most
admired, clapt a bloody razor to't, and threaten'd to cut away the
cause of all our misfortunes, but Tryphœna did not faintly send to
prevent so cruel an act: I often offer'd at my throat too, but with as
little design to kill my self as Gito to do what he threaten'd: he the
more boldly handl'd his because he knew it to be the same blunt razor
he had us'd before; which made Tryphœna very apprehensive of his
tragic intentions.
Upon this, both sides drew up their ranks, when the pilot perceiving
how commical a war it was, with much ado was perswaded to let
Tryphœna dispatch an herald to capitulate: Articles immediately
according to the custom of countries being mutually agreed off on both
sides; Tryphœna snatcht an olive-branch, the ensign of peace, that
stuck to the image of prosperity pictur'd in the ship, and holding it
in the midst of us, thus addrest her self.
"What fury did these sudden broils engage,
How have their guiltless hands deserv'd your rage?
No Paris a stol'n dame to Troy conveys,
No witch Media here her brother slays:
But slighted love must needs resenting be:
And midst the waves who is the raging he
Now rob'd of arms that can attempt my fate?
By whom is simple death so little thought?
Let not your murderous rage out storm the seas,
And dangers of the angry waves increase."
When in a great heat Tryphœna had thus said, both armies stood
still a while, and reviving the treaty of peace, put a stop to the
war. Our captain Eumolpus prudently us'd the occasion of her
repentance, and having first severely chastiz'd Lycas, sign'd the
articles, which were as follow.
"Tryphœna, you do from the bottom of your heart, as you are in
perfect mind, promise never to complain of any injury you have
receiv'd from Gito; nor mention, upbraid him with, or study to revenge
directly or indirectly any action of his before this day; and to
prevent your forcing him to an unwilling compliance, be it further
agreed, that you never kiss, coll, or bring him to a closer hug,
without the forfeiture of 100 denarii: And for better security, that
you always pay your mony, before you have your ware.
"Item, you Lycas, from the bottom of your heart, as you are in perfect
mind; do promise never to reproach, or insultingly treat Encolpius,
either in words, or gestures: But, on the forfeiture of 200 denarii
for each time you abuse him, behind his back."
Conditions thus agreed on, we laid down our arms: And, least any
grudge might still remain, wipe off the memory of all things past, in
repeated kisses.
All quarrels expir'd in universal shouts, and a sumptuous banquet that
followed, spread equal mirth through the whole company: The vessel
rung with songs, the ensigns of their joy: and the occasion of a
sudden calm, gave other diversions: Here a little artist bob'd for
fish, that rising, seem'd with haste to meet their ruin: There another
draws the unwilling prey, that he had betray'd on the hook, with an
inviting bait: When looking up, we saw sea-birds sitting on the
sail-yard, about which, one skill'd in that art having plac'd
lime-twigs, made 'em his booty. Their downy feathers, the air whirl'd
about: The other, the sea vainly tost too and fro.
Now Lycas began to be friends with me: and Tryphœna, as a mark of
her love, threw the bottom of her wine upon Gito: At what time,
Eumolpus, quite drunk, aim'd at rallery on those that were bald and
branded; till having spent his life-less stock, he return'd to his
verses; and designing an elegy on the loss of hair, thus began.
Nature's chief ornament, the hair is lost,
Those vernal locks, feel winter's blast:
Now the bald temples mown their banish'd shade,
And bristles shine o' the sun-burnt head.
The joys, deceitful nature does first pay
Our age, it snatches first away.
Unhappy mortal, that but now
The lovely grace of hair, did'st know:
Bright as the sun's or Cynthia's beams,
Now worse than brass, and only seems
Like th' mushroom, that in gardens springs.
From sporting girls, you'll frighted run,
And that death will the sooner come:
Know that part of your head is gone.
He wou'd have condemn'd us to hear more, and I believe worse than the
former; if an attendant of Tryphœna, had not disturb'd him: who
taking Gito aside, dress'd him up in her mistresses tower; and to
restore him perfectly to his former figure, drawing false eye-brows
out of her patch-box, placed 'em so exactly, Nature might have
mistaken 'em for her own work.
At the sight of the true Gito, Tryphœna wept for joy: Who, not
before, cou'd hug him with so real a satisfaction.
I was glad to see his loss so well repair'd: Yet, often hid my head,
as sensible I appear'd with no common deformity, whom even Lycas
thought not worth speaking to: But 'twas not long e'er the same maid
came to my relief, and calling me aside, dress'd me in a peruke no
less agreeable: for being of golden locks, it rather improv'd my
complexion.
But, Eumolpus, our advocate, and reconciler, to entertain the company,
and keep up the mirth, began to be pleasant on the inconstancy of
women: how forward they were to love, how soon they forgot their
sparks: and that no woman was so chast, but her untry'd lust, might be
rais'd to a fury: nor wou'd he bring instances from ancient tragedies,
or personages celebrated in antiquity: but entertain us, if we wou'd
please to hear, with a story within the circle of his own memory: upon
which the eyes and ears of all were devoted to him: who thus began.
"There was at Ephesus a lady, of so celebrated virtue, that the women
of neighbouring nations came to join their admiration with that of her
own country: This lady at the death of her husband not content with
tearing her hair, or beating her breast, those common expressions of
grief; but following him into the vault, where the body plac'd in a
monument, she, after the Græcian custom, watch'd the corps, and
whole nights and days continu'd weeping; the perswasions of parents
nor relations cou'd divert her grief, or make her take anything to
preserve life, the publick officers at last, she guarding the body for
'em, left the vault; and lamented by all for so singular an example of
grief, liv'd thus five days without eating.
"All left her but a faithful maid, who with tears supply'd her
afflicted lady, and as often as the lamp they had by, began to expire,
renew'd the light; by this time she became the talk of the whole town;
and all degrees of men confest, she was the only true example of love
and chastity.
"In the meantime there happening a trial of criminals, the condemn'd
were order'd to be crucify'd near the vault in which the lady was
weeping o're the corps of her late husband. The soldier that guarded
the bodies lest any might be taken from the cross and bury'd, the
night after observ'd a light in the vault, and hearing the groans of
some afflicted person, prest with a curiosity common to mankind, he
desired to know, who, or what it was? Upon which he enter'd the
vault, and seeing a very beautiful woman, amaz'd at first, he fancy'd
'twas a spirit, but viewing the dead body, and considering her tears
and torn face, he soon guest, as it was, that the lady cou'd not bear
the loss of her husband: he brings his supper with him into the vault,
and began to perswade the mournful lady not to continue her
unnecessary grief, nor with vain complaints consume her health: That
death was common to all men; and many other things he told her, that
use to restore afflicted persons to that calmness they before enjoy'd:
But she mov'd anew at the comfort a stranger offer'd, redoubl'd her
grief, and tearing her hair, cast it on the body that lay before her.
"The souldier however did not withdraw, but with the like invitations
offer'd her somewhat to eat, till her maid o'recome, I presume, by the
pleasing scent of the wine, no longer cou'd resist the soldier's
courtesie. When refresht with the entertainment she began to join her
perswasions to win her lady; 'and what advantage,' began she, 'wou'd
you reap in starving your self? in burying your self alive? What
wou'd it signifie to anticipate your fate?'
"'D'ye think departed souls will value it?'
"'Will you, madam, in spite of Fate, revive your husband? Or will you
shake off these vain complaints, the marks of our sex's weakness, and
enjoy the world while you may? The very body that lyes there might
make you envy life. We don't unwillingly obey when we're commanded to
eat or live.' The lady now dry with so long fasting, suffer'd her self
to be o'recome; nor was she less pleas'd with her entertainment, than
her maid, that first surrendered. You know with what thoughts
encouraging meats inspire young persons. With the same charms our
souldier had won her to be in love with life, he addrest himself as a
lover; nor did his person appear less agreeable to the chaste lady,
than his conversation; and the maid, to raise her opinion of him, thus
apply'd her self:
"And arm'd with pleasing love dare you ingage,
E're you consider in whose tents you are?"
"To make short; nor even in this cou'd the lady deny him any thing:
Thus our victorious souldier succeeded in both; she receiv'd his
imbraces; not only that night they struck up the bargain, but the next
and third day: Having shut the door of the vault, that if any of her
acquaintances or strangers had come out of curiosity to see her, they
might have believ'd the most chaste of all women, had expir'd on the
body of her husband. Our souldier was so taken with his beautiful
mistress, and the privacy of injoying her, that the little money he
was master of, he laid out for her entertainment, and, as soon as
'twas night, convey'd it into the vault.
"In the mean time the relations of one of the malefactors, finding the
body unguarded, drew it from the cross and bury'd it. The souldier
thus rob'd while he was in the vault, the next day, when he perceiv'd
one of the bodies gone, dreading the punishment, he told the lady what
had happened; and, added that with his sword he wou'd prevent the
judges sentence; if so be she wou'd please to give him burial, and
make that place at once the fatal monument of a lover and a husband.
"'The lady, not less merciful than chast; 'Nor wou'd Heaven allow,'
said she, 'that I shou'd at once feel the loss of the only two in the
world I hold most dear; I'd rather hang up the dead body of the one,
than be the wicked instrument of the other's death.' Upon which she
order'd her husband's body to be taken out of the coffin, and fixt to
the cross, in the room of that which was wanting: Our souldier pursued
the directions of the discreet lady, and the next day the people
wonder'd for what reason that body was hung on the cross."
The seamen were pleas'd with the story. Tryphœna not a little
asham'd, lovingly apply'd her cheek to Gito's, and hid her blushes:
but Lycas wore an air of displeasure, and knitting his brows, said he,
"if the governour had been a just man, he ought to have restor'd the
husband's body to his monument, and hung the woman on the cross." I
don't doubt it made him reflect on his own wife, and the whole scene
of our lust when we rob'd his vessel. But the articles he agreed to,
oblig'd him not to complain; and the mirth that ingag'd us gave him no
opportunity to vent his rage.
Tryphœna entertain'd her self in Gito's arms, pressing oft his neck
with eager kisses, and oft disposing his new ornament, to make it
appear more agreeable to his face.
At this I was not a little out of humour, and impatient of our new
league, cou'd neither eat nor drink any thing: but with side-looks
wisht a thousand curses on them both; every kiss and every look she
gave him, wounded me. Nor did I yet know whether I had more reason to
repent the loss of my mistress, or my comrade; he having rob'd me of
her; and she deluded him from my arms: Both were worse than death to
me. And to compleat my misery, neither Tryphœna spoke to me as her
acquaintance, and once grateful lover; nor did Gito think me worth
drinking to; or what's the least he cou'd, common discourse with him:
I believe he was tender of the new return of her favours, and afraid
to give her another occasion to fall out with him: Grief forc'd a
flood of tears from my eyes, and I stifl'd my complaints, till I was
ready to expire.
When Lycas perceiv'd how well, tho' in this trouble my yellow ornament
became me, he was inflam'd afresh; and viewing me with lovers eyes,
addressed himself as such, when laying aside the haughty brow of a
master, he put on the tender complacency of a friend: but his
endeavours were fruitless. At last meeting with an intire repulse,
his love turning to a fury, he endeavour'd to ravish the favours he
could not win by intreaty; at what time Tryphœna unexpectedly came
in, and observing his wantonness; in the greatest confusion he hid his
head, and ran from her.
Upon which the more lustful Tryphœna askt, and made me tell her,
what those wanton caresses meant; she was inspired with new heat at
the relation; and mindful of our old amours, offer'd to revive our
former commerce; but worn off my legs with those employments, I gave
her invitations but an ill return; yet she with all the desires of a
woman transported by her passion, threw her arms about me, and so
closely lockt me in her imbraces, I was forc'd to cry out; one of her
maids came in at the noise, and easily believing I wou'd force from
her the favours I had deny'd her mistress, rusht between, and loos'd
the bands: Tryphœna meeting with such a repulse, and even raging
with desire, took it more grievous at my hands, and with threats at
her going off, flew to Lycas; not only to raise his resentments
against me, but to join with him in pursuit of revenge.
By the way observe, I had formerly been well receiv'd by this
attendant of Tryphœna, when I maintain'd a commerce with her
mistress, upon that score she resented my converse with Tryphœna,
and deeply sighing, made me eager to know the occasion; when she,
stepping back, thus began, "If you had any sparks of the gentleman in
you, you'd value her no more than a common prostitute; if you were a
man you wou'd not descend to such a jakes." These thoughts not a
little disturb'd her; but I was asham'd of nothing more, than that
Eumolpus, suspecting the occasion, shou'd in his next verses make our
suppos'd quarrel the subject of his drollery; and lest my care to
avoid it shou'd prove no means of discovering it.
When I was contriving how to prevent his suspicion, Eumolpus himself
came in, already acquainted with what was done; for Tryphœna had
communicated her grief to Gito, and endeavour'd at his cost to
compensate the injury I had offer'd her. Upon which Eumolpus was on
fire, and the more, because her wantonness was an open breach of the
articles she had sign'd.
When the old doctor saw me, pitying my misfortune, he desir'd to know
the whole scene from my self; I freely told him of the gamesomeness of
the lewd Lycas, and Tryphœna's lustful assault, that he was already
well inform'd of; upon which, in a solemn oath, he swore to vindicate
our cause, and that Heaven was too just to suffer so many crimes to go
unpunisht.
While we were thus ingag'd a storm arose; now thick clouds, and th'
inrag'd flood eclypst the day, the seamen fly to their posts as fast
as fear cou'd make 'em; and, pulling down the sails, leave the vessel
to the mercy of the tempest; for the uncertain winds made them
hopeless of any direct course; nor did the pilot know which way to
steer; sometimes the unguided ship was forc'd on the coast of Sicily,
often by contrary winds 'twas tost near Italy; and what was more
dangerous than all, on a sudden the gathering clouds spread such
horrid darkness all around, that the pilot cou'd not see over the
fore-castle; upon which all despair'd of safety; when Lycas threw
himself before me, and lifting up his trembling hands, "I beseech you
Encolpius," began he, "assist the distress'd, that is restore the
sacred vest and timbrel you took from the image of the goddess Isis;
be merciful as you are wont.'' At what time a whirlwind snatcht him
up, and threw him howling midst the flood, and soon a spiteful wave
just shew'd him us, and drew him back again.
Tryphœna, hastily taken up by her faithful attendants, and plac'd
with her chief goods in the skiff, avoided a most certain death.
I, lockt in Gito's arms, not without tears, cry'd out, "And this we
have merited of Heaven, that only death should joyn us; but even now I
fear fortune will be against it; for see the waves threaten to
o'erturn the vessel; and now the tempest comes to burst the lov'd
bands that unite us; therefore if you really love Encolpius, let's
kiss while we may, and snatch this last joy even in spite of our
approaching fate."