Nuns with similar names--Squaw Nuns--First visit to the
Cellar--Description of it--Shocking discovery there--Superior's
Instructions--Private Signal of the Priests--Books used in the
Nunnery--Opinions expressed of the Bible--Specimens of what I know of
the Scriptures.
I found that I had several namesakes among the nuns, for there were two
others who already bore my new name, Saint Eustace. This was not a
solitary case, for there were five Saint Marys, and three Saint Monros,
besides two novices of that name. Of my namesakes I have little to say,
for they resembled most of the nuns; being so much cut off from
intercourse with me and the other sisters, that I never saw anything in
them, nor learnt any thing about them, worth mentioning.
Several of my new companions were squaws, who had taken the veil at
different times. They were from some of the Indian settlements in the
country, but were not distinguishable by any striking habits of
character from other nuns, and were generally not very different in
their appearance when in their usual dress, and engaged in their
customary occupations. It was evident, that they were treated with much
kindness and lenity by the Superior and the old nuns; and this I
discovered was done in order to render them as well contented and happy
in their situation as possible. I should have attributed the motives
for this partiality to their wishing that they might not influence
others to keep away, had I not known they were, like ourselves, unable
to exert such an influence. And therefore, I could not satisfy my own
mind why this difference was made. Many of the Indians were remarkably
devoted to the priests, believing every thing they were taught; and as
it is represented to be not only a high honor, but a real advantage to
a family, to have one of its members become a nun, Indian parents will
often pay large sums of money for the admission of their daughters into
a convent. The father of one of the squaws, I was told, paid to the
Superior nearly her weight in silver on her reception, although he was
obliged to sell nearly all his property to raise the money. This he did
voluntarily, because he thought himself overpaid by having the
advantage of her prayers, self-sacrifices, &c. for himself and the
remainder of his family. The squaws sometimes served to amuse us; for
when we were partially dispirited or gloomy, the Superior would
occasionally send them to dress themselves in their Indian garments,
which usually excited us to merriment.
Among the squaw nuns whom I particularly remember, was one of the
Sainte Hypolites, not the one who figured in a dreadful scene,
described in another part of this narrative, but a woman of a far more
mild and humane character.
Three or four days after my reception, the Superior sent me into the
cellar for coal; and after she had given me directions, I proceeded
down a staircase, with a lamp in my hand. I soon found myself upon the
bare earth, in a spacious place, so dark, that I could not at once
distinguish its form, or size, but I observed that it had very solid
stone walls, and was arched overhead, at no great elevation. Following
my directions, I proceeded onward from the foot of the stairs, where
appeared to be one end of the cellar. After walking about fifteen
paces, I passed three small doors, on the right, fastened with large
iron bolts on the outside, pushed into posts of stone-work, and each
having a small opening above, covered with a fine grating, secured by a
smaller bolt. On my left, were three similar doors, resembling these,
and placed opposite them.
Beyond these, the space became broader; the doors evidently closed
small compartments, projecting from the outer wall of the cellar. I
soon stepped upon a wooden floor, on which were heaps of wool, coarse
linen, and other articles, apparently deposited there for occasional
use. I soon crossed the floor, and found the bare earth again under my
feet.
A little farther on, I found the cellar again contracted in size, by a
row of closets, or smaller compartments projecting on each side. These
were closed by doors of a different description from the first, having
a simple fastening, and no opening through them. Just beyond, on the
left side, I passed a staircase leading up, and then three doors, much
resembling those first described, standing opposite three more, on the
other side of the cellar. Having passed these, I found the cellar
enlarged as before, and here the earth appeared as if mixed with some
whitish substance, which attracted my attention.
As I proceeded, I found the whiteness increase, until the surface
looked almost like snow, and in a short time I observed before me, a
hole dug so deep into the earth that I could perceive no bottom. I
stopped to observe it.--It was circular, perhaps twelve or fifteen feet
across; in the middle of the cellar, and unprotected by any kind of
curb, so that one might easily have walked into it, in the dark.
The white substance which I had observed, was spread all over the
surface around it; and lay in such quantities on all sides, that it
seemed as if a great deal of it must have been thrown into the hole. It
immediately occurred to me that the white substance was lime, and that
this must be the place where the infants were buried, after being
murdered, as the Superior had informed me. I knew that lime is often
used by Roman Catholics in burying-places; and in this way I accounted
for its being scattered about the spot in such quantities.
This was a shocking thought to me; but I can hardly tell how it
affected me, as I had already been prepared to expect dreadful things
in the Convent, and had undergone trials which prevented me from
feeling as I should formerly have done in similar circumstances.
I passed the spot, therefore, with distressing thoughts, it is true,
about the little corpses, which might be in that secret burying-place,
but with recollections also of the declarations which I had heard,
about the favor done their souls by sending them straight to heaven,
and the necessary virtue accompanying all the actions of the priests.
Whether I noticed them or not, at the time, there is a window or two on
each, nearly against the hole, in at which are sometimes thrown
articles brought to them from without, for the use of the Convent.
Through the windows on my right, which opens into the yard, towards the
cross street, lime is received from carts; and I then saw a large heap
of it near the place.
Passing the hole, I came to a spot where was another projection on each
side, with three cells like those I first described.--Beyond them, in
another broad part of the cellar, were heaps of vegetables, and other
things, on the right; and on the left I found the charcoal I was in
search of. This was placed in a heap against the wall, as I might then
have observed, near a small high window, like the rest, at which it is
thrown in. Beyond this spot, at a short distance, the cellar terminated.
The top quite to that point, is arched overhead, though at different
heights, for the earth on the bottom is uneven, and in some places
several feet higher than in others.
Not liking to be alone in so spacious and gloomy a part of the Convent,
especially after the discovery I had made, I hastened to fill my basket
with coal, and to return.
Here then I was, in a place which I had considered as the nearest
imitation of heaven to be found on earth, among a society where deeds
were constantly perpetrated, which I had believed to be most criminal,
and I had now found the place in which harmless infants were
unfeelingly thrown out of sight, after being murdered.
And yet, such is the power of instruction and example, although not
satisfied, as many around me seemed to be, that all was righteous and
proper, I sometimes was half inclined to believe it, for the priests
could do no sin, and this was done by priests.
Among the first instructions I received from the Superior, were such as
prepared me to admit priests into the nunnery from the street at
irregular hours. It is no secret, that priests enter and go out; but if
they were to be watched by any person in St. Paul's street all day
long, no irregularity might be suspected; and they might be supposed to
visit the Convent for the performance of religious ceremonies merely.
But if a person was near the gate at midnight, he might sometimes form
a different opinion; for when a stray priest is shut out of the
Seminary, or is otherwise put to the need of seeking a lodging, he is
always sure of being admitted to the black nunnery. Nobody but a priest
or the physician can ring the bell at the sick-room door; much less can
any others gain admittance. The pull of the bell is entirely concealed,
somewhere on the outside of the gate, I have been told.
He makes himself known as a priest by a peculiar kind of hissing sound,
made by the tongue against the teeth, while they are kept closed, and
the lips open. The nun within, who delays to open the door, until
informed what kind of an applicant is there, immediately recognizes the
signal, and replies with two inarticulate sounds, such as are often
used instead of yes, with the mouth closed.
The Superior seemed to consider this part of my instructions quite
important, and taught me the signals. I had often occasion to use them;
I have been repeatedly called to the door, in the night, while watching
in a sick room, and on reaching it, heard the short hissing sound I
have mentioned; then, according to my standing orders, unfastened the
door, admitted the priest, who was at liberty to go where he pleased. I
will name Mr. Bierze, from St. Denis.
The books used in the nunnery, at least such as I recollect of them,
were the following. Most of these are lecture books, or such as are
used by the daily readers, while we were at work, and meals. These were
all furnished by the Superior, out of her library, to which we never
had access. She was informed when we had done with one book, and then
exchanged it for such another as she pleased to select.
Le Miroir du Chrétien (Christian Mirror), History of Rome, History of
the Church, Life of Soeur Bourgeoise, (the founder of the Convent), in
two volumes, L'Ange Conducteur (the Guardian Angel), L'Ange Chrétien
(the Christian Angel), Les Vies des Saints (Lives of Saints), in
several volumes, Dialogues, a volume consisting of conversations
between a Protestant Doctor, called Dr. D. and a Catholic gentleman, on
the articles of faith, in which, after much ingenious reasoning, the
former was confuted. One large book, the name of which I have
forgotten, occupied us nine or ten months at our lectures, night and
morning. L'Instruction de la Jeunesse (the Instruction of Youth),
containing much about Convents, and the education of persons in the
world, with a great deal on confessions, &c. Examen de la Conscience,
(Examination of Conscience), is a book frequently used.
I may here remark, that I never saw a Bible in the Convent from the day
I entered as a novice, until that on which I effected my escape. The
Catholic New Testament, commonly called the Evangile, was read to us
about three or four times a year. The Superior directed the reader what
passage to select; but we never had it in our hands to read when we
pleased. I often heard the Protestant Bible spoken of in bitter terms,
as a most dangerous book, and one which never ought to be in the hands
of common people.