_The Author’s Voyage to the_ +Land+ of
WONDERS.
Before I proceed to the Description of this Voyage, I must caution
the rigid and censorious Critick not to be too much out of Humour at
the Relation of some Things which perhaps may appear not to deserve
any Credit, as being contrary to the usual Course of Nature. I shall
here recount Things very incredible, but very true, and of which I
myself was an Eye-Witness. The Vulgar and Illiterate, who never have
set a Foot beyond the Limits of their own native Country, are apt to
look upon all such Things as fabulous to which they have not been
accustom’d from their Infancy. But the Learned, and especially such
of them as are conversant in physical Enquiries, who know how fertile
Nature is in her Productions, will look with a more favourable Eye upon
the wonderful Parts of this Narration.
_Quis tumidum guttur miratur in Alpibus? aut quis
In Meröe crasso majorem infante mamillam_, &c.
It is now well known, that there were a People formerly in _Scythia_,
called _Arimaspians_, who had only a single Eye apiece in the Middle of
their Foreheads; and others in the same Parts of the World, whose Feet
were set on the contrary Way to ours. We read of People in _Albania_,
who were grey-headed from their Childhood. The _Sauromatians_ us’d to
make a Meal but once in three Days, and to fast the intermediate ones.
Mention is made of certain Families in _Africa_, who had the Art of
fascinating or bewitching People with the Sound of their Voices. The
Inhabitants of _Illyrium_ were remarkable for having two Pupils in
each Eye, and us’d, when they were provok’d, to stare their Enemies to
Death. In the Mountains of _India_, there are some Men with Dogs Heads,
and who have been heard to bark like those Animals; others, with Eyes
in their Shoulders. And in the farthest Parts of the same Country,
there have been found Animals resembling Men, with hairy Bodies, and
Wings like Birds, who never eat, but live upon the Scent of Flowers,
which they draw through their Nostrils. Now I may ask, Who would have
given Credit to these, and the like Things, if _Pliny_, a very grave
Historian, had not solemnly affirm’d, not that he had heard or read of
such Things, but that he himself had seen them? In like Manner, who
would ever have thought that the Earth was hollow, and that another
Sun, and other Planets, were contain’d within its Bowels, had not my
own Experience clear’d up that Mystery? Or how could an Account of a
World, inhabited by Trees endued with Reason, and a Power of local
Motion, have ever gain’d Belief, had not my Discoveries prov’d the
Existence of it beyond a Possibility of Doubt. I am not inclin’d,
however, to quarrel with any Man for his Incredulity, since I must
confess, that before I undertook this Voyage, I was a little in doubt
myself, whether the Relations of Travellers in general were any Thing
better than pompous Fables, and insignificant Amusements.
It was in the Beginning of the Month _Radir_ that we set Sail. We had
a fair Wind for some Days, and our Vessel sailing right before it, we
had no Occasion to handle our Oars, and were therefore at Liberty to
divert ourselves. But on the fourth Day the Wind sunk, and we were
forc’d to take to our Oars. The Captain perceiving I was unaccustom’d
to such hard Labour, and unfit to bear it, would often give me Leave
to rest a while, and at length he entirely freed me from this servile
Office. Whether he thought me innocent, and therefore shew’d me so much
Kindness, or whether he judg’d me worthy of better Treatment on Account
of the curious Invention of Perriwigs, which I had the Honour of, as I
have before related, I cannot take upon me to determine. I must however
observe, that he carry’d three Wigs along with him this Voyage, the
Combing and Buckling of which was committed to my Charge. So that I was
on a sudden advanc’d from being a Galley-Slave, to the Dignity of the
Captain’s Wig-Dresser. This Civility of the Captain’s to me was the
Reason that as often as we arriv’d at any Port, I was always one of the
Number who were appointed to go on Shore. This was extremely agreeable
to me, as it gave me an Opportunity of fully satisfying my Curiosity.
We kept on our Course for some Time without meeting with any Thing
remarkable; but after we had lost Sight of Land we fell among the
_Syrens_, who as often as the Wind abated, and the Sea grew calm,
would swim to the Ship, and beg our Charity. The Language they spoke
resembled the _Martinese_, so that some of our Ship’s Crew were able to
talk with them without the Help of an Interpreter. One of the Number,
after I had given her a Piece of Meat, fixing her Eyes stedfastly upon
me, cry’d out,
Hero! proceed, and rule a conquer’d World!
I only smil’d at the Prophecy, as thinking it an empty Piece of
Flattery, though our Sailors assur’d me very seriously, that these
Syrens were seldom or never out in their Predictions. We had been under
Sail about eight Days when we discovered Land, which the Mariners
call’d _Picardania_. As we were entring the Harbour, we saw a Jack-Daw
hovering about us, who upon Enquiry I found to be a Person of great
Dignity, and at that Time Inspector-General of the Customs. I could
scarce refrain from laughing, when I heard that an Office of so great
Trust was committed to a Jack-Daw, and from the Appearance of their
Chief, I conjectur’d, that Wasps and Hornets must be the Tide-Waiters
and Custom-House Officers. After this Bird had flown two or three
Times round the Ship, he made for the Shore again, and presently after
return’d with three other Daws, and alighted upon the Fore-castle. I
was ready to burst with laughing, when I saw one of our Interpreters
approach these Birds with a profound Respect, and immediately enter
into a long Conversation with them. The Reason of their coming, was
to inspect what Merchandise we had on board, it being their Business
to enquire, whether we had any contraband Goods, and particularly
any of the Herb commonly call’d _Slac_. It is very common for these
Creatures to search every Corner of the Ship, and to unpack every
Bale of Goods, to see if they can discover any of this Herb, the
Importation of which is prohibited by the Magistrate, under a very
severe Penalty. The Inhabitants barter several Sorts of Commodities,
which are very useful and necessary towards the Support of Life, in
Exchange for this Herb; from whence it happens, that the Plants which
grow in _Picardania_, though every whit as good as this, are held
in no Esteem. The _Picardanians_ in this resemble the _Europeans_,
who are often fond of Things for no other Reason, but because they
are fetch’d from remote Countries, and grow in foreign Soils. The
Inspector, after he had had a long Conference with our Interpreters,
went down into the Hold with the rest of his Companions, and returning
soon after, with an angry Countenance declar’d, that he forbad us
trading with the _Picardanians_, because we had acted contrary to the
Faith of Treaties, in importing prohibited Goods. But the Captain, who
knew by Experience how to mitigate the Officer’s Anger, presented him
immediately with a few Pounds of _Slac_, upon which his Anger subsided,
and he gave us Leave to unload our Cargo. As soon as this was over, a
vast Flock of Daws came fluttering about us. These were all Merchants,
who came to traffick. The Captain intending to go ashore, order’d me,
and some others, to accompany him. Accordingly four in Number of us
left the Ship, namely, the Captain, myself, and two other Monkeys, to
wit, our Supercargo and Interpreter. We were invited to Dinner by the
Inspector-General. The Inhabitants have no Tables, as not making any
Use of Chairs, for which Reason the Cloth was laid in the Middle of
the Floor. A most delicate and magnificent Repast was presently serv’d
up, but in very small Dishes: And as the Kitchen was at the Top of the
House, each Dish was brought in supported by two Pair of Jack-Daws,
as if it descended from the Clouds. After Dinner the Officer took us
along with him, to shew us his Library. There was a vast Collection of
Books, but of a mighty small Size, the largest Folios being scarce so
big as one of our Primmers. I had much ado to withhold laughing when
I saw the Librarian fly up to the Top-Shelves to fetch down some of
the Octavos and Duodecimos. The Houses of the _Picardanians_ are very
little different from ours, as to the Building, and the Disposition of
the Apartments; but the Bed-Chambers are suspended just beneath the
Roof, after the Manner of Birds-Nests. It may be ask’d, perhaps, how
it is possible for Daws, (who are reckon’d amongst the Birds _Minorum
gentium_) to build Houses of such a Magnitude? But it was evident, from
a House which was then building from the Ground, that the Thing was
very possible; for several thousand Labourers were employ’d about it
at the same Time; so that what was wanting in Strength was supply’d
by Numbers, and by the Agility with which they flew about their Work.
For this Reason they will finish a House almost as quickly as our
Bricklayers can. The Inspector’s Lady did not appear at Table, by
reason of her Lying-in; for at such Times the Mother never stirs out
as long as her little ones are callow, but as soon as ever they begin
to be fledg’d, her Husband gives her Leave to go abroad. We did not
stay long in this Country, for which Reason I can say nothing as to
the Government thereof, or the Manners and Customs of the Inhabitants.
Every Thing was in great Confusion at that Time, on Account of a War
which was just then broke out between the _Daws_ and their Neighbours
the _Thrushes_, especially as News was brought the Day after our
Arrival, that a great Battle had been fought in the Air, in which
the Daws were entirely routed. The General was afterwards try’d by a
Court-Martial, and sentenc’d to have his Wings clipt, which is look’d
upon as a very heavy Punishment in this Country, and very little
different from what is inflicted for capital Offences. After we had
dispos’d of the Cargo, we set Sail from thence. At a little Distance
from the Shore, we saw great Quantities of Feathers floating about
upon the Water, and from thence conjectur’d, that it was the Spot where
the late Battle had been fought.
After a prosperous Voyage, which lasted only three Days, we arriv’d
upon the Coast of _Crotchet-Island_. We immediately came to an Anchor,
and went on Shore, preceded by an Interpreter, who carry’d that Sort of
musical Instrument along with him, which is generally call’d a _Base_.
This Ceremony appear’d very ridiculous to me, as I could not comprehend
for what Reason he should load himself with such an useless Burden.
As the Coasts seem’d to be deserted, and there was no Appearance of
any living Creature, the Captain order’d our Interpreter to play a
March, to give Notice of our Coming. Upon this about thirty musical
Instruments, or Bases, with one Leg, came hopping towards us. I thought
at first, that what I saw was all Inchantment, as I never, in all my
Travels, met with any Thing so wonderful. The Make of these Bases,
whom I afterwards found to be the Inhabitants of the Country, was as
follows: Their Necks were pretty long, with little Heads upon them;
their Bodies were slender, and cover’d with a smooth Kind of Bark or
Rind, in such a Manner, as that a pretty large Vacuity was left between
the Rind and the Body itself. A little above the Navel, Nature had
plac’d a Sort of Bridge with four Strings. The whole Machine rested
upon one Foot, so that their Motion was like that of Hopping, which
they perform’d with wonderful Agility. In short one would have took
them for real Bases, from their Similitude to that Instrument, had it
not been for their Hands and Arms, which were in every Respect like our
own. One of these Hands was employ’d in holding the Bow, as the other
was in stopping the Strings. Our Interpreter begun the Conference, by
taking up the Instrument he had brought with him, and playing a slow
Strain.
_Sustinet a lævâ, tenuit manus altera plectrum,
Artificis status ipse fuit: Tum stamina docto
Pollice sollicitat._
An Answer was presently return’d him in the same Strain, and thus they
went on warbling their Thoughts to one another for a considerable Time.
Their Conversation began with an _Adagio_, which I cannot but say had a
good deal of Harmony in it, but it soon slid into Discords which were
very grating to the Ear. The Conference ended with an harmonious and
delightful _Præsto_. Upon hearing this last our Men were exceedingly
pleas’d, since it was a Token, as they told me, that the Price of
their Cargo was agreed upon. I was afterward inform’d, that the slow
Musick in the Beginning was only a Prelude to the Discourse, and was
employ’d in mutual Compliments on both Sides: But that when we heard
the Discords they were disputing about the Price of our Commodities,
and that the _Præsto_ in the Conclusion signify’d that the Business
was happily determin’d. Accordingly a little while after we unloaded
the Ship. The Commodity for which there is the greatest Demand in this
Country is Rosin, with which the Inhabitants rub their Bows, which are
their Instruments of Speech. Such as are convicted of any great Crime
in this Country, are generally sentenc’d by the Judge to be depriv’d of
their Bows; and a perpetual Privation of the Bow is equal to capital
Punishment amongst us. As I understood there was to be a final Hearing
of a Law-Suit in a neighbouring Court of Justice, while I staid there,
my Curiosity prompted me to hear some of their musical Law-Proceedings.
The Council, instead of making a Speech, mov’d their Bows, and play’d
each of them a Kind of Tune. So long as the Pleadings lasted, I could
distinguish nothing but dissonant and jarring Sounds; for all the
Eloquence of the Bar consists in the Loudness of their Notes, and the
quick Motion of their Hands. After the Hearing was over, the Judge
rising slowly from the Bench, and taking up his Bow, gave the Court
an _Adagio_, which is the same Thing as pronouncing Sentence. For as
soon as he had made an End, the Executioners advanc’d directly to the
Criminal, to take away his Bow. The Boys in this Country resemble that
Kind of Instrument, which in our Parts of the World we call a _Kitt_.
They are never suffer’d to handle a Bow till they are three Years old.
Upon their Entrance into their fourth Year they are sent to School to
learn their Gamut, from Masters appointed for that Purpose, as Children
in _Europe_ are, to learn their Alphabet. They are kept under the
Discipline of the Ferula till they are able to play thoroughly in Tune,
and to give their Instruments a clear and distinct Expression. We were
very much molested by these Boys during our Stay there, as they were
perpetually teazing us with their scraping. Our Interpreter, who had
a very good Hand himself, and perfectly understood the Language, told
us, that the only Meaning of this Musick was to beg a little Rosin of
us. They begg’d in a whining Tone of the _Adagio_ Kind, but as soon
as ever they had got what they wanted, they run into the _Allegro_,
or Jig-Time, which was their Method of returning Thanks. However, a
Repulse would at any Time spoil all their Musick.
Having dispatch’d our Affairs to our Satisfaction, we left this Place
about the Month _Cusan_, and after a Voyage of a few Days came in Sight
of another Coast. Our Crew guess’d it to be _Pyglossia_, from the fœtid
Smell which came from thence. The Inhabitants of this Country are not
unlike human Creatures, except in one Particular, which is the Want of
Mouths. This lays them under a Necessity of speaking a _posteriori_,
if I may be allow’d the Phrase. The first Person who came aboard our
Ship was a wealthy Merchant. He very civilly saluted us from behind,
according to the Custom of the Country, and then began to talk with
us about the Price of our Goods. The Barber belonging to our Ship,
to my great Misfortune, was at that Time sick; for which Reason I
was oblig’d to make use of a _Pyglossian_ Barber. The People of this
Profession are more talkative, if possible, in this Country, than
they are in _Europe_; so that whilst he was shaving me, he left such
a horrid Stench behind him in the Cabin, that we were oblig’d to burn
great Quantities of Incense to sweeten it again after his Departure.
I was so accustom’d to see strange Things, and such as were contrary
to the usual Course of Nature, that nothing now appear’d surprizing
to me. As the Conversation of the _Pyglossians_ was disagreeable and
offensive, by reason of this natural Imperfection, we were willing
to get away from thence as soon as possible, and therefore weigh’d
Anchor before the Time we had appointed. We hasten’d our Departure
the more on Account of our being invited to Supper by one of the
principal Inhabitants. We all shrugg’d up our Shoulders at this
Invitation, and nobody would accept of it, but upon Condition that a
general Silence should be observ’d all Supper-Time. As we were going
out of the Harbour, the _Pyglossians_ crouded to the Shore to wish us
a good Voyage; but as the Wind blew directly from the Land, we made
all the Signs we could, by nodding our Heads, and waving our Hands,
to let them know we would excuse their Compliments. I could not help
reflecting, upon this Occasion, how very troublesome a Man may prove by
striving to be over-complaisant. The chief Trade of the _Martinians_
to this Country, consists in Rose-Water, and divers Kinds of Spices
and Perfumes. We steer’d our Course from hence to _Iceland_, a Country
the most horrid, desert, and inhospitable, that ever my Eyes beheld.
Hardly any Thing is to be seen, but Mountains continually cover’d over
with Snow. The Inhabitants, who are all made of Ice, are dispers’d
here and there amongst the Tops of the Hills, in Places where the Sun
never comes. For all between the Summits of the Mountains, to speak
poetically, is bound up in eternal Frost. On this Account likewise it
is perpetually dark here, or if there is any Light, it is only what
proceeds from the Glittering of the Hoar-Frost. But the Valleys which
lie between these Hills of Snow are (full as miraculously) scorch’d
with Heat, and burnt up by the fiery Vapours with which the Atmosphere
abounds. For this Reason the Inhabitants never dare venture down into
the Valleys, unless it be in hazy Weather, or when the Sky is overcast.
And as soon as ever they perceive the least Glimmering of the Sun’s
Rays, they either get back into the Mountains, or plunge directly into
some Cavern. It often happens, that whilst the Inhabitants are upon the
Road into these Valleys, they are either melted, or come to some other
Misfortune. The extraordinary Heat in these Places furnishes them with
a ready Means of punishing notorious Criminals. The Executioners take
the Opportunity of the first cloudy Day to carry such Criminals down
into the Plain, where they tie them to a Stake, and there leave them
expos’d to the burning Rays of the Sun, which soon dissolves and melts
them. The Country produces all Kinds of Minerals, except Gold. These
are bought up by foreign Merchants, in the crude State in which they
are digg’d out of the Earth. For the Natives being unable to bear the
Fire, know nothing of the Art of smelting or working up of Metals. ’Tis
thought that the _Iceland_ Trade is the most beneficial of any that is
carry’d on in these Parts.
All these Countries, which I have been hitherto describing, are
subject to the great Emperor of _Mezendoria_, properly so call’d; for
which Reason these, as well as others which have not been mention’d,
are by Travellers call’d by the general Name of the _Mezendores_, or
_Mezendorian_ Islands, tho’ they are distinguish’d from one another
by peculiar Names, as has been shewn in this Itinerary. That Empire,
which is no less spacious than it is extraordinary, was the End,
and as it were the Center of our Voyage. Eight Days after we left
_Iceland_, we arriv’d at the Imperial City. Whatever the Poets have
said about Societies of Animals, or Trees, we here found to be real.
For _Mezendoria_ is a Country which is actually possess’d in common by
Animals and Trees, who are alike endued with Reason. Any Kind of Animal
or Tree whatsoever is allow’d to enjoy the Privileges of this City,
provided he is obedient to the Laws, and to the establish’d Government.
One would be apt to think, that a Mixture of so many Creatures of
different Forms and opposite Natures should necessarily create Disorder
and Confusion. But by Virtue of prudent Laws and Constitutions, this
Contrariety is made to produce happy Effects. For by Means thereof, a
different Office or Employment, and such as is suited to his different
Genius, Temper, and Abilities, is prudently assign’d to each of these
miscellaneous Subjects. Lions, because of their innate Magnanimity, are
here made Generals of Armies; Elephants, by reason of their natural
Sagacity, and the Soundness of their Judgments, are appointed Members
of the Supreme Council of the Nation. All Offices at Court are fill’d
up by Cameleons, which Animals being by Nature subject to Change, can
the more readily accommodate themselves to Times and Circumstances.
The Land-Forces are made up of Bears and Tygers, and such warlike
Animals. Bulls and Oxen are admitted into the SeaService; for these
being simple and well-meaning Creatures, and at the same Time hardy
and obstinate, and not overburden’d with good Breeding, are therefore
esteem’d the properest Inhabitants for that boisterous Element. They
have likewise a Seminary of Calves, which are instructed in the Art
of Navigation, and train’d up for the Service of the Fleet; these
are call’d Sea-Calves, and are promoted by Degrees to the Dignity of
Captains and Admirals. Trees, by reason of their Uprightness, are
created Judges. Geese are Advocates in the Supreme Courts of Justice,
and Magpyes have the Management of Causes in the inferior Courts. Foxes
are made Plenipotentiaries, Envoys, Consuls, Agents and Secretaries
to Embassies. Rooks are generally appointed Administrators to the
Goods and Chattels of such as die intestate. Goats are Philosophers,
especially Grammarians, as well out of Regard to their Horns, with
which they are us’d to push their Adversaries upon the slightest
Provocation, as on Account of their venerable Beards, in which Respect,
they surpass all other Animals. Horses are Civil Magistrates; and
Vipers, Moles, and Dormice, Farmers and Husbandmen. Birds are employ’d
as Couriers and Post-Boys. Asses, on Account of the Loudness of their
Voices, are made Deacons; and Nightingales execute the Office of
Singing-Men and Choiristers. Cocks are the Watchmen in great Towns, and
Dogs are Porters at the Gates. Wolves are the superior Officers in the
Treasury and Custom-House, and Hawks and Vultures are their Deputies.
By Means of these excellent Institutions all publick Offices are
duly and faithfully executed, and every Thing transacted in the most
orderly Manner. This Empire, therefore, ought to be a Pattern for
all Legislators to copy after in the Establishment of new Forms of
Government. For that so many worthless Wretches get into Employments
is not owing to any Want of Persons of Abilities to fill them up, but
solely to an improper Choice. But if this Matter was taken Care of
as it ought to be, and wise and able Men promoted not on Account of
their general Merits, but of their Fitness to that particular Post,
we should see publick Offices far better manag’d than they now are,
and Governments in a more flourishing Condition. What a salutary
Institution this is which we have been speaking of, is evident from
the Example of this Empire. We find in the Annals of _Mezendoria_,
that about three hundred Years ago this Law was repeal’d by the
Emperor _Lilak_, and that publick Employments were conferr’d upon all
Sorts of People indifferently, provided they had Merit of any Kind,
or had signaliz’d themselves by any extraordinary Action. But this
promiscuous Distribution of Places of Trust occasion’d so many and
such great Disorders, that the Government seem’d upon the Point of
being overturn’d thereby. Thus, for Example, a Wolf having acquitted
himself with Reputation in the Management of the publick Revenues, lays
Claim, on that Account, to a superior Dignity, and becomes a Senator;
on the other Hand a Tree, having signaliz’d himself by the Integrity of
his Decisions, was rewarded by an Employment in the Treasury. By this
preposterous Promotion, two able Men at once were rendered absolutely
useless to the Publick. A Goat, or a Philosopher, who was extoll’d
to the Skies by the Scholasticks, for his Keenness and Obstinacy in
defending an Argument, desiring to advance himself, requested the
first Place that should happen to be vacant at Court, and obtain’d
it; whilst a Cameleon, noted for his Good-Breeding and his Compliance
with the Times, obtain’d by these Qualities a Professor’s Chair in the
University, which he sollicited for the Sake of the Salary. The Effect
of this was, that the former from an able Philosopher became an absurd
Courtier; and the latter from an excellent Courtier, was transform’d
into a most empty Philosopher. For that Perseverance in maintaining his
Opinions, which does a Man Credit as a Philosopher, is an Imperfection
in the other Character, since Fickleness and Inconstancy are cardinal
Virtues at Court, and he that would rise there must regard not so much
what is true, as what is safe, and must assume a different Aspect just
as the Face of Affairs happens to change. What is there a Vice, is a
Virtue in the Schools; where Positiveness, and a determin’d Resolution
to adhere, at all Events, to the Point you have undertaken to defend,
is a Token of a very great Man. In short, the Subjects in general,
even such as were remarkable for very extraordinary Abilities, were by
this Alteration in the Constitution render’d useless to their Country,
and the Republick of course began to totter. In this State of Affairs,
when every Thing was running to Ruin, an Elephant of great Prudence,
named _Baccari_, at that Time a Senator, laid this Grievance before the
Emperor in very pathetick Terms. That Prince, being convinc’d of the
Truth of what was told him, determin’d to put an immediate Stop to the
growing Evil. The Manner in which a Reformation was brought about was
this. Such as were in Employment were not immediately turn’d out, for
by that Means the Remedy would have been worse than the Disease; but
as fast as Offices became vacant, such as already were in Employments,
for which they were unfit, were remov’d to others better adapted to
their Capacities. The good Effects of this Change soon became visible;
and _Baccari_, for the great Service he had done his Country, had a
Statue erected for him, which is to be seen in the great Square in
_Mezendoria_ at this Day. Ever since that Time the ancient Laws have
been religiously observ’d. Our Interpreter affirm’d, that he had this
Relation from a certain Goose, with whom he was very intimate, and who
was reckon’d one of the most eminent Lawyers in the whole City.
Many unusual, and even stupendous Phænomena, are daily offering
themselves to View in this Country, and attracting the Eyes of
Strangers and Travellers. The Sight alone of so many Kinds of Animals,
to wit, Bears, Wolves, Geese, Magpyes, _&c._ walking up and down the
different Streets and Quarters of the City, and conversing familiarly
with each other, cannot fail of exciting Admiration and Delight in
those who are unaccustom’d to such Kind of Sights. The first Person
who came on board us was a meagre Wolf, or Custom-House Officer; he
was attended by four Kites, or Under-Officers, such as in _Europe_ are
call’d Searchers. They seiz’d whatever they had a Mind to of our Cargo,
and by that Means made it appear that they had learnt their Lesson
perfectly, and were very far from being Novices in their Trade. The
Captain, according to his usual Civility, always took me along with
him when he went ashore. We were met at our Landing by a Cock, who
having ask’d the usual Questions, namely, what our Business was, and
from whence we came, gave Notice of our Arrival to the chief Officer
of the Customs. We met with a very civil Reception, and were invited
to sup with him. His Wife, who, as we were told, was a celebrated
Beauty among the Wolves, did not make her Appearance at Table. The
Reason of her Absence, we heard afterward, was her Husband’s Jealousy,
who did not think it proper to expose a Person of her Beauty to the
View of Strangers, and especially of Sailors, who by reason of their
long Abstinence, being generally very loving when they come on Shore,
use little or no Distinction in their Addresses. Divers other marry’d
Females sat down to Supper with us. One of our Company, a white Cow
with black Spots, was the Wife of a Sea-Officer. Next to her sat a
black Cat, who was Wife to one of the King’s Huntsmen, and was just
come up out of the Country. The Person that sat next to me at Table
was a particolour’d Sow, Wife to a Gold-finder, all Offices of this
Kind being fill’d up by such as are of Hoggish Extraction. She was very
sluttish, and sat down to Table without washing her Hands, which is a
common Thing amongst those of her Tribe; but then she was extremely
officious, and help’d me several Times with her own Hands. Every body
was surpriz’d at her unusual Civility, especially as these Creatures
are by no Means remarkable for Politeness. For my Part, I wish’d she
had not been quite so well-bred, since the being help’d by such Hands
was not in the least agreeable to me. I must here observe, that though
the Inhabitants of _Mezendoria_ resemble Brutes, as to their Shapes,
yet they have Hands and Fingers which grow out of their Forefeet,
in which Respect alone they differ from our Quadrupeds. They have no
Occasion for Cloaths, as their Bodies are cover’d over with Hair or
Feathers. The Rich are distinguish’d from the Poor only by certain
Ornaments, as Collars of Gold, or Pearls, or Garlands wound in a
spiral Manner round about their Horns. The Sea-Officer’s Lady was so
set off with Ornaments of this Kind, that one could scarce see any
Horns she had. She excus’d her Husband’s Absence, by saying he was
detained at home by a Law-Suit, a Hearing of which was to come on the
Day following. After Supper was over, the particolour’d Sow, whom I
have been speaking of, took our Interpreter aside, and had a long
Conference with him, the Purport of which, was, that she had conceiv’d
a violent Passion for me. He comforted all he could, and promising her
a mutual Passion on my Part, he next began to make his Attack on me.
But as he found his Words made no Impression upon me, he advis’d me
to make my Escape as soon as possible, since he knew the Lady would
leave no Stone unturn’d to gratify her Wishes. From that Time forward
I kept close on board, especially after I heard that a former Admirer
of her Ladyship’s, a Student in Philosophy, who was grown jealous of
me, had form’d a Design against my Life. I was scarce secure even on
board against the repeated Attacks of this _Inamorata_, who sometimes
by Messages, and at other Times by Billet-doux and Love-Verses,
endeavour’d to soften my obdurate Heart. Had not I unfortunately lost
these Letters, when I afterwards suffer’d Shipwreck, I could here have
presented the Reader with a Specimen of Piggish Poetry. But they are
now slipt out of Memory, and all that I can at present recollect of
them are the following Lines, in which she thus sets off her Beauties.
’Tis true, in dread Array my Bristles rise;
But let me not for this be hateful to thee.
What is the Steed, without his flowing Mane?
What are the feather’d Race, without their Plumes?
What is a Tree, stript of its leafy Honours?
What is a mortal Man without his Beard?
And what, ye Gods! a Sow without her Bristles?
We made an End of our Market with such Expedition, that we were in a
Condition to set Sail from thence in a few Days. Our Voyage, however,
was retarded some Time, by a Quarrel which happen’d betwixt our
Sailors, and some of the Inhabitants of the Country. The Occasion of
the Quarrel was this. As one of our Men was passing through the City,
a Cuckoo, who had a Mind to be arch upon him, call’d him in Derision
_Peripom_, which signifies the same as a Stage-Player amongst us. For
as Monkeys in this Country are commonly Rope-Dancers and Comedians,
the Cuckoo took our _Martinian_ for a Player. The Sailor, resenting the
Affront, fell upon him with a Cudgel, and repeating his Blow, almost
maim’d him. The Cuckoo calling out for Help, desir’d the By-Standers
to bear Witness of the Assault, and summon’d them the next Day to give
Evidence in a Court of Justice. The Witnesses having been examin’d, the
Matter was laid before the Senate. The Sailor being ignorant both of
the Laws and Language of the _Mezendorians_, was forc’d to see a Pye,
or Lawyer, to be Counsel for him. The Cause was thus brought before
the Senate, and after a Hearing, which lasted about an Hour, Sentence
was given to the following Purpose: That the Cuckoo, as being the
Aggressor, should undergo the Punishment in that Case provided, and pay
the Costs of the Suit. However, the Lawyer’s Fees had swallow’d up all
his Cash already. The Judges who determin’d this Affair were Horses,
two of which were Consuls, and the other four Senators. An equal
Number of Colts were likewise present, who had a Right of giving their
Opinions, but not of voting, and were admitted into the Court as Pupils
and Candidates to fill up Vacancies upon the Bench.
Having finish’d our Affairs to our Satisfaction, and got our Loading
which was very valuable on board, we thought of returning home. Soon
after we were out at Sea, a sudden Calm at once put a Stop to our
Course. Upon which we fell to our Diversions, some to spearing of
Fishes as they leapt above the Surface, others to angling for them. By
and by we had a Gale of Wind, and proceeded in our Voyage.
Having long plough’d the Ocean with a prosperous Gale, we at length
came in Sight of other Syrens, who by Intervals would set up a most
hideous and dismal Yell. This struck an uncommon Terror into the
Sailors, who knew, by woful Experience, that such mournful Musick
portended Storms and Shipwrecks. Hereupon we immediately took in our
Sails, and every Man was order’d to his Post. We had scarce made an End
of our Work before we saw the Heavens cover’d with black Clouds. The
Waves began to swell, and such a Storm follow’d, that the Pilot, who
had us’d the Subterranean Seas for almost forty Years, declar’d he had
never known so terrible a one. Every Thing that happen’d to be upon
Deck was immediately wash’d overboard, partly by Means of the Waves,
which were every Moment breaking over it, and partly by the violent
Rain’s which fell at the same Time, attended with dreadful Lightning
and loud Claps of Thunder. So that all the Elements seem’d to conspire
together for our Destruction. Our Main-Mast was presently broke short
off and carry’d away, and the rest soon follow’d it. We had nothing
now but Death before our Eyes. One was calling out upon his Wife and
Children, another upon his Friends and Relations, and the whole Vessel
resounded with their mournful Cries. The Pilot, though without Hope
himself, was nevertheless oblig’d to sooth the rest with Hopes, and to
advise them not to give Way to unavailing Sorrows. Whilst he was in the
Midst of this Discourse, a sudden Gust of Wind hurry’d him overboard,
and he was quickly swallow’d up by the Waves. Three others underwent
the same Fate, namely, the Purser, and two Sailors. I was the only
one who bore the general Calamity without repining. Life was grown a
Burden to me, and I had no Inclination to return to _Martinia_, where I
had forfeited my Liberty and good Name. All the Compassion I had left
was for the Captain, who had treated me with so much Kindness during
our whole Voyage. I strove with all the Eloquence I was Master of, to
raise his drooping Spirits; but in vain; he persisted in his Sighs and
womanish Complaints, till a Wave came rolling over us, and carry’d him
away with it into the Ocean.
The Storm increasing still, no farther Care was taken about the Ship.
Not a Mast, not a Rudder, or even so much as a Rope or Oar was left;
and our Vessel floated at Random on the Waves. We were toss’d about in
this Condition near three whole Days, half dead with Fear and Hunger.
The Sky appear’d serene by Intervals, but nevertheless the Storm
continued with its usual Violence. At length we discovered Land, the
Sight of which, though it appear’d to be nothing but craggy Rocks and
Precipices, was some Comfort to those of the Crew who were still left
alive. As the Wind blew towards the Shore, we were in Hopes that we
should soon be driven thither. But this could not happen without our
suffering Shipwreck, by reason of the Cragginess of the Coast. It
seem’d however probable, that some of us, if not all, by the Help of
some Fragments of the Ship, might for the present at least escape.
But whilst we were comforting ourselves with these Hopes, we struck
upon a Rock, which being under Water had escap’d our Notice, with such
Violence, that the Vessel was in an Instant dash’d into an hundred
Pieces. In the Midst of this Confusion I laid hold of a Plank, being
only anxious for my own Safety, and little minding what became of my
Companions, whose Fate I am yet a Stranger to. It is most likely that
they were all lost, since I could not hear of the Arrival of any of
them into that Country. I was carry’d with great Rapidity to the Shore,
by the Help of the Tide and of the Waves. This was a Means of saving
me, for had I continued a little longer in the State I was in, I should
certainly have perish’d through Hunger and Fatigue. After I had doubled
the Point of a certain Promontory, the Waves abated, and I heard the
Murmuring of them at a Distance only, and that too by Degrees grew
weaker and weaker, till it intirely vanish’d.
This whole Region is mountainous. And hence the frequent Windings of
the Mountains, their overhanging Tops, together with the Deepness of
the Vales below, are the Occasion of very great Echoes here. As soon
as I found myself near the Shore, I hollow’d out as loud as I was
able, in hopes that some of the Inhabitants upon the Coasts might hear
me, and come to my Assistance. My first Shout was not return’d, but
after I had repeated it, I heard a Kind of Noise from the Shore, and
at length saw the Inhabitants running out of the Woods, and coming to
meet me with a Boat, which was made of Osier Branches and Oaken Twigs,
a Proof that they were not a very improv’d or civiliz’d People. But
the Sight of the Rowers gave me a Transport beyond Description; for
as to their exterior Figure, they did not differ at all from Men, and
were the only Creatures of my own Species that I had beheld during this
whole Subterranean Tour. They are something like the Inhabitants of
the Torrid Zone. For they have black Beards, and short, curl’d Hair;
and those who have long, flaxen Hair, are reputed a Kind of Monsters.
At length they drew near to the broken Piece of the Ship I was upon,
and took me into their Boat in a dropping Condition. They then row’d
to Shore, where after I had been refresh’d with some Meat and Drink,
though in a very plain and coarse Manner, I soon recover’d my Vigour
and Spirits, notwithstanding I had been three whole Days and Nights in
a Manner combating with Thirst and Hunger.