A DIFFICULT TASK
The sun had long set and a grey dusk had fallen when Dalton, weary and
despondent, returned to the Station after a dull round of inspection
during which he had occupied comfortless _dak_ bungalows. Lights were
appearing in many windows and were to be seen streaming from the
reception rooms of the Club, where guests for the gala week were being
entertained. As he passed, he could hear the click of the billiard balls
and the sound of merry laughter. Somewhere in those lighted rooms was
Honor Bright, perhaps, shedding the sunshine of her presence on her
friends! His eyes strained wistfully to catch a glimpse of the beloved
form, but in vain, for the Duranta hedge effectually obscured the view.
Three days had passed since he had fled incontinently from the
impossible conditions of his home, only to find himself compelled, when
no further excuses for his absence were to be found, to return to it
bitterly disgusted with life and feverishly impatient to escape
altogether from an intolerable presence. One hope alone remained to him,
and that was, that the Government would accept his offer for service at
the front.
Although in his relations towards his wife he was almost a stranger, he
had paid her the compliment of letting her know the date and hour of his
return; not from any impulse towards friendliness, but from an
instinctive pride of race, which made it impossible for him to slight a
white woman in the eyes of the natives. However far apart their lives
were sundered, his servants, at least, would have to respect her as the
Memsahib and the mistress of his house; any other position for her--a
British lady in India--was unthinkable.
And Mrs. Dalton was under no delusion respecting his object. The formal
note had no special meaning for her.
There was a light in the drawing-room, Dalton noticed, as he drove up to
the steps; and as he descended from his car, a servant, salaaming,
informed him that the Memsahib was entertaining a lady visitor.
Receiving no encouragement to become communicative, he said no more, but
hurriedly assisted other domestics to minister to his master's comforts.
The Sahib had no interest in the Memsahib's doings, it was plain to all;
and it was greatly to be deplored that he should have saddled himself
with her presence in his bungalow where he had so long enjoyed freedom
and solitude.
In his private apartments, all was ready for Dalton's reception;
refreshments were produced like magic; the lowered lights raised; and he
was able to rest and recover at his leisure from the fatigues of the
day. Seated at his desk in his comfortable study, he smoked and read the
letters that had accumulated in his absence while his mind
subconsciously dwelt on thoughts of Honor.
Where was she? What was she doing? How was she enduring their miserable
separation? Was it preying upon her as on him?
Would he ever have the chance to hold her in his arms again and read the
truth in her dear eyes? Or must he go to his grave with this ache of
unfulfilled longing forever denied to him?
The thought was insupportable. Every fibre of his being craved for her
with a desire so intense and compelling, that he was incapable of
concentrating his mind on any subject.
While brooding in the deepest melancholy, a sound at his verandah door
arrested his attention. It was distinctly the _frou-frou_ of a woman's
skirts. Could it be possible that his wife was seeking to force an
interview with him?
There came a light knock on the shutters of the open door which was
screened with a cretonne curtain.
"Come in," he said impatiently, resenting the disturbance, and the
curtain was raised to admit the diffident intruder.
It was Honor, looking very white, yet as always, brave and sweet.
"Honey!" he started to his feet deeply moved. The harshness vanished
from his face which was now alight with wonderment and love. Dressed in
a muslin frock and straw hat, she looked simple and fresh, and yet
carried the air and distinction which had always marked her in any
company. But though she smiled into his eyes there was something in her
expression that forbade him to hope for any crumbs of comfort from her
visit.
"Good evening," she said trying to speak in ordinary tones while the
wild beating of her heart made her momentarily faint. "I came, as I
wanted so much to tell you something."
He gave her his seat and leaned against the table looking down at her.
"I think I know why you have come. Not on your own account,--that would
be impossible to you,--but it is on some dear, quixotic errand for
another. You have come straight from--Mrs. Dalton." He could not bring
himself to say, "my wife."
Honor bent her head, looking distressed. Her mission was becoming more
difficult than she had anticipated.
"Honey," he said reproachfully, "don't you think I have done enough?"
"There is a little more you could do," she returned, lifting pleading
eyes to his face.
"For her? Do you think she deserves the half of the consideration she
has received? Other women who have sinned against the law and every code
of honour have been regarded as outcasts from society. Honest women bar
their doors to such as she. I cannot bear to see you with her!--a girl
like you cannot understand--I cannot explain"--he broke off with a
gesture of impatience and helplessness.
"I understand quite well," said Honor lifting her head courageously. "I
feel that life is terribly unjust. There are men who are even worse than
she, and yet their sins are covered, and society allows them to marry
pure, honest girls! Is that right or just?"
It was Dalton's turn to lower his gaze.
Honor continued speaking. She did not allow her maidenly reserve to
stand in the way of her frank denouncement of the injustice of human and
social laws. Very quietly and logically she stated the case while Dalton
with arms folded on his breast, listened, ashamed for himself and his
sex. Before she had finished, he came and knelt beside her chair, and,
gripping the arms of it with shaking hands, humbled himself to the dust.
"We are all a cursed lot of Pharisees!" he cried. "Don't turn away from
me with disgust! Pity me and love me still though I am unfit to kiss the
hem of your skirt." Nevertheless, he bent and pressed his lips to the
border of her gown.
"Ah, don't!" she cried, the tears flooding her eyes. "You and I cannot
think of love any more! It must be friendship or nothing. Today I have
realised as I never did before, that there are higher duties for some of
us, to which we must give the first place, even at the sacrifice of
love."
"Honey, you don't know what you are saying!" he cried passionately.
"Dearest, you cannot forbid me to love you! It is an unalterable fact. I
cannot change it, even at your bidding."
"I know--it is quite true of love, for it is a sacred thing and belongs
to the heart. But it can be locked away--put out of sight--_buried_,"
she returned, her voice breaking. "The higher duty is--the _saving of a
soul_. Dare we withhold our forgiveness from a repentant sinner? Your
wife is truly a very miserable woman. She is on her knees to you. Can
you afford to refuse her?--or will you rather say, 'Go and sin no more'?
Which of us is without sin? If you repulse her now, it might lead to her
ruin, body and soul?"
"You are asking more of me than I can do. I can never again look upon
her as a wife. Feeling as I do, it would be a violation of the best
instincts of my nature."
"I am not asking that of you."
"What, then, is it I must do? for you know that I would give all I
possess to please you."
Honor's tears fell fast, unheeded. "_Only be kind to her._ Let her feel
that she has something to live for. At present she has nothing."
"I tell you, she is false. She has played upon your sympathies and led
you to believe in her."
"I believe in her only because it is impossible to doubt her
wretchedness, or her repentance."
"She lied to you!"
"She told me the truth concerning herself. She did not spare herself.
Hers is, indeed, a 'broken and a contrite heart' which even God does not
despise," said Honor reverently.
"You wish me to be kind to her?--Tell me how, when we live under the
same roof and I can never regard her as my wife?"
His eyes gazed upon the girl's face with wistful yearning. She was his
soul's mate,--she of the pure eyes and tender mouth! He could be kind to
_her_ all the days of his life. He could love and cherish _her_, in
sickness and in health. Would to God she could belong to him!
But she was talking of his duty to another whom he despised!
Honor pleaded long with all her gentle tact, that he would try to
practice tolerance and kindness. The future would take care of itself.
"Kindness from you is all she craves, and a chance to prove her
sincerity."
"In what way can I be kind?" he repeated.
"By being thoughtful of her needs, considerate, and forbearing. Speak
gently, and do not grudge her your smiles when there is need to show
appreciation."
"And if I bring myself to do all these things, do you believe she will
be content? Oh, Honey!--what a burden you are laying on my shoulders! Do
you know that I find it difficult to be even decently polite to her?
That is why I keep out of her way. And what is my reward to be?"
"If we do our duty day by day, it is enough. We should not look for
reward, yet, I am confident we shall receive it, never fear! It works
out right in the end."
"When I am dead?"--bitterly. "There is only one thing I want. Given
that, I would ask nothing more of life!"
He rose and stood aside to set her free, for Honor indicated that her
visit was at an end.
"Good-bye, and God bless you, Brian," she said with trembling lips,
giving him both her hands.
Dalton made no reply, but stooping, kissed them tenderly; for the moment
he was incapable of speech. Then going to the door he held the curtain
aside to allow her to pass out.
Honor found her way home, shaken with emotion. She had won her point,
but Mrs. Dalton would have to discover for herself the result of the
interview which she had contrived to bring about; and if it helped her
to begin afresh, the pain it had cost would not have been in vain.
So deeply engrossed had she been in the purpose of her visit, that she
had forgotten to repeat to Captain Dalton the conversation she had
overheard at the _mela_. Her father had scoffed at it, and Tommy had
treated it with indifference, explaining that all pioneers of progress
in India had to put up with opposition, threats, and bluff. The natives
of Bengal were too cowardly to risk their necks--didn't she remember her
Macaulay? After all, there was really nothing tangible to worry about.
Nevertheless, the matter so preyed upon her mind, that she wrote a note
after dinner to Mrs. Dalton, telling her all about it, and asking her to
persuade her husband to be always on his guard against sudden surprises,
as she believed men were plotting against his life. It would give the
poor woman an opportunity to begin friendly relations with her husband,
and possibly help to bring about a better understanding between them.
The note was entrusted to an orderly, who dropped it in the pocket of
his tunic and postponed the delivery of it to a more convenient season,
his friends from the bazaar having gathered at the door of his
_basha_[21], behind the bungalow, for a smoke, and to gossip about their
exploits at the _mela_.
[Footnote 21: Dwelling.]
It was not till they had gone, that he was recalled to a sense of duty
with regard to the note, and the hour was then late. However, it was as
much as his place was worth for him to leave the delivery of it till the
morning; so, making his way across to the Civil Surgeon's bungalow, he
aroused Mrs. Dalton's ayah, who, in her turn, roused her mistress, and
handed her the communication from Honor.
Thus does Fate control the destinies of individuals; for, had the
orderly done his duty earlier, there might have been a very different
ending to this story.
Meanwhile, a letter by the last post from Joyce in Darjeeling, engaged
Honor till close upon midnight. It had given her much to think about,
and called for a reply of congratulations, as it was written at a time
of intense joy and thanksgiving over the restoration of happy relations
with her husband:
Joyce had written at great length, beginning her letter with a
description of her journey and the miserable thoughts that had occupied
her all the way. After giving a brief outline of the circumstances
connected with her arrival at her husband's rooms, she continued:
"You can imagine the shock it was to find her there and so very much at
home! I could have killed her! But I did nothing melodramatic, believe
me. I was too stunned. Instead, I boiled with the desire for a reprisal.
Since I could not fight her like a savage, being, of course, a highly
civilised person, I fought her with the only weapons at my command. I
went to the Planters' Ball, tired though I was, and made an amazing hit.
Did you ever imagine that I was an actress, born? If you had seen me
dance and smile while my heart was breaking, you would have had to
revise all previous impressions of little Me.
"Ray looked completely dazed at first, and could hardly believe his
eyes. I obliged him to keep up appearances, so that we danced a great
deal together, and he had my sweetest smiles, though he knew all the
while that my heart was turned to stone. I was an angel to him before
others, but alone with him I was adamant. And Mrs. Dalton had the lesson
of her life. I saw to it that Ray dropped her entirely, and as people
are like sheep, there was no one brave enough to have anything to do
with her. Her humiliation was complete. Before half the night was over,
she left, looking mad with everybody. Even those who had been in the
habit of speaking to her, gave her a wide berth, so you can imagine how
comforted I felt!--though I am inclined, now, to be a weeny bit sorry
for her. It must have been an appalling experience, and only a woman can
appreciate what it must have felt like. However, it will do her good to
realise how much it is all worth in the end! It seems like becoming all
of a sudden bankrupt of friends and love, and of all that makes life so
dear and good. I am surprised that Captain Dalton has cared to take her
back, but I suppose it is to save her from worse. If that is so, he
can't be so bad after all!
"I am rather ashamed of the part I played at the ball, for I took a
wicked pleasure in Ray's misery. He looked so white and ill all the
time, and whenever we danced I could see how he was just aching to kiss
me as he used to do. His eyes gave him away all the time! But he never
dared, even when we sat out in sheltered nooks, for I was a cruel devil,
and 'rubbed it in' every time I got the chance. But, darling, consider
how sore I felt--and how angry!
"So I flirted mildly all the evening just to show that two could play
the same game! Of course, in cold blood, I simply hated myself for
behaving so despicably. I did not know I had it in me, but one never
knows oneself till things happen to rouse one thoroughly. In the end I
had a splitting headache and felt on the verge of hysteria. It was all I
could do not to break down while Ray was unhooking my frock at the back.
It was the only ball-gown in my trunk, the other not having arrived--the
sort of thing that leaves one at the mercy of some charitable person.
That was Ray! Though we were quarrelling desperately, he hooked and
unhooked me without a word of protest, and oh, the misery of his dear,
handsome face in the mirror! I could have hugged it to my breast and
cried upon the squiggly little curls that never lie flat. Oh, I do love
him so! But I was too proud to relent so soon, and tried to keep up my
rage, which all the while was cooling fast.
"When Ray left me, after the little business of the hooks and eyes, he
retired to his dressing-room, where I supposed he had caused a bed to be
made up for himself on the floor. The hotel was so packed, there was no
help for it. Well, how was it possible for me to sleep when I thought of
his lying on the draughty floor, and myself in possession of his
comfortable bed? I tossed and turned and wondered about him, seeing all
the while his unhappy face in the mirror. I remembered about your saying
how a man punishes himself by remorse far more than others can punish
him, and I knew that my poor boy was suffering terribly. That made me
think of tragedies with razors and things, till I could not lie down
another minute, but had to get out of bed to peep and see that he was
safe. Very softly I tip-toed to the curtain which hangs between the
rooms, and put my eyes to the edge.
"Do you know, Honey darling, the poor fellow had no bed at all! His
servant had not been given any order, and my dear, precious husband was
sitting in the cold, before a dead fire, looking the picture of
desolation and grief. It made me cry like anything to see his head bowed
upon his arms, his whole attitude so dejected! and by the heaving of his
shoulders, I knew he was crying. Think of it!--crying because of what he
had done! and for my cruelty and unforgivingness! It is dreadful to see
a strong man all broken up and humiliated for the sake of his wife. Oh,
Honey! I could bear it no longer, and fairly ran to him.
"Of course you can imagine the rest. It is too sacred to relate, and I
thrill all over at the memory of it. How we clung together--mingling our
tears! Oh, what a blessed thing is love!
"There is no more to tell, except that we are enjoying a second
honeymoon, far more wonderful than the first. And you may be quite,
quite sure that I shall never leave my beloved husband again, unless I
am forced. He and I shall go home every three years to Baby who is well
cared for by his grannie. Of course I miss him dreadfully!--but then,
there's Ray!--a big baby in his way, and one can't cut one's self in
two, can one? so, all things considered, I feel I must just hold on out
here for his sake till we can go home together. It is wonderful how
different India now seems to me! I verily believe I hated it before,
because I was blind or asleep. Love makes Paradise of any place!
"I have told Ray all about that time in the ruins, and we both agree
that I was a little silly to let my dread of his view of it keep me
silent. My folly nearly spoiled both our lives. I should have trusted my
husband more. Anyhow, I am wiser now."
Honor sat long over this very human document, moved to laughter and
tears. So Joyce had pardoned her sinner and had come into her reward!
Another sinner, far more culpable would also find happiness through
forgiveness, and her husband come into his reward, some day! It was
Life, with its eternal give and take, and its exchange which was seldom
just. Yet, in proportion to the kindness and generosity with which Brian
Dalton treated his contrite wife, would be her gratitude and devotion;
and time would bring healing and forgetfulness of wrongs.
But some there were who gave always, expecting nothing in return, and
they, too, won happiness with the years--virtue being its own reward!
For the first time Honor was conscious of a great bitterness of spirit
as she sought oblivion in sleep.
She had just turned down the wick of her bedroom lamp--for it was
customary in those parts to sleep with a light burning low all night in
a bedchamber because of the lurking danger from snakes--when she heard a
sudden sound in the distance that rooted her to the spot. The next
instant her mother who had been awakened by it, called out from the
adjoining room:
"Honor, are you awake?"
"Yes. Did you hear that, Mother?"
"I was just wondering what it was. It sounded like a pistol shot."
"I thought so, too. Listen!--there are voices."
Mr. Bright, who was also disturbed, suggested in sleepy tones that his
wife and daughter should go to sleep and leave other people to mind
their own business. It was not part of his duty to look for trouble. It
came fast enough to him in the ordinary channels. If any one had been
killed, they would hear of it in due course.
"How cold-blooded!" said Mrs. Bright.
"We have quite enough of crime by day, my dear, without looking for it
with a lantern at night."
But the distant voices increased in agitation, and grew confused.
Drawing the window curtain aside, Honor looked out into the night and
saw unmistakable signs of alarm at Dalton's bungalow. Lights hurried to
and fro and conflicting orders were shouted by one servant to another.
In fact, it was very evident that something had gone seriously wrong.
"I wonder what could have happened?" said Mrs. Bright looking over her
daughter's shoulder. "See, there is someone coming to tell us about it."
A single light was moving swiftly towards the hedge that divided the two
gardens. Honor felt her heart paralysing as she watched the progress of
the lantern; a hand seemed tightening upon her throat and her limbs grew
palsied with fear. What was it they were coming so quickly to say?
An evil, dark face had risen before her imagination, and she heard again
the voice speaking to the basket-maker at the _mela_, vowing to take the
life of the surgeon who had been the cause of his only son's death. "Oh,
God!--oh, God!" burst from her lips.
"Honey! Honey! What is it you fear?" Mrs. Bright cried, gripping her by
the shoulders.
But Honor broke away from her mother and, with shaking fingers, flung on
her out-door clothes.
"Surely you are not going out?"
"Can't you understand, Mother?" she cried in strained, unnatural tones.
"They have killed him! I know they have killed him!"
"Sahib! Sahib!" called voices loudly on the verandah.
The coolies pulling at the _punkha_ joined in a chorus of "Sahib,
Sahib!"
"We are sent to call the _Bara Sahib_. Haste and wake him. A great
calamity hath befallen."
"A murder has been committed, wake the Sahib!"
"Good God!" exclaimed Mr. Bright springing from his bed. "What are they
saying? A murder? Where?"
"At Captain Dalton's bungalow. The doctor has been murdered!--how
terrible! Honor always said people were plotting against his life," said
Mrs. Bright, horror-stricken.
"Good God!" said Mr. Bright again as he pulled on his boots. "Tell them
I will be with them in a minute. Send someone to call Tommy Deare,
quickly."
In the meantime, Honor was speeding across the grass on her way to the
scene of the tragedy.