A GLORIOUS VICKTORIE.--THE LICKED CANDYDATE GENERATES BLUE
SULFROUS AIR ON ACCOUNT OF THE ACKSHUN OF HIS PLEGED
SUPPORTERS.
Xcitement is at fever heet, and tin horns and bonfires is seen and
hurd everywere. We've swep the hull State like a averlanche, and the
Republercan partie is deder'n a dore nale. Me and Joe Gilley is goin
to run this ere Guvment now for a wile, and you bet we'll run her with
discretion, and make a pile. I'm the hero of the Demmercrazy, and John
Kelley giv me and Jimmy a 5 dollar bill a peece, so as we'd have munny
enuf to hav sum fun with, cos Mr. Gilley sez I've ben workin purty hard,
and he guessed I'd better take a rest tomorrer.
The back strete was lined with dudes to-nite, and every one of them
crowded up to Lillyun wen she cum out the stage dore, but she didn't
speek to eny of them. They wus all purty hot, but they don't regret
the way they voted, cos they have the satysfackshun of knowin that the
Xecutiv Manshun 'll hav a occupant wot has a very asthetick blendin of
cullers in his mak up.
The Rerpublerkan candy date wot's got licked has gone and got orful mad
at the Methydist Conference and swares, by golly, he'll never donate a
nuther oyster to a church supper, and his remains 'll be smolderin down
b'low 'fore them ungrateful hyppercrites 'll hold a nuther mute soshell
in his house. His wife says she's goin ter sue them for the bord bill
of them hoary hedded old delergates, wots been palmed off on her for the
last fifteen years. She sez she alwuz expected sumthin 'd happen, cos
when the young mens christshun associashun convention cum off, they sent
all the yung and good lookin deler-gates over to Widder Masher's, cross
the street, and didn't giv her eny bodie but a lot of old men, wot was
just walkin round to save funeral xpenses.
The members of the Society of Henpecked husbands is looking like theyd
been drawd thru a not hole, cos there wives hav ben wearin the pants
again, and given them a taste of dissyplin for votin for a man wot has
as outspoken anty wimmins rites vues as Mr. Gilley.
I peeped in the windys of sevral banks on my way home, and most all of
the clurks has a scart and hunted look in there eyes, but I guess there
safe, cos the one who knoes, don't kno quite as much as they think he
does.
The Germans is jubilyant, cos they all helped to rebuke a insult I guess
they wuldn't feel so orful proud of theirselves if they'd hurd John
Kelley and Mr. Gilley talkin bout 'em, jest fore eleckshun, wen they was
considered doutful, and Mr. Gilley sed ------ the Duch.
Pollytishuns is purty persnickerty, eny-way. I bleive wen I get ter be
a big man I'll start out as a misshunary and devote my 'nurgies to savin
the souls of pollytickel office-seekers and candydates; taint no use
tryin to save there bodies, cos the devil's got a lien on them alreddy.