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New York, Saturday, September 11, 1858.
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Out with Them.
Our people have by this time purchased the significant lesson that it is
impossible to create an elective judiciary, worthy of esteem and capable
of discharging the onerous functions committed to their custody. The
learned Sancho Panza observed, with respect to the impossibility of
creating silk purses out of sows’ ears. We can do likewise as to the
utter inability of manufacturing judges, worthy of the ermine, from raw
material, such as Mr. Recorder Barnard and City Judge Russell, neither
of whom would be selected to decide upon the merits of a cock fight,
much less to determine the rights of personal liberty. Is the evil to be
longer endured, to be incessantly repeated, or are the people to take
the matter in their own hands that we may divest ourselves from the
burdens which Sinbad-like we are compelled to bear on our shoulders?
We have thoroughly tested the question of an elective judiciary, both
theoretically and practically, and we have arrived at one
conclusion—that we obtain politicians instead of judges, and thereby
jeopardize the very foundation of our national liberties. We have done
more, and openly pandered to the lowest vice in suffering the right of
ballot to be prostituted in order that the most unworthy of men may
creep into the judiciary. We have emptied the tap-rooms and bar-rooms of
their tenants, and have thus sullied the dignity of the ermine. We have
also done everything in our power to neutralize the benevolent
intentions of our republican institutions, by corrupting the only
safeguard for their perpetuation. And this series of calamities is
chiefly attributable to the introduction of the political manœvre of
rendering the judiciary elective, and thus we have sacrificed the wisdom
of our revolutionary ancestors.
A few years ago, when the judiciary were appointed by the State Senate,
and served until physical infirmities limited the term, the New York
Bench were unrivalled for learning, courtesy and literary acquirements.
Our criminal judges were particularly distinguished, and the name of
Richard Riker, for many years Recorder of New York, will be remembered
as that of a worthy and respected magistrate. Whence have we receded to
secure Russells and Barnards? Nay, we have even gone to the length of
creating offices which are perfectly useless, and filled them with idle
incumbents. Will any man say that the City Court exists as a matter of
necesity, or that the duties of the officers do not belong to other
authorities? If not, why not erect a court-room and not compel its
presiding dignitary to lounge a hanger-on the Court of Sessions.
Probably it is better for the common weal, and more in accordance with
Mr. Russell’s antecedents, that he be suffered to continue in this way
of life, in which the extent of mischief may be kept within limit. In
the approaching constitutional convention, the question of an elective
judiciary will be fairly at issue, and it is one duty that we owe to
ourselves to re-organize the magistracy, that its ancient character for
integrity and truth may be revived and perpetuated. This work of
purification will probably be strenuously opposed by those of our
politicians, who are dependent to the gangs of shoulder hitters, and
brothel pimps, now infecting our city and rendering the elective
franchise a political caricature. If we suffer this opportunity to
escape us, we are unworthy the character of freemen, and deservedly the
cellars of a judiciary, as incompent as it is useless, and as useless as
it is expensive.
The Tail of the Cable.
We have had our gay old time; our citizens have had fireworks, and
crackers, and cheese; our boys have had a turn-out, and our country
cousins have had a most stunning display of municipal greatness,—in a
word, we have glorified God, the Atlantic Cable, and the Field family.
This is all very well in its way; but when we come to pay for the
piping, we naturally inquire the reason for all this fuss and
commotion—for the only thing which appears to be quiet is the cable
itself, which neither works nor gives evidence of any inclination
towards labor. Now that we have had the fun, let us pay for it.
The people of England, who own the Telegraph, each end being limited to
British soil, and the whole line under control of British capitalists,
seem to have rejoiced over the success of the great event of the age in
a most rational and sensible manner, while we have apparently gone mad
with joy over an affair which, in nowise, can be construed into a
national subject. Degrading as it may be to our personal pride, Peter
Cooper, the Field family, and Archbishop John, to the contrary
notwithstanding, the Atlantic Telegraph is essentially an English
triumph; and in expending a large sum of money in an ebullition of
passing insanity, our citizens have only rendered themselves subjects
for merriment. Who will deny that, although the project of an Atlantic
Telegraph was first broached on this side of the Atlantic, almost the
entire credit of its success has been committed to British hands. The
money was raised in England, and three out of four vessels, engaged in
the enterprize, bore the British flag. And now have we any just excuse
to run mad with joy, and to add some fifty thousand additional taxes to
our already over-taxed community?
The very character of the procession which went through our streets was
a polite satire upon the occasion, as it can mainly be regarded as an
illegal method of advertising one’s wares, which, if persisted in, would
prove ruinous to the Sunday papers. We had cracker bakers, alcohol
dealers, gas stoves, and all that sort of thing, from the beginning to
the end of the chapter; and one, unacquainted with the nature of
municipal rejoicing, would conceive the demonstration to have been the
American Institute house-moving on the first of May. And now that the
reign of folly has past, and the festivity of the occasion wasted into
air, a second, sober thought suggests to us that we have been
manufacturing a very large quantity of excitement upon a very small
capital; and the more serious this consideration will become as the
moment of payment presses on us. We have no right to squander public
moneys, no more than that of embezzling from private persons; still we
are well aware that a different standard of morality governs the actions
of officials from those of the same beings in a mercantile character.
Now that we have reached the tail of the cable excitement, let us
propound a simple query: What have we gained by all this frenzy beyond
the glorification of one or two individuals, who have suddenly
discovered themselves to be great? We have foolishly spent a large sum
of money—we have made an exhibition of ourselves, and have no equivalent
to show in exchange for our funds and our honor. By the tail of the
cable hangs a curious tale indeed.
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TOO TRUE BY HALF.—One of our City Fathers, upon being solicited for a
ticket to the Cable Dinner on the 2d of September, refused, giving as a
reason that he could not venture to invite any of his friends, from fear
of introducing improper characters.
The Paupers at the Town Table.
If any man hangs around a public house, dependent upon the charity of
visitors for a drink, even if it be absolutely necessary to his health,
he is commonly honored with the epithet of a “bummer;” but when a highly
distinguished politician or other man, too indolent to do his own work
and subsisting from the public till, hangs around the City Hall,
awaiting the chances at the public table, we fail to recognize the
similarity of his condition with the dry and athirst of the common
tap-room. Now we are blind enough not to see the distinction between
these two classes of worthies, and we are stupid enough to enumerate
both as under the same category. It matters little to us whether the
guzzler at the Metropolitan feeds at the public expense, or Brown at the
Pewter Mug drinks from the involuntary contributions of Jones or any
other private individual. In both instances the principle is the same,
and a man who dines at the public expense, even if it be in the name of
Cyrus W. Field, is as much of a sucker as the lounger who insists upon
participating with you in a smile. They are both paupers, and should be
deservedly esteemed as such by an intelligent community. There is
nothing like calling things by their proper names, although they may be
distasteful to our so-called Reformers.
It is exceedingly strange that any body of men, pretending to advocate
retrenchment in our finances, will so barefacedly and undisguisedly
seize upon a large sum of money belonging, as they honorably admit, to a
most over-taxed municipality, and squander it for the least profitable
of animal passions. Three thousand dollars could be better expended in a
monument or other testimonial of our Cable joy, than to be guzzled down
by a bevy of hungry hounds, who would have claimed boon-companionship
with Judas Iscariot to get an invitation to the Last Supper. If it be
necessary to express our joy, why not do it in a rational manner, like
men gifted with reason, and not guzzle and swill like beasts of the
field? Still the invincible selfishness of our Aldermen demanded an
Aldermanic banquet, whence a majority of our officials will in all
probability be carried home on a shutter, if they do not succeed in
procuring accommodations at the public expense in the Fifteenth Ward
Station. Where better to end the bacchanalian revel? We had believed
that, when the iniquity of the tea-room was suppressed, and the bevy of
loafers who were wont to breakfast, dine and sup from the free lunch of
our Municipal tea-room, the whole fabrick of guzzling would be cast
down, so that every intelligent and reputable man would conceive it a
species of larceny to dine at the expense of the poverty-stricken
tax-payers. But that which is bred in the bone cannot come out from the
skin, and this habit of dining is too deeply seated to be eradicated
from these veterans at the public table. It would be a curious study for
a statician to compute the amount of groceries, wet and dry, consumed by
some of these well fed officials, and, when published, would afford a
very instructive lesson in municipal economy. We will venture to say
that Simeon Draper alone, in the course of his public services, has
deemed it a part of his duty to consume edibles and drinkables to the
extent at least of three thousand dollars. Here, then, is a question for
disputation at the Institute that, if the official keep of one man costs
such a sum, how much would it cost to support an army.
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☞ God made man, and he rested; then he made woman and rested; then he
invented the Beecher family and rested again, and then he created the
Field family; and there, let us hope, we come to a full stop.
Fish and Fowl.
Notwithstanding the heavy demonstrations of the Common Council, by word
of mouth and by strength of lung in favor of the Atlantic Cable, it
seems that the reception of the crew of the Niagara was entirely
overlooked by these distinguished characters, who, in their ovations to
Mr. Cyrus W. Field, and such like magnates, ignored the existence of
such a poor set of individuals as the absolute toilers, who live by the
sweat of their brow. To make up for this deficiency in courtesy, a few
gentlemen invited and gave a species of demonstration, wherein they
expected to realize something digestible for the poor Jacks of our navy,
who, in an humble way at least, contributed to the success of the great
event. Well, these gentlemen in hiring a room wherein the
speechification could be made, naturally stumbled upon the great Peter
Cooper Institute, first from the connection Peter had with the tail end
of the cable, and, secondly, from the fact that they labored under the
impression that the building had been given to our municipality for the
encouragement of arts and sciences, and, assuredly, what could be more
encouraging to science than a hearty meal after scientific labor?
The committee waited upon the proprietor of the Institute and discovered
the nightly rent for the use of the hall of the building, so
magnanimously donated to the city, to be $100. However, the breasts of
landlords are not always of stone, and the illustrious Peter, taking
into consideration the object and the occasion, kindly consented to
receive from the friends of poor Jack but one-half the usual price for
the loan of a building, vulgarly conceived to be public property. Now
who dares to assert that Peter, the great and liberal minded Peter
Cooper, never does things by halves?
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Cable Jollification.
Cyrus, the great, has been out on a fishing excursion; he has fished
with a long line, a keen hook, fine bait, and in deep water—caught a
fine kettle of fish and many shiners, over which the Cooper guild and
corporation feel disposed to make themselves jolly. This may all be very
well, but to us it looks very much like using an opportunity to make a
display and have a good time generally to glorify somebody at the
expense of the people.
With respect to the merits of this cable, Franklin bottled lightning,
Morse discovered the telegraph principle, Maury the telegraph plateau,
and Cyrus, with the assistance of Brooks, put the two together, for
commercial purposes, for which Cyrus is to be glorified forever, while
Franklin, Morse and Maury are forgotten. The whole cost of the cable
celebration, to the city, will not fall much short of $150,000. Cold
winter will soon be here, and thousands cold and hungry, without the
means to supply themselves with food and fuel; and we venture to say not
$500 could be raised from the corporation outside the usual
appropriations, to keep them from starvation or freezing. All this is
the result of a nice little arrangement by the city fathers, who are
mighty fond of guzzling at the public crib whenever an excuse can be
manufactured. This cable laying furnishes a good one, but the cable is
laid, so let “God be praised,” but not until Cyrus has had his share.
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OVERDONE.—It is now understood that the persecutors of Mr. Branch have
separated from co-partnership with Recorder Barnard, whom they charge
with having overdone matters. It is a pity, but Mr. Barnard will learn
that he cannot serve both God and man at the same time.
A Great Chance for Peter.
Now that we are going to have a new story on the City Hall, would it not
be an excellent opportunity to try the highly ingenious scheme of the
venerable Peter Cooper, of converting the new portion of that public
edifice into a water-tank? What a refreshing idea in the dog-days!
If Peter had only studied political economy as deeply as he has
hydraulics, he might have improved his scheme of fire-extinguishing and
rendered it at least self-paying, if not a source of revenue. During the
summer months, this artificial pond could be rendered an excellent
bathing-school, where, beneath the supervision of some of the unoccupied
police, small boys could be allowed, at a shilling a head, to indulge in
a hydropathic luxury of a dive and come up again. Beyond this, during
the winter, the pond being subject, we suppose, to the ordinary
afflictions of a cold, might be advantageously employed for the healthy
relaxation of skating, during which performance the venerable Peter may
patronize the public by an exhibition of his highly respected person,
after the manner of his great predecessor, Wonter Von Twiller. By this
ingenious arrangement the great water-tank of the great Peter may be
rendered as great an institution in a sanatory point of view, as his
Institute is to the intellectual world of our Atlantic Metropolis. Peter
should be a water-cure doctor.
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A Wonderful Invention.
Much has been said about the Albany Regency, whose lawgivers are Thurlow
Weed, Seward & Co., but they cannot compare with our great Puttyman,
Cooper, Draper & Co. For cunning reforms, soft soap and putty they have
no competitors. While the former has dined on politicians, the latter
has luxuriated on live alligators—of the short and long branch
species—until they are looking fat and greasy. We advise Weed and Seward
to look well to their pickets and walls at Syracuse on the 8th of
September, or our great city reformers will not leave them an atom of
power or greatness. Let Weed remember that these great lights of
Metropolitan glory, have a _peculiar_ way of doing business, unknown to
the scientific of the present day. The invention is said to be despotic
and arbitrary in its sway over the masses, but this can hardly be, for
our Metropolitans are clear-sighted people and would certainly have made
the discovery if such was the case; hence their popularity must
originate from the true greatness of their invention and the entire
approval and encomiums of the Press during the last three or four weeks.
It is seldom that any new invention confers honor, fame and fortune upon
the inventor, but this “Branch Incarceration” invention is a new era in
science, law and philosophy. The inventors are deserving of a monument
to perpetuate their memories to future posterity. Oh, great Puttyman,
little did you think, when superintending your humble paint manufactory,
that you would ever be connected in such a great discovery. How great,
how powerful is genius—God-like. Praise God, Puttyman, that you and your
fellow-inventors are not like other men.
CITY HALL BELL.—This loud, cracked-toned sentinel, having become ashamed
of the corruption in and round the City Hall, has left the top of that
institution and located itself outside on a wooden tower.
CENTRAL PARK.—Supposed to be completed about the year 1880—judging by
the last two years’ progress. Cost, impossible to estimate.
_TO THE EDITOR OF THE ALLIGATOR._
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NEW YORK. August 23, 1858.
SIR:—Hitherto I have refrained from addressing communications to the
newspapers upon _any_ subject of interest to the community, feeling
better satisfied in reading the comments of persons other than myself.
The course of the prosecution towards the unfortunate Mr. Branch leads
me, for the first time, to speak to the public through the columns of a
public journal, and suggests to me a number of ideas which, I think,
bear upon the subject. I am not a personal friend of Mr. Branch, never
having had half a dozen words of conversation with him. I look upon the
prosecution (or, more properly speaking, the persecution) of Mr. Branch
as a wholesale violation of the rights and privileges of the citizens of
New York, and a violent outrage upon the spirit and tenor of our laws.
For the first time in the history of our criminal jurisprudence, we find
a man charged with the commission of an offence against our laws,
arrested, indicted, tried, convicted, sentenced, and placed in the
vilest servitude, all within the space of two short weeks. In this
extraordinary trial we see, and painfully too, the establishment of a
precedent to take away our rights and subject our persons and property
to the ruthless grasp of an interested prosecution. ’Tis true that the
prosecutors in the case of Mr. Branch were _wealthy and in positions of
influence, and it was therefore to be expected that justice should lean
toward them_, to the taking away of the rights of a citizen who could
not boast of _wealth_. I assert, and without fear of truthful
contradiction, that two-thirds of our community to-day sympathize with
Mr. Branch, and look upon the course of the prosecution as a gross
violation of their own individual rights, and such a violation as loudly
calls for the indignation of the people; and it is indeed pleasant to
reflect, that to-day the persecutors of Mr. Branch are entitled to, and
willingly receive, the supreme contempt and unmitigated scorn of every
lover of justice; and I tell you, sir, _that_ scorn and contempt will
manifest itself at the ballot-box to such a degree, that _certain
persons_ will wither beneath the loud condemnation of the honest
citizen; and the time will come when justice shall not be thwarted by
the mere wink of two or three _self-interested_ individuals, who cannot
boast of any _particular merit_. I take the position, that whether Mr.
Branch be guilty or _not_ guilty, the trial was unfair and the sentence
unjust; and no evidence appears to my mind causing me to doubt but that
Mr. Branch’s assertions were correct. Would it not have been much
better, in order to the proper vindication of the character of the
person against whom the charges were made by Mr. Branch, that all the
circumstances connected with the affair should have been brought to
light by an even-handed, above-board trial? Then, if the charges were
false, the prosecution would have established their honor and integrity
in a manner which would have satisfied the community, and not led them
to look, as they now do, with suspicion. Beyond all this, Mr. Branch was
denied the right of a preliminary examination; thus showing that the
first step taken by the prosecution was illegal and unjust. These facts,
when presented to the mind of an enlightened public, present such
formidable proof of the injustice practised towards Mr. Branch, that it
is impossible to arrive at any other conclusion than that Mr. Branch has
been more sinned against than sinning. In conclusion I shall say, that,
from what I have discovered of public opinion, it is high time that
something should be done to rid ourselves of the present administration,
and to put in office men who can be relied upon; believing as they do
that Mr. Branch has been the victim of political persecution.
Let us hope that the time will soon come when the rights of the
community will be preserved, and their persons and property protected by
an enlightened, intelligent and honorable judiciary.