_Wednesday._--Violet has accepted me, this very day, the happiest of
my life. She is the sweetest and prettiest woman in the world. I have
loved her long and passionately. She has not loved me long, and she
could never love me passionately. She is rather unemotional. Even when
I kissed her this afternoon for the first time she was quite calm. She
tells me she has once loved, as though she could never love again. Her
previous sweetheart was a Captain. I am a mere writer. His name was
PERCY PLANTAGENET CHOLMONDELEY. Mine is JONES. I hope
that in time she may forget him.
_Thursday._--Meet her in the Row, and sit under the trees. She is fond
of horses. So am I, but I do not ride often. She mentions that Captain
CHOLMONDELEY was a splendid rider. Listen patiently to what
she tells me.
_Friday._--To the Opera with VIOLET and her people. She
does not care for GOUNOD'S _Faust_. Prefers a burlesque
with comic songs. Says the Captain sang comic songs admirably, with
banjo accompaniment. When it's well done, I also like that. Tell
her so. This encourages her to further reminiscences. Of course,
she is right to conceal nothing from me now we are engaged, but
frankness, even engaging frankness, may be carried too far. Manage
to change the subject at last, and then unfortunately the Soldier's
Chorus reminds her of a parody in an amateur burlesque which Captain
CHOLMONDELEY----and so on.
_Saturday._--Meet her at Hurlingham. She is so fond of polo. She says
the Captain was a splendid player. I expected that. A sort of Champion
of the World. Of course. I never played in my life. Listen to an
account of his exploits. Rather bored.
_Sunday._--Up the river. Very hot day. Delightful to lounge in the
shade and smoke. VIOLET more energetic. Compels me to exert
myself. She says the Captain could do anything in a boat. No doubt. I
am prepared to hear that he shot the Falls of Niagara in a punt. He was
a wonderful genius. I am tired of hearing of him.
_Monday._--To Mr. MONTGOMERY-MUMBY'S dance. VIOLET
there of course. We both like dancing. Get on charmingly together.
Suddenly something reminds her of the ever-lamented Captain P. P. C.
I suggest that he has said good-bye to her for ever, as his initials
show. She does not see the little joke. Have to explain it to her. Then
she says it is a very poor joke. No doubt it is, but she needn't tell
me so. Annoying. A certain coolness between us.
_Tuesday._--To the French play with VIOLET and her aunt.
She understands French very well. Seems to think a lot of me
because I know something of several languages. Ask her if Captain
CHOLMONDELEY was fond of learning languages. Am prepared to
hear that he was a second MEZZOFANTI. On the contrary, it
seems that he couldn't speak a word of anything but English, and that
he didn't speak very much that was worth hearing even in that. The only
French he could understand was in a _menu_. Apparently he never read
anything else in any language, except the sporting papers in English.
Have at last found something he could not do. Delighted. Unfortunately
show this. VIOLET begins to defend him. I say he must have
been rather a duffer. She retorts that I can't play polo. What has that
to do with it? Again a coolness between us.
_Wednesday._--It is all over! We have parted for ever. She could never
forget that confounded Captain. Asked her this morning, when she was
telling me of his shooting elephants, or alligators, or rabbits, or
sparrows, or something wonderful, why she did not marry him. She says
it was broken off. She shows me his last letter of farewell. I read
it critically. It is very short. Point out to her nine mistakes in
spelling, and four in grammar. She says I am brutal. Indignation.
Argument. Scorn. Tears. Farewell.
* * * * *
[Illustration: SO THAT DOESN'T COUNT.
"Are you sure they're quite Fresh?" "Wot a Question to arst! Can't
yer see they're Alive?" "Yes; but _you_'re _Alive_, you know!"]
* * * * *