... raised a point of order, when
A chunk of old red sandstone took him in the abdomen,
And he smiled a sort of sickly smile and curled upon the floor!
And the subsequent proceedings interested him no more.
But the matter seems to have dropped, and everything to have ended
peacefully--a great and bitter disappointment to all lovers of ructions.
* * * * *
Even in aquatic matters Ireland is a country of surprises. In the
Eight-oared race the other day for the "Pembroke Cup," there was a
dead-heat between the Shandon Boat Club and the Dublin University
Boat Club. In the row-off, the _Irish Independent_ says that "Boat
Club caught the water first, but after a few strokes Shandon forged
in front. After the mile mark, Shandon were rowing eighteen against
the Boat Club's nineteen or twenty. In the next three hundred yards
Boat Club dropped to seventeen, the others being steady at nineteen
all through. About one hundred and fifty yards off the fishery step
the Boat Club quickened up to forty and got within two feet of their
opponents. Then, amid the greatest excitement, Boat Club got in front
and won by a canvas." A stroke oar who can row a race at nineteen to
the minute all through is steadier but certainly less versatile than
one who can spring suddenly from the rate of seventeen to the rate
of forty. As admirable as either is the genius of the reporter who
describes the event.
* * * * *
Mr. H. M. HYNDMAN is the Socialist candidate for Burnley. He
advocates "the immediate nationalisation and socialisation of railways,
mines, factories, and the land, with a view to establishing organised
co-operation for production and distribution in every department under
the control of the entire community. There should be a minimum wage
of thirty shillings a week in all State and Municipal employment, as
well as in State-created monopolies." There's a modest and practical
programme for you! But this windy gentleman's opponents may reply
that they prefer the system of each for himself, and d----l take the
HYNDMAN, to all the verbiage of the Socialist froth-pot.
* * * * *
Many reasons have been given for the fall of the late Government. It
has been left to a correspondent of the _Birmingham Daily Post_ to
discover the real and only one. "It is most unfair," he says, "to hold
them entirely responsible for all the shortcomings, blunders, and
failures which distorted their administration. How could they help
these things? Has it never occurred to you that the Government of Lord
ROSEBERY was the '13th' Parliament of Queen VICTORIA?
Can anybody reasonably expect good government from a 13th Parliament?
It is out of all question." What _persiflage_, what wit!
* * * * *
I sorrow over the new town clock of Dalkey. In my _Freeman's Journal_ I
read that, at the monthly meeting of the Dalkey Township Commissioners,
a letter was read from Messrs. CHANCELLOR AND SONS, stating
that the new town clock could not be made to strike, but they could
make a new clock for £100. The letter was marked read--and no wonder.
If it can't strike, it had better be wound up, and Dalkey is obviously
the place to wind it. Otherwise there seems no reason in the Township's
name.
* * * * *
Clevedon is, I believe, in Somerset. Anyone in search of a sensation
ought to have gone there last week, for it is stated that "Mr.
VICTOR ROSINI'S Spectral Opera Company commenced a week's
engagement at the Public Hall on Monday evening." I cannot imagine
a spectral _basso_ or _tenore robusto_. And in any case, why should
the unfortunate operatic spectres be harried into giving public
performances?
* * * * *
MUSICAL HONOURS!!--The friends of Sir HENRY JAMES, Q.C.,
M.P., will celebrate his being raised to the peerage by serenading
with "_The Aylestone Chorus_."
* * * * *
[Illustration: "VIVA L'ITALIA!"
_Admiral Punch_ (_to Italia on the occasion of her Fleet visiting
England_). "WELCOME, _mia Bella_, to you and your splendid Ships! I
come of an old Italian Family myself!"]
* * * * *