_UNCLE SILAS_
When we reached the drawing-room, I resumed my chair, and my father his
slow and regular walk to and fro, in the great room. Perhaps it was the
uproar of the wind that disturbed the ordinary tenor of his thoughts; but,
whatever was the cause, certainly he was unusually talkative that night.
After an interval of nearly half an hour, he drew near again, and sat down
in a high-backed arm-chair, beside the fire, and nearly opposite to me, and
looked at me steadfastly for some time, as was his wont, before speaking;
and said he--
'This won't do--you must have a governess.'
In cases of this kind I merely set down my book or work, as it might be,
and adjusted myself to listen without speaking.
'Your French is pretty well, and your Italian; but you have no German.
Your music may be pretty good--I'm no judge--but your drawing might be
better--yes--yes. I believe there are accomplished ladies--finishing
governesses, they call them--who undertake more than any one teacher would
have professed in my time, and do very well. She can prepare you, and
next winter, then, you shall visit France and Italy, where you may be
accomplished as highly as you please.'
'Thank you, sir.'
'You shall. It is nearly six months since Miss Ellerton left you--too long
without a teacher.'
Then followed an interval.
'Dr. Bryerly will ask you about that key, and what it opens; you show all
that to _him_, and no one else.'
'But,' I said, for I had a great terror of disobeying him in ever so minute
a matter, 'you will then be absent, sir--how am I to find the key?'
He smiled on me suddenly--a bright but wintry smile--it seldom came, and
was very transitory, and kindly though mysterious.
'True, child; I'm glad you are so wise; _that_, you will find, I have
provided for, and you shall know exactly where to look. You have remarked
how solitarily I live. You fancy, perhaps, I have not got a friend, and
you are nearly right--_nearly_, but not altogether. I have a very sure
friend--_one_--a friend whom I once misunderstood, but now appreciate.'
I wondered silently whether it could be Uncle Silas.
'He'll make me a call, some day soon; I'm not quite sure when. I won't tell
you his name--you'll hear that soon enough, and I don't want it talked of;
and I must make a little journey with him. You'll not be afraid of being
left alone for a time?'
'And have you promised, sir?' I answered, with another question, my
curiosity and anxiety overcoming my awe. He took my questioning very
good-humouredly.
'Well--_promise_?--no, child; but I'm under condition; he's not to be
denied. I must make the excursion with him the moment he calls. I have no
choice; but, on the whole, I rather like it--remember, I say, I rather
_like_ it.'
And he smiled again, with the same meaning, that was at once stern and sad.
The exact purport of these sentences remained fixed in my mind, so that
even at this distance of time I am quite sure of them.
A person quite unacquainted with my father's habitually abrupt and odd way
of talking, would have fancied that he was possibly a little disordered in
his mind. But no such suspicion for a moment troubled me. I was quite sure
that he spoke of a real person who was coming, and that his journey was
something momentous; and when the visitor of whom he spoke did come, and he
departed with him upon that mysterious excursion, I perfectly understood
his language and his reasons for saying so much and yet so little.
You are not to suppose that all my hours were passed in the sort of
conference and isolation of which I have just given you a specimen; and
singular and even awful as were sometimes my _tête-a-têtes_ with my father,
I had grown so accustomed to his strange ways, and had so unbounded a
confidence in his affection, that they never depressed or agitated me in
the manner you might have supposed. I had a great deal of quite a different
sort of chat with good old Mrs. Rusk, and very pleasant talks with Mary
Quince, my somewhat ancient maid; and besides all this, I had now and then
a visit of a week or so at the house of some one of our country neighbours,
and occasionally a visitor--but this, I must own, very rarely--at Knowl.
There had come now a little pause in my father's revelations, and my fancy
wandered away upon a flight of discovery. Who, I again thought, could this
intending visitor be, who was to come, armed with the prerogative to make
my stay-at-home father forthwith leave his household goods--his books and
his child--to whom he clung, and set forth on an unknown knight-errantry?
Who but Uncle Silas, I thought--that mysterious relative whom I had
never seen--who was, it had in old times been very darkly hinted to me,
unspeakably unfortunate or unspeakably vicious--whom I had seldom heard my
father mention, and then in a hurried way, and with a pained, thoughtful
look. Once only he had said anything from which I could gather my father's
opinion of him, and then it was so slight and enigmatical that I might have
filled in the character very nearly as I pleased.
It happened thus. One day Mrs. Rusk was in the oak-room, I being then about
fourteen. She was removing a stain from a tapestry chair, and I watched the
process with a childish interest. She sat down to rest herself--she had
been stooping over her work--and threw her head back, for her neck was
weary, and in this position she fixed her eyes on a portrait that hung
before her.
It was a full-length, and represented a singularly handsome young man,
dark, slender, elegant, in a costume then quite obsolete, though I believe
it was seen at the beginning of this century--white leather pantaloons and
top-boots, a buff waistcoat, and a chocolate-coloured coat, and the hair
long and brushed back.
There was a remarkable elegance and a delicacy in the features, but also a
character of resolution and ability that quite took the portrait out of the
category of mere fops or fine men. When people looked at it for the first
time, I have so often heard the exclamation--'What a wonderfully handsome
man!' and then, 'What a clever face!' An Italian greyhound stood by him,
and some slender columns and a rich drapery in the background. But though
the accessories were of the luxurious sort, and the beauty, as I have said,
refined, there was a masculine force in that slender oval face, and a fire
in the large, shadowy eyes, which were very peculiar, and quite redeemed it
from the suspicion of effeminacy.
'Is not that Uncle Silas?' said I.
'Yes, dear,' answered Mrs. Rusk, looking, with her resolute little face,
quietly on the portrait.
'He must be a very handsome man, Mrs. Rusk. Don't you think so?' I
continued.
'He _was_, my dear--yes; but it is forty years since that was painted--the
date is there in the corner, in the shadow that comes from his foot, and
forty years, I can tell you, makes a change in most of us;' and Mrs. Rusk
laughed, in cynical good-humour.
There was a little pause, both still looking on the handsome man in
top-boots, and I said--
'And why, Mrs. Rusk, is papa always so sad about Uncle Silas?'
'What's that, child?' said my father's voice, very near. I looked round,
with a start, and flushed and faltered, receding a step from him.
'No harm, dear. You have said nothing wrong,' he said gently, observing
my alarm. 'You said I was always sad, I think, about Uncle Silas. Well,
I don't know how you gather that; but if I were, I will now tell you, it
would not be unnatural. Your uncle is a man of great talents, great faults,
and great wrongs. His talents have not availed him; his faults are long ago
repented of; and his wrongs I believe he feels less than I do, but they are
deep. Did she say any more, madam?' he demanded abruptly of Mrs. Rusk.
'Nothing, sir,' with a stiff little courtesy, answered Mrs. Rusk, who stood
in awe of him.
'And there is no need, child,' he continued, addressing himself to me,
'that you should think more of him at present. Clear your head of Uncle
Silas. One day, perhaps, you will know him--yes, very well--and understand
how villains have injured him.
Then my father retired, and at the door he said--
'Mrs. Rusk, a word, if you please,' beckoning to that lady, who trotted
after him to the library.
I think he then laid some injunction upon the housekeeper, which was
transmitted by her to Mary Quince, for from that time forth I could never
lead either to talk with me about Uncle Silas. They let me talk on, but
were reserved and silent themselves, and seemed embarrassed, and Mrs. Rusk
sometimes pettish and angry, when I pressed for information.
Thus curiosity was piqued; and round the slender portrait in the leather
pantaloons and top-boots gathered many-coloured circles of mystery, and the
handsome features seemed to smile down upon my baffled curiosity with a
provoking significance.
Why is it that this form of ambition--curiosity--which entered into the
temptation of our first parent, is so specially hard to resist? Knowledge
is power--and power of one sort or another is the secret lust of human
souls; and here is, beside the sense of exploration, the undefinable
interest of a story, and above all, something forbidden, to stimulate the
contumacious appetite.