When Mr. Aubrey arrived at Mr. Weasel's chambers, he looked dejected and
harassed; yet, exerting his powers of self-command, he at once addressed
himself, calmly and vigorously, to the business of the day. From time to
time he peremptorily excluded the distressing thoughts and recollections
arising out of his morning's interview with Mr. Runnington; and
succeeded in concentrating his attention upon a case of more than usual
intricacy and multifariousness of details, which Mr. Weasel, having
glanced over, had laid aside for a more leisurely perusal. He handed it,
however, to Mr. Aubrey soon after his arrival, with something
approaching to a secret satisfaction, in the expectation of its "proving
too much for him;" but he was mistaken. Mr. Aubrey left a little earlier
than usual; but not before he had sent in the voluminous "case" to Mr.
Weasel's room by the clerk, together with a half-sheet of draft paper,
containing a brief summary of the results at which he had arrived; and
which not a little surprised Mr. Weasel. The case did not happen to
involve much technical knowledge; but, as well in respect of the
imperfect manner in which it was drawn up, as of the confusion worse
confounded of the transactions themselves, out of which the questions
arose, there were required persevering attention, strength of memory,
and great clear-headedness. In short, Weasel owned to himself that Mr.
Aubrey had taken a very masterly view of the case; and how would his
estimate of his pupil's ability have been enhanced, by a knowledge of
the situation in which he was placed--one so calculated to distract his
attention, and prevent that hearty and complete devotion to legal
studies, without which Mr. Weasel well knew how vain was the attempt to
master them?
"Have you read Aubrey's opinion on that troublesome case--I mean the
Cornish Bank?" inquired Weasel, taking a pinch of snuff, of Mr.
Thoroughpace, another pupil who had just sat down beside Mr. Weasel, to
see him "settle" [_i. e._ score out, interline, and alter] a pleading
drawn by the aforesaid Thoroughpace. That gentleman replied in the
negative. "He's got a headpiece of his own, I can tell you!---Egad,
somehow or another, he always contrives to hit the nail on the head!"
"I'd a sort of notion, the very first day he came, that he was a
superior man," replied Thoroughpace. "He makes very few notes--seems to
trust entirely to his head"----
"Ah! a man may carry that too far," interrupted Mr. Weasel, thrusting a
pinch of snuff up his nose.
"Then I wish _I_ could," replied Thoroughpace. "Isn't there such a thing
as making _the hand engross the business of the head_?" Mr.
Weasel--recollecting that in his library stood twelve thick folio
volumes of manuscript "precedents," which he had been fool enough to
copy out with his own hand during his pupilage, and the first year or
two of his setting up in business--hemmed, and again applied to his
snuff-box. "How do you get on with Aubrey in the pupils' room?" he
inquired.
"Why, I didn't like him at first. Very reserved, and is not without
_hauteur_. Even now, though very courteous, he says little, appears
entirely absorbed by his studies; and yet he seems to have something or
other pressing on his mind."
"Ah! I dare say! Law's no trifle, I warrant him! No doubt it's
_teasing_ him!" replied Weasel, rather complacently.
"Do you know I should doubt it! I never saw a man to whom it seemed to
_yield_ so easily.--He's a particularly _gentlemanlike_ person, by the
way; and there's something very attractive in his countenance. He seems
highly connected."
"Oh--why, you've heard of the great cause of _Doe_ d. _Titmouse_ v.
_Jolter_, a Yorkshire ejectment case, tried only last spring
assizes?--That case, you know, about the effect of an _erasure_.--Well,
he's the defendant, and has, I hear, lost everything."
"You astonish me! By Jove, then, he had need work!"
"Shall _we_ set to work, Mr. Thoroughpace?" said Weasel, suddenly,
looking at his watch lying on his desk. "I've promised to let them have
these pleas by six o'clock--or the other side will be signing judgment;"
and plunging his pen into the inkstand, to work he went, _more suo_, as
if such a man as his pupil, Mr. Aubrey, had never existed. Weasel was
not at all a hard-hearted man; but I verily believe that if a _capias ad
satisfaciendum_ (_i. e._ final process to take the body into custody to
satisfy debt and costs) against Charles Aubrey, Esquire, had come into
Mr. Weasel's chambers to be "_settled_" as requiring special
accuracy--after humming and hawing a bit--and taking an extra pinch of
snuff, he would have done his duty by the document faithfully, marked
his _seven-and-sixpence_ in the corner, and sent it out indifferently
with other papers; consoling himself with this just reflection, that the
thing _must_ be done by _somebody!_ and he might as well have the _fee_
as any one else!
On Mr. Aubrey's return home to dinner, he found that his sister had
received another long letter from Dr. Tatham, to which was appended a
postscript mentioning Mr. Gammon in such terms as suggested to Mr.
Aubrey a little scheme which he resolved to carry into effect on the
morrow--namely, to call himself at the office of Messrs. Quirk, Gammon,
and Snap, and seek an interview with Mr. Gammon, who, Dr. Tatham stated,
had quitted Yatton for town only the day before the doctor had written
to Miss Aubrey. After a very restless and unhappy night, during which he
was tormented by all kinds of dismal dreams, Messrs. Quirk, Gammon, and
Snap figuring in each as the stern and mysterious arbiters of his
earthly destiny, he resolved to put an end to his present insupportable
suspense--to learn at once the extent of what he had either to hope or
to fear--by calling that very afternoon at Saffron Hill. For that
purpose, he quitted Mr. Weasel's at the early hour of three o'clock; and
straightway bent his steps towards those delectable localities--through
Fetter Lane to Hatton Garden, thence inquiring his way to Saffron Hill.
He was not long in finding the house of which he was in quest, his eye
being soon attracted by the great, gleaming brass-plate with the words
"QUIRK, GAMMON, and SNAP," as prominent and threatening as ever those
names had appeared to Titmouse in the day of _his_ agony and suspense.
_He_ had stood gazing at them with idiot longing and vulgar
apprehension, as the reader has seen. How very different a person now
looked at them with feelings of intense interest and overmastering
anxiety, as at the names of those who had him completely in their
power--his fortunes, his _liberty_, his livelihood, and that of the dear
beings whose interests, whose all on earth, whose personal safety--were
bound up in his! Mr. Aubrey, with a jaded air, dressed in a buttoned
black surtout, and with an umbrella under his arm, entered the hall,
where were sitting and standing several strange-looking people--one or
two suffering evidently great agitation; in fact, relatives of prisoners
whose trials for capital offences were coming on the next day at
Newgate--and made his way into a room, on the door of which he read
"Clerks' Room."
"Now, sir, your name and business?" said a showily dressed
Jewish-looking youth, with copious curls, lolling at a desk from which
he did not move, and speaking in a tone of very disagreeable assurance.
"Is Mr. Gammon within? my name is Aubrey," he added, taking off his hat;
and there was a certain _something_ in his voice, countenance, and
bearing--a certain courtly superiority--which induced the personage whom
he had addressed to slip off his stool, and exhibit as polite an air as
_he_ could possibly assume.
"Mr. Gammon is in his room, sir, and alone. I believe he is rather
busy," said the youth, going towards Mr. Gammon's room--"but I've no
doubt you can see him."
The fact was, that at that very moment Mr. Gammon was engaged drawing up
"Instructions to prepare Declaration" in an action for mesne profits
against Mr. Aubrey! He had only the day before returned from Yatton,
where circumstances had occurred which had quickened their intended
proceeding against that unfortunate gentleman--that being the first
quarter to which, at Mr. Titmouse's suggestion, they were to look for a
considerable supply of ready money. That morning, in the very room into
which Mr. Aubrey was to be presently shown, had taken place a long
discussion between Mr. Quirk and Mr. Gammon, on the very subject which
had now brought to their office Mr. Aubrey. Mr. Quirk was for making
short work of it--for "going straight a-head"--and getting the whole
£60,000 or security for the greater portion, and £20,000 down! Gammon,
however, was of opinion that that was mere madness; that by attempting
to proceed to extremities against so unfortunate a sufferer as Mr.
Aubrey, they could not fail of drawing down on themselves and their
client universal execration--(at _that_, Quirk only grunted and
grinned;) and, moreover, of driving Mr. Aubrey desperate, and forcing
him either to quit the country, or accept the protection of the
insolvent laws--at this Mr. Quirk looked serious enough. Gammon had, in
the end, satisfied his senior partner that their only chance was in
gentleness and moderation; and the old gentleman had, as usual, agreed
to adopt the plan of operations suggested by Gammon. The latter
personage had quite as keen a desire and firm determination as the
former, to wring out of their wretched victim the very last farthing
which there was the slightest probability of obtaining; for Titmouse had
pointed to that quarter for the discharge of his ten thousand pound
bond, and bill of costs (which--by the way--contained some three hundred
items, slightly varied in language, which stood also charged in their
bill to Mr. Aubrey!) then twenty--or at least fifteen thousand pounds,
were to be handed over to himself, Titmouse; and all the rest that could
be got, Mr. Gammon might appropriate to his own use. Such was the
prospective partition of the spoil!--Mr. Gammon's inquiries into Mr.
Aubrey's circumstances, had completely convinced him, however, that it
would be impossible to extract any considerable sum from that
unfortunate gentleman; and that if they could contrive to get payment of
their bill against him--perhaps substantial security for a portion--say
four or five thousand pounds--of the mesne profits; and his own personal
responsibility for the payment of any portion of the remainder,
hereafter--they had better rest satisfied--and look for liquidation of
their own heavy claim, to a mortgage upon the Yatton estates. Mr. Gammon
had also proposed to himself certain other objects, in dealing with Mr.
Aubrey, than the mere extraction of money from him; and, in short,
prompted by considerations such as those above intimated, he had come to
the determination, an hour or so before Mr. Aubrey's most unexpected
visit, to be at once prepared with the necessary means for setting in
motion legal proceedings for the recovery of the arrear of mesne
profits. But we are keeping Mr. Aubrey waiting, all this while, in the
outer office.
"Have I the honor to address Mr. Gammon?" commenced Mr. Aubrey,
courteously, on being shown into the room--not announced by name, but
only as "_a gentleman_"--where Gammon sat busily engaged writing out the
"Instructions" for framing the rack on which it was designed to extend
his unconscious visitor!
"Sir, my name _is_ Gammon," he replied, coloring a little--and rising,
with an expression of very great surprise--"I believe I have the honor
of seeing Mr. Aubrey?--I beg you will allow me to offer you a chair"--he
continued with forced calmness of manner, placing one as far distant as
was possible from the table, and, to make assurance doubly sure, seating
himself between Mr. Aubrey and the table; expecting to hear his visitor
at once open the subject of their bill, which they had so recently sent
in.
"Will you suffer me, Mr. Aubrey," commenced Gammon, with a bland and
subdued air, not fulsome, but extremely deferential, "before entering on
any business which may have brought you here, to express deep and
sincere sympathy with your sufferings, and my _personal_ regret at the
share we have had in the proceedings which have ended so adversely for
your interests? But our duty as professional men, Mr. Aubrey, is often
as plain as painful!"
"I feel obliged, sir," said Mr. Aubrey, with a sigh, "for your kind
expressions of sympathy--but I cannot for a moment conceive any apology
necessary. Neither I, nor my advisers, that I am aware of, have ever
had cause to complain of harsh or unprofessional treatment on your part.
Your proceedings certainly came upon me--upon all of us--like a
thunder-stroke," said Mr. Aubrey, with a little emotion. "I trust that
you have given me credit, Mr. Gammon, for offering no vexatious or
unconscientious obstacles."
"Oh, Mr. Aubrey! on the contrary, I am at a loss for words to express my
sense of your straightforward and high-minded conduct; and have several
times intimated my sentiments on that subject to Messrs.
Runnington"--Mr. Aubrey bowed--"and again I anxiously beg that you will
give me credit for feeling the profoundest sympathy"--he paused, as if
from emotion; and such might well have been excited, in any person of
ordinary feeling, by the appearance of Mr. Aubrey--calm and
melancholy--his features full of anxiety and exhaustion, and his figure,
naturally slender, evidently somewhat emaciated.
["I wonder," thought Gammon, "whether he has any _insurances on his
life_!--He certainly has _rather_ a consumptive look--I should like to
ascertain the fact--and in what office--and to what extent."]
"I trust, most sincerely, Mr. Aubrey, that the mental sufferings which
you must have undergone, have not affected your health?" inquired
Gammon, with an air of infinite concern.
"A little, certainly, sir, but, thank God, I believe not materially; I
never was very robust," he replied with a faint sad smile.
["_How like his sister!_"--thought Gammon, watching his companion's
countenance with real interest.]
"I am not quite sure, Mr. Gammon," continued Aubrey, "that I am
observing etiquette in thus coming to you, on a matter which you may
consider ought to have been left to my solicitors, and who know nothing
of my present visit--but"----
"An honorable mind like yours, Mr. Aubrey, may surely act according to
its own impulses with safety! As for etiquette, I know of no
professional rule which I break, in entering into a discussion with you
of any topic connected with the action which has recently been
determined," said Gammon, cautiously, and particularly on his guard, as
soon as his penetrating eye had detected the acuteness which was mingled
with the sincerity and simplicity of character visible in the oppressed
countenance of Mr. Aubrey.
"I dare say you can guess the occasion of my visit, Mr. Gammon?"
["There goes _our bill_!--Whew!--What now?" thought Gammon.]
Mr. Gammon bowed, with an anxious, expectant air.
"I allude to the question yet remaining between your client, Mr.
Titmouse, and me--the mesne profits"----
"I feared--I expected as much! It gave me infinite anxiety, as soon as I
found you were approaching the subject!"
"To me it is really a matter of life and death, Mr. Gammon. It is one
pressing me on, almost to the very verge of despair!"
"Do not, Mr. Aubrey," said Gammon, in a tone and with a look which
touched the heart of his agitated companion, "magnify the mischief.
Don't--I beg--imagine your position to be one so hopeless! What is there
to stand in the way of an amicable adjustment of these claims? If I had
my way, Mr. Aubrey--and if I thought I should not be acting the part of
the unjust steward in Scripture--I would write sixty thousand farthings
for sixty thousand pounds!"
"You have named the sum for which I believe I am legally liable to Mr.
Titmouse," said Mr. Aubrey, with forced composure; "it is, however, a
sum as completely out of my power to pay or secure--or even a quarter of
it--as to give him one of the stars."
"I am aware, Mr. Aubrey, that you must have had many calls upon you,
which must have temporarily crippled your resources"----
"Temporarily!" echoed Mr. Aubrey, with a sickening smile.
"I devoutly trust that it _is_ only temporary! For your own and family's
sake," he added quickly, observing the watchfulness with which his every
look and word was regarded by his companion. "Any proposal, Mr. Aubrey,"
he continued with the same apparent kindness of manner, but with serious
deliberation, "which you may think proper to make, I am ready--eager--to
receive and consider in a liberal spirit. I repeat--If I, only, had to
be consulted--you would leave this room with a lightened heart; but to
be plain and candid, our client, Mr. Titmouse, is a very difficult
person to deal with! I pledge my word of honor to you--[_Oh Gammon!
Gammon! Gammon!_]--that I have repeatedly urged upon Mr. Titmouse to
release you from all the rents which had been received by you previously
to your having legal notice of the late proceedings." I suppose Gammon
felt that this declaration was not received as implicitly as he desired,
and had expected; for with a slight stiffness, he added, "I assure you,
sir, that it is a fact. I have always been of opinion that the law is
harsh, and even faulty in principle, which, in such a case as
yours--where the possessor of an estate, to which he believed himself
born, is ousted by a title of which he had no previous knowledge, nor
MEANS of knowledge"--Gammon uttered this very pointedly, and with his
eye fixed searchingly upon that of Mr. Aubrey--"requires him to make
good the rents which he had so innocently appropriated to his own use.
That is my _opinion_, though it may be wrong. I am bound to say,
however, that as the law now stands--if Mr. Titmouse should, contrary to
my advice, determine to stand upon his strict rights"----Gammon paused,
shook his head, shrugged his shoulders, and looked with melancholy
significance at Mr. Aubrey.
"I am entirely at his mercy! that I perfectly understand. I do trust,
however, that in the name of our common humanity he will have some
consideration for the helpless--the miserable situation in which I am so
unexpectedly placed," said Aubrey, with mournful energy. "Never having
imagined it necessary to save money"----
"Oh no--nor, with such an income as yours was, to resort, I fear, to any
of the ordinary modes of providing against emergencies--by _insurance_
of your life, for instance"--interposed Gammon, sighing.
"No--sir! nothing of the sort"--["Ah!--the deuce you have not!" thought
Gammon]--"and I confess--I now bitterly feel--how improvident I have
been! My situation is so deplorable and desperate, that disguise would
be absurd, even could I stoop to it; and I declare, in the presence of
Heaven, Mr. Gammon, that without giving up the little remnant of plate I
have preserved, and my books, I am unable to liquidate even the amount
of your bill sent in the day before yesterday"--Gammon gazed at Aubrey
mournfully, but in silence--"and if my miserable remnant of means _be_
so appropriated, we are _literally beggars_"--he paused, and his voice
faltered.
"Indeed--indeed, you distress me beyond measure, Mr. Aubrey," said
Gammon, in a low tone.
"If you can but secure me, sir--and that is the object of this intrusion
upon you--a merciful interval, to prepare myself for the profession
which I have entered--the bar--whatever earnings I might obtain, after
leaving a bare maintenance for myself and family, shall be devoted
faithfully to liquidate the heavy claims upon me! For myself, Mr.
Gammon, I do not care about living upon bread and water for the next ten
years; but there are others"--his voice trembled. "Sir," he suddenly
added with almost passionate energy, "by every consideration which can
influence a gentleman, I conjure you to interfere between me and utter
immediate ruin!"
This was the real thrilling language of the heart; but it failed to
produce the least impression upon Gammon, in whom it excited only
intense chagrin and disappointment. "Oh, that it were but in my power,"
said he, however, with great energy, "to send you out of this room a
free man! If I alone were to be consulted," he continued with vivacity,
"I would instantly absolve you from all demands--or at least give you
your own time, and take no other security than your word and honor!"
"Oh! what a happy--happy man! what a happy family should we be if
only"----he could not finish the sentence, for he was greatly moved.
["Here's an infernal business!" thought Gammon to himself, and, bending
down his head, he covered his eyes with his hands;--"worse, far worse
than I had suspected. I would take five pounds for all _my_ residuary
interest in the sixty thousand pounds!! I've not the least doubt that
he's speaking the truth. But the _bill_ part of the business is highly
unsatisfactory! I should like my friend Quirk to be here just now!
Surely, however, Mr. Aubrey must be able to get security? With such
friends and connections as his!--If one could only get one or two of
them to join him in a bond for ten thousand pounds--stay--that won't
exactly do either--by the way--I _must_ have my thumb upon him!"]
"I am so profoundly affected by the situation in which you are placed,
Mr. Aubrey," said Gammon, at length appearing to have subdued his
emotion, and feeling it necessary to say something, "that I think I may
take upon myself to say the instructions which we have received _shall
not_ be acted upon, come what may. Those must be really monsters, not
men, Mr. Aubrey, who could press upon one in your position; and that
such should be attempted by one who has succeeded to your former
splendid advantages, is inconceivably shocking. Mr. Aubrey, _you shall
not be crushed_--indeed you shall not, so long as I am a
member--possibly not the least influential one--of this firm, and have
any weight with your formidable creditor, Mr. Titmouse. I cannot do
justice to my desire to shelter you and yours, Mr. Aubrey, from the
storm you dread so justly!" There was a warmth, an energy in Gammon's
manner, while saying all this, which cheered the drooping heart of his
wretched visitor. "What I am about to say, Mr. Aubrey, is in complete
confidence," continued Gammon, in a low tone. Mr. Aubrey bowed, with a
little anxious excitement in his manner. "May I rely implicitly upon
your honor and secrecy?"
"Most implicitly, sir. What you desire me to keep within my own breast,
no one upon earth shall know from _me_."
"There are serious difficulties in the way of serving you. Mr. Titmouse
is a weak and inexperienced young man, naturally excited to a great
pitch by his present elevation, and already embarrassed for want of
ready money. You may imagine, sir, that his liabilities to us are of
considerable magnitude. You would hardly credit, Mr. Aubrey, the amount
of mere money out of pocket for which he stands indebted to us; our
outlay during the last two years having considerably crippled our own
pecuniary resources in an extensive practice like ours, and driven us to
incur responsibilities which are beginning to occasion us personally
considerable anxiety. Of course, Mr. Aubrey, we must look to Mr.
Titmouse to be speedily reimbursed: he insists upon our immediately
calling upon you; and I have reason to suspect that he has at his elbow
one or two very heartless advisers, who have suggested this to him; for
he follows it most pertinaciously. That he cannot meet the liabilities I
have alluded to out of his annual income, without swallowing it up
entirely for eighteen months or two years, is certain. I regret to say
that Mr. Quirk and Mr. Snap encourage his disposition to press you;--do
not be alarmed, my dear sir!" he continued, observing the deadly
paleness of Mr. Aubrey, whose eye was riveted upon that of Gammon; "for
I declare that _I will_ stand between you and them; and it is enough for
me to say, moreover, that I have the _power_ of doing so. I am--but this
is committed specially and sacredly to your confidence--_the only person
living who happens to possess the means of controlling Mr. Titmouse_;
and since you have entered this room, I have resolved to _exercise_ my
powers. Now, bearing in mind that I have no legal authority from him,
and am, at the same time, only one of a firm, and assuring you that I am
entailing a serious personal responsibility upon myself in what I am
doing, let me throw out for your consideration my general notion of what
I think ought to be done--merely my off-hand notion."
"I perfectly understand you, sir--and am penetrated by a sense of
gratitude! I listen to you with inexpressible anxiety," said Mr. Aubrey.
"Had I been consulted," continued Mr. Gammon, "we should have proposed
to you, with reference to our bill, (which I frankly acknowledge
contains a much more liberal entry than would probably be allowed on
taxation, but with equal truth I declare that it is none of _my_
doing,")--Gammon knew the credit for candor which this acknowledgment of
a fact, of which Messrs. Runnington would quickly apprise Mr. Aubrey
after examining the bill, was likely to obtain for him with Mr.
Aubrey--"I say, I should have _proposed_ to you, in the first instance,
the payment of our bill by easy instalments, during the next three or
four years, provided you could have obtained partial security. But I am
only one of three, and I know the determination of Mr. Quirk and Mr.
Snap, not to listen to any proposal with reference to the mesne profits
which is not based upon--in short, they say, _the bill must be paid at
once without being looked into_--I mean," he added quickly, "without its
being subjected to the harassing and protracted scrutiny which a
distrustful, an ungrateful client, or unreasonable opponent, has it too
frequently in his power to inflict. Oh, let me disguise nothing from
you, my dear sir, in a conversation of this kind between two gentlemen!"
continued Gammon, with an admirable air of frankness, for he perceived
that Mr. Aubrey looked slightly staggered. "I am ashamed to acknowledge
that our bill does contain exorbitant entries--entries which have led to
very frequent and fierce disputes between me and my partners. But _what
is to be done_? Mr. Quirk is--to be completely candid with you--the
moneyed man of the firm; and if you were but to glance at the articles
of our partnership"--Gammon shrugged his shoulders and sighed--"you
would see the tyrannical extent of power over us which he has thereby
secured! You observe how candid I am--perhaps foolishly so."
["I've not quite mastered him--I can tell it by his eye"--thought
Gammon--"is this a game of chess between us? I wonder whether, after
all, Messrs. Runnington are aware of his being here--knowing and
trusting to his ability--and have put him thoroughly on his guard? He is
checking strong feelings incessantly, and evidently weighing every word
I utter. Misery has sharpened faculties naturally acute."]
"Pray do not say so, Mr. Gammon, I fully appreciate your motives. I am
devoured with anxiety for an intimation of the nature of the terms which
you were about, so kindly, to specify."
"_Specify_, Mr. Aubrey, is perhaps rather too strong a term--but to
proceed. Supposing the preliminary matter which I have alluded to
satisfactorily arranged, I am disposed to say, that if you could find
security for the payment of the sum of ten thousand pounds within a
year, or a year and a half"--[Mr. Aubrey's teeth almost chattered at the
mention of it]--"I--I--that is, _my_ impression is--but--I repeat--it is
only _mine_"--added Gammon, earnestly--"that the rest should be left to
your own honor, giving at the same time a personal undertaking to pay at
a future--a very distant day--in the manner most convenient to
yourself--the sum of ten thousand pounds more--making in all only
one-third of the sum due from you; and receiving an absolute release
from Mr. Titmouse in respect of the remaining two-thirds, namely, forty
thousand pounds."
Mr. Aubrey listened to all this with his feelings and faculties strung
to the utmost pitch of intensity; and when Gammon had ceased,
experienced a transient sense, as if the fearful mountain which had
pressed so long on his heart were moving.
"Have I made myself intelligible, Mr. Aubrey?" inquired Gammon, kindly,
but very gravely.
"Perfectly--but I feel so oppressed and overwhelmed with the magnitude
of the topics we are discussing, that I scarcely at present appreciate
the position in which you would place me. I must throw myself, Mr.
Gammon, entirely upon your indulgence!"
Gammon looked a little disappointed.
"I can imagine your feelings, sir," said he, as, thrusting into a heap
the papers lying on the table, he threw them into a drawer, and then
took a sheet of paper and a pencil; and while he made a few memoranda of
the arrangement which he had been mentioning, he continued--"You
see--the grand result of what I have been hastily sketching off is--to
give you ample time to pay the amount which I have named, and to relieve
you, at once, _absolutely_ from no less a sum than FORTY THOUSAND
POUNDS," said he, with emphasis and deliberation, "for which--and with
interest--you will otherwise remain liable to the day of your
death;--there can be no escape," he continued with pointed significance
of manner--"except, perhaps, into banishment, which, with your feelings,
would be worse than death--for it would--of course--be a _dishonorable_
exile--to avoid just liabilities;--and those who bear your name would,
in such an"----
"Pray, sir, be silent!" exclaimed Mr. Aubrey, in a tone and manner which
electrified Gammon, who started in his chair. Mr. Aubrey's face was
whitened; his eye glanced lightning at his companion. Dagon-like, Gammon
had put forth his hand and touched the ark of Aubrey's honor. Gammon
lost his color, and for, perhaps, the first time in his life, quailed
before the majesty of man; 'twas also the majesty of suffering; for he
had been torturing a noble nature. Neither of them spoke for some
time--Mr. Aubrey continuing highly excited--Gammon gazing at him with
unfeigned amazement. The paper which he held in his hand rustled, and he
was obliged to lay it down on his lap, lest Mr. Aubrey should notice
this evidence of his agitation.
"I am guilty of great weakness, sir," said at length Mr. Aubrey--his
excitement only a little abated. He stood erect, and spoke with stern
precision; "but you, perhaps unconsciously, provoked the display of it.
Sir, I am ruined; I am a beggar: we are all ruined; we are all beggars:
it is the ordering of God, and I bow to it. But do you presume, sir, to
think that at last my HONOR is in danger? and consider it necessary, as
if you were warning one whom you saw about to become a criminal, to
expatiate on the nature of the meditated act by which I am to disgrace
myself and my family?" Here _that family_ seemed suddenly standing
around him: his lip quivered; his eyes filled; he ceased speaking; and
trembled with excessive emotion.
"This is a sally equally unexpected, Mr. Aubrey, and, permit me to add,
unwarrantable," said Gammon, calmly, having recovered his
self-possession. "You have entirely misunderstood me, sir; or I have
ill-explained myself. Your evident emotion and distress touch my very
soul, Mr. Aubrey." Gammon's voice trembled. "Suffer me to tell
you--unmoved by your violent rebuke--that I feel an inexpressible
respect and admiration for you, and am miserable at the thought of one
word of mine having occasioned you an instant's uneasiness." When a
generous nature is thus treated, it is apt to feel an excessive
contrition for any fault or extravagance which it may have committed--an
excessive appreciation of the pain which it may have inflicted on
another. Thus it was, that by the time Gammon had done speaking, Mr.
Aubrey felt ashamed and mortified at himself, and conceived an
admiration of the dignified forbearance of Gammon, which quickly
heightened into respect for his general character as it appeared to
Aubrey, and fervent gratitude for the disposition which he had evinced,
from first to last, so disinterestedly to serve a ruined man. He seemed
now to view all that Gammon had proposed in quite a new light--through
quite another medium; and his excited _feelings_ were in some danger of
disturbing his _judgment_.
"As I am a man of business, Mr. Aubrey," said Gammon, shortly
afterwards, with a very captivating smile--how frank and forgiving
seeming his temper, to Aubrey!--"and this is a _place_ for business,
shall we resume our conversation? With reference to the first ten
thousand pounds, it can be a matter of future arrangement as to the mode
of securing its payment; and as for the remaining ten thousand, if I
were not afraid of rendering myself personally liable to Mr. Titmouse
for neglecting my professional duty to him, I should be content with
your verbal promise--your mere word of honor, to pay it, as and when you
conveniently could. But in justice to myself, I really must take a
_show_ of security from you. Say, for instance, two promissory notes,
for £5,000 each, payable to Mr. Titmouse. You may really regard them as
matters of mere form; for, when you shall have given them to me, they
will be deposited _there_," (pointing to an iron safe,) "and not again
be heard of until you may have thought proper to inquire for them. The
influence which I happen to have obtained over Mr. Titmouse, you may
rely upon my exercising with some energy, if ever he should be disposed
to press you for payment of either of the instruments I have mentioned.
I tell you candidly that they must be _negotiable_ in point of form; but
I assure you, as sincerely, that I will not permit them to be
negotiated. _Now_, may I venture to hope that we understand each other?"
added Gammon, with a cheerful air; "and that this arrangement, if I
shall be only able to carry it into effect, is a sufficient evidence of
my desire to serve you, and will relieve you from an immense load of
anxiety and liability?"
"An immense--a crushing load, indeed, sir, if Providence shall in any
manner (to me at present undiscoverable) enable me to perform _my_ part
of the arrangement, and if _you_ have but power to carry your views into
effect," replied Mr. Aubrey, sighing heavily, but with a look of
gratitude.
"Leave that to _me_, Mr. Aubrey; I will undertake to do it; I will move
heaven and earth to do it--and the more eagerly, that I may thereby hope
to establish a kind of set-off against the misery and loss which my
professional exertions have unfortunately contributed to occasion
you--and your honored family!"
"I feel deeply sensible of your very great--your unexpected kindness,
Mr. Gammon; but still, the arrangement suggested is one which occasions
me dreadful anxiety as to my being ever able to carry out _my_ part of
it."
"Never, never despair, Mr. Aubrey! Heaven helps those who help
themselves; and I really imagine I see your powerful energies already
beginning to surmount your prodigious difficulties! When you shall have
slept over the matter, you will feel the full relief which this proposed
arrangement is so calculated to afford your spirits. Of course, too, you
will lose no time in communicating to Messrs. Runnington the nature of
the proposal. I can predict that they will be not a little disposed to
urge upon you its completion. I cannot, however, help once more
reminding you, in justice to myself, Mr. Aubrey, that it is _but_ a
proposition, in making which, I hope it will not prove that I have been
carried away by my feelings much further than my duty to my client or
his interests "----
Mr. Aubrey was afraid to hear him finish the sentence, lest the faint
dawn of hope should disappear from the dark and rough surface of the sea
of trouble upon which he was being tossed. "I _will_ consult, as you
suggest, sir, my experienced and honorable professional advisers; and
am strongly inclined to believe that they will feel as you predict. I am
of course bound to defer to _them_,"----
"Oh, certainly! certainly! I am very strict in the observance of
professional etiquette, Mr. Aubrey, I assure you; and should not think
of going on with this arrangement, except with their concurrence, acting
on your behalf. One thing I have to beg, Mr. Aubrey, that either you or
they will communicate the result of your deliberations to _me_,
personally. I am very desirous that the suggested compromise should be
broken to my partners and our client by _me._--By the way, if you will
favor me with your address, I will make a point of calling at your
house, either late in the evening or early in the morning."
[As if Messrs. Quirk, Gammon, and Snap had not kept eagle eyes upon his
every movement since quitting Yatton, with a view to any sudden
application for a writ of _Ne Exeas_, which a suspicious approach of his
towards the sea-coast might render necessary!]
"I am infinitely obliged to you, sir--but it would be far more
convenient for both of us, if you could drop me a line, or favor me with
a call at Mr. Weasel's, in Pomegranate Court in the Temple."
Gammon blushed scarlet: but for this accidental mention of the name of
Mr. Weasel, who was one of the pleaders occasionally employed by Messrs.
Quirk, Gammon, and Snap in heavy matters--in all probability Mr. Aubrey
might, within a day or two's time, have had to exercise his faculties,
if so disposed, upon a declaration of Trespass for Mesne Profits, in a
cause of "TITMOUSE _v._ AUBREY!"
"As you choose, Mr. Aubrey," replied Gammon, with difficulty concealing
his feelings of pique and disappointment at losing the opportunity of a
_personal introduction by Mr. Aubrey to his family_. After a few words
of general conversation, Gammon inquiring how Mr. Aubrey liked his new
profession, and assuring him, in an emphatic manner, that he might rely
upon being supported, from the moment of his being called to the bar, by
almost all the common-law business of the firm of "Quirk, Gammon, and
Snap"--they parted. It had been to Mr. Aubrey a memorable interview--and
to Gammon a somewhat arduous affair, taxing to an unusual extent his
great powers of self-command, and of dissimulation. As soon as he was
left alone, his thoughts instantly recurred to Aubrey's singular burst
of hauteur and indignation. Gammon had a stinging sense of submission to
superior energy--and felt indignant with himself for not having at the
moment resented it. Setting aside this source of exquisite irritation to
the feelings of a proud man, he felt a depressing consciousness that he
had not met with his usual success in his recent encounter with Mr.
Aubrey; who had been throughout cautious, watchful, and courteously
_distrustful_. He had afforded occasional glimpses of the unapproachable
pride of his nature--and Gammon had crouched! Was there anything in
their interview--thought he, walking thoughtfully to and fro in his
room--which, when Aubrey came to reflect upon--for instance--had Gammon
disclosed too much concerning the extent of his influence over Titmouse?
His cheek slightly flushed; a sigh of fatigue and excitement escaped
him; and gathering together his papers, he began to prepare for quitting
the office for the day.
Mr. Aubrey left Messrs. Quirk, Gammon, and Snap's office with feelings
of mingled exhaustion and despondency. As he walked down Saffron Hill--a
dismal neighborhood!--what scenes did he witness! Poverty and profligacy
revelling, in all their wild and revolting excesses! _Here_, was an
Irishman, half-stupefied with liquor and bathed in blood, having just
been rescued from a savage fight in a low underground public-house
cellar, by his squalid wife, with dishevelled hair and a filthy infant
in her arms--who walked beside him cursing, pinching, and striking
him--reproaching him with the knowledge that she and her seven children
were lying starving at home. Presently he stumbled; she with her
wretched infant falling down with him; and she lay striking, and
scratching, and abusing him till some one interfered.
_There_, was a woman--as it were a bloated mass of filth steeped in
gin--standing with a drunken smile at an old-clothes stall, pawning a
dirty little shirt, which she had a few minutes before stripped from the
back of one of her four half-naked children!
A little farther on, was a noisy excited crowd round two men carrying a
shutter, on which was strapped the bleeding body (a handkerchief spread
over the face) of a poor bricklayer, who had fallen a few minutes before
from the top of some scaffolding in the neighborhood, and was at that
instant in the agonies of death--leaving behind him a wife and nine
children, for whom the poor fellow had long slaved from morning to
night, and who were now ignorant of the frightful fate which had
befallen him, and that they were left utterly destitute.
_There_, was a skinny little terrified urchin, about eight years old,
with nothing to conceal his dirty, half-starved body, but a tattered
man's coat, pinned round him; dying with hunger, he had stolen a
villanous-looking bare bone--scarce a halfpenny worth of meat upon it;
and a brawny constable, his knuckles fiercely dug into the poor little
offender's neck, (with his tight grasp,) was leading him off, followed
by his shrieking mother, to the police-office, whence he would be
committed to Newgate; and thence, after two or three months'
imprisonment, and being flogged--miserable little wretch!--by the common
hangman, (who had hanged the child's father some six months before,) he
would be discharged--to return probably several times and undergo a
similar process; then to be transported; and finally be hanged, as had
been his father before him.
These startling scenes passed before Mr. Aubrey, in the course of a five
minutes' walk down Saffron Hill--during which period he now and then
paused, and gazed around him with feelings of pity, of astonishment, of
disgust, which presently blended and deepened into a dark sense of
horror. These scenes, to some so fatally familiar--_fatally_, I mean, on
account of the INDIFFERENCE which familiarity is apt to induce--to Mr.
Aubrey, had on them all the frightful glare of _novelty_. He had never
witnessed anything of the sort before; and had no notion of its
existence. The people residing on each side of the Hill, however, seemed
accustomed to such scenes; which they appeared to view with the same
dreadful indifference with which a _lamb led to the slaughter_ is beheld
by one who has spent his life next door to the slaughter-house. The Jew
clothesman, before whose shop-window, arrested by the horrifying
spectacle of the bleeding wretch borne along to the hospital--Mr. Aubrey
had remained standing for a second or two--took the opportunity to
assail him, with insolent and pertinacious importunities to purchase
some articles of clothing! A fat baker, and a greasy eating-house
keeper, stood each at his door, one with folded arms, the other with his
hands thrust into his pockets--both of them gazing with a grin at two
curs fighting in the middle of the street--oh, how utterly insensible to
the ravenous want around them! The pallid spectres haunting the
gin-shop--a large splendid building at the corner--gazed with sunken
lack-lustre eye, and drunken apathy, at the shattered man who was being
borne by.
Ah, God! what scenes were these! And of what other hidden wretchedness
and horror did they not indicate the existence! "Gracious mercy!"
thought Aubrey, "what a world have I been living in! And this dismal
aspect of it exposed to me just when I have lost all power of relieving
its wretchedness!"--here a thrill of anguish passed through his
heart--"but woe, woe is me! if at this moment I had a thousand times ten
thousand a-year, how far would it go amid the scenes similar to this,
_abounding_ in this one city? Oh God! what unutterable horror must be in
store for those who, intrusted by Thee with an overflowing abundance,
disregard the misery around them in guilty selfishness and indolence,
or"--he shuddered--"expend it in sensuality and profligacy! Will DIVES
become sensible of his misconduct, only when he shall have entered upon
his next stage of existence, and of punishment? Oh, merciful Creator!
how is my heart wrung by the sight of horrors such as these? Awful and
mysterious Author of our existence, _Father of the spirits of all
flesh_, are these states of being which Thou hast ordained? Are these
Thy children? Are these my fellow-creatures? Oh, help me! help me! my
weak heart faints; my clouded understanding is confounded! I
cannot--insect that I am!--discern the scope and end of Thy economy, of
Thy dread government of the world; yet blessed be the name of my God!--I
KNOW that _thou reignest!_ though _clouds and darkness are around thee!_
_righteousness and judgment are the habitation of thy throne!_ _with
righteousness shalt thou judge the world_, AND THE PEOPLE WITH EQUITY!"
Like as the lesser light is lost in the greater, so, in Aubrey's case,
was the lesser misery he suffered, merged in his sense of the greater
misery he witnessed. What, after all, was his position, in comparison
with that of those now before and around him? What cause of thankfulness
had he not, for the merciful mildness of even the dispensations of
Providence towards him? Such were his thoughts and feelings, as he stood
gazing at the objects which had called them forth, when his eye lit on
the figure of Mr. Gammon approaching him. He was threading his way,
apparently lost in thought, through the scenes which had so powerfully
affected Mr. Aubrey; who stood eying him with a sort of unconscious
intensity, as if secure from his observation, till he was actually
addressed by him.
"Mr. Aubrey!" exclaimed Gammon, courteously saluting him. Each took off
his hat to the other. Though Aubrey hardly intended it, he found himself
engaged in conversation with Gammon, who, in a remarkably feeling tone,
and with a happy flattering deference of manner, intimated that he could
guess the subject of Mr. Aubrey's thoughts, namely, the absorbing
matters which they had been discussing together.
"No, it is not so," said Mr. Aubrey, with a sigh, as he walked
on--Gammon keeping easily beside him--"I have been profoundly affected
by scenes which I have witnessed in the immediate neighborhood of your
office, since quitting it; what misery! what horror!"
"Ah, Mr. Aubrey!"--exclaimed Gammon, echoing the sigh of his companion,
as they slowly ascended Holborn Hill, separate, but side by side--"what
a checkered scene is life! Guilt and innocence--happiness and
misery--wealth and poverty--disease and health--wisdom and
folly--sensuality and refinement--piety and irreligion--how strangely
intermingled we behold them, wherever we look on life--and how
difficult, to the philosopher, to detect the principle"----
"Difficult?--Impossible! Impossible! God alone can do so!"--exclaimed
Mr. Aubrey, thoughtfully.
"Comparison, I have often thought," said Gammon, after a pause--"of
one's own troubles with the greater misfortunes endured by others, is
beneficial or prejudicial--consolatory or disheartening--according as
the mind of him who makes the comparison is well or ill
regulated--possessed or destitute, of moral and religious principle!"
"It is so, indeed," said Mr. Aubrey. Though not particularly inclined to
enter into or prolong conversation, he was pleased with the tone of his
companion's remark.
"As for me," proceeded Gammon, with a slight sigh--"the absorbing
anxieties of professional life; and, too, in a line of professional life
which, infinitely to my distaste, brings me constantly into scenes such
as you have been observing, have contributed to render me, I fear, less
sensible of their real character; yet can I vividly conceive the effect
they must, when first seen, produce upon the mind and heart of a
compassionate, an observant, a reflecting man, Mr. Aubrey!"
Gammon looked a gentleman; his address was easy and insinuating, full of
delicate deference, without the slightest tendency to cant or
sycophancy; his countenance was an intellectual and expressive one; his
conversation that of an educated and thinking man. He was striving his
utmost to produce a favorable impression on Mr. Aubrey; and, as is very
little to be wondered at, he succeeded. By the time that they had got
about twenty yards beyond Fetter Lane, they might have been seen walking
together, arm-in-arm. As they approached Oxford Street, they suddenly
encountered Mr. Runnington.
"God bless me, Mr. Aubrey!" said he, surprisedly--"and Mr. Gammon? How
do you do, Mr. Gammon?"--he continued, taking off his hat with a little
formality, and speaking in a corresponding tone; but he was encountered
by Gammon with greatly superior ease and distance, and was not a little
nettled at it; for he was so palpably foiled with his own weapons.
"Well--I shall now resign you to your legitimate adviser, Mr. Aubrey,"
said Gammon, with a smile; then, addressing Mr. Runnington, in whose
countenance pique and pride were abundantly visible--"Mr. Aubrey has
favored me with a call to-day, and we have had some little discussion on
a matter which he will explain to you. As for me, Mr. Aubrey, I ought to
have turned off two streets ago--so I wish you good-evening."
Mr. Aubrey and he shook hands as they exchanged adieus: Mr. Runnington
and he simply raised each his hat, and bowed to the other with cold
politeness. As Mr. Runnington and Mr. Aubrey walked westward together,
the former, who was a very cautious man, did not think fit to express
the uneasiness he felt at Mr. Aubrey's having entered into anything like
confidential intercourse with one whom he believed to be so subtle and
dangerous a person as Mr. Gammon. He was, however, very greatly
surprised when he came to hear of the proposal which had been made by
Mr. Gammon, concerning the mesne profits; which, he said, was so
unaccountably reasonable and liberal, considering the parties by whom it
was made, that he feared Mr. Aubrey must be lying under some mistake. He
would, however, turn it anxiously over in his mind, and consult with his
partners; and, in short, do whatever they conceived best for Mr.
Aubrey--that he might depend upon. "And, in the mean time, my dear sir,"
added Mr. Runnington, with a smile designed to disguise considerable
anxiety, "it may be as well for you not to have any further personal
communication with these parties, whom you do not know as well as we do;
but let _us_ negotiate with them in everything, even the very least!"
Thus they parted; and Mr. Aubrey entered Vivian Street with a
considerably lighter heart than he had ever before carried into it. A
vivid recollection of the scenes which he had witnessed at Saffron Hill,
caused him exquisitely to appreciate the comforts of his little home,
and to return the welcomes and caresses which he received, with a kind
of trembling tenderness and energy. As he folded his still blooming but
somewhat anxious wife fondly to his bosom, kissed his high-spirited and
lovely sister, and fondled the prattling innocents who came clambering
up upon his lap, he forgot, for a while, the difficulties but remembered
the _lessons_, of the day.
We must, however, now return to Yatton, where some matters had
transpired which are not unworthy of being recorded. Though Mr. Yahoo
paid rather anxious court to Mr. Gammon, who was very far too much for
him in every way, 'twas plain that he dreaded and disliked, as much as
he was despised by, that gentleman. Mr. Gammon had easily extracted from
Titmouse evidence that Yahoo was endeavoring, from time to time,
artfully to set him against his protector, Mr. Gammon. This was
_something_; but more than this--Yahoo, a reckless rollicking villain,
was obtaining a growing ascendency over Titmouse, whom he was rapidly
initiating into all kinds of vile habits and practices; and, in short,
completely corrupting him. But, above all, Gammon ascertained that Yahoo
had already commenced, with great success, his experiments upon the
purse of Titmouse. Before they had been a week at Yatton, down came a
splendid billiard-table with its appendages from London, accompanied by
a man to fix it--as he did--in the library, which he quickly denuded of
all traces of its former character; and here Yahoo, Titmouse, and
Fitz-Snooks would pass a good deal of their time. Then they would have
tables and chairs, with cards, cigars, and brandy and water, placed upon
the beautiful "soft, smooth-shaven lawn," and sit there playing
_écarté_, at once pleasantly soothed and stimulated by their cigars and
brandy and water, for half a day together. Then Yahoo got up frequent
excursions to Grilston, and even to York; where, together with his two
companions, he had "great sport," as the newspapers began to intimate
with growing frequency and distinctness. Actuated by that execrable
licentiousness with reference to the female sex, by which he was
peculiarly distinguished, and of which he boasted, he had got into
several curious adventures with farmers' girls, and others in the
vicinity of Yatton, and even among the female members of the
establishment at the Hall; in which latter quarter Fitz-Snooks and
Titmouse began to imitate his example. Mr. Gammon had conceived a horrid
loathing and disgust for the miscreant leader into these enormities;
and, but for certain consequences, would have despatched him with as
much indifference as he would have laid arsenic in the way of a bold
voracious rat, or killed a snake. As it was, he secretly caused him to
experience, on one or two occasions, the effects of his good-will
towards him. Yahoo had offered certain atrocious indignities to the
sweetheart of a strapping young farmer; whose furious complaints coming
to Mr. Gammon's ears, that gentleman, under a pledge of secrecy, gave
him two guineas to be on the look-out for Yahoo, and give him the best
taste he could of a pair of Yorkshire fists. A day or two afterwards,
the Satyr fell in with his unsuspected enemy. Yahoo was a strongly-built
man, and an excellent bruiser; but was at first disposed to shirk the
fight, on glancing at the prodigious proportions of Hazel, and the fury
flaming in his eyes. The instant, however, that he saw the fighting
attitude into which poor Hazel had thrown himself, Yahoo smiled,
stripped, and set to. I am sorry to say that it was a good while before
Hazel could get one single blow at his accomplished opponent; whom,
however, he at length began to wear out. Then he gave the Yahoo a
miserable pommelling, to be sure; and finished by knocking out five of
his front teeth, viz. three in the upper, and two in the under
jaw--beautifully white and regular they certainly had been; and the loss
of them caused him great affliction on the score of his appearance, and
also, not a little interfered with the process of cigar-smoking. It
would, besides, have debarred him, had he been so disposed, from
enlisting as a soldier, inasmuch as he could not bite off the end of his
cartridge: wherefore, it would seem, that Hazel had committed the
offence of _Mayhem_.[17] Mr. Gammon condoled heartily with Mr. Yahoo, on
hearing of the brutal attack which had been made upon him; and as the
assault had not been committed in the presence of a witness, strongly
recommended him to bring an action of trespass _vi et armis_ against
Hazel, which Gammon undertook to conduct to--a nonsuit. While they were
conversing in this friendly way together, it suddenly occurred to Gammon
that there was another service which he could render to Mr. Yahoo, and
with equally strict observance of the injunction, _not to let his left
hand know what his right hand did_; for he loved the character of a
secret benefactor. So he wrote up a letter to Snap, (whom he knew to
have been treated very insolently by Yahoo,) desiring him to go to two
or three Jew bill-brokers and money-lenders, and ascertain whether they
had any paper by them with the name of "Yahoo" upon it:--and in the
event of such being discovered, he was to act in the manner pointed out
by Gammon. Off went Snap like a shot, on receiving this letter; and the
very first gentleman he applied to, viz. a Mr. SUCK'EM DRY, proved to be
possessed of an acceptance of Yahoo's for £200, for which Dry had given
only twenty-five pounds, on speculation. He readily yielded to Snap's
offer, to give him a shy at Mr. Yahoo _gratis_--and put the document
into the hands of Snap; who forthwith delivered it, confidentially, to
Swinddle Shark, gent., one &c., a little Jew attorney in Chancery Lane,
into whose office the dirty work of Quirk, Gammon, and Snap was
swept--in cases where they did not choose to appear. I wish the
mutilated Yahoo could have seen the mouthful of glittering teeth that
were displayed by the hungry Jew, on receiving the above commission. His
duties, though of a painful, were of a brief and simple description.
'Twas a plain case of _Indorsee_ v. _Acceptor_. The affidavit of debt
was sworn the same afternoon; and within an hour's time afterwards, a
thin slip of paper was delivered into the hands of the under-sheriff of
Yorkshire, commanding him to take the body[18] of Pimp Yahoo, if he
should be found in his bailiwick, and him safely keep--out of harm's
way--to enable him to pay £200 _debt_ to Suck'em Dry, and £24, 6s. 10d.
_costs_ to Swindle Shark. Down went that little "infernal machine" to
Yorkshire by that night's post.
Nothing could exceed the astonishment and concern with which Mr. Gammon,
the evening but one afterwards, on returning to the Hall from a ride to
Grilston, heard Titmouse and Fitz-Snooks--deserted beings!--tell him
how, an hour before, two big vulgar fellows, one of them with a long
slip of paper in his hands, had called at the Hall, asked for the
innocent unsuspecting Yahoo, just as he had made an admirable
_coup_--and insisted on his accompanying them to the house of one of the
aforesaid bailiffs, and then on to York Castle. They had brought a
tax-cart with them for his convenience; and into it, between his two new
friends, was forced to get the astounded Yahoo--smoking, as well as he
could, a cigar, with some score or two of which he had filled all his
pockets, and swearing oaths enough to have lasted the whole neighborhood
for a fortnight at least. Mr. Gammon was quite shocked at the indignity
which had been perpetrated, and asked why the villains had not been kept
till he could have been sent for. Then, leaving the melancholy Titmouse
and Fitz-Snooks to themselves for a little while, he took a solitary
walk in the elm avenue, where--grief has different modes of expressing
itself--he relieved his excited feelings by reiterated little bursts of
gentle laughter. As soon as the _York True Blue_ had, among other
intimations of fashionable movements, informed the public that "_The
Hon._ Pimp Yahoo" had quitted Yatton Hall for York Castle, where he
intended to remain and receive a large party of friends--it was
gratifying to see how soon, and in what force, they began to muster and
rally round him. "_Detainers_"[19]--so that species of visiting cards is
called--came fluttering in like snow; and in short, there was no end of
the messages of civility and congratulation which he received from those
whom, in the season of his prosperity, he had obliged with his valuable
countenance and custom.
Ah me, poor Yahoo, completely done! Oft is it, in this infernal world of
ours, that the best concerted schemes are thus suddenly defeated by the
envious and capricious fates! Thus were thy arms suddenly held back from
behind, just as they were encircling as pretty, plump a pigeon as ever
nestled in them with pert and playful confidence, to be plucked! Alas,
alas! And didst thou behold the danger to which it was exposed, as it
fluttered upward unconsciously into the region where thine affectionate
eye detected the keen hawk in deadly poise? Ah me! Oh dear! What shall I
do? What can I say? How vent my grief for the Prematurely Caged?
Poor Titmouse was very dull for some little time after this sudden
abduction of this bold and brilliant spirit, and spoke of bringing an
action, at the suggestion of Fitz-Snooks, against the miscreant who had
dared to set the law in motion at Yatton, under the very nose of its
lord and master. As soon, however, as Gammon intimated to him that all
those who had lent Yahoo money, might now rely upon that gentleman's
honor, and whistle back their cash at their leisure, Titmouse burst out
into a great rage; telling Gammon that he, Titmouse, had only a day or
two before lent Yahoo £150!! and that he was a "cursed scamp," who had
known, when he borrowed, that he could not repay; and a Detainer, at the
suit of "Tittlebat Titmouse, Esq.," was one of the very earliest that
found its way into the sheriff's office; this new creditor becoming one
of the very bitterest and most relentless against the fallen Yahoo,
except, perhaps, Mr. Fitz-Snooks. That gentleman having lent the amiable
Yahoo no less a sum than thirteen hundred pounds, remained easy all the
while, under the impression that certain precious documents called
"I.O.U.'s" of the said Yahoo were as good as cash. He was horribly
dismayed on discovering that it was otherwise; that _he_ was not to be
paid before all other creditors, and immediately; so he also sent a very
special message in the shape of a Detainer, backed by a great number of
curses.
In process of time Mr. Yahoo bethought himself of getting
"_white-washed_;" but when he came to be inspected, it was considered
that he was not properly _seasoned_; so the operation was delayed for
two years, under a very arbitrary statute, which enacted, "that if it
should appear that the said prisoner had contracted any of his debts
_fraudulently_, or by means of _false pretences_, or _without having had
any reasonable or probable expectation, at the time when contracted, of
paying the same_," &c. &c. &c., "or should be indebted for damages
recovered in any _action for criminal conversation_, or _seduction_, or
for _malicious injuries_, &c. &c., such prisoner should be discharged as
to such debts and damages, so soon only as he should have been in
custody at the suit of such creditors for a period or periods not
exceeding two years." Such is the odious restraint upon the liberty of
the subject, which at this day, in the nineteenth century, is suffered
to disgrace the statute law of England; for, in order to put _other
Yahoos_ upon their guard against the cruel and iniquitous designs upon
them, I here inform them that the laws under which Mr. Yahoo suffered
his two years' incarceration, (every one of his debts, &c., coming under
one or other of the descriptions above mentioned,) are, _proh pudor_!
re-enacted and at this moment in force, and in augmented stringency,[20]
as several most respectable gentlemen, if you could only get access to
them, would tell you.
Yahoo having been thus adroitly disposed of, Mr. Gammon had the
gratification of finding that mischievous simpleton, Fitz-Snooks, very
soon afterwards take his departure. He pined for the pleasures of the
town, which he had money enough to enjoy for about three years longer,
with economy; after which he might go abroad, or to _the dogs_--wherever
they were to be found. 'Twas indeed monstrous dull at Yatton; the game
which Yahoo had given him a taste for was so very _strictly preserved_
there! and the birds so uncommon shy and wild, and strong on the wing!
Besides, Gammon's presence was a terrible pressure upon him; overawing
and benumbing him, in spite of several attempts which he had made, when
charged with the requisite quantity of wine, to exhibit an impertinent
familiarity, or even defiance. As soon as poor Titmouse had bade
Fitz-Snooks good-by, shaken hands with him, and lost sight of
him--Titmouse was at Yatton, _alone with Gammon_, and felt as if a spell
were upon him.--He was completely cowed and prostrate. Yet Gammon laid
himself out to the very uttermost, to please him, and reassure his
drooping spirits. Titmouse had got into his head that the mysterious and
dreadful Gammon had, in some deep way or other, been at the bottom of
Yahoo's abduction, and of the disappearance of Fitz-Snooks, and would,
by-and-by, do as much for _him_! He had no feeling of _ownership_ of
Yatton; but of being, as it were, only tenant-at-will thereof to Mr.
Gammon. Whenever he tried to reassure himself, by repeating that it did
not signify--for Yatton was his own--and he might do as he liked; his
feelings might be compared to a balloon, which, with the eyes of eager
and anxious thousands upon it, yet cannot get inflated sufficiently to
rise one inch from the ground. How was it? Mr. Gammon's manner towards
him was most uncommonly respectful; what else could he wish for? Yet he
would have given a thousand pounds to that gentleman to take himself
off, and never show his nose again at Yatton! It annoyed him, too, more
than he could express, to perceive the deference and respect which every
one at the Hall manifested towards Mr. Gammon. Titmouse would sometimes
stamp his foot, when alone, with childish fury on the ground, when he
thought of it. When at dinner, and sitting together afterwards, Gammon
would rack his invention for jokes and anecdotes to amuse Titmouse--who
would certainly give a kind of laugh; exclaim, "Bravo! Ha, ha! 'Pon my
life!--capital!--By Jove! Most uncommon good! you don't say so?"--and go
on, drinking glass after glass of wine, or brandy and water, and smoking
cigar after cigar, till he felt fuddled and sick, in which condition he
would retire to bed, and leave Gammon, clear and serene in head and
temper, to his meditations. When, at length, he broached the subject of
_their bill_--a frightful amount it was; of the moneys advanced by Mr.
Quirk, for his support for eight or nine months on a liberal scale, and
which mounted up to a sum infinitely larger than could have been
supposed; and lastly, of the bond for ten thousand pounds, as the just
reward to the firm for their long-continued, most anxious, and
successful exertions on their client's behalf--Titmouse mustered up all
his resolution, as for a last desperate struggle; swore they were
robbing him; and added, with a furious snap of the fingers, "they had
better take the estate themselves--allow him a pound a-week, and send
him back to Tag-rag's." Then he burst into tears, and cried like a
child, long and bitterly.
"Well, sir," said Gammon, after remaining silent for some time, looking
at Titmouse calmly, but with an expression of face which frightened him
out of his wits, "if this is to be really the way in which I am to be
treated by you--I, the only _real disinterested_ friend you have in the
world, (as you have had hundreds of opportunities of ascertaining;) if
my advice is to be spurned, and my motives suspected; if your first and
deliberate engagements to our firm are to be wantonly broken"----
"Ah, but, 'pon my soul, I was humbugged into making them," said
Titmouse, passionately.
"Why, you little miscreant!" exclaimed Gammon, starting up in his chair,
and gazing at him as if he would have scorched him with his eye, "Do you
DARE to say so? If you have no gratitude--have you lost your _memory_?
What were you when I dug you out of your filthy hole at Closet Court?
Did you not repeatedly go down on your knees to us? Did you not promise,
a thousand times, to do infinitely more than you are now called upon to
do? And is this, you insolent--despicable little insect!--is _this_ the
return you make us for putting you, a beggar--and very nearly too, an
idiot"----
"You're most uncommon polite," said Titmouse, suddenly and bitterly.
"Silence, sir! I am in no humor for trifling!" interrupted Gammon,
sternly. "I say, is _this_ the return you think of making us; not only
to insult us, but refuse to pay money actually advanced by us to save
you from starvation--money, and days and nights, and weeks and months,
and _many_ months of intense anxiety, expended in discovering how to put
you in possession of a splendid fortune?--Poh! you miserable little
trifler!--why should I trouble myself thus? Remember--remember,
Tittlebat Titmouse," continued Gammon, in a low tone, and extending
towards him threateningly his thin forefinger, "I who made you, will in
one day--one single day--unmake you--will blow you away like a bit of
froth; you shall never be seen, or heard of, or thought of, except by
some small draper whose unhappy shopman you may be!"
"Ah!--'pon my life! Dare say you think I'm uncommon frightened! Ah, ha!
Monstrous--particular good!" said Titmouse, desperately.
Gammon perceived that he trembled in every limb; and the smile which he
tried to throw into his face was so wretched, that, had you seen him at
that moment, and considered his position, much and justly as you now
despise him, you must have pitied him. "You're always now going on in
this way!--It's all so very likely!" continued he. "Why, 'pon my soul,
am not I to be A LORD one of these days? Can you help that? Can you send
a lord behind a draper's counter? 'Pon my soul, what do you say to that?
I like that, uncommon"----
"What do I say?" replied Gammon, calmly, "why, that I've a great mind to
say and do something that would make you--would dispose you to--jump
head foremost into the first sewer you came near!"
Titmouse's heart was lying fluttering at his throat.
"Tittlebat, Tittlebat!" continued Gammon, dropping his voice, and
speaking in a very kind and earnest manner, "if you did but know the
extent to which an accident has placed you in my power! at this moment
in my power! Really I almost tremble, myself, to think of it!" He rose,
brought his chamber-candlestick out of the hall--lit it--bade Titmouse
good-night, sadly but sternly--and shook him by the hand--"I may rid you
of my presence to-morrow morning, Mr. Titmouse. I shall leave you to
_try to enjoy Yatton_! May you find a _truer_--a more powerful friend
than you will have lost in me!" Titmouse never shrank more helplessly
under the eye of Mr. Gammon than he did at that moment.
"You--you--_won't_ stop and smoke another cigar with a poor devil, will
you, Mr. Gammon?" he inquired faintly. "It's somehow--most uncommon
lonely in this queer, large, old-fashioned"----
"No, sir," replied Gammon, peremptorily--and withdrew, leaving Titmouse
in a state of mingled alarm and anger--the former, however,
predominating.
"By jingo!" he at length exclaimed with a heavy sigh, after a revery of
about three minutes, gulping down the remainder of his brandy and water,
"If that same gent, Mr. Gammon, a'n't the--the--devil--he's the very
best imitation of him that ever I heard tell of!" Here he glanced
furtively round the room; then he got a little flustered; rang his bell
quickly for his valet, and, followed by him, retired to his
dressing-room.
The next morning the storm had entirely blown over. When they met at
breakfast, Titmouse, as Gammon had known would be the case, was all
submission and respect; in fact, it was evident that he was thoroughly
frightened by what had fallen from Gammon, but infinitely more so by the
_manner_ in which he had spoken over-night. Gammon, however, preserved
for some little time the haughty air with which he had met Titmouse; but
a few words of the latter, expressing deep regret for what he had said
through having drunk too much--poor little soul!--over-night, and his
unqualifyingly submitting to every one of the requisitions which had
been insisted on by Mr. Gammon--quickly dispersed the cloud settled on
that gentleman's brow, when he entered the breakfast-room.
"_Now_, my dear Mr. Titmouse," said he, very graciously, "you show
yourself the gentleman I always took you for--and I forget, forever,
all that passed between us, so unpleasantly, last night. I am sure it
will never be so again: for now we _entirely_ understand each other?"
"Oh yes--'pon my life--quite entirely!" replied Titmouse, meekly, with a
crestfallen air.
Soon after breakfast they adjourned, at Gammon's request, to the
billiard-room; where, though that gentleman knew how to handle a cue,
and Titmouse did not, he expressed great admiration for Titmouse's play,
and felt great interest in being shown by him how to get a ball, now and
then, into each pocket at one stroke, a masterly manœuvre in which
Titmouse succeeded two or three times, and Gammon not once, during their
hour's play. Upon that occasion had occurred the conversation in which
Titmouse made the suggestion we have already heard of, viz. that Gammon
should immediately clap the screw upon Aubrey, with a view to squeezing
out of him at least sufficient to pay the £10,000 bond, and their bill
of costs, immediately; and Titmouse urged Gammon at once to send Aubrey
packing after Yahoo to York Castle, as an inducement to an early
settlement of the remainder. Gammon, however, assured Mr. Titmouse, that
in all probability Mr. Aubrey had not a couple of thousand pounds in the
world.
"Well, that will do to begin with," said Titmouse, "and the rest _must_
come, sooner or later--eh, by Jove?"
"Leave him to me, my dear Titmouse, or rather to Mr. Quirk--who'll
_wring_ him before he's done with him, I warrant you! But, in the mean
while, if I work day and night, I will relieve you from this claim of
Mr. Quirk: for, in fact, I have little or no _real_ interest in the
matter."
"You'll take a slapping slice out of the bond, eh? Aha, Mr. Gammon!--But
what were you saying you'd do for me?"
"I repeat, that I am your only disinterested friend, Mr. Titmouse; I
shall never see a hundred pounds of what is going into Mr. Quirk's
hands; who, I must say, however," added Gammon, with sudden caution,
"has richly earned what he's going to get--but--to say the truth, by
following my directions throughout. I was saying, however, that I had
hit upon a scheme for ridding you of your difficulties. Though you have
only just stepped into your property, and consequently people are very
shy of advancing money on mortgage, if you'll only keep quiet, and leave
the affair entirely to me, I will undertake to get you a sum of possibly
twenty thousand pounds."
"My eyes!" exclaimed Titmouse, excitedly; quickly, however, adding with
a sad air--"but then, what a lot of it will go to old Quirk?"
"He _is_ rather a keen and hard--ahem! I own; but"----
"'Pon my life, couldn't we _do_ the old gent?"
"On no consideration, Mr. Titmouse; it would be a fatal step for
you--and indeed for me."
"What! and can _he_ do anything, too? I thought it was only you."--The
little fool had brought a glimpse of color into Gammon's cheek--but
Titmouse's volatility quickly relieved his tripping Prospero. "By the
way--'pon my life--sha'n't I have to pay it all back again! There's a
go! I hadn't thought of that."
"I shall first try to get it out of Mr. Aubrey," said Gammon, "and then
out of another friend of yours. In the mean while we must not drop the
Tag-rags just yet." They then got into a long and confidential
conversation together; in the course of which, Titmouse happened to pop
out a little secret of his, which till then he had managed to keep from
Gammon, and which occasioned that gentleman a great and sudden inward
confusion--one which it was odd that so keen an observer as Titmouse
did not perceive indications of in the countenance of Gammon; viz.
his--Titmouse's--fervent and disinterested love for Miss Aubrey. While
he was rattling on with eager volubility upon this topic, Gammon, after
casting about a little in his mind, as to how he should deal with this
interesting discovery, resolved for the present to humor the notion, and
got out of Titmouse a full and particular account of his original
"_smite_," as that gentleman called his passion for Miss Aubrey--the
indelible impression she had made on his heart--the letter which he had
addressed to her--[here Gammon's vivid fancy portrayed to him the sort
of composition which must have reached Miss Aubrey, and he nearly burst
into a gentle fit of laughter]--and, with a strange candor, or rather,
to do him justice, with that frank simplicity which is characteristic of
noble natures--he at length described his unlucky encounter with Miss
Aubrey and her maid, in the winter; whereat Gammon felt a sort of sudden
inward spasm, which excited a certain twinging sensation in his right
toe--but it passed away--'twas after all, only a little juvenile
indiscretion of Titmouse's; but Gammon, with rather a serious air,
assured Titmouse that he had probably greatly endangered his prospect
with Miss Aubrey.
"Eh? Why, devil take it! a'n't I going to offer to her, though she's got
nothing?" interrupted Titmouse, with astonishment.
"True!--Ah, I had lost sight of that. Well, if you will pledge yourself
to address no more letters to her, nor take any steps to see her,
without first communicating with me--I think I can promise--hem!" he
looked archly at Titmouse.
"She's a most _uncommon_ lovely gal"--he simpered sheepishly. The fact
was that Gammon had conceived quite another scheme for Titmouse--wholly
inconsistent with his pure, ardent, and enlightened attachment to Miss
Aubrey; 'twas undoubtedly rather a bold and ambitious one, but Gammon
did not despair; for he had that confidence in himself, and in his
knowledge of human nature, which always supported him in the most
arduous and apparently hopeless undertakings.
There was a visible alteration for the better in the state of things at
Yatton, as soon as Messrs. Yahoo and Fitz-Snooks had been disposed of.
Now and then a few of the distinguished people who had honored Mr.
Titmouse by going out in procession to meet and welcome him, were
invited to spend a day at Yatton; and generally quitted full of
admiration of the dinner and wines, the unaffected good-nature and
simplicity of their hospitable host, and the bland, composed, and
intellectual deportment and conversation of Mr. Gammon. When rent-day
arrived, Mr. Titmouse, attended by Mr. Gammon, made his appearance in
the steward's room, and also in the hall; where, according to former
custom, good substantial fare was set out for the tenants. They received
him with a due respect of manner; but--alas--where was the cheerfulness,
the cordiality, the rough, honest heartiness of days gone by, on such
occasions? Few of the tenants stayed to partake of the good things
prepared for them; a circumstance which greatly affected Mr. Griffiths,
and piqued Mr. Gammon; as for Titmouse, however, he said, with a laugh,
"Curse 'em! let 'em leave it alone, if they a'n't hungry!" and any faint
feeling of mortification which he might have experienced, was dissipated
by the intelligence of the amount paid into his banker's. Gammon was
sensible that the scenes which had been exhibited at Yatton on the first
night of his protégé's arrival, had seriously injured him in the
neighborhood and county, and was bent upon effacing, as quickly as
possible, such unfavorable impressions, by prevailing on Titmouse to
"purge and live cleanly"--at all events for the present.
Let me pause now, for a moment, to inquire, ought not this favored young
man to have felt happy? Here he was, master of a fine estate, producing
him a splendid unencumbered rent-roll; a delightful residence,
suggesting innumerable dear and dignified associations connected with
old English feeling; a luxurious table, with the choicest liqueurs and
wines, in abundance: he might smoke the finest cigars that the world
could produce, from morning to night, if so disposed; had unlimited
facilities for securing a distinguished personal appearance, as far as
dress and decoration went; had all the amusements of the county at his
command; troops of servants, eager and obsequious in their attentions;
horses and carriages of every description which he might have chosen to
order out--had, in short, all the "appliances and means to boot," which
could be desired or imagined by a gentleman of his station and
affluence. Mr. Gammon was, though somewhat stern and plain-spoken, still
a most sincere and powerful friend, deeply and disinterestedly
solicitous about his interests, and protecting him from villanous and
designing adventurers; then he had in prospect the brilliant mazes of
fashionable life in town--oh, in the name of everything that this world
can produce, and of the feelings it should excite, ought not Titmouse to
have enjoyed life--to have been happy? Yet he was not; he felt, quite
independently of any constraint occasioned by the presence of Mr.
Gammon, full of deplorable and inexpressible wearisomeness, which
nothing could alleviate, but the constant use of cigars, and brandy and
water. On the first Sunday after the departure of Fitz-Snooks, Titmouse
was prevailed upon to accompany the devout and exemplary Gammon to
church; where, barring a good many ill-concealed yawns and constant
fidgetiness, he conducted himself with tolerable decorum. Yet still the
style of his dress, his air, and his countenance, filled the little
congregation with feelings of great astonishment, when they thought that
_that_ was the new Squire of Yatton, and for a moment contrasted him
with his simple and dignified predecessor, Mr. Aubrey. As for the worthy
vicar, Dr. Tatham, Gammon resolved to secure his good graces, and
succeeded. He called upon the worthy vicar soon after having heard from
Titmouse, of his, Yahoo's, and Fitz-Snooks' encounter with Dr. Tatham;
and expressed profound concern on being apprised of the rude
treatment which he had encountered. There was a gentleness and
affability--tempering at once and enhancing his evident acuteness and
knowledge of the world--which quite captivated the little doctor. But,
above all, the expressions of delicate sympathy and regret with which he
now and then alluded to the late occupants of Yatton, and towards whom
the stern requisitions of professional duty had caused him to play so
odious a part, and his minute inquiries about them, drew out almost all
that was in the little doctor's heart concerning his departed friends.
Gammon gazed with deep interest at the old blind stag-hound, and feeble
old Peggy; and seemed never tired of hearing the doctor's little
anecdotes concerning them. He introduced Titmouse to the vicar; and, in
his presence, Gammon declared his (Titmouse's) hatred and contempt for
the two fellows who were with him when first he saw Dr. Tatham; who
thereupon banished from his heart all recollection of the conduct which
had so deeply hurt his feelings. Gammon, on another occasion, infinitely
delighted the doctor by calling on a Monday morning, and alluding with
evident interest and anxiety to certain passages in his sermon of the
day before, and which led to a very lengthened and interesting
discussion. In consequence of what then transpired, the doctor suddenly
bethought himself of routing out an old sermon, which he had once
preached before the judges of assize:--and during the week he touched it
up with a good deal of care for the ensuing Sunday--when he had the
satisfaction of observing the marked and undeviating attention with
which Mr. Gammon sat listening to him; and that candid inquirer after
truth afterwards stepped into the little vestry and warmly complimented
the doctor upon his very satisfactory and masterly discourse. Thus it
was that Dr. Tatham came to pen a postscript to one of his letters to
Mrs. Aubrey, to which I have formerly alluded, and of which said
postscript the following is a copy:----
"P. S. By the way, the altered state of things at the Hall, I am of
opinion, is entirely owing to the presence and the influence of a
Mr. Gammon--one of the chief of Mr. Titmouse's solicitors, and to
whom he seems very firmly attached. I have lived too long in the
world to form hasty opinions, and am not apt to be deceived in my
estimate of mankind; but I must say, I consider Mr. Gammon to be a
very superior man, as well in character and intellect, as in
acquirements. He possesses great acuteness and knowledge of the
world, general information, a very calm and courteous address--and
above and beyond all, is a man of very enlightened religious
feeling. He comes constantly to church, and presents a truly
edifying example to all around, of decorum and attention. You would
be delighted to hear the discussions we have had on points which my
sermons have suggested to him. He is really an uncommonly acute
man, and I assure you it requires some little logical skill to
contend with him in argument. I preached a sermon lately, specially
aimed at him, which, thank God! I have every reason to believe has
been attended with happy effects, and allayed some startling doubts
which had been for years tormenting him. I am sure that my dear
friend" (_i. e._ Mr. Aubrey) "would be delighted with him. I had
myself, I assure you, to overcome a very strong prejudice against
him--a thing I always love to attempt, and have in a measure, in
the present instance, succeeded. He speaks of you all frequently,
with evident caution, but at the same time with the deepest respect
and sympathy."
This postscript it was, which, as I have already intimated, suggested to
Mr. Aubrey to seek the interview with Gammon which has been described,
and during which it was frequently present to his mind.
While, however, under the pressure of Mr. Gammon's benumbing presence
and authority, Titmouse was for a brief while leading this sober retired
life at Yatton--why, he hardly knew, except that Gammon willed it--a
circumstance occurred which suddenly placed him on the very highest
pinnacle of popularity in metropolitan society. I hardly know how to
suppress my feelings of exultation, in retracing the rapid steps by
which Mr. Titmouse was transformed into a LION of the first magnitude.
Be it known that there was a MR. BLADDERY PIP, a fashionable novelist,
possessed of most extraordinary versatility and power; for he had at the
end of every nine months, during the last nine years, produced a novel
in three volumes--each succeeding one eclipsing the splendor of its
predecessor, (in the judgment of the accomplished and disinterested
newspaper critics)--in the "masterly structure of the plot"--the "vivid
and varied delineation of character"--the "profound acquaintance with
the workings of the human heart"--"exquisite appreciation of life in all
its endless varieties"--"piercing but delicate satire"--"bold and
powerful denunciations of popular vices"--"rich and tender domestic
scenes"--"inimitable ease and grace"--"consummate tact and
judgment"--"reflection coextensive with observation"--"the style
flowing, brilliant, nervous, varied, picturesque," _et cetera_, _et
cetera_, _et cetera_. We have, in the present day, thank Heaven! at
least two or three hundred such writers; but at the time about which I
am speaking, Mr. Bladdery Pip was pretty nearly alone in his glory.
Such was the man, to whose trading brain it suddenly occurred, on
glancing over the newspaper report of the trial of _Doe on the Demise of
Titmouse_ v. _Jolter_, to make the interesting facts of the case the
basis of a new novel, on quite a new plan, and which was infinitely to
transcend all his former works, and, in fact, occasion quite a
revolution in that brilliant and instructive species of literature! To
work went Mr. Pip, within a day or two after the trial was over, and in
an incredibly short space of time had got to the close of his labors.
Practice had made him perfect, and given him infinite facility in the
production of first-rate writing. The spirited publisher (Mr. Bubble)
then quickly set to work to "get the steam up"--but ah! how secretly and
skilfully! For some time there appeared numerous intimations in the
daily papers, that "the circles of ton" were "on the _qui vive_" in
expectation of a certain forthcoming work, &c. &c. &c.--that
"disclosures of a very extraordinary character" were being looked
for--"attempts had been made to suppress," &c. &c.--"compromising
certain distinguished," &c., and so forth; all these paragraphs being in
the unquestionable [!] _editorial_ style, and _genuine_ [!] indications
of a mysterious under-current of curiosity and excitement, existing in
those regions which were watched with reverential awe and constancy by
the occupants of the lower regions. As time advanced, more frequent
became these titillations of the public palate--more distinct these
intimations of what was going forward, and might be shortly expected,
from the appearance of the long-promised work. Take for instance the
following, which ran the round of every newspaper, and wrought up to a
high pitch the curiosity of three-fourths of the fools in the country:--
"The efforts made to deprive the public of the interesting and
peculiar scenes contained in the forthcoming novel, and--in
short--to suppress it, have entirely failed, owing to the
resolution of the gifted author, and the determination of the
spirited publisher; and their only effect has been to accelerate
the appearance of the work. It will bear the exciting and _piquant_
title--'TIPPETIWINK;' and is said to be founded on the remarkable
circumstances attending the recent trial of a great ejectment cause
at York. More than one noble family's history is believed to be
involved in some of the details which will be found in the
forthcoming publication, for which, we are assured, there are
already symptoms of an unprecedented demand. The 'favored few' who
have seen it, predict that it will produce a prodigious sensation.
The _happy audacity_ with which facts are adhered to, will, we
trust, not lead to the disagreeable consequences that appear to be
looked for, in certain quarters, with no little anxiety and dismay.
When we announce that its author is the gifted writer of 'THE
SILVER SPOONS'--'SPINNACH'--'THE
PIROUETTE'--'TITTLE-TATTLE'--'FITZ-GIBLETS'--'SQUINT,' &c. &c. &c.,
we trust we are violating no literary confidence."
There was no resisting this sort of thing. In that day, a skilfully
directed play of puffs laid prostrate the whole of the sagacious
fashionable world; _producing_ the excitement of which they affected to
chronicle the existence. The artilleryman, in the present instance, was,
in fact, a hack writer, hired by Mr. Bubble--in fact, kept by him
entirely--to perform services of this degrading description--and he sat
from morning to night in a back-room on Mr. Bubble's premises, engaged
in spinning out these villanous and lying paragraphs concerning every
work published, or about to be published, by Mr. Bubble. Then that
gentleman hit upon another admirable device. He had seven hundred copies
printed off; and allowing a hundred for a _first_ edition, he varied the
title-pages of each of the remaining six hundred by the words: "_Second_
Edition"--"_Third_ Edition"--"_Fourth_ Edition"--"_Fifth_
Edition"--"_Sixth_ Edition"--and "_Seventh_ Edition."
By the time, however, that the fourth edition had been announced, there
existed a real rage for the book. The circulating libraries at the West
End of the town were besieged by applicants for a perusal of the work;
and "notices," "reviews," and "extracts," began to make their appearance
with increasing frequency in the newspapers. The idea of the work was
admirable. _Tippetiwink_, the hero, was a young gentleman of ancient
family--an only child--kidnapped away in his infancy by the malignant
agency of "the demon _Mowbray_," a distant relative, of a fierce temper
and wicked character, who by these means had succeeded to the enjoyment
of the estate, and would have come, in time, to the honors and domains
of the most ancient and noble family in the kingdom, that of the _Earl
of Frizzleton_. Poor Tippetiwink was at length, however, discovered by
his illustrious kinsman, by mere accident, in an obscure capacity, in
the employ of a benevolent linen-draper, _Black-bag_, who was described
as one of the most amiable and generous of linen-drapers; and, after a
series of wonderful adventures, in which the hero displayed the most
heroic constancy, the earl succeeded in reinstating his oppressed and
injured kinsman in the lofty station which he ought always to have
occupied. His daughter--a paragon of female loveliness--the _Lady
Sapphira Sigh-away_--evinced the deepest interest in the success of
_Tippetiwink_; and at length--the happy result may be guessed by the
astute and experienced novel-reader. Out of these few and natural
incidents, Mr. Bladdery Pip was pronounced at length, by those (_i. e._
the aforesaid newspaper scribes) who govern, if they do not indeed
constitute, PUBLIC OPINION, to have produced an imperishable record of
his genius; avoiding all the faults, and combining all the excellences,
of all his former productions. The identity between Titmouse and
_Tippetiwink_, Lord Dreddlington and _Lord Frizzleton_, Lady Cecilia and
_Lady Sapphira_, and Mr. Aubrey and the "_demon Mowbray_," was quickly
established. The novel passed speedily into the _tenth edition_! An
undoubted, and a very great sensation was produced; extracts descriptive
of the persons, particularly that of Titmouse, and the earl, and Lady
Cecilia, figuring in the story, were given in the London papers, and
thence transferred into those all over the country. The very author of
the book, Mr. Bladdery Pip, became a prodigious LION, and dressing
himself in the most elaborate and exquisite style, had his portrait,
looking most intensely intellectual, prefixed to the tenth edition. Then
came portraits of "Tittlebat Titmouse, Esq.," (for which he had never
sat,) giving him large melting eyes, a very pensive face, and a most
fashionable appearance. The Earl of Dreddlington and Lady Cecilia became
also a lion and lioness. Hundreds of opera-glasses were directed, at
once, to their opera-box; innumerable were the anxious salutations they
received as they drove round the Park--and round it they went three or
four times as often as they had ever done before. 'Twas whispered that
the king had read the book, and drank the earl's health, under the name
of Lord Frizzleton--while the queen did the same for Lady Cecilia as
Lady Sapphira. Their appearance produced a manifest sensation at both
the levee and drawing-room.--Majesty looked blander than usual as they
approached. Poor Lord Dreddlington, and Lady Cecilia, mounted in a trice
into the seventh heaven of rapturous excitement; for there was that
buoyant quality about their heads which secured them a graceful and
rapid upward motion. They were both unutterably _happy_; living in a
gentle delicious tumult of exalted feeling. Irrepressible exultation
glistened in the earl's eyes; he threw an infinite deal of blandness and
courtesy into his manners wherever he was, and whomsoever he addressed;
as if he could now easily afford it, confident in the inaccessible
sublimity of his position. It was slightly laughable to observe,
however, the desperate efforts he made to maintain his former frigid
composure of manner--but in vain; his nervousness looked almost like a
sudden, though gentle accession of St. Vitus's dance. Innumerable were
the inquiries after Titmouse--his person--his manners--his
character--his dress, made of Lady Cecilia by her friends. Young ladies
tormented her for his autograph. 'T was with her as if the level surface
of the Dead Sea had been stirred by the freshening breeze.
When a thing of this sort is once fairly set going, where is it to end?
When fashion does go mad, her madness is wonderful; and she very soon
turns the world mad. Presently the young men appeared everywhere in
black satin stocks, embroidered, some with flowers, and others with
gold, and which went by the name of "_Titmouse-Ties_;" and in hats, with
high crowns and rims a quarter of an inch in depth, called
"_Tittlebats_." All the young blades about town, especially the clerks
and shopmen in the city, dressed themselves in the most extravagant
style; an amazing impetus was given to the cigar trade--whose shops were
crowded, especially at nights; and every puppy that walked the streets
puffed cigar-smoke in your eyes. In short, pert and lively _Titmice_
might be seen hopping about the streets in all directions. As for
Tag-rag, wonders befell him. A paragraph in a paper pointed him out as
the original of _Black-bag_, and his shop in Oxford Street as the scene
of Titmouse's service. Thither quickly poured the tide of fashionable
curiosity, and custom. His business was soon trebled. He wore his best
clothes every day, and smirked and smiled, and bustled about amid the
crowd in his shop, in a perfect fever of excitement. He began to think
of buying the adjoining premises, and adding them to his own; and set
his name down as a subscriber of a guinea a-year to the "Decayed
Drapers' Association." Those were glorious times for Mr. Tag-rag. He was
forced to engage a dozen extra hands; there were seldom less than fifty
or a hundred persons in his shop at once; strings of carriages stood
before his door, sometimes two deep, and continual strugglings occurred
between the coachmen for precedence. In fact, Mr. Tag-rag believed that
the MILLENNIUM (about which he had often heard wonders from Mr. Dismal
Horror, who, it seemed, knew all about it--a fact of which he had first
persuaded his congregation, _and then himself_) was coming in earnest.