Fill us more Ale, me thinks thy lazie gate
Is slower than the Tortoise, make more speed,
An tha'st a Female of an easie rate
Lets see her, for my flesh doth tumults breed:
_Run on, thoul't wish when that day comes thou must
Give an account, that thou hadst been more just_.
[86.] A Country honest fellow upon the first coming out of the
Parliament coyne, taking it in his hand, and turning it backward and
forward; when he had read the circumscription of it, said, Here are
Crosses enough, I trow me, but how long they shall last I know not,
for I see here _the Commonwealth of England_, and _God with Us_ are
not of one side.
[93.] _George_ (_Peele_) on a time being happily furnished both of
horse and money, though the horse he hired, and the money he borrowed:
but no matter how he was possest of them, and towards Oxford he rides
to make merry with his friends and fellow students: and in his way
he tooke Wickham, where he sojourned that night: Being at supper
accompanied with his Hostis, among other table-talke, they fell into
discourse of Chirurgerie, of which my Hostis was a simple professor.
_George Peele_ observing the humour of my she Chirurgion, upheld
her in all the strange cures she talked of, and praised her womanly
endevour; telling her, he loved her so much the better, because it was
a thing that he professed, both Physicke and Chirurgirie; and _George_
had a Dictionary of Physicall words, that it might set a better glosse
upon that which he seemingly profest: and told his good Hostis, at his
returne he would teach her something that should doe her no hurt; for
(quoth he) at this instant I am going about a great Cure as farre as
Warwick-shire to a Gentleman of great living, and one that hath beene
in a Consumption this half yeare, and I hope to doe him good. O God
(quoth the Hostis) there is a Gentleman not a quarter of a Mile off,
that hath beene a long time sicke of the same disease: Beleeve
me, Sir, (quoth the Hostis) would it please your Worship e're your
departure in the morning, but to visit the Gentleman, and but spend
your opinion of him, and I make no question but the Gentlewoman will
bee very thankfull to you. I' faith (quoth _George_) happely at my
returne I may, but at this time my haste is such that I cannot: and
so good night, mine Hostis. So away went _George_ to bed; and my giddy
Hostis, right of the nature of most women, thought that night as long
as tenne, till shee was delivered of that burthen of newes which she
had received from my new Doctor: (for so hee termed himselfe).
Morning being come, at breake of the day, mine Hostis trudges to this
Gentlemans house, acquainteth his wife what an excellent man she had
at her house: protesting he was the best seene in Physicke, and had
done the most strangest cures that ever she heard of; saying that if
shee would but send for him, no question he would doe him good. The
Gentlewoman glad to heare of any thing that might procure the health
of her Husband, presently sent one of her men, to desire the Doctor
to come and visit her Husband. Which message when _George_ heard, hee
wondred; for hee had no more skill in Physicke than in Musicke, and
they were as distant both from him, as heaven from hell. But, to
conclude, _George_ set a bold face on it, and away he went to the
sicke Gentleman; where, when hee came, after some complement to
the Gentlewoman, hee was brought to the Chamber, where the ancient
Gentleman lay wonderfull sicke: for all Physicke had given him over:
George beginnes to feele his Pulses and his temples, saying, hee was
very farre spent; yet, quoth hee, under God I will doe him some good,
if Nature bee not quite extinct. Whereupon hee demanded whether they
had ever a Garden? That I have, quoth the Gentlewoman. I pray you
direct me thither, quoth _George_. Where, when hee came, hee cut a
handfull of every Flowre, Herbe and Blossome, or whatsoever else
in the Garden, and brought them in the lapid[F. 181] of his Cloake,
boyled them in Ale, strained them, boyled them againe, and when he
had all the juyce out of them, of which he made some pottle[F. 182] of
drinke, he caused the sicke Gentleman to drinke off a maudlin[F. 183]
Cup full, and willed his wife to give him of that same at morninge,
noone, and night: protesting, if any thing in this world did him good,
it must bee that: giving great charge to the Gentlewoman to keepe him
wonderfull warme: and at my returne, quoth _George_, some tenne dayes
hence, I will returne and see how hee fares: For, quoth he, by that
time something will be done; and so I will take my leave. Not so,
quoth the Gentlewoman, your Worshippe must needes stay and take a
simple dinner with mee to day. Indeede, quoth _George_, I cannot now
stay, my haste is such, I must presently to Horse. You may suppose
_George_ was in haste untill he was out of the Gentleman's house: for
hee knew not whether he had poysoned the Gentleman or not, which made
him so eager to bee gone out of the Gentleman's house. The Gentlewoman
seeing shee could by no meanes stay him, gave him two brace of Angels,
which never shined long in his purse, and desired him at his returne
to know her house: which _George_ promised, and with seeming nicenesse
took the gold, and towards Oxford went he, fortie shillings heavier
than he was, where hee bravely domineered while his Physicall money
lasted. But to see the strangenesse of this: Whether it was the vertue
of some herbe which hee gathered, or the conceit the Gentleman had of
_George Peele_, but it so pleased God the Gentleman recovered, and in
eight dayes walked abroad; and that fortunate potion which _George_
made at randome, did him more good than many pounds that he had spent
in halfe a yeere before in Physicke. _George_ his money being spent,
he made his returne towards London; and when he came within a mile
of the Gentlemans house, hee enquired of a Countrey fellow how such a
Gentleman did. The Fellow told him, God be praised, his good Landlord
was well recovered by a vertuous Gentleman that came this way by
chance. Art thou sure of it? quoth _George_. Yes, beleeve me, quoth
the fellow, I saw him in the Fields but this morning. This was no
simple newes to _George_. He presently set spurres to his Horse, and
whereas hee thought to shunne the Towne, hee went directly to his
Inne: at whose arrivall, the Hostis clapt her hands, the Oastler
laught, the Tapster leapt, the Chamberlaine ran to the Gentlemans
house, and told him the Doctor was come. How joyfull the Gentleman
was, let them imagine that have any after-healths. _George Peele_ was
sent for, and after a Million of thankes from the Gentleman and his
friends, _George Peele_ had 20 pounds delivered him: which money, how
long it was a spending, let the Tavernes in London witnesse.
[Footnote 181: Lappet.]
[Footnote 182: A measure of two quarts.]
[Footnote 183: Query, _middling_-sized.]
A Man of _Wales_ between _S^t David's_ day and _Easter_, [14.]
Was on's host score for cheese great store, a tester.
His host did chalk it up behind the doore,
And said, For cheese, good Sir, come pay your score.
I wonder then, quoth he, what meaneth these?
Dost think her Country knows not chalk from Cheese?