I's not come here to tauke of _Prute_, [83.]
From whence the _Welse_ does take her Root;
Nor tell long Pedigree of Prince _Camber_,
Whose Linage would fill full a Shamber;
Nor sing the Deeds of old Saint _Davy_,
The Ursip of which would fill a Navy;
But hark ye now for a liddel Tales
Sal make great deal to the Credit of _Wales_:
For hur will tudge your Ears,
With the Praise of hur Thirteen Seeres,
And make you as Clad and Merry,
As Fourteen Pot of Perry.
'Tis true was wear him _Shirkin Frieze_,
But what is that? we have store of Sheize;
And Got is plenty of Coates Milk,
That sell him well, will buy him silk
Enough to make him fine to Quarrel,
At _Hereford Sizes_ in new _Apparel_.
And get him as much Melmet perhap
Sall give it a Face to his _Monmouth Cap_.
But then the Ore of _Lemster_,
By Cot is Uver a Sempster;
That when he is Spun or Did
Yet match him with her Thrid.
[Illustration]
And this the Backs now, let us tell ye
Of some Provisions for the Belly;
As _Cid_ and _Gote_ and great _Gote's Mother_,
And _Runt_ and _Cow_ and great _Cow's Uther_:
And once but taste on the _Welse Mutton_,
Your _Engliss Seeps_ not worth a Button;
Then for your _Fisse_, shall shoose it your Dish,
Look but about, and there's a _Trout_,
A Salmon, Cor or Chevin,
Will feed you Six or Seven,
As taull Men as e'er Swagger
With _Welse Club_ and long _Dagger_.
But all this while was never think
A word in praise of our _Welse_ Drink;
Yet for aull that, is a Cup of _Bragat_,
Aull _England_ Seer may cast his Cap at;
And what you say to _Ale_ of _Webley_,
Toudge him as well, you'll praise him Trebley.
As well as _Metheglin_, or _Sider_, or _Meath_
Sall sake it your Dagger quite out o' the Seath.
And _Oate Cake_ of _Guarthenion_,
With a goodly Leek or Onion,
To give as sweet a rellis,
As e'er did Harper _Ellis_.
And yet is nothing now all this,
If of our Musicks we do miss;
With _Harp_ and _Pipes_ too and the _Croud_
Must aull come in and tauk aloud.
As loud as _Bangu_, _Davy's_ Bell,
Of which is no doubt you have hear tell,
As well as our louder _Wrexam_ Organ,
Or rumbling Rocks in the Seer of _Glamorgan_,
Where look you but in the Ground here,
And you sall see a Sound there,
That put her all togedder,
Is sweet as Measure Pedder.
[52.] In Barnet was a young woman, that when her husband lay a dying,
sorrowed out of measure, for feare that shee should lose him. Her
father came to her, desiring her to be contented: for he had provided
her another husband, a far more handsome man. But she did not onely
continue in her sorrow, but was also greatly displeased, that her
father made any motion to her of any other husband. As soone as her
other husband was buried and the Sermon was done, and they were at
supper, between sobbing and weeping, shee rounded her father in the
eare, and said, Father, where is the young man that you told me should
bee my husband? for very shortly I purpose to be maried. At which her
father suddenly fell a laughing.
[82.] A Gallant in his youth was much addicted to dicing, and many
times when he had lost all his money, then hee would pawne his cloake,
and so goe home without either cloak or coyne, which grieved the Lady
his Mother very much: for remedy whereof, she caused all his doublets
(of what stuffe so ever) to be made with canvasse painted backes,
whereon were fashioned two fooles, which caused the Gentleman ever
after to keepe his cloake on his backe, for feare two of the three
should be discovered.
I was took by a fly, [12.]
Says a Fish; but I deny
That, for had he not took the fly
At first in his mouth,
He had not, in truth,
Then have been tost up so high.
[52.] There was an unthrift in London, that had received of a Merchant
certain Wares, which came to fifty pounds, to pay at three moneths;
and at three moneths. But when he had it he consumed and spent it
all: so that at the six moneths end there was not any left to pay the
Merchant: Wherefore the Merchant arrested him. When he saw there was
no other remedy, but either to pay the debt, or go to prison, he sent
to a subtill Lawyer, and asked his Counsell how he might clear himself
of that debt. What wilt thou give me, (quoth he) if I do? Five marks
(quoth the other) and here it is: and as soon as you have done, you
shall have it. Well, said the Lawyer, but thou must be ruled by my
counsell, and do thus: When thou commest before the Judge, whatsoever
he saith unto thee, answer thou nothing, but cry Bea, still, and let
me alone with the rest. So when he came before the Judge, he said to
the Debter, Dost thou owe this Merchant so much money? Bea (quoth
he). What, beast? (quoth he) answer to that I aske thee. Bea (quoth he
again.) Why, how now? quoth the Judge, I think this fellow hath gotten
a sheeps tongue in his head: for he answereth in the sheeps language.
Why, Sir, quoth the Lawyer, do you think this Merchant that is so wise
a man, would be so foolish, as to trust this Ideot with fifty pounds
worth of ware, that can speak never a word? No, Sir, I warrant
you--And he persuaded the Judge to cast the Merchant in his own suit.
And so the Judge departed, and the Court brake up. Then the Lawyer
came to his Client, and asked him his Money, since his promise was
performed, and his debt discharged. Bea (quoth he.) Why, thou needs't
not cry Bea any longer, but pay me my money. Bea, (quoth he again).
Why thou wilt not serve me so, I hope, (quoth the Lawyer) now I have
used thee so kindly? But nothing but Bea could Master Lawyer get for
his paines, and so was faine to depart with a flea in his eare.
_Dolens_ doth shew his purse, and tels you this, [5.]
It is more horrid than a Pest-house is;
For in a Pest-house many mortals enter,
But in his purse, one angell dares not venture.
[61.] An old merry Parson that lived in the old merry dayes, being a
little purblined by being a very good fellow that would alwayes pay
his Clubb,[F. 135] having sat up late on the Satterday night, was a
little unfitted in his eyes to read right the next morning; turned to
a Chapter in _Exodus_, the beginning of the Chapter began thus, _And
God told Moses_ &c, but, his eyes failing him, like a true Clubber he
read thus, _And the Lord told Noses_[F. 136] &c--
[Footnote 135: _i.e._ His share of the liquor consumed.]
[Footnote 136: Counted heads, so that all should pay their due
proportion.]
[78.] Two Gentlemen talking in latin, in the presence of a woman,
she grew jealous that they spake of her, and desired them to speake
english that she might answer them, for she said she was perswaded
when men spake latin, although they spake but two words, that
still one of them was naught: where upon one of the Gentlemen sayd
presently, _Bona mulier_,[F. 137] she replyed, I know _bona_ is good,
but I'le warrant ye the other word meanes something that's nought.
[Footnote 137: _Good woman._]