There was a case in the Edinburgh Court of Session the other day,
which shows what is thought of authors north of the Tweed--and not by
publishers, either. A witness remarked of a "defender" that "he was of
a literary turn of mind, and he thought that spoiled him." Many persons
have had similar thoughts, but they have generally refrained from
uttering them quite so bluntly.
Mistress HATHAWAY rejoiced in a daughter christened ANNE,
Whose proceedings she regarded with concern;
Quoth she--"That WILLUM SHAKSPEARE as a son-in-law I ban.
Why? Because he has a literary turn."
Growled Sir W-LL-M, on perusal of a certain _Life of Pitt_--
"Well, we all unquestionably live and learn;
But, in spite of DIZZY'S precedent, I don't believe one bit
In a Premier with a literary turn."
Said W-LS-L-Y, when a recent work he blankly had surveyed--
"To answer this biography I yearn.
What an admirable soldier H-ML-Y might, perhaps, have made,
If he had not had a literary turn!"
* * * * *
"JUST ON THE CARDS."--Herr IFF'S orchestra. In how
uncertain a state of mind would a telegram from Herr IFF leave
the giver of the entertainment who, having requested wire informing
him whether Herr IFF and his band could come, should receive
this reply: "_If can come will be there at hour stated._" This supposes
that some well-informed, grammatical, telegraphic young lady-clerk has
corrected the spelling of "IFF." _À propos_ of IFF, a
complete entertainment would be a recital by the Veteran HOWE
of WATTS' poems, accompanied by IFF'S band; and a
reading from _Le Château d'If_.
* * * * *
INTELLIGIBLE, BUT NOT CLEAR.--"I think," said Mrs. R.'s
married niece, "that good singing is quite wasted on an ordinary
evening party. Now I remember an evening when SANTLEY sang in
a crowded drawing-room at our house, and _a pin might have dropped!_"
* * * * *
A DECISION. THE DR. G. TESTIMONIAL.--The _D. T._ is a good
judge of popular sentiment, and, attired as a Judge, is _D. T. ermined_
that '95 shall be remembered as "_the_ Year of GRACE."