As God revealed this precious truth, I felt as though some one had
said of me, "Doth Job serve God for naught?" and that God could not have
justified me as he did Job. My own heart showed me self-seeking. I saw
then that I had prayed to be blessed; that I had longed for satisfaction;
that I had sought for joy and peace and love and spirituality, partly
at least, that I might be satisfied and well pleased with myself, and,
furthermore, that I might be considered spiritual among the brethren.
Also, I was honestly anxious to be a blessing to others and in
everything to be an "example of the believers." But to seek the Lord
simply to please him never occurred to me, until I was reminded of his
unselfish love for me. He desired me to be "all for him," not because my
little all could make him any richer, but because it was only then that
he could really be "all for me" and bestow upon me the riches of his
love. A sentence from Fenelon made me more ashamed than ever. It reads
something like this: "Would you serve God only as he gives you pleasure
in serving him?"