_I will not think it real,_
_Those sad things were only dreams_
_Dreamed in a night of dreams._
I wish that you would think so too. You dwell too much
upon nothing.
_Only life is fickle:_
_We know not how it will end._
_But promises shall endure_
_As long as the pine-tree at Suminoye._[25]
O my beloved, I spoke to you of what I did not heartily
wish. You are too literal. I am sorry for that.
Yet the lady's thought lingered over that sad intention and she
lamented much. Once she was making haste to set out when she received
the Prince's letter:
_Oh, I longed for it, though I had just seen it_
_A yamato-nadeshiko[26] growing in the hedge of a mountain-dwelling._
It was painful to her present mind, yet she replied:
_If you love, come and see,_
_Even the thousand swift gods will not forbid_
_Those who follow in the Way._
He smiled over the poem. As he was reading sutras those days he sent
the following poem:
_The way of meeting is not god-forbidden._
_But I am on the seat of the Law_
_And cannot leave it._
Her answer:
_Then will I go thither to seek you,_
_Only do you enlarge the seat!_
Once it snowed heavily and he sent her a poem affixed to a branch
covered with snow:
_Snow falls, and on all the branches_
_Plum flowers are in bloom,_
_Though it is not yet spring._
This was unexpected and she wrote back:
_Thinking that plum flowers were in bloom_
_I broke the branch,_
_And snow scattered like the flowers._
The next morning early he sent a poem:
_These winter nights lovers keep vigil._
_Lying on one's lonely bed_
_Day dawns_
_And the eyelids have not met._
Her answer:
_Can it be true?_
_On Winter nights eyes are shut in ice [frozen tears]_
_And midnight hours are desolate._
_I wait for dawn, although no joy is in it._
What the Prince had been thinking of he wrote in heart-dwindling words,
saying, "I think I cannot live out my life in this world," so she wrote
back:
_For me, it is fitting to speak of these things,_
_For they recall_
_The romance of past days._
His poem:
_I would not exist even for a moment_
_In a world where sorrows_
_Follow one another like the joints_
_In the bamboo stalk._
He had been troubling himself to find out a fit place to conceal
her, but he reflected, "She is not used to such a life and would be
embarrassed by it. For my part, I should be much rebuked. It is simpler
to go myself and bring her as my maid."
So on the eighteenth of the Finishing month on a moon-bright night he
visited her. He said in the ordinary way, "Now, please come," and she
thought it for a night only. When she got into the palanquin alone,
"Take an attendant with you. If you are willing we will talk together
tranquilly to-morrow and the day after to-morrow."
He had not spoken in this way before, and she, guessing his intention,
took her maid with her. She was not carried to the same house as
before. The room was beautifully adorned, and he said, "Live here
privately; you may have several attendants." Now she was sure she had
understood him and she thought it fortunate to come thus secretly.
People would be astonished to find she had come here to live before
they were aware. When day dawned she sent her servant to fetch her case
of combs and other things. The Prince left the room, but the shutters
were still closed. It was not frightful, but uncomfortable.
[Illustration: "IN THE DAYTIME COURTIERS CAME TO SEE HIM"]
"I wish," said the Prince, "to arrange that you shall live in the North
building. This room is near the Audience Room and has no charm in it"
[i.e. some one might discover her]. So she shut herself up and listened
in secret. In the daytime courtiers of the ex-Emperor [his father] came
to see him. He said: "How is it with you here? Can you stay? I feared
that you would find it disagreeable by my side"; and she answered, "I
feared just the same thing." He laughed and said: "To tell the truth,
take care of yourself while I am away; some impertinent fellows may
come to catch a glimpse of you. In a few days I will have you live
openly in the room where now is my housekeeper [nurse]. The room where
I pass the day has no visitors."
After two or three days she was removed to the North side building.[27]
People were astonished and ran and told the Princess, who said: "Even
without this event, I have not been treated as I ought to have been.
She is of no high birth; it is too much." She was angry because he had
told her nothing. His secrecy displeased her very much, and she was
more inconsolable than ever. The Prince felt sorry for her and tried to
be with her oftener. She said to him: "I am ill with hearing rumours
and have come to hate seeing people. Why have you not told me this
before? I would not have interfered: I cannot bear to be treated like a
woman of no importance. I am ashamed to think that people are laughing
at me." She said it weeping and weeping. He answered: "I brought her
for my maid, and I thought that you would allow it; as you are angry
with me the Lieutenant-General [her brother] hates me also. I brought
her to dress my hair and she shall serve you also." The Princess was
not softened by these words, but she was silenced.
Thus days passed and the lady became used to the court life. She
dressed his hair and served in everything. As he did not allow her to
retire to her private room, the visits of the Princess became more and
more rare. The Princess lamented it infinitely. The year turned back
and on the first day of the Social month all the courtiers came to
perform the ceremony of congratulation before the Emperor. The Prince
was among them. He was younger and fairer than any, and even this made
her ashamed of herself. From the Princess's house her ladies went
out to see the procession, yet they did not care so much to see the
courtiers as to look at her. They were in great disorder looking about;
it was an ugly sight.
After dark when the ceremony was over, His Highness came back and all
the court nobles came with him to amuse themselves. It was very gay and
a contrast to the solitary life of her old home. One day the Prince
heard that even the lowest servants were speaking evil of her. He
thought it was due to the behaviour of his wife, and being displeased
seldom went to the Royal dwelling. She was sorry for the Princess, yet
she did not know what to do. She remained there, thinking that she
would do as she was bid.
The Princess's elder sister was married to the Crown Prince and just
then was living with her parents. She wrote to the younger Princess:
"How are you? I have heard something of what people are saying these
days. Is it true? Even I feel disgraced. Come to us during the night."
The Princess could not console herself when she thought how much people
who make talk about nothing were gossiping. She wrote back to her
sister: "I have received your letter. I had been unhappy in the world
[married life] and now am in a painful situation. For a time I will go
back, and beholding the young Princess will comfort me. Please send
some one to summon me. I cannot go away when I desire, for he will not
permit it." She began to put her affairs in order, taking away those
things which must not be seen by others. She said: "I am going there
for a while, for if I stay here my husband will feel uncomfortable to
come to me. It is painful for both of us." And they said: "People are
talking and laughing about it a good deal. He went out himself to get
her. She is dazzling to the eye; she lives in the court ladies' room
over there. She goes to the Prince's hall three or four times a day. It
is quite right that you should punish him--going away with few words!"
All hated the lady, and he was sorry for her. His Highness suspected
what his wife was going to do, and he found his conjecture
realized when the sons of his brother-in-law came to fetch her. A
lady-in-waiting said to the housekeeper: "The princess has taken
important things with her; she is going away." The housekeeper was in
great anxiety and said to the Prince: "The Princess is going away. What
will the Crown Prince think of it! Go to comfort her."
It was painful to her [the lady] to see these things going on. She was
very sorry and pained, yet, as it was an unfit time to say anything,
she kept silence. She wanted to get away from this disagreeable place,
but thought that also not good. She thought she could never get rid
of her trouble if she stayed. His Highness went towards the Princess,
who met him as if nothing had happened. "Is it true," he said, "that
you are going to your elder sister? Why have you not asked me for the
palanquin?" She answered: "Something has happened. There is something
which demands me and they have sent messengers for me." She said
nothing more. The Princess's words, her letters, and those of her
sister were written roughly, from supposition.