"Don't you see the position you're putting yourself in?" she said.
"Position?" I repeated. "What position?"
"It's horrible, it's ignoble," she broke out. "I have always
admired you for the way you kept yourself clear of such an
ambiguous relation--you've known to the fraction of an inch what
to take, what to refuse--to preserve your self-respect--my
respect--unimpaired. And here I see you slipping into degradation.
Oh, Hugo! I can't bear it."
"Is it such a crime to borrow a little money?" I asked.
"Not if you pay it back," she returned. "Not if you mean to pay it
back. But you know you can't. You know you won't!"
"You think it's the thin edge of the wedge?" I said. "The
beginning of the end and all that kind of thing?"
"You will go on," she cried. "You will become a dependent in this
house, a hanger-on, a sponger. I will hate you. You will hate
yourself. It went through me like a knife when I found it out."
I smoked my cigar in silence. I suppose she was quite right--
horribly right, though I didn't like her any better for being so
plain-spoken about it. I felt myself turning red under her gaze.
"What do you want me to do?" I said at length.
"Pay it back," she said.
"I wish to God I could," I said. "But you know how I live, Teresa,
hanging on by the skin of my teeth--hardly able to keep my head
above water, let alone having a dollar to spare."
"Then you can't pay," she said.
"I don't think I can," I returned.
"Then you ought to leave this house," she said.
"You have certainly made it impossible for me to stay, Teresa," I
said.
"I want to make it impossible," she cried. "You--you don't
understand--you think I'm cruel--it's because I like you, Hugo--
it's because you're the one man I admire above anybody in the
world. I'd rather see you starving than dishonoured."
"Thank you for your kind interest," I said ironically. "Under the
circumstances I am almost tempted to wish you admired me less."
"Am I not right?" she demanded.
"Perfectly right," I returned. "Oh, yes! Perfectly right."
"And you'll go," she said.
"Yes, I'll go," I said.
"And earn the money and pay father?" she went on.
"And earn the money and pay father," I repeated.
"And then come back?" she added.
"Never, never, never!" I cried out.