TRAVEL ETIQUETTE
THE RESTLESS URGE OF TRAVEL
Man is essentially a restless being. Ever since the world began, men and
women have found themselves growing impatient, eager for new scenes, new
faces, new experiences. First they packed up their few belongings and
moved by foot to another place a few miles away. Then they took down
their tents and put them up in some other place. Soon we find them
building houses, and at different periods moving to other houses.
Gradually, through the ages, as man's desire for wider experiences and a
wider radius for travel and exploration developed, the horse-drawn
carriage appeared, then the steamboat, then the locomotive, the surface
car, the subway, the automobile and airplane.
Diogenes with his lantern could not find an honest man, and he would
have just as difficult a task to-day to find a man, woman or child who
does not love to travel. Everyone likes to see new scenes, meet new
people, enjoy new experiences; and the easiest way to accomplish this is
through traveling.
THE CUSTOMS OF COUNTRIES
In America, where almost everyone is something of a tourist, the
etiquette of travel must not be neglected. And it is particularly
important that the customs of foreign countries be respected, especially
now that the world is becoming one great family and intercourse among
the nations is increasing every day.
Somehow, we Americans feel that there is no other country in the world
quite as wonderful as our dear United States. There is, of course, no
reason why we should not believe this; but it is bad form and poor
judgment to show by action and speech in other countries that you
believe it. The man or woman who affects a supercilious disdain of all
foreign countries and their forms and customs, is not impressing the
natives with his vast superiority, but is really convincing them that he
or she is an ill-bred simpleton. And even our beloved America is hardly
perfect enough to warrant a great deal of boasting.
In traveling abroad, every national prejudice, every custom of every
little town or village, should be observed as nearly as possible. "When
in Rome do as the Romans do" is the truest courtesy that can be observed
by those who travel. Well-bred and polite people conform to native
customs no matter how strange they may appear. And they do it
gracefully, with a smile of friendliness rather than one of disdain.
In her book "Fear and Conventionality," Elsie Parsons relates an
incident during her visit to Tokyo. She and her companions were the
guests of Japan. As they were on their way to the station, the natives
stole up furtively and placed cards in their carriages. Realizing that
it must be some native custom, the occupants of the carriages merely
smiled and allowed the cards to remain. Perhaps if they had been haughty
individuals they might have scowled at the seeming intrusion, thrown
aside the cards, and won the everlasting hate of the natives not only
for themselves but for all future American tourists. For one ill-bred
traveler makes it hard for the next people who pass along the same
route, however courteous they may be. The best way to make a pleasant
journey is to adapt oneself graciously and courteously to varying
circumstances and conditions.
THE TRAVELER'S WARDROBE
It is not wise to overburden oneself with numerous clothes when
traveling. Wardrobes can always be replenished if the necessity arises,
in other countries, and there is really no need to impede one's journey
with numerous trunks and handbags that must be constantly checked,
looked after and traced. Many people have journeyed happily all over
Europe with only a suit case or two.
Women should dress quietly and inconspicuously when traveling. A dark,
tailored suit with light blouses is in excellent taste, especially when
worn with a small dark turban or toque. In her wardrobe should be
simple, but smart frocks for the afternoon, an evening gown, numerous
fresh blouses and perhaps a sport outfit or two. An abundant supply of
fresh undergarments is essential, but even these can be bought during
the trip if the supply does not hold out. Remember that it is a wise
rule to take too little rather than too much. An experienced traveler
can usually be distinguished by the small amount of luggage he carries.
The wardrobe of the gentleman traveling should also be as small as
possible. Of course the number of suits and the quantity of linen he
takes with him depends upon the length of his trip and the social
activities he expects to indulge in.
If the trip is to be one of long duration the porter will provide a
paper bag in which the hat may be placed. On a trip of this kind it is
permissible to make oneself at ease by removing hat and wraps and
leaning against a pillow which the porter will furnish upon request.
IN THE TRAIN
An ill-bred person is always known by his selfishness and discourtesy in
the train. He will claim more service and comfort than he is entitled
to. He will scold the attendants and make himself generally a nuisance.
He will encroach upon the rights of others, assume an air of importance,
and make himself conspicuous by his actions and manners.
When in the train, be as solicitous of the passenger's comforts as you
would be of your dearest friend's, if he or she were traveling with you.
Do not keep your window open if you know that it is causing discomfort
to others. Do not spread your hand-luggage into the aisles where other
passengers will be likely to trip over it. It is good nature, courtesy
and an affable adaptation to unexpected circumstances that mark the lady
and gentleman in traveling.
If someone opens a window that places you in a draught or exposes you to
flying cinders or other discomforts, it is permissible to request
politely that the window be lowered again. The courteous man or woman
will do so immediately without impatience or annoyance.
All boisterous behavior, loud laughing and talking, are as reprehensible
in the train as they are in the drawing-room. Composure of manner and a
calm, easy grace distinguish the cultured traveler. He who is restless,
excitable, fidgety, who talks in loud tones, walks back and forth to
the water cooler many times, arranges and rearranges his belongings, is
merely advertising to the other passengers in the train that he is
traveling for the first time, and that he does not know how to conduct
himself.
It should be remembered that the railroad train is a public place, and
therefore it is not correct to discuss family affairs or converse loudly
about people who are absent while you are traveling on it. This habit of
talking about people who are absent is most uncivil. How often do we
overhear conversations in which some unfortunate man or woman is "picked
to pieces" by inconsiderate friends or acquaintances who mean no harm
and bear no malice but having nothing else to talk about, choose their
friend as the subject of their conversation. It is unkind, and it is
certainly bad form.
IN THE SLEEPING CAR
In traveling on the sleeping car the person who has the lower berth is
entitled to the seat facing forward while the one with the upper berth
has the seat facing backward. If a lady was unable to procure a lower
berth and the gentleman beneath her offers to exchange she may at
discretion accept the offer.
When one is ready to go to bed he rings for the porter to prepare the
berth. In crowded trains it may be some time before this can be done and
the owner of the berth must be patient until his turn comes. It is
courteous to consult one's seat mate before asking to have the beds made
for the night, and if one wishes to go to bed early because of fatigue
or slight illness, he may politely beg of his partner to allow him to do
so.
The person who is to spend the night on the train should provide himself
with a dressing gown, a traveling toilette case containing the necessary
accessories such as brushes, soap, tooth-paste, pins, etc. One may dress
and undress in the regular dressing room but many people prefer to
accomplish the greater part of their toilette in their berths. It is not
permissible to take exclusive possession of the dressing-room or to
spread one's belongings out so as to be in the way of the other
travelers.
TRAIN COURTESY
A gentleman always steps aside to permit a woman to enter a train first.
He does not rush ahead of her for a choice seat, nor does he open a
window near her without having first requested and obtained her
permission to do so.
Civility of the highest sort is possible when traveling in a train. One
may be courteous to the gruff ticket collector and polite to the
bustling expressman. A "soft answer turneth away wrath"--and we usually
find that a curt, peremptory order receives response that is no less
curt; but a kind and courteous request invariably receives an immediate
friendly response. "Thank you" is never superfluous, and it is only the
exceedingly impolite man who fails to say it when some service, no
matter how trivial, has been performed for him.
When a gentleman sees that a woman passenger is having difficulty in
raising a window, he need feel no hesitancy in offering to assist her.
However, the courtesy ends when the window has been raised; he resumes
his seat and the incident is closed. It is incorrect for him to attempt
a conversation with her or to intrude upon her in any way. The gentleman
should also offer his seat to a woman standing in an overcrowded train,
or to a man very much older than himself. A man or woman carrying a
child should never be permitted to remain standing.
A gentleman never allows a woman to feel incumbent upon him for monetary
assistance. For instance, if a young and inexperienced woman is
traveling alone and seems to be in doubt as to where she will be able to
get something to eat, the gentleman may offer to send a porter to take
her order. Or if no porter can be found, he may himself get her a
sandwich and a glass of milk. But he must absolutely accept the money
expended for these articles, otherwise the young woman will undoubtedly
feel embarrassed.
THE WOMAN TRAVELER
Women travel about much more independently to-day than ever before. We
find young and elderly women traveling across country for business
purposes, for relaxation, and for pleasure. And though conventions are
no less strict than they were twenty-five years ago, these women who
travel are enjoying a much wider and more untrammeled freedom than their
grandmothers ever enjoyed.
Women who have not had much experience in traveling, who are ignorant of
the laws of good conduct while _en route_, are prone to expect a great
many courtesies and much attention from the train officials and from the
gentlemen passengers. Very often they make themselves appear rude and
ill-bred by their assumed manner of haughtiness. It is the quiet,
dignified manner that commands respect; not the exacting, fault-finding
and imperious one that so many women like to affect.
The woman on a train should never sacrifice the comfort of the people
around her for her own. It is exceedingly discourteous to insist upon
having a window open, when you know that others around you object, even
though they are all men. And it is just as discourteous to accept a seat
that a gentleman has kindly relinquished, or to accept any other
courtesy, without offering polite thanks.
It is bad form to get excited over every little thing that happens. A
two-minute delay, a brief unexplained stop, is enough to make some women
fret and fume.
The woman who travels alone should maintain a great deal of dignity and
reserve. She should not make an acquaintance of any fellow-passengers of
either sex, and she should not accept courtesies from anyone without
cordial thanks. But beyond those few conventional words of thanks, there
should be no conversation with a man or woman she does not know. And
yet, when the journey is a very long one, lasting perhaps more than a
day, what harm can it be for a woman to chat a bit about the scenery or
the newest "best-seller" with the motherly looking woman beside her?
Common-sense is often the better part of etiquette.
THE WOMAN WHO TRAVELS WITH AN ESCORT
When a man serves as escort to a woman who is traveling by train, he
incurs all expenses. He buys her ticket at the station, attends to the
checking and directing of her luggage, carries her hand-bags and sees
that she is comfortably seated. He pays for all magazines and
newspapers that she wishes and fees the porter that has helped her. He
also buys and pays for all refreshments taken during the trip.
A lady invariably precedes her escort down the aisle of the train. She
takes the inside seat and leaves the arranging of the luggage and wraps
to the gentleman. He may, if he excuses himself, spend part of the trip
in the smoking car, but it is exceedingly rude of him to leave the lady
by herself throughout the trip. In fact, it is wise after the first few
hours of travel, to leave the lady to her own devices for she may want
to nap or to read a book. Even one's dearest friend, or one's favorite
brother can become monotonous and tiresome after four or five hours of
continuous conversation on a noisy train.
IN THE DINING-CAR
When a man meets a woman on a train, and after a brief conversation,
invites her into the dining-car, she may assume that he wishes to be the
host and that he would be offended if she refused to allow him to pay
for her meal. However, the woman who travels alone must be extremely
circumspect in her conduct, and she must not incur monetary obligations
from men who are almost strangers to her.
For instance, if a man and woman who have met just once before and who
are not really friends but slight acquaintances, find that they are
traveling to the same place at the same time, they may for mutual
pleasure's sake, elect to travel together. This is especially true when
the journey is one of four or five hours' duration, when a bit of
conversation would enliven the monotony of the trip. In this case, if
both decide to go into the dining-room together, the woman must by no
means allow the man to pay her bill. He may pay the tip, if he wishes,
but he must accept the money that she offers him to pay for her share of
the bill. A considerate woman will wait until they are back at their
seats before venturing to reimburse her companion. It is better to have
the waiter present separate bills. This does away with all awkwardness
and embarrassment.
A gentleman who is escorting a lady on a trip should not be expected to
pay for her meals on the train, unless there is only one and he feels
that it would be a pleasure for him to serve as host on that occasion.
But if the trip lasts several days, the woman should insist that she pay
her own expenses. This is especially important if the escort is a friend
and not a relative; she should by no means allow him to pay her bills.
CHILDREN ON THE TRAIN
Very often it is necessary for parents to travel with their children.
The mother must see that her youngsters observe the most careful order
while they are in the train and that they do not disturb the other
passengers.
It is not very pleasant for young children to sit quietly for three or
four hours, and the wise mother will see that they have something to
amuse themselves with. A big picture book for the boy, a doll for the
girl or some other equally interesting diversion will keep the child
from becoming impatient and restless.
It is very wrong to permit children to race up and down the aisles, to
climb over the backs of the seats, to play noisy games or in any other
manner disturb the other passengers. Nor is it proper for them to eat
continually, crumbling cake and dropping fruit stones upon the floor of
the train. Correct, well-bred little boys and girls will remain quietly
seated in their places, watching the scenery or looking at the pictures
in the book; and if they converse at all, it will be in a low tone that
does not annoy the man or woman in front who is reading. It is never too
early to teach children the golden rule of courtesy and respect.
If a child is addressed by a kindly neighbor, he should answer politely;
but he must not leave his place and go over to that neighbor to be
flattered and indulged, and perhaps plied with sweets that will do him
more harm than good. Courtesies extended children should be gratefully
acknowledged both by the child himself and by his mother.
IN THE TAXI CAB
When one arrives at a station one usually has to summon a taxi to the
hotel. It is hardly safe for a young woman traveling alone at night to
ride in a taxi by herself especially if the ride is to be a long one.
The best way to avoid it is for her if possible to time her trip so as
to arrive in the day time. If this cannot be done she must perforce
accept the alternative.
If a man and woman are traveling together he helps her in before getting
in himself. At the end of the ride he first helps her out and then pays
and tips the driver. Ten per cent. of the amount of the fare is the
usual rate. Unless a man is acting as a woman's escort he should not pay
her fare.
BON VOYAGE GIFTS
Many people like to send their friends _bon voyage_ gifts of flowers,
books, fruit or candy when they are going away. Steamer letters are
always acceptable and if they are arranged in some novel way they may
be most delightful. A series of letters or small packages, one to be
opened each day, go a long way toward relieving the tedium of the
journey. Similar gifts may be sent to friends who are going on a long
railway trip. The address of packages sent to steamers should include
the name of the vessel and of the line to which it belongs and the
number of the pier.
ON BOARD THE SHIP
The only place where formal introductions are not necessary is at sea.
Life on shipboard is more or less free from conventionality,
fortunately, especially for those who are making the voyage alone. The
days would be long and tedious if one refused to speak to any of the
other passengers because they had not been formally presented. It is
quite permissible, if one feels so inclined, to speak to the person
whose steamer chair is near or to the people who share one's table in
the ship's dining-room.
COURTESY ON THE SHIP
Although the barriers of social etiquette are let down on board the ship
to the extent of permitting passengers to talk to one another without
formal introductions, there is no excuse for lack of courtesy. The man
or woman who encroaches upon the rights of other passengers, who is
discourteous or rude, will undoubtedly be shunned and avoided by the
others.
It is, for instance, very bad form to use someone else's pillow,
deck-chair or book, without having first requested permission to do so.
It is also impolite to speak in loud tones, or to read aloud, where it
would disturb others who are trying to nap or to read. Noisy conduct of
any kind is an evidence of ill-breeding, and it is only the extremely
ill-bred people who will sit in little groups and discuss and comment
upon each passenger on board the ship.
Passengers are never permitted to interfere with the mechanisms of the
ship. Not only is it very incorrect to do so, but it may be criminal or
unsafe. To inspect certain parts of the ship barred to all but employees
is to risk one's own life and the lives of the other passengers. Remain
in your stateroom or on deck, but do not wander into places where
ship-ethics forbid you.
THE WOMAN CROSSING THE OCEAN
It is not usual for a woman to travel across the ocean alone. But very
often a young woman correspondent or journalist, or perhaps a woman
buyer for some large fashion establishment, finds that business takes
her abroad. She need feel no hesitancy or embarrassment in attempting
the trip, if she knows and understands all the little rules of good
conduct that govern railroad, steamship and hotel etiquette.
The young lady who is alone, should be careful that she does not make
haphazard acquaintances among the gentlemen on board the ship. It is
much wiser for her to find companions among the women passengers, and
later they will undoubtedly introduce her to their gentleman
acquaintances. She must never allow a man whose acquaintance she made
only on board the ship, to assume any of her expenses. Nor should she
sit up on the deck after eleven o'clock with one of her new
acquaintances. She must be extremely careful of her conduct, and she
must not give anyone the opportunity to talk about her and comment upon
the fact that she is traveling without a chaperon.
When there is a dance on board the ship, the woman who is traveling
alone may accept an invitation to dance from a gentleman she has not
formally met; but it is always wiser to find some excuse to avoid
dancing with a man who is a total stranger.
A CONCERT AT SEA
Very often, as the sea voyage draws near an end, a concert or
entertainment is held for the benefit of some special charity fund, or
merely for the amusement of the passengers. All those who are
accomplished in any way--who can sing, dance, recite or play a musical
instrument, are expected to volunteer their services for the occasion.
Those who are specially requested to do so, should consent amiably; it
is very rude, indeed, to refuse without some very good reason.
The passenger who absents himself from the concert which all other
passengers attend, is both impolite and ill-bred. Whether he cares to or
not, he should attend for the sake of courtesy. And everyone should
contribute to the fund if one is raised after the concert. Only a very
selfish and unkind person will refuse to contribute to a fund of this
kind.
AT THE JOURNEY'S END
In the excitement of reaching _terra firma_ once again, a few people are
inclined to forget the courtesies due the other passengers.
A little while before the ship reaches the dock, cordial farewells
should be made to all those with whom one has been friendly.
Hand-shaking is in order, and a polite phrase, such as, "Good-by, Mrs.
Jones, I hope I shall have the pleasure of seeing you again," is most
appropriate. If it is desired, an exchange of cards may accompany this
leave-taking, especially if one really wishes to continue the
friendship.
Farewells on board a ship should be brief but cordial. Long, sentimental
farewells should never be indulged in for, at the most, they cause only
sorrow at the parting of a brief friendship that may perhaps never be
resumed. A warm handclasp, a sincere word or two of farewell--and it
should be over.
AT HOTEL AND RESTAURANT
When arriving in a strange city, a traveler immediately asks to be
driven to whatever hotel he has previously decided upon. Here he
registers, using the same form that appears on his visiting card but
adding to it the name of the city from which he has come.
The woman who is traveling alone does well to wire or phone ahead to the
hotel and request that they reserve a room for her. While at the hotel,
her conduct must be unimpeachable. She must not entertain masculine
visitors in her private rooms, but only in the public reception room of
the hotel. She must not return to the hotel after midnight, and she
should not dine alone in the hotel dining-room after eight o'clock.
When a large party is to dine at a hotel, the table should be reserved
and the dishes chosen in advance. This will save a great deal of
confusion and waste of time. If the dinner is not arranged for in
advance, the host or hostess should do all the ordering, subjecting it,
of course, to the approval of the guests.
AT TEA-ROOM AND ROOF GARDEN
There seems to be something about a tea-room, whether it be at home or
in some strange city or town, that is conducive to quiet and
peacefulness. Loud talking and boisterous laughter is entirely out of
place, and those who are guilty of indulging in these two improprieties
condemn themselves as ill-bred.
At the tea-room the lady always retains her hat. Gloves are removed and
wraps may either be slipped off the shoulders or completely removed. At
the roof garden, hats are also worn, except in the evening when full
evening dress is worn. Here also, it is important that a quiet reserve
of manner characterize the lady and the gentleman. No amount of
frivolity and gayety in the atmosphere of one's environment can excuse
noisy, ill-mannered conduct.
TO THOSE WHO LOVE TO TRAVEL
Almost everyone enjoys traveling, but there are comparatively few people
who really appreciate it. To those who love to travel, who find it an
inspiration and a delight, the following bits of information may be of
interest.
If you want to enjoy a trip to a foreign country--let us say
France,--spend a week or two reading about the history and literature of
that country. Make notes while you are reading, give your imagination
full rein, and absorb just as much knowledge as you can of the habits
and customs of the French people. The cultivation of the imagination is
especially important; while you read about France, picture the tiny
villages and big cities to yourself, try to visualize the people and
their homes. And when you do arrive in France, you will find keen
enjoyment in seeing the people and places that lived first in your
imagination. We promise that you will enjoy your trip a great deal more
than if you neglected to devote a little time to the reading up of the
important facts about the country you intended to visit.
Another very good plan is to buy a French-and-English or a
Spanish-and-English dictionary before or as soon as reaching those
countries. Whether one knows the language or not, it is always safest to
have one of these little volumes handy. They are absolutely
indispensable to those who expect to travel in a country the language of
which is entirely unknown to them.
Wise tourists carry a map of the countries they intend visiting. It
saves them much time, and often prevents mistakes. These maps may be
obtained of most reliable stationers, and they take up very little
space. There are times, during the journey, when their help is well nigh
invaluable; and a map is nearly always a safer guide than a native.
A camera is a splendid thing to have along on one's trips abroad. No
matter how vivid an impression a certain scene makes upon one's mind, it
is bound to fade with the passing of a year or so. But a clear snap-shot
taken of that scene will keep it fresh indefinitely, for one needs only
to glance at the picture to have all associations with the scene
recalled. The latest cameras have a device for writing the date and name
of the place on the negative, to be printed with the picture. It is
most convenient for the tourist.
There are too many of us who rush through the world seeing nothing. We
race through one country after another, hustling and bustling, feeling
important and acting the part--and we feel that we have traveled. But
that is not travel. True travel is when a man or woman visits a strange
country and carries back with him, or her, to be remembered forever,
impressions of the people and customs of that country--valuable
impressions that make his or her life fuller, wider, more in sympathy
with the great world of fellow-men. Better stay at home and read good
books about foreign countries, than rush through them with unseeing
eyes, merely to be able to tell those at home that you have "been
abroad."