HOTEL ETIQUETTE
AT THE HOTEL
There is a very distinct code of ethics by which the lady and gentleman
must be governed when stopping at a hotel. It is a mistaken idea that
one may act as one pleases, merely because the hotel is public. But it
is as important to remember one's social obligations as it is in the
home of a friend.
Indeed, the hotel is one place where men and women are most likely to
make embarrassing blunders and commit humiliating mistakes. This is
especially true of the man or woman from a small town who stops for a
day or two at a big hotel in the city. Only by knowing thoroughly the
laws of good conduct, as adapted to hotel life, can one expect to move
smoothly and with ease through its often puzzling social intricacies.
At home, or even when visiting at a friend's home, a boor may remain
undetected. But how quickly the truth appears after he has registered at
a hotel! There are numerous little tests of good breeding that betray
him; the servants themselves soon discover whether or not he is
cultivated, well-bred. And they invariably treat him accordingly.
The definite rules will be given in the following paragraphs. But for
one's general conduct it should be remembered solely that the
hospitality of a hotel is no less worthy of courtesy and consideration
than the hospitality extended by a friend.
THE WOMAN GUEST
To-day women stop at hotels much more frequently than they did a decade
ago. The war brought with it a widened horizon for the women of America,
and they travel all over the country on political, professional and
business enterprises as well as for pleasure. It is, consequently,
necessary for them to stop often at hotels; thus they must know exactly
how to conduct themselves.
Some hotels, in smaller towns, have ladies' entrances. The woman visitor
should first ascertain whether or not there are such entrances, and if
so should govern her actions accordingly. But in large cities, hotels
generally have but one large entrance where the woman may enter without
embarrassment. Business often takes the modern woman into strange towns,
and there is no reason why she should feel the least hesitancy in
stopping at a hotel--providing she knows how to conduct herself.
Hand baggage should be relinquished at the door to attendants of the
hotel. The woman should make her way immediately to the desk-clerk,
register, and then follow the page assigned to her, to her room. It is
not good form to loiter in the lobby before going to one's room after
one has registered. A wise plan is to call the hotel on the telephone
beforehand, requesting them to reserve a room or suite of rooms as the
case may be. This will eliminate any possibility of having to leave the
hotel because there is no room. It is always a wise plan for a woman to
reserve a room in advance, especially if she is to arrive late at night
since certain hostelries refuse to admit women after a certain hour.
The day of the chaperon is practically over, except in the cases of very
young girls. But women to-day travel very often in the company of their
maids. Whether one double room or two single rooms adjoining each other
are chosen, depends upon the degree of intimacy between mistress and
maid, and also upon convenience and accommodation at the hotel. The
usual form is to reserve two adjoining rooms.
A woman never stops at a hotel without baggage. Even though she intends
to stay only over-night, she should carry a small handbag with her. A
woman traveling across country with a great deal of baggage may have her
trunks sent on ahead to the hotel if she reserves rooms previously. On
no occasion should the woman approach the clerk's desk laden with
valises and bags. A hotel attendant should take them from the car and
deposit them on the floor near the desk; or the guest's chauffeur should
deposit them at the entrance of the hotel, to be attended to by one of
the hotel attendants.
RECEIVING MASCULINE GUESTS
A gentleman calling upon a lady who is stopping at a hotel, gives his
name to the desk clerk. It is not necessary to offer a card. The form in
most common usage is, "Mr. Roberts to see Miss Nelson." The clerk will
call Miss Nelson on the telephone or will direct him to one of the
telephones in the lobby, and advise her of the visitor. If she is ill
and does not wish to see him, she will say, "Please tell Mr. Roberts I
am indisposed and I am sorry that I cannot see him to-day." But she
should not refuse to see a visitor without offering some sort of
legitimate excuse. If she is not ready to greet visitors, she may say to
the clerk, "Tell Mr. Roberts I shall be downstairs in a half-hour." That
is the maximum amount of time it is permissible to keep a visitor
waiting.
Ladies receive the gentlemen who call on them in the parlor or reception
room of the hotel. They may be hatless and gloveless, if they wish,
observing the same rules of etiquette that they would observe in their
drawing-room at home. But if the visits are entirely of a business
nature, it is always advisable for the woman to wear a hat.
To welcome a man in one's room is to break a convention that has many
years of strict practice to uphold it. It is a serious blunder in hotel
etiquette.
If a gentleman calls upon a lady at a hotel, whether it be in a business
or social capacity, and finds that she is not in, he may leave his card
with the desk clerk to be forwarded to her. It is necessary, however,
that he write on the back of the card for whom it is intended; for the
memories of desk clerks are not quite as retentive as some of us think
they are, and there is a possibility of the card being sent to the wrong
guest.
MAKING FRIENDS AT THE HOTEL
Hotels have the alarming propensity of making one feel extremely lonely,
especially if one is stopping there all by oneself. And there is the
very strong temptation to forget all about conventionalities and speak
to the friendly-looking old gentleman at the next table, or the charming
young woman in the dressing-room. But everyone, and the woman
especially, should be extremely careful in making friends and
acquaintances at the hotel.
Self-introductions are not unusual at the hotel. In the dining-room, in
the lobby, in the rest-rooms, conversations are often started that
result in self-introductions and subsequent acquaintanceships. But one
should be prudent. It is not wise to go beyond the usual civilities of
greetings and casual conversations or to take anyone into your
confidence.
While conducting yourself with all due courtesy and consideration for
the hospitality extended by the hotel, it is important to remember that
after all the hotel is not a private home, but a temporary one for
travelers--for the public. The conventions you observe in public must
therefore also be observed at the hotel. Strangers still remain
strangers, even though you sleep under the same roof with them.
If a gentleman becomes interested in another gentleman, either in the
hotel lobby or the dining-room, and he wishes to become acquainted with
him either for business or social reasons, he may request the manager of
the hotel to make the necessary introduction. He may also indulge in the
self-introduction, but it is never as effective as the introduction made
by a third person.
HOW TO REGISTER
It is not considered dignified for a woman traveling alone to sign
herself in the hotel register without the title of "Mrs." or "Miss." A
married woman should register as "Mrs. Harris K. Jennings," an unmarried
woman as "Miss Mildred Jennings." It is decidedly bad form to sign
oneself "Millie Jennings," or "Flossie Jennings" for Florence. The full
first and last name should be written out and preceded by the correct
title of "Miss" or "Mrs." Only the eldest daughter, or only daughter, of
a family may sign herself, "Miss Jennings."
When traveling together, a mother and daughter register as "Mrs. Harris
K. Jennings, Miss Mildred Jennings." Even a very young girl is
registered in this manner. A small boy's name appears in the register as
"Master Edward Jennings." A husband and wife register as "Mr. and Mrs.
Harris K. Jennings." To use the expression "Mr. Harris K. Jennings and
wife" is considered very bad form indeed. Only those who are ignorant of
the best rules of hotel etiquette make this blunder.
After the name, the town and state from which the visitors have come
should be written in the register. Thus the complete entry of a young
lady would be, "Miss Mildred Jennings, Cambridge, Mass." A gentleman
would register in this manner, "Mr. Harris K. Jennings, 681 Fifth Ave.,
New York." Even if he lives in New York and stops at a hotel in that
city, he must write "New York" after his name. Nor is it correct for him
to omit the "Mr." from before his name.
Deep flourishes and illegible handwriting should be avoided. The
well-bred man or woman registers neatly in a clear, small, legible
script.
IN THE PUBLIC DINING-ROOM
"A gentleman is known by the way he eats," declared a well-known writer
recently in one of his newspaper articles. And this is particularly true
in the hotel dining-room, where one is judged--or misjudged--by one's
table manners; and one should remember to make them as gracefully
correct as if the dinner were a most formal one in a private home.
If you drop a fork or other part of the table service, do not stoop to
pick it up. Simply ignore the incident and leave it to the waiter to
attend to. A most reprehensible habit is to pick up a knife or fork that
has been dropped, wipe it carefully with the napkin, and proceed to use
it. The correct thing to do is to leave the fork or knife on the floor
where it has fallen and request another one from the waiter in charge.
It is optional with the ladies whether or not they wear their hats to
dinner. In the dining-rooms of the larger hotels, however, women
generally do not appear hatless. Even though one is a permanent guest
and a special table is reserved for one each evening, it is better to
wear a hat to dinner at the hotel.
Loud laughing and talking reflect ill-manners. And this applies not only
to the dining-room, but to the private rooms as well. As a rule, the
partitions in hotels are thin and talking that is the least bit loud can
be heard in the next room. For this reason, it is also discourteous to
play any musical instrument at such times of the day when it would be
likely to disturb those whose rooms adjoin. At the table, conversation
may be conducted only when low, natural tones of voice are used. Loud
talking should be avoided.
Guests who wish to eat in their rooms should request that a waiter be
sent to the room with a menu. The order is given, and the waiter will
see that it is satisfactorily filled. For this service he should receive
an extra fee from the guest.
HOTEL STATIONERY
Hotels invariably place a supply of writing paper in the room. This is
meant for the business or social correspondence of the guest. More of
this paper is usually found in the writing-room.
Do not waste the hotel stationery. Use it only if you have to. You would
not waste the stationery provided for your use at the home of your
friend. Then why take advantage of the courtesies extended by your
hotel? Just as one adapts oneself to the routine at the home of a
friend, so should one accustom and adapt oneself to the rules and
regulations of the hotel.
Never take any of the hotel stationery away with you. It is as wrong in
principle as carrying away one of the Turkish towels. Use only as much
as you need for your correspondence, and leave the rest behind you.
REGARDING THE SERVANTS
Arrogance is only another form of selfish pride. The man or woman who is
cultured is never arrogant. After all, isn't it sham--sham adopted to
cover the defects of manner and bearing?
If you are dissatisfied with some service performed by one of the hotel
attendants, if one of them is inattentive to your wants or negligible in
his duties, complain to the manager. Do not scold the servants
themselves, or order them in a peremptory manner to do such and such a
thing correctly. The greatest vulgarity--and you will do well to
remember this--is to look down upon a person as inferior merely because
he or she has to earn his or her own living. There is nothing to be
ashamed of in good, honest, faithful toil. But the person who ridicules
it has a great deal to be ashamed of.
Be considerate to the hotel attendants. Do not expect the maid to come
hurrying to your room when you ring at one o'clock in the morning. The
guest who is kind and thoughtful will receive twice as much service as
the person who is constantly complaining and scolding.
LEAVING THE HOTEL
When you are ready to leave the hotel, call an attendant to carry your
baggage down to the entrance. Do not attempt to carry it down yourself,
whether you are a man or woman, unless you have only one or two small
valises.
Different hotels have different rules with regard to keys. Some require
that the key be returned to the desk clerk. Others require that it be
left in the room. When in doubt, the best form is to return the key at
the desk before asking the cashier for one's bill. After this is paid,
ring for a servant to call a car; never do this yourself.
Tipping, though an entirely un-American custom, is still widely
practiced. When leaving the hotel, it is necessary to tip, or fee, those
hotel attendants who have been of service.