justly proud, even as they were of old; many were the trophies for
victories raised by them, now for all Greece in common, now separately for
Athens herself, in those days when she contended single‐handed against all
the rest of Greece as well as against the barbarian: but there was no
achievement and no display of courage on your part so prodigious that
other cities cannot in their turn rival it. For they too wrought some such
deeds in alliance with you, and some on their own account. And that I may
not by recalling these and then balancing them be thought either to pay
more honour to one state than to another in the matters in which they are
your rivals, or to praise less than they deserve those who proved
inferior, in order to gain an advantage, after the manner of rhetoricians,
I desire to bring forward on your behalf only this fact to which I can
discover nothing that can be set against it on the part of the other Greek
states, and which has been assigned to you by ancient tradition. When the
Lacedaemonians were in power you took that power away from them not by
violence but by your reputation for justice; and it was your laws that
nurtured Aristides the Just. Moreover, brilliant as were these proofs of
your virtue, you confirmed them by still more brilliant actions. For to be
reputed just might perhaps happen to any individual even though it were
not true; perhaps it would not be surprising that among many worthless
citizens there should be found one virtuous man. For even among the Medes
is not a certain Deioces(426) celebrated, and Abaris(427) too among the
Hyperboreans, and Anacharsis(428) among the Scythians? And in their case
the surprising thing was that, born as they were among nations who knew
nothing of justice, they nevertheless prized justice, two of them
sincerely, though the third only pretended to do so out of self‐interest.
But it would be hard to find a whole people and city enamoured of just
deeds and just words except your own. And I wish to remind you of one out
of very many such deeds done in your city. After the Persian war
Themistocles(429) was planning to introduce a resolution to set fire
secretly to the naval arsenals of the Greeks, and then did not dare to
propose it to the assembly; but he agreed to confide the secret to any one
man whom the people should elect by vote; and the people chose Aristides
to represent them. But he when he heard the scheme did not reveal what he
had been told, but reported to the people that there could be nothing more
profitable or more dishonest than that advice. Whereupon the city at once
voted against it and rejected it, very nobly, by Zeus, and as it behoved
men to do who are nurtured under the eyes of the most wise goddess.(430))
Οὐκοῦν εἰ ταῦτα παρ᾽ ὑμῖν μὲν ἦν πάλαι, σώζεται δὲ ἐξ ἐκείνου καὶ εἰς ὑμᾶς
ἔτι τῆς τῶν προγόνων ἀρετῆς ὥσπερ ἐμπύρευμά τι σμικρόν, εἰκός ἐστιν ὑμᾶς
οὐκ εἰς τὸ μέγεθος τῶν πραττομένων ἀφορᾶν οὐδὲ εἴ τις ὥσπερ δι᾽ ἀέρος
ἱπτάμενος διὰ τῆς γῆς ἐβάδισεν ἀμηχάνῳ τάχει καὶ ἀτρύτῳ ῥώμῃ, σκοπεῖν δὲ
ὅτῳ ταῦτα μετὰ τοῦ δικαίου κατείργασται, [270] κᾆτα ἂν μὲν φαίνηται ξὺν
δίκῃ πράττων, ἰδίᾳ τε αὐτὸν ἴσως καὶ δημοσίᾳ πάντες ἐπαινεῖτε, τῆς δίκης
δὲ ὀλιγωρήσας ἀτιμάζοιτο ἂν παρ᾽ ὑμῶν εἰκότως. οὐδὲν γὰρ οὕτως ἐστὶν ὡς τὸ
δίκαιον ἀδελφὸν φρονήσει. τοὺς οὖν ἀτιμάζοντας τοῦτο δικαίως ἂν καὶ ὡς εἰς
τὴν παρ᾽ ὑμῖν θεὸν ἀσεβοῦντας ἐξελαύνοιτε. βούλομαι οὖν ὑμῖν τὰ κατ᾽
ἐμαυτὸν οὐκ ἀγνοοῦσι μὲν ἀπαγγεῖλαι δὲ ὅμως, [B] ὅπως, εἴ τι λέληθεν·
εἰκὸς δὲ ἔνια καὶ ὅσα μάλιστα τοῖς πᾶσι γνωσθῆναι προσήκει· ὑμῖν τε καὶ
δι᾽ ὑμῶν τοῖς ἄλλοις Ἕλλησι γένοιτο γνώριμα. μηδεὶς οὖν ὑπολάβῃ με ληρεῖν
ἢ φλυαρεῖν, εἰ περὶ τῶν πᾶσιν ὥσπερ ἐν ὀφθαλμοῖς γεγονότων οὐ πάλαι μόνον,
ἀλλὰ καὶ μικρῷ πρότερον, ποιεῖσθαί τινας ἐπιχειρήσαιμι λόγους· οὐδένα γὰρ
οὐδὲν ἀγνοεῖν βούλομαι τῶν ἐμαυτοῦ, λανθάνειν δὲ ἄλλον ἄλλα εἰκός· [C]
ἄρξομαι δὲ ἀπὸ τῶν προγόνων πρῶτον τῶν ἐμαυτοῦ.
(Then if this was your conduct of old, and from that day to this there is
kept alive some small spark as it were of the virtue of your ancestors, it
is natural that you should pay attention not to the magnitude merely of
any performance, nor whether a man has travelled over the earth with
incredible speed and unwearied energy as though he had flown through the
air; but that you should rather consider whether one has accomplished this
feat by just means, and then if he seems to act with justice, you will
perhaps all praise him both in public and private; but if he have slighted
justice he will naturally be scorned by you. For there is nothing so
closely akin to wisdom as justice. Therefore those who slight her you will
justly expel as showing impiety towards the goddess who dwells among you.
For this reason I wish to report my conduct to you, though indeed you know
it well, in order that if there is anything you do not know—and it is
likely that some things you do not, and those in fact which it is most
important for all men to be aware of—it may become known to you and
through you to the rest of the Greeks. Therefore let no one think that I
am trifling and wasting words if I try to give some account of things that
have happened as it were before the eyes of all men, not only long ago but
also just lately. For I wish none to be ignorant of anything that concerns
me, and naturally everyone cannot know every circumstance. First I will
begin with my ancestors.)
Καὶ ὅτι μὲν τὰ πρὸς πατρὸς ἡμῖν ἐντεῦθεν ὅθενπερ καὶ Κωνσταντίῳ τὰ πρὸς
πατρὸς ὥρμηται, φανερόν. τὼ γὰρ ἡμετέρω πατέρε γεγόνατον ἀδελφὼ πατρόθεν.
οὕτω δὲ πλησίον ἡμᾶς ὄντας συγγενεῖς ὁ φιλανθρωπότατος οὗτος βασιλεὺς οἷα
εἰργάσατο, ἓξ μὲν ἀνεψιοὺς ἐμοῦ τε καὶ ἑαυτοῦ, πατέρα δὲ τὸν ἐμόν,(431)
ἑαυτοῦ δὲ θεῖον, [D] καὶ προσέτι κοινὸν ἕτερον τὸν πρὸς πατρὸς θεῖον
ἀδελφόν τε ἐμὸν τὸν πρεσβύτατον ἀκρίτους κτεῖνας, ἐμὲ δὲ καὶ ἕτερον
ἀδελφὸν ἐμὸν ἐθελήσας μὲν κτεῖναι, τέλος δὲ ἐπιβαλὼν φυγήν, ἀφ᾽ ἧς ἐμὲ μὲν
ἀφῆκεν, ἐκεῖνον δὲ ὀλίγῳ πρότερον τῆς σφαγῆς ἐξέδυσε(432) τὸ τοῦ Καίσαρος
ὄνομα, τί με δεῖ νῦν ὥσπερ ἐκ τραγῳδίας τὰ ἄρρητα ἀναμετρεῖσθαι;
μετεμέλησε γὰρ αὐτῷ, φασί, καὶ ἐδήχθη δεινῶς, [271] ἀπαιδίαν τε ἐντεῦθεν
νομίζει δυστυχεῖν, τά τε ἐς τοὺς πολεμίους τοὺς Πέρσας οὐκ εὐτυχῶς
πράττειν ἐκ τούτων ὑπολαμβάνει. ταῦτα ἐθρύλουν οἱ περὶ τὴν αὐλὴν τότε καὶ
τὸν μακαρίτην ἀδελφὸν ἐμὸν Γάλλον, τοῦτο νῦν πρῶτον ἀκούοντα τὸ ὄνομα·
κτείνας γὰρ αὐτὸν παρὰ τοὺς νόμους οὐδὲ τῶν πατρῴων μεταλαχεῖν εἴασε τάφων
οὐδὲ τῆς εὐαγοῦς ἠξίωσε μνήμης.
(That on the father’s side I am descended from the same stock as
Constantius on his father’s side is well known. Our fathers were brothers,
sons of the same father. And close kinsmen as we were, how this most
humane Emperor treated us! Six of my cousins and his, and my father who
was his own uncle and also another uncle of both of us on the father’s
side, and my eldest brother, he put to death without a trial; and as for
me and my other brother,(433) he intended to put us to death but finally
inflicted exile upon us; and from that exile he released me, but him he
stripped of the title of Caesar just before he murdered him. But why
should I “recount,” as though from some tragedy, “all these unspeakable
horrors?”(434) For he has repented, I am told, and is stung by remorse;
and he thinks that his unhappy state of childlessness is due to those
deeds, and his ill success in the Persian war he also ascribes to that
cause. This at least was the gossip of the court at the time and of those
who were about the person of my brother Gallus of blessed memory, who is
now for the first time so styled. For after putting him to death in
defiance of the laws he neither suffered him to share the tombs of his
ancestors nor granted him a pious memory.)
Ὅπερ οὖν ἔφην, [B] ἔλεγον τοσαῦτα καὶ δὴ καὶ ἔπειθον ἡμᾶς,(435) ὅτι τὰ μὲν
ἀπατηθεὶς εἰργάσατο, τὰ δὲ βίᾳ καὶ ταραχαῖς εἴξας ἀτάκτου καὶ ταραχώδους
στρατεύματος. τοσαῦτα ἡμῖν ἐπῇδον ἐν ἀγρῷ τινι τῶν ἐν Καππαδοκίᾳ
κατακεκλεισμένοις, οὐδένα ἐῶντες προσελθεῖν, τὸν μὲν ἀπὸ τῆς ἐν
Τράλλεσι(436) φυγῆς ἀνακαλεσάμενοι, ἐμὲ δὲ κομιδῇ μειράκιον ἔτι τῶν
διδασκαλείων ἀπαγαγόντες. πῶς [C] ἂν ἐνταῦθα φράσαιμι περὶ τῶν ἓξ
ἐνιαυτῶν, οὓς ἐν ἀλλοτρίῳ κτήματι διάγοντες,(437) ὥσπερ οἱ παρὰ τοῖς
Πέρσαις ἐν τοῖς φρουρίοις τηρούμενοι, μηδενὸς ἡμῖν προσιόντος ξένου μηδὲ
τῶν πάλαι γνωρίμων ἐπιτρεπομένου τινὸς ὡς ἡμᾶς φοιτᾶν, διεζῶμεν
ἀποκεκλεισμένοι παντὸς μὲν μαθήματος σπουδαίου, πάσης δὲ ἐλευθέρας
ἐντεύξεως, ἐν ταῖς λαμπραῖς οἰκετείαις τρεφόμενοι [D] καὶ τοῖς ἡμῶν αὐτῶν
δούλοις ὥσπερ ἑταίροις συγγυμναζόμενοι; προσῄει γὰρ οὐδεὶς οὐδὲ ἐπετρέπετο
τῶν ἡλικιωτῶν.
(As I said, they kept telling us and tried to convince us that Constantius
had acted thus, partly because he was deceived, and partly because he
yielded to the violence and tumult of an undisciplined and mutinous army.
This was the strain they kept up to soothe us when we had been imprisoned
in a certain farm(438) in Cappadocia; and they allowed no one to come near
us after they had summoned him from exile in Tralles and had dragged me
from the schools, though I was still a mere boy. How shall I describe the
six years we spent there? For we lived as though on the estate of a
stranger, and were watched as though we were in some Persian garrison,
since no stranger came to see us and not one of our old friends was
allowed to visit us; so that we lived shut off from every liberal study
and from all free intercourse, in a glittering servitude, and sharing the
exercises of our own slaves though they were comrades. For no companion of
our own age ever came near us or was allowed to do so.)
Ἐντεῦθεν ἐγὼ μὲν μόγις ἀφείθην διὰ τοὺς θεοὺς εὐτυχῶς, ὁ δὲ ἀδελφὸς ὁ ἐμὸς
εἰς τὴν αὐλὴν καθείρχθη δυστυχῶς, εἴπερ τις ἄλλος τῶν πώποτε. καὶ γὰρ εἴ
τι περὶ τὸν τρόπον ἄγριον καὶ τραχὺ τὸν ἐκείνου κατεφάνη, τοῦτο ἐκ τῆς
ὀρείου τροφῆς συνηυξήθη. δίκαιος οὖν οἶμαι καὶ ταύτην ἔχειν τὴν αἰτίαν ὁ
ταύτης ἡμῖν πρὸς βίαν μεταδοὺς τῆς τροφῆς, ἧς ἐμὲ μὲν οἱ θεοὶ διὰ [272]
τῆς φιλοσοφίας καθαρὸν ἀπέφηναν καὶ ἐξάντη, τῷ δὲ οὐδεὶς ἐνέδωκεν. εὐθὺς
γὰρ ἀπὸ τῶν ἀγρῶν ἐς τὰ βασίλεια παρελθόντι ἐπειδὴ πρῶτον αὐτῷ περιέθηκεν
ἁλουργὲς ἱμάτιον, αὐτίκα φθονεῖν ἀρξάμενος οὐ πρότερον ἐπαύσατο πρὶν
καθελεῖν αὐτόν, οὐδὲ τῷ περιελεῖν τὸ πορφυροῦν ἱμάτιον ἀρκεσθείς. καίτοι
τοῦ ζῆν γοῦν ἄξιος, εἰ μὴ βασιλεύειν ἐφαίνετο ἐπιτήδειος. ἀλλ᾽ ἐχρῆν αὐτὸν
καὶ τούτου στέρεσθαι. ξυγχωρῶ, [B] λόγον γε πάντως ὑποσχόντα πρότερον,
ὥσπερ τοὺς κακούργους. οὐ γὰρ δὴ τοὺς μὲν λῃστὰς ὁ νόμος ἀπαγορεύει τῷ
δήσαντι κτείνειν, τοὺς ἁφαιρεθέντας δὲ τιμάς, ἃς εἶχον, καὶ γενομένους ἐξ
ἀρχόντων ἰδιώτας ἀκρίτους φησὶ δεῖν ἀναιρεῖσθαι. τί γάρ, εἰ τῶν
ἁμαρτημάτων εἶχεν ἀποφῆναι [C] τοῦς αἰτίους; ἐδέδοντο γὰρ αὐτῷ τινων
ἐπιστολαί, Ἡράκλεις, ὅσας ἔχουσαι κατ᾽ αὐτοῦ κατηγορίας, ἐφ᾽ αἷς ἐκεῖνος
ἀγανακτῆσας ἀκρατέστερον μὲν καὶ ἥκιστα βασιλικῶς ἐφῆκε τῷ θυμῷ, τοῦ
μέντοι μηδὲ ζῆν ἄξιον οὐδὲν ἐπεπράχει. πῶς γάρ; οὐχ οὗτός ἐστιν ἀνθρώποις
ἅπασι κοινὸς Ἕλλησιν ἅμα καὶ βαρβάροις ὁ νόμος, ἀμύνεσθαι τοὺς ἀδικίας
ὑπάρχοντας; ἀλλ᾽ ἴσως μὲν ἠμύνατο πικρότερον. οὐ μὴν ἔξω πάντη τοῦ
εἰκότος· τὸν γὰρ ἐχθρὸν ὑπ᾽ ὀργῆς εἰκός τι καὶ ποιεῖν, [D] εἴρηται καὶ
πρόσθεν. ἀλλ᾽ εἰς χάριν ἑνὸς ἀνδρογύνου, τοῦ κατακοιμιστοῦ, καὶ προσέτι
τοῦ τῶν μαγείρων ἐπιτρόπου τὸν ἀνεψιόν, τὸν καίσαρα, τὸν τῆς ἀδελφῆς ἄνδρα
γενόμενον, τὸν τῆς ἀδελφιδῆς πατέρα, οὗ καὶ αὐτὸς πρότερον ἦν ἀγαγόμενος
τὴν ἀδελφήν, πρὸς ὃν αὐτῷ τοσαῦτα θεῶν ὁμογνίων ὑπῆρχε δίκαια, κτεῖναι
παρέδωκε τοῖς ἐχθίστοις· ἐμὲ δὲ ἀφῆκε μόγις ἑπτὰ μηνῶν ὅλων ἑλκύσας τῇδε
κἀκεῖσε καὶ ποιησάμενος ἔμφρουρον, [273] ὥστε, εἰ μὴ θεῶν τις ἐθελήσας με
σωθῆναι τὴν καλὴν καὶ ἀγαθὴν τὸ τηνικαῦτά μοι παρέσχεν εὐμενῆ Εὐσεβίαν,
οὐδ᾽ ἂν ἐγὼ τὰς χεῖρας αὐτοῦ τότε διέφυγον. καίτοι μὰ τοὺς θεοὺς οὐδ᾽ ὄναρ
μοι φανεὶς ἀδελφὸς ἐπεπράχει· καὶ γὰρ οὐδὲ συνῆν αὐτῷ οὐδὲ ἐφοίτων οὐδὲ
ἐβάδιζον παρ᾽ αὐτὸν, ὀλιγάκις δὲ ἔγραφον καὶ ὑπὲρ ὀλίγων. [B] ὡς οὖν
ἀποφυγὼν ἐκεῖθεν ἄσμενος ἐπορευόμην ἐπὶ τὴν τῆς μητρὸς ἑστίαν· πατρῷον γὰρ
οὐδὲν ὑπῆρχέ μοι οὐδὲ ἐκεκτήμην ἐκ τοσούτων, ὅσων εἰκὸς ἦν πατέρα
κεκτῆσθαι τὸν ἐμόν, οὐκ ἐλαχίστην βῶλον, οὐκ ἀνδράποδον, οὐκ οἰκίαν· ὁ γάρ
τοι καλὸς Κωνστάντιος ἐκληρονόμησεν ἀντ᾽ ἐμοῦ τὴν πατρῴαν οὐσίαν ἅπασαν,
ἐμοί τε, ὅπερ ἔφην, οὐδὲ γρὺ μετέδωκεν αὐτῆς· ἀλλὰ καὶ τῷ ἀδελφῷ τομῷ τῶν
πατρῴων ἔδωκεν ὀλίγα, πάντων αὐτὸν ἀφελόμενος τῶν μητρῴων.
(From that place barely and by the help of the gods I was set free, and
for a happier fate; but my brother was imprisoned at court and his fate
was ill‐starred above all men who have ever yet lived. And indeed whatever
cruelty or harshness was revealed in his disposition was increased by his
having been brought up among those mountains. It is therefore I think only
just that the Emperor should bear the blame for this also, he who against
our will allotted to us that sort of bringing‐up. As for me, the gods by
means of philosophy caused me to remain untouched by it and unharmed; but
on my brother no one bestowed this boon. For when he had come straight
from the country to the court, the moment that Constantius had invested
him with the purple robe he at once began to be jealous of him, nor did he
cease from that feeling until, not content with stripping him of the
purple, he had destroyed him. Yet surely he deserved to live, even if he
seemed unfit to govern. But someone may say that it was necessary to
deprive him of life also. I admit it, only on condition that he had first
been allowed to speak in his own defence as criminals are. For surely it
is not the case that the law forbids one who has imprisoned bandits to put
them to death, but says that it is right to destroy without a trial those
who have been stripped of the honours that they possessed and have become
mere individuals instead of rulers. For what if my brother had been able
to expose those who were responsible for his errors? For there had been
handed to him the letters of certain persons, and, by Heracles, what
accusations against himself they contained! And in his resentment at these
he gave way in most unkingly fashion to uncontrolled anger, but he had
done nothing to deserve being deprived of life itself. What! Is not this a
universal law among all Greeks and barbarians alike, that one should
defend oneself against those who take the initiative in doing one a wrong?
I admit that he did perhaps defend himself with too great cruelty; but on
the whole not more cruelly than might have been expected. For we have
heard it said before(439) that an enemy may be expected to harm one in a
fit of anger. But it was to gratify a eunuch,(440) his chamberlain who was
also his chief cook, that Constantius gave over to his most inveterate
enemies his own cousin, the Caesar, his sister’s husband, the father of
his niece, the man whose own sister he had himself married in earlier
days,(441) and to whom he owed so many obligations connected with the gods
of the family. As for me he reluctantly let me go, after dragging me
hither and thither for seven whole months and keeping me under guard; so
that had not some one of the gods desired that I should escape, and made
the beautiful and virtuous Eusebia kindly disposed to me, I could not then
have escaped from his hands myself. And yet I call the gods to witness
that my brother had pursued his course of action without my having a sight
of him even in a dream. For I was not with him, nor did I visit him or
travel to his neighbourhood; and I used to write to him very seldom and on
unimportant matters. Thinking therefore that I had escaped from that
place, I set out for the house that had been my mother’s. For of my
father’s estate nothing belonged to me, and I had acquired out of the
great wealth that had naturally belonged to my father not the smallest
clod of earth, not a slave, not a house. For the admirable Constantius had
inherited in my place the whole of my father’s property, and to me, as I
was saying, he granted not the least trifle of it; moreover, though he
gave my brother a few things that had been his father’s, he robbed him of
the whole of his mother’s estate.)
[C] Ὅσα μὲν οὖν ἔπραξε πρός με πρὶν ὀνόματος μὲν μεταδοῦναί μοι τοῦ
σεμνοτάτου, ἔργῳ δὲ εἰς πικροτάτην καὶ χαλεπωτάτην ἐμβαλεῖν δουλείαν, εἰ
καὶ μὴ πάντα, τὰ πλεῖστα γοῦν ὅμως ἀκηκόατε(442) πορευομένου δὴ(443)
λοιπὸν ἐπὶ τὴν ἑστίαν, ἀγαπητῶς τε καὶ μόγις ἀποσωζομένου, συκοφάντης τις
ἀνεφάνη περὶ τὸ Σίρμιον, ὃς τοῖς ἐκεῖ πράγματα ἕρραψεν ὡς νεώτερα
διανοουμένοις· [D] ἴστε δήπουθεν ἀκοῇ τὸν Ἀφρικανὸν καὶ τὸν Μαρῖνον·
οὔκουν ὑμᾶς οὐδὲ ὁ Φῆλιξ ἔλαθεν οὐδὲ ὅσα ἐπράχθη περὶ τοὺς ἀνθρώπους. ἀλλ᾽
ὡς τοῦτο αὐτῷ κατεμηνύθη τὸ πρᾶγμα, καὶ Δυνάμιος ἐξαίφνης, ἄλλος
συκοφάντης, ἐκ Κελτῶν ἤγγειλεν ὅσον οὔπω τὸν Σιλουανὸν αὐτῷ πολέμιον
ἀναφανεῖσθαι, δείσας παντάπασι καὶ φοβηθεὶς αὐτίκα ἐπ᾽ ἐμὲ πέμπει, καὶ
μικρὸν εἰς τὴν Ἑλλάδα κελεύσας ὑποχωρῆσαι [274] πάλιν ἐκεῖθεν ἀκάλει παρ᾽
ἑαυτόν, οὔπω πρότερον τεθεαμένος πλὴν ἅπαξ μὲν ἐν Καππαδοκίᾳ, ἅπαξ δὲ ἐν
Ἰταλίᾳ, ἀγωνισαμένης Εὐσεβίας, ὡς ἂν ὑπὲρ τῆς σωτηρίας τῆς ἐμαυτοῦ
θαρρήσαιμι. καίτοι τὴν αὐτὴν αὐτῷ πόλιν ἓξ ᾤκησα μηνῶν, καὶ μέντοι καὶ
ὑπέσχετό με θεάσεσθαι πάλιν. ἀλλ᾽ ὁ θεοῖς ἐχθρὸς ἀνδρόγυνος, ὁ πιστὸς
αὐτοῦ κατακοιμιστής, ἔλαθέ μου καὶ ἄκων εὐεργέτης γενόμενος· οὐ γὰρ εἴασεν
ἐντυχεῖν με πολλάκις αὐτῷ, [B] τυχὸν μὲν οὐδὲ ἐθέλοντι, πλὴν ἀλλὰ τὸ
κεφάλαιον ἐκεῖνος ἦν· ὤκνει γὰρ ὡς ἂν μή τινος συνηθείας ἐγγενομένης ἡμῖν
πρὸς ἀλλήλους ἔπειτα ἀγαπηθείην καὶ πιστὸς ἀναφανεὶς ἐπιτραπείην τι.
(Now his whole behaviour to me before he granted me that august
title(444)—though in fact what he did was to impose on me the most galling
and irksome slavery—you have heard, if not every detail, still the greater
part. As I was saying, I was on my way to my home and was barely getting
away safely, beyond my hopes, when a certain sycophant(445) turned up near
Sirmium(446) and fabricated the rumour against certain persons there that
they were planning a revolt. You certainly know by hearsay Africanus(447)
and Marinus: nor can you fail to have heard of Felix and what was the fate
of those men. And when Constantius was informed of the matter, and
Dynamius another sycophant suddenly reported from Gaul that Silvanus(448)
was on the point of declaring himself his open enemy, in the utmost alarm
and terror he forthwith sent to me, and first he bade me retire for a
short time to Greece, then summoned me from there to the court(449) again.
He had never seen me before except once in Cappadocia and once in
Italy,—an interview which Eusebia had secured by her exertions so that I
might feel confidence about my personal safety. And yet I lived for six
months in the same city(450) as he did, and he had promised that he would
see me again. But that execrable eunuch,(451) his trusty chamberlain,
unconsciously and involuntarily proved himself my benefactor. For he did
not allow me to meet the Emperor often, nor perhaps did the latter desire
it; still the eunuch was the chief reason. For what he dreaded was that if
we had any intercourse with one another I might be taken into favour, and
when my loyalty became evident I might be given some place of trust.)
Παραγενόμενον δή με τότε πρῶτον ἀπὸ τῆς Ἑλλάδος αὐτίκα διὰ τῶν περὶ τὴν
θεραπείαν εὐνούχων ἡ μακαρῖτις Εὐσεβία καὶ λίαν ἐφιλοφρονεῖτο. μικρὸν δὲ
ὕστερον ἐπελθόντος τούτου· [C] καὶ γάρ τοι καὶ τὰ περὶ Σιλουανὸν
ἐπέπρακτο· λοιπὸν εἴσοδός τε εἰς τὴν αὐλὴν δίδοται, καὶ τὸ λεγόμενον ἡ
Θετταλικὴ περιβάλλεται πειθανάγκη. ἀρνουμένου γάρ μου τὴν συνουσίαν
στερεῶς ἐν τοῖς βασιλείοις, οἱ μὲν ὥσπερ ἐν κουρείῳ συνελθόντες
ἀποκείρουσι τὸν πώγωνα, χλανίδα δὲ ἀμφιεννύουσι καὶ σχηματώζουσιν, ὡς τότε
ὑπελάμβανον, πάνυ γελοῖον στρατιώτην· [D] οὐδὲν γάρ μοι τοῦ καλλωπισμοῦ
τῶν καθαρμάτων ἥρμοζεν· ἐβάδιζον δὲ οὐχ ὥσπερ ἐκεῖνοι περιβλέπων καὶ
σοβῶν(452) ἀλλ᾽ εἰς γῆν βλέπων, ὥσπερ εἰθίσμην ὑπὸ τοῦ θρέψαντός με
παιδαγωγοῦ. τότε μὲν οὖν αὐτοῖς παρέσχον γέλωτα, μικρὸν δὲ ὕστερον
ὑποψίαν, εἶτα ἀνέλαμψεν ὁ τοσοῦτος φθόνος.
(Now from the first moment of my arrival from Greece, Eusebia of blessed
memory kept showing me the utmost kindness through the eunuchs of her
household. And a little later when the Emperor returned—for the affair of
Silvanus had been concluded—at last I was given access to the court, and,
in the words of the proverb, Thessalian persuasion(453) was applied to me.
For when I firmly declined all intercourse with the palace, some of them,
as though they had come together in a barber’s shop, cut off my beard and
dressed me in a military cloak and transformed me into a highly ridiculous
soldier, as they thought at the time. For none of the decorations of those
villains suited me. And I walked not like them, staring about me and
strutting along, but gazing on the ground as I had been trained to do by
the preceptor(454) who brought me up. At the time then, I inspired their
ridicule, but a little later their suspicion, and then their jealousy was
inflamed to the utmost.)
Ἀλλ᾽ ἐνταῦθα χρὴ μὴ παραλείπειν ἐκεῖνα, πῶς ἐγὼ συνεχώρησα, πῶς
ἐδεχόμην(455) ὁμωρόφιος(456) ἐκείνοις γενέσθαι, οὓς ἠπιστάμην παντὶ μέν
μου λυμηναμένους τῷ γένει, [275] ὑπώπτευον δὲ οὐκ εἰς μακρὰν
ἐπιβουλεύσοντας καὶ ἐμοὶ. πηγὰς μὲν οὖν ὁπόσας ἀφῆκα δακρύων καὶ θρήνους
οἵους, ἀνατείνων εἰς τὴν ἀκρόπολιν τὴν παρ᾽ ὑμῖν τὰς χεῖρας, ὅτε
ἐκαλούμην, καὶ τὴν Ἀθηνᾶν ἱκετεύων σώζειν τὸν ἱκέτην καὶ μὴ ἐκδιδόναι,
πολλοὶ τῶν παρ᾽ ὑμῖν ἑορακότες εἰσί μοι μάρτυρες, αὐτὴ δὲ ἡ θεὸς πρὸ τῶν
ἄλλων, ὅτι καὶ θάνατον ᾐτησάμην παρ᾽ [B] αὐτῆς Ἀθήνησι πρὸ τῆς τότε ὁδοῦ.
ὡς μὲν οὖν οὐ προύδωκεν ἡ θεὸς τὸν ἱκέτην οὐδὲ ἐξέδωκεν, ἔργοις
ἔδείξεν·(457) ἡγήσατο γὰρ ἁπανταχοῦ μοι καὶ παρέστησεν ἁπανταχόθεν τοὺς
φύλακας, ἐξ Ἡλίου καὶ Σελήνης ἀγγέλους λαβοῦσα.
(But this I must not omit to tell here, how I submitted and how I
consented to dwell under the same roof with those whom I knew to have
ruined my whole family, and who, I suspected, would before long plot
against myself also. But what floods of tears I shed and what laments I
uttered when I was summoned, stretching out my hands to your Acropolis and
imploring Athene to save her suppliant and not to abandon me, many of you
who were eyewitnesses can attest, and the goddess herself, above all
others, is my witness that I even begged for death at her hands there in
Athens rather than my journey to the Emperor. That the goddess accordingly
did not betray her suppliant or abandon him she proved by the event. For
everywhere she was my guide, and on all sides she set a watch near me,
bringing guardian angels from Helios and Selene.)
Συνέβη δέ τι καὶ τοιοῦτον. ἐλθὼν ἐς τὸ Μεδιόλανον ᾤκουν ἔν τινι προαστείῳ.
ἐνταῦθα ἔπεμπεν Εὐσεβία πολλάκις πρός με φιλοφρονουμένη καὶ γράφειν
κελεύουσα καὶ θαρρεῖν, ὑπὲρ ὅτου ἂν δέωμαι. [C] γράψας ἐγὼ πρὸς αὐτὴν
ἐπιστολὴν, μᾶλλον δὲ ἱκετηρίαν ὅρκους ἔχουσαν τοιούτους· Οὕτω παισὶ
χρήσαιο κληρονόμοις· οὕτω τὰ καὶ τὰ θεός σοι δοίη, πέμπε με οἴκαδε τὴν
ταχίστην, ἐκεῖνο ὑπειδόμην ὡς οὐκ ἀσφαλὲς εἰς τὰ βασίλεια πρὸς
αὐτοκράτορος γυναῖκα γράμματα εἰσπέμπειν. ἱκέτευσα δὴ τοὺς θεοὺς νύκτωρ
δηλῶσαί μοι, εἰ χρὴ πέμπειν παρὰ τὴν βασιλίδα τὸ γραμματεῖον· οἱ δὲ
ἐπηπείλησαν, εἰ πέμψαιμι, θάνατον αἴσχιστον. [D] ὡς δὲ ἀληθῆ ταῦτα γράφω,
καλῶ τοὺς θεοὺς ἅπαντας μάρτυρας. τὰ μὲν δὴ γράμματα διὰ τοῦτο ἐπέσχον
εἰσπέμψαι. ἐξ ἐκείνης δέ μοι τῆς νυκτὸς λογισμὸς εἰσῆλθεν, οὗ καὶ ὑμᾶς
ἴσως ἄξιον ἀκοῦσαι. Νῦν, ἔφην, ἐγὼ τοῖς θεοῖς ἀντιτάττεσθαι διανοοῦμαι,
καὶ ὑπὲρ ἐμαυτοῦ βουλεύεσθαι κρεῖττον νενόμικα τῶν πάντα εἰδότων. καίτοι
φρόνησις ἀνθρωπίνη πρὸς τὸ παρὸν ἀφορῶσα μόνον [276] ἀγαπητῶς ἂν τύχοι καὶ
μόγις τοῦ πρὸς ὀλίγου ἀναμαρτήτου. διόπερ οὐδεὶς οὔθ᾽ ὑπὲρ τῶν εἰς
τριακοστὸν(458) ἔτος βουλεύεται οὔτε ὑπὲρ τῶν ἤδη γεγονότων· τὸ μὲν γὰρ
περιττόν, τὸ δὲ ἀδύνατον· ἀλλ᾽ ὑπὲρ τῶν ἐν χερσὶ καὶ ὧν ἀρχαί τινές εἰσιν
ἤδη καὶ σπέρματα. φρόνησις δὲ ἡ παρὰ τοῖς θεοῖς ἐπὶ τὸ μήκιστον, μᾶλλον δὲ
ἐπὶ πᾶν βλέπουσα μηνύει τε ὀρθῶς καὶ πράττει τὸ λῷον· αἴτοι γάρ εἰσιν
αὐτοὶ καθάπερ τῶν ὄντων, οὕτω δὲ καὶ τῶν ἐσομένων. [B] οὐκοῦν εἰκὸς αὐτοὺς
ὑπὲρ τῶν παρόντων ἐπίστασθαι. τέως μὲν οὖν ἐδόκει μοι κατὰ τοῦτο
συνετωτέρα τῆς ἔμπροσθεν ἡ δευτέρα γνώμη. σκοπῶν δὲ εἰς τὸ δίκαιον εὐθέως
ἔφην· Εἶτα σὺ μὲν ἀγανακτεῖς, εἴ τι τῶν σῶν κτημάτων ἀποστεροίη σε τῆς
ἑαυτοῦ χρήσεως ἢ καὶ ἀποδιδράσκοι καλούμενον, [C] κἂν ἵππος τύχῃ κἂν
πρόβατον κἂν βοίδιον, ἄνθρωπος δὲ εἶναι βουλόμενος οὐδὲ τῶν ἀγελαίων οὐδὲ
τῶν συρφετωδῶν, ἀλλὰ τῶν ἐπιεικῶν καὶ μετρίων ἀποστερεῖς σεαυτοῦ τοὺς
θεοὺς καὶ οὐκ ἐπιτρέπεις ἐφ᾽ ὅ, τι ἂν ἐθέλωσι χρήσασθαι σοι; ὅρα μὴ πρὸς
τῷ λίαν ἀφρόνως καὶ τῶν δικαίων τῶν πρὸς τοὺς θεοὺς ὀλιγώρως πράττῃς. ἡ δὲ
ἀνδρεία ποῦ καὶ τίς; γελοῖον. ἕτοιμος γοῦν εἶ καὶ θωπεῦσαι καὶ κολακεῦσαι
δέει τοῦ θανάτου, [D] ἐξὸν ἅπαντα καταβαλεῖν καὶ τοῖς θεοῖς ἐπιτρέψαι
πράττειν ὡς βούλαονται, διελόμενον πρὸς αὐτοὺς τὴν ἐπιμέλειαν τὴν ἑαυτοῦ,
καθάπερ καὶ ὁ Σωκράτης ἠξίου, καὶ τὰ μὲν ἐπὶ σοὶ πράττειν ὡς ἂν ἐνδέχηται,
τὸ δὲ ὅλον ἐπ᾽ ἐκείνοις ποιεῖσθαι, κεκτῆσθαι δὲ μηδὲν μηδὲ ἁρπάζειν, τὰ
διδόμενα δὲ παρ᾽ αὐτῶν ἀφελῶς(459) δέχεσθαι. ταύτην ἐγὼ [277] νομίσας οὐκ
ἀσφαλῆ μόνον, ἀλλὰ πρέπουσαν ἀνδρὶ μετρίῳ γνώμην, ἐπεὶ καὶ τὰ τῶν θεῶν
ἐσήμαινε ταύτῃ· τὸ γὰρ ἐπιβουλὰς εὐλαβούμενον τὰς μελλούσας εἰς αἰσχρὸν
καὶ προὖπτον ἐμβαλεῖν ἑαυτὸν κίνδυνον δεινῶς ἐφαίνετό μοι θορυβῶδες· εἶξαι
καὶ ὑπήκουσα. καὶ τὸ μὲν ὄνομά μοι ταχέως καὶ τὸ χλανίδιον περιεβλήθη τοῦ
καίσαρος· ἡ δὲ ἐπὶ τούτῳ δουλεία καὶ τὸ καθ᾽ ἑκάστην ἡμέραν ὑπὲρ αὐτῆς τῆς
ψυχῆς ἐπικρεμάμενον δέος Ἡράκλεις ὅσον καὶ οἷον· [B] κλεῖθρα θυρῶν,
θυρωροί, τῶν οἰκετῶν αἱ χεῖρες ἐρευνώμεναι, μή τίς μοι παρὰ τῶν φίλων
γραμματίδιον κομίζῃ, θεραπεία ξένη· μόλις ἠδυνήθην οἰκέτας ἐμαυτοῦ
τέτταρας, παιδάρια μὲν δύο κομιδῇ μικρά, δύο δὲ μείζονας, εἰς τὴν αὐλήν
οἰκειότερόν με θεραπεύσοντας εἰσαγαγεῖν, ὧν εἷς μοι μόνος καὶ τὰ πρὸς
θεοὺς συνειδὼς καὶ ὡς ἐνεδέχετο λάθρᾳ συμπράττων· [C] ἐπεπίστευτο δὲ τῶν
βιβλίων μου τὴν φυλακήν, ὢν μόνος τῶν ἐμοὶ πολλῶν ἑταίρων καὶ φίλων
πιστῶν, εἷς ἰατρός, ὃς καί, ὅτι φίλος ὢν ἐλελήθει, συναπεδήμησεν. οὕτω δὲ
ἐδεδίειν ἐγὼ ταῦτα καὶ ψοφοδεῶς εἲχον πρὸς αὐτά, ὥστε καὶ βουλομένους
εἰσιέναι τῶν φίλων πολλοὺς παρ᾽ ἐμὲ καὶ μάλ᾽ ἄκων ἐκώλυον, ἰδεῖν μὲν
αὐτοὺς ἐπιθυμῶν, ὀκνῶν δὲ ἐκείνοις τε καὶ ἐμαυτῷ γενέσθαι συμφορῶν αἴτιος.
ἀλλὰ ταῦτα μὲν ἔξωθέν ἐστι, [D] τάδε δὲ ἐν αὐτοῖς τοῖς πράγμασι.