correction becomes a duty. And this should first be given in words,
before you proceed to severer methods: yet not in railing, or foul or
bitter language, but in calm and sober reproof. If that fail too, then
use the rod. But whenever this correction is given, let it be with
all the expressions of love and concern, which the nature of the thing
will admit. Let it be timely, before ill habits are contracted, at
least, before they have time to take root. And let it be moderate, not
exceeding the quality of the fault, or the tenderness of the child.
Immoderate, or ill-natured and passionate correction, is so far from
profiting children, that it very frequently frets and sharpens their
spirits, and makes them more stubborn and untractable. If they are
of a softer temper, it frights and dispirits them. This is also
the natural effect, of a sour, harsh, unkind behaviour. Hence those
solemn cautions of the apostle, _Fathers, provoke not your children to
wrath_, (Eph. vi. 4.) Avoid whatever tends thereto. Use no demeanor,
no actions or words, or way of speaking, which has such a tendency.
And again, _Fathers provoke not your children to anger, lest they be
discouraged_, Col. iii. 21. It is a different word from that used in
the former text, Μὴ ἐρεθιζετε Do not purposely fret or teize them:
lest you should dishearten them too much, lest you should destroy
their courage and vigour of mind, and make them of a faint, fearful,
dastardly spirit. The direction doubtless belongs to both the parents,
but is more immediately addrest to _fathers_, as they are generally
of rougher and harsher spirits than the mothers, and not so much
restrained by natural fondness. Lastly, correction must not be given
in anger: if it be, it will lose its effect on the child, who will
think he is corrected, not because he has done a fault, but because
the parent is angry.
7. These directions chiefly relate to young children. But even after
they are grown up, you are still engaged, to watch over their souls,
to observe how they practise the precepts, which have been inculcated
upon them from time to time, and to exhort, encourage, and reprove
them accordingly. You are also to bless them, first by your prayers.
Parents are under a peculiar obligation, by daily and earnest prayer
to commend their children to God’s protection and blessing. You are,
secondly, to bless them by your piety. See that you be such persons
in all holiness of conversation, that from you the blessing of God may
descend upon your posterity.
8. As masters, you are, 1. To be just to your servants, whether
apprentices, journeymen, or houshold servants, in faithfully and
exactly performing the conditions on which they engaged to serve
you: particularly with regard to food, and the other necessaries or
conveniences of life. You are, 2. To admonish and reprove them for
their faults, more especially faults against God. But let this be done
with all tenderness and mildness; _forbearing_ not only bitter and
opprobious language, but even _threatening, knowing that your master
is in heaven, and that there is no respect of persons with him_. You
are, 3. To set a good example to your servants; otherwise reproving
will be but lost labour. It is your duty, 4. To provide them with all
means of necessary instruction, and to allow them sufficient time to
worship God, in private as well as in public. You are, 5. To beware
that you give them only reasonable and moderate commands, that you do
not make their service toilsome to them, by laying on them greater
burdens than they can bear, or greater than you would impose, or they
would bear, if they were not of the houshold of faith. Lastly, You
are to encourage them in well-doing, by using them with that kindness,
which their faithfulness, diligence, and piety deserve: in all your
dealings with them remembring, you are to give an account to _your
master_ of the usage of your meanest servant.
Directions _to_ Children.
1. CHILDREN, says the apostle writing to the _Ephesians_, (chap. vi.
ver. 1.) _Obey your parents in the_ Lord. To which he adds, _Honour
thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise_,
(with a particular promise annexed; for the promise annexed to the
second commandment, does not belong to the keeping that command in
particular, but the whole law:) _that it may be well with thee, and
thou mayst live long upon the earth_. And this promise is by no means
to be confined to the time of the Jewish dispensation. On the contrary,
there are not wanting many instances, even in later times, of persons
eminently dutiful to their parents, who have been rewarded with
eminent health and prosperity. Tho’ still it is acknowledged, that
this promise, as most others, may be understood under the Christian
dispensation, in a spiritual and more exalted sense.
2. But how are children to _honour their fathers and mothers_? First,
by reverencing them. This is an unquestionable duty, manifestly
contained in the very term _honour_. And this inward reverence is to
appear, in the whole outward behaviour. It is to be expressed both in
their speeches and gestures, in their words and actions. Their speech
should always testify _honour_, giving them the most respectful titles
which their condition will bear. Likewise (unless on some peculiar
occasions) your words before them should be few. For talkativeness
before any person, has the appearance of disrespect. You should also
carry yourself with all lowliness and modesty, while in the presence
of your parents: so that your whole carriage may be the natural
expression of the respect lodged in your hearts.
3. This reverence is not to be with-held, on account of either their
supposed or real infirmities. For be the faults of the parents ever
so great, this gives the children no authority to despise them: seeing
whatever their tempers or their behaviour be, they are your parents
still. Neither are you to take any step which might cause others to
despise them. You cannot therefore mention their faults to others,
without bringing guilt upon your own soul. You cannot mention them
behind their back, and be guiltless. It is your part to conceal all
their faults and infirmities, to the uttermost of your power. Be not
like _Ham_, who bewrayed his father’s nakedness, and was cursed of
God to his latest posterity. Rather imitate the piety of _Japhet_ and
_Shem_: cover with all care whatever you disapprove of in a parent.
Hide it from every one else, and, if it were possible, even from
yourself.
4. A second duty which children owe to their parents is love. We are
to bear them a deep, real kindness, an earnest, tender good-will,
heartily desiring all manner of good to them, and abhorring to speak
or do any thing, which might give them uneasiness. This will appear no
more than common gratitude, if we remember, what our parents have done
for us. That they were the instruments not only of bringing us into
the world, but also of sustaining us after: and certainly they that
weigh the cares and fears which attend the bringing up of a child,
will judge the love of the child to be but a moderate return for
them. This love is to be exprest several ways. First, in all kindness
of behaviour, carrying ourselves, not barely with awe and respect,
but with tenderness and affection. It is to be exprest, secondly,
in praying for them. The debt which a child owes to a parent, is
so inconceivably great, that he can never hope, fully to discharge
it himself. He is therefore to seek the assistance of God, and
continually to beg him that has all power in heaven and earth, to
return whatever good his parents have done him, seven-fold into their
own bosom.
5. A third duty which children owe to their parents is obedience. As
this is plainly implied in the fifth commandment, so it is expresly
enjoined by the apostle: _Children, obey your parents in the_ Lord.
(Eph. vi. 1.) And again, _Children, obey your parents in all things;
for this is well-pleasing to the_ Lord. (Col. iii. 20.) We owe them
obedience _in all things_, unless where their commands are contrary to
the commands of God. In every thing of an indifferent nature, whatever
they enjoin, we are to do. The case is the same with regard to the
authority of parents over their children, as with regard to that of
husbands over their wives. The will of your parent is a law to you, as
soon as it is signified to you. You are to comply with it immediately,
not for wrath, not only to avoid this, but also for conscience sake.
Such is the will of God concerning you: so high is the authority which
he hath entrusted them with.
6. And yet we are to obey them only _in the_ Lord: only so far as
consists with his authority over us. Therefore, if any of their
commands are contrary to the commands of God, in that case our duty
to God must be preferred. If therefore any parent should be so wicked
as to require his child to steal, to lie, or to do any thing unlawful,
the child offends not against his duty, tho’ he disobey that command.
Nay, he must disobey; otherwise he offends against an higher duty,
even that which every child of man owes to his Father which is in
heaven. Yet when it is necessary to refuse obedience, it should be
done in so modest and respectful a manner, that it may plainly appear,
not stubbornness but conscience is the ground of that refusal. Let
this appear likewise by your ready and chearful compliance with all
their lawful commands: as well knowing, that wherever the command of
a parent is not contrary to any command of God, there the child is in
conscience bound to obey, whether in a weightier or lighter matter.
7. *Nothing therefore but the unlawfulness of their command, can
excuse the disobeying our parents. If any instance of disobedience
is more inexcusable than others, it is the marrying against, or even
without their consent. Indeed, parents have so peculiar a right to
their children, that to give themselves away without their allowance,
is not only an high act of disobedience, but of flagrant injustice.
And hence we see, that among God’s antient people, if a young woman
had even _made a vow_, she was not suffered to perform it, without
the consent of the parent, (_Numb._ xxx. 5.) Indeed children ought to
have a negative voice, and not be compelled to marry without their own
consent. But if they marry without the consent of their parents, let
them expect no blessing from God.
8. A fourth duty which children owe to their parents, is the assisting
them in their wants, of what kind soever they be, whether sickness or
weakness of body, decay of understanding, or lowness of estate. In all
these the child is bound to assist them, according to his ability. For
the two former, weakness of body and infirmity of mind, none can doubt
of the duty, when they remember how every child did in his infancy
receive the same benefits from his parents. The child had then no
strength to support, no understanding to guide itself. But the care
of the parent supplied both these: and therefore in common gratitude,
when either of these becomes the parent’s case, the child is to
perform the same office again. Likewise, as to the relieving their
poverty, it is but just to sustain thy parents, who formerly sustained
thee. And that this is also implied in _honouring our father and
mother_, our Lord himself teaches. For when he accuses the Pharisees
of _rejecting the commandment of_ God, _that they might cleave to
their own traditions_, he instances in this particular, concerning the
relieving of parents. Hence it is manifest, this is a part of the duty,
which is enjoined in the fifth commandment. And such a duty it is,
that no pretence whatever can release us from the performance of it.
This should be carefully observed. No fault of the parent can acquit a
child of this duty. For as St. _Peter_ tells servants, that they must
_be subject_, out of conscience toward God, not only to _good and
gentle_ masters, _but also to the froward_: so certainly it concerns
children, to perform every instance of filial duty, not only to kind
and virtuous parents, but to the harshest and wickedest. For tho’
gratitude to a kind and tender parent, be a forcible motive to make a
child pay his duty, yet that is not the principal, and much less the
only ground for it. This is laid in the authority of God, who commands
us to honour our parents. And therefore, were we to suppose a parent
to have been so unnatural, as never to have done any thing to oblige
a child, yet notwithstanding this, the commandment of God would remain
in its full force: and what is prescribed therein we are bound to
perform, whether the tie of gratitude be added or no.
Directions _to_ Servants.
1. ST. _Paul_ confirms his directions to _masters_ by that
consideration, that they also _have a master in heaven, and there is
no respect of persons with him_. He regards no man’s outward condition:
the poor and the rich are the same to him, and the servant is as his
master. And the apostle, it seems, had learned of him, to be _without
respect of persons_. For he has the same care for servants as for
their masters, and is as large in his advices to them: nay, much more
so; probably considering, that they had fewer advantages of education,
and fewer opportunities of instruction. He is therefore remarkably
particular in his directions to these, which are given at large in
the epistle to the _Ephesians_, and to the _Colossians_. He gives them
farther directions in the first epistle to _Timothy_, and again in
the epistle to _Titus_. If we add hereto the advices given them by
St. _Peter_, we shall have a full account of the duties of Christian
servants.
2. The great duty required of all servants is _subjection_ or
_obedience_ to their masters. So St. _Peter_ (_1 Pet._ ii. 18.)
_Servants be subject to your masters_; St. _Paul_, _exhort servants to
be subject to their own masters_: and again, both to the _Ephesians_
and _Colossians_, (_Eph._ vi. 5. _Col._ iii. 22.) _Servants, obey your
masters after the flesh_. Allowing that these are your masters only
in a qualified sense, and only during this state of flesh and blood;
allowing you have but one proper, absolute master, to whom you owe
unlimited subjection: yet to these also, as being invested with a part
of his power, you owe a limited obedience and subjection.
3. Indeed this obedience varies according to the various kinds of
service wherein servants are connected with their masters. The sorts
of servants most common among us are, 1. _Labourers_, or workmen, with
whom we agree by the day, to do such work at such a price, and who
accordingly _serve_ us during that time: 2. _Journeymen_, whom we
agree with for a longer space, to assist us in our calling, on such
conditions: 3. _Houshold servants_, who usually contract by the year,
to perform, on the considerations specified, either some particular
branch of houshold work, or (if there be only one servant) all manner
of work whatever from time to time is needful to be done in the family.
4. _Apprentices_, who are engaged for several years, chiefly to serve
their masters in their particular trade or calling. Now, how far are
all or any of these obliged in conscience, to _obey and be subject to
their own masters_?
4. The apostle answers. During the time agreed, _obey your masters
after the flesh in all things_: that is, in all things specified
in that agreement which was made when you entered into service. So
a _labourer_ or _workman_ is, during his short service, to follow
the direction of him that hired him. A _journeyman_ is to do the
same, with regard to that work which he agreed to perform. _Domestic
servants_ (to whom particularly St. _Peter_ speaks; for this is
the proper meaning of οἱ οἰκέται) are obliged to obey their master
or mistress, either in one branch of houshold-business, if they
contracted for this, or otherways with respect to the whole work of
the house: doing every thing at such times and in such a manner, as is
appointed by their superior. And an apprentice is to obey, according
to the terms of his indenture, wherein it is usually agreed, by his
parents or friends, in what kind of service he shall be employed,
according to the discretion of his master.
5. To sum up this. This first¹ part of a servant’s obedience, is, to
forbear doing things of his own head, without or against the consent
of his master: the reason whereof is plain. During the time of his
service, he is not his own; neither ought the things he does, to be
for himself. Both his person and his actions are all his masters; and
the will of his master is his rule. In particular, servants, 1. may
not go whither they will, but only where they are ordered, or at least,
permitted to go. 2. They ought not to do their own business. When
_Jacob_ was _Laban_’s servant, tho’ he had flocks of his own, yet he
fed his master’s flocks, and committed his own to his sons, _Gen._ xxx.
35, 36. 3. They are not to do what business they please themselves,
but what is allotted them by their master. 4. They ought not to marry,
while the time of their service lasts, without the consent of their
master. 5. They may not before their covenanted time expires, go away
from their master.
¹ Several of the following paragraphs are partly extracted from
Mr. Gouge on domestic duties.
6. The second part of a servant’s obedience is, to do whatever his
master commands. To _look to the hand of his master_, (as _David_
speaks) ready to execute any thing he would have done. He is also
to obey, by hearkening to his instructions, not only in matters of
his secular calling, but likewise in the things of God, in whatever
concerns his Christian calling.
7. The manner wherein this obedience is to be performed, is largely
declared by both the apostles. _Obey your masters_, saith St. _Paul_,
_with fear and trembling_. This indeed is not to be taken literally:
it is a proverbial expression, denoting the utmost care, watchfulness,
and diligence. Do it _fearing_ God; from a principle of loving fear,
a fear of offending your master who is in heaven. _Be subject to
your masters with all fear_, saith St. _Peter_, with earnest, tender
reverence. With a constant fear, either of injuring, grieving or
displeasing them, by any part of your behaviour.
8. So proper is this fear of his master in a servant, that the want
of it is a denial of his master’s place and power. This God intimates
in that expostulation (_Mal._ i. 6.) _If I be a master, where is my
fear?_ That is, you plainly shew, you do not account me your master,
because there is no fear of me in your heart. But wherever it is, it
will draw servants on to perform all duty. And the more it abounds,
the more desire and endeavour there will be to do all things well.
9. An especial means to create and preserve this fear is, a due
consideration of the ground of their master’s place and power: which
is, the appointment of God: God has placed them in his stead, and
in part given them his power. They are the deputies and ministers of
God. And therefore in scripture, the title _lord_, is after a peculiar
manner, given them. There can therefore be no excuse for despising
them, tho’ they should be poor, mean, weak, or aged. The poorest
and weakest have the same place and authority, which the richest and
strongest have. All bear the image of God: therefore, to despise them
shews, that you regard not God’s image at all.
10. This fear may be shewn either in speech or behaviour: in the
former, 1. By sparing to speak in the presence of their master,
without some necessary cause: 2. By forbearing to reply, when they
observe their masters unwilling they should speak any more: 3. By
attending to what their masters speak: shewing such a respect to them,
as _Samuel_ did to God, when he said, _speak; for thy servant heareth_.
When they have just occasion to speak, this fear may be shewn, 1. By
giving proper titles to their masters, 2. By not talking more than the
occasion requires, 3. By speaking in a meek and humble manner, 4. By
chusing a fit season, both when he is at leisure to hear, and when his
mind is calm, not troubled with any passion, and lastly, by giving a
present and ready answer, to whatever their master says to them.
11. Servants should shew a due fear of their masters in their
behaviour, 1. By such dutiful and submissive obeisance, as becomes
their sex and place, according to the custom of the country and
place where they are, when they have occasion to come to them, to
go from them, or to receive any charge of them. 2. By _standing_ in
his master’s presence. 3. By uncovering their heads before him, and
4. Sobriety and modesty both in countenance and in the whole carriage.
And from the same principle you should endeavour _to please them well
in all things_, (_Tit._ ii. 9.) Do every thing in the most obliging
manner. If it be possible, please them in every thing: study to give
them satisfaction in whatever you do. Do it in the way which they
like best: labour that your whole service, your whole behaviour may be
acceptable to them. And do all this _with good will_, (_Eph._ vi. 7.)
with cordial benevolence, with love to them, springing from love to
God: with an earnest desire to make their lives as easy and happy and
comfortable as you can.
12. Yet all this time, beware that you do not act _as men-pleasers_,
as having no further design than to please men, to gain their
approbation or esteem, to be well-thought of and well-spoken of; or
to acquire any temporal advantage which may result from their favour
or good-will. Serve _not with eye-service_, (a certain consequence
of serving as men-pleasers) but to do just the same in the absence of
your master, as you do when under his eye. Let his absence or presence
make no difference in your industry and activity. You may examine
yourself by this rule: there is no surer guard against self-deceit.
Do I labour in the very same manner at other times, as when my master
is looking on? If I do not, I am no better than a _man-pleaser_, I am
a vile eye-servant in the sight of God.
13. An infallible way of avoiding this, is to obey them with
_singleness of heart_, that is, without any temporal motive, with a
single eye, with the one view of pleasing God. The apostle insists
upon this over and over, and that in the strongest manner. _Obey your
masters in the singleness of your heart as unto_ Christ, _not with
eye-service, but as the servants of_ Christ, _doing service unto the_
Lord, _not unto men_. And again, _servants obey your masters in all
things, with singleness of heart; and whatsoever ye do, do it as unto
the_ Lord, _not unto men. For_ in whatsoever you do with a single eye,
_ye serve the_ Lord, Christ. Whatsoever is thus done to any earthly
master, he accounts done unto himself. And for all this he will say to
you in that day, _Well done, good and faithful servants: inasmuch as
ye have done it to one of these_, for my sake, _ye have done it unto
me_.
14. Therefore in all things which ye do for your masters, consider
yourselves as _doing the will of_ God. The will of your master is the
will of God to you. His voice is, as it were, the voice of God. His
work is to you the work of God, whom you obey in obeying him. But in
all this, there is one restriction to be observed: masters, as well
as parents, are to be obeyed only _in the_ Lord: only so far as their
commands are not contrary to the commands of God. If ever this should
be the case, you cannot obey them: you must obey God rather than man.
You must humbly and respectfully declare, that in all things else
you are ready to obey: but that this you apprehend to be contrary to
the plain word of God, and therefore you dare not do it. Neither may
you refrain from obeying a plain command of God, because your master
forbids you so to do. You must at some times, (if not so often as you
otherwise would) hear the word of God, join in public prayer, attend
the table of the Lord, and call upon him in private. And if any master
violently hinder you from so doing, you should at all hazards quit his
service as soon as possible. Let no gain, no temporal consideration
whatever, induce you to continue therein. For _what is a man profited,
if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul_?
15. *But _whatsoever ye do_, that is not contrary to the commands of
God, _do it heartily_, ἐκ ψυχῆς _from your soul_, your whole soul,
from the bottom of your heart. This naturally results from the _doing
it, as unto the_ Lord, and is therefore twice mentioned in the same
sentence with it. Whatsoever you do, do it with your might, do it as
quick as you can, and as well as you can. Do it at least as well as
you would do, if it were for yourself. If you are hired by the day,
do as much work in each day as you can. The custom of the trade is
nothing to you, nor the example of those that work with you. Do as
much to-day as you can without hurting yourself, or disabling you from
doing the same to-morrow: and just as much as you would, if it were
your own work, or if you were to be paid by the piece. Do the same
thing, if you are an houshold-servant; putting forth all your strength,
ridding away all the business that you can, and using therein all the
understanding which God has given you, in order to do every thing in
the most excellent manner, whereof you are capable.