_Gent._ "Are the sandwiches fresh, my boy?"
_Country Youth._ "Don't know, I'm sure, sir. I've only been here a
fortnight!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: A DILEMMA
_Station-Master._ "Now then! Look alive with they dougs! Where are
you----"
_Overdriven Porter._ "Hoots! they've a' eaten their tuck'ts, an' dinna
ken fa the're gaen tae!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: RISKS
_Shrewd Clerk (with an eye to his percentage)._ "Take an accident
insurance ticket, sir?"
_Passenger (nervously)._ "Wha' for?!"
_Clerk._ "Well, sir, nothing has gone wrong 'twixt this and London for
the last fourteen months; and, by the haverages, the next smash on the
hup line is hoverdue exactly six weeks and three days!!"
[_Old Gent forks out with alacrity._]
* * * * *