I had been passing through a period of sore conflict. For several days I
had had gloomy and distressing feelings. I had struggled with all my might
against them. I had tried to draw near the Lord and to get special help
from him. It was hard to pray, and it seemed that when I prayed no answer
came. Discouragement pressed in upon me. I had no idea of giving up the
fight, but I knew not what to do next. It seemed that my strength was
exhausted by the conflict. As I lay there meditating; it seemed that all
at once a quiet voice said to me: “Do not try to blow away the clouds with
your feeble breath. If you will be content to wait, the same wind that
brought them will carry them away again.”
As the voice spoke I seemed to see myself in a little ravine where I had
often been, with a great mass of thick clouds overhead moving slowly
along. The lesson that God would get to me illuminated my mind. I saw how
foolish it would be to try to blow away those great clouds. All my blowing
could not move them an inch. I might strain and struggle, and try until my
strength was all gone, but the clouds would not pass away, nor would the
sunshine come a moment sooner for all my efforts.
So those spiritual clouds that were hanging so low above me and wrapping
me in their somber shadows could not be blown away by my feeble breath. I
had nearly worn myself out by my efforts, but had gained nothing at all. I
had worried myself, and it was all to no purpose. As I looked back at the
beginning of that season of heaviness and darkness, I could not see
anything that I had done to bring it; it had just settled down upon me
without any apparent reason, just as the clouds in the heavens come over
the face of the sky without relation to any act of yours or mine.
Brother, sister, have you not had such experiences in your Christian life?
Have not darkness and gloom, heaviness and depression, come over your soul
and you could not tell why? You began to question yourself, thinking that
surely there must be something wrong. You doubted and wondered; you could
not tell why you felt so. Perhaps for several days these feelings
persisted. You resisted them. You prayed, you struggled. You searched
yourself, but to no avail. The darkness still covered you; the heaviness
still pressed you down. Possibly Satan also came with powers of accusation
against your soul. You blew with all your might at the clouds, but still
they lingered, and your heart was sorely troubled. By and by the clouds
passed away, the sunshine came, and your heart sang again. You knew not
what carried the clouds away nor what brought the sunshine; nevertheless
there it was illuminating, warming, and refreshing you again.
There are many times in our lives when the clouds come through no fault of
ours. Nothing that we can do will keep them from coming. No matter how
close we live to God, they will sometimes come. We can not hope that our
sky will always be clear, but I hope you will get the lesson that God gave
me that day, years ago. The same wind that brought that cloud over you
will carry it away again.
Do not waste your strength struggling against your feelings; be patient
and wait. Do not accuse yourself of having done wrong or of being wrong.
Do not take these gloomy feelings as evidence against yourself, any more
than you would take the literal shadows of a cloudy day to prove you were
not right.
If you have done wrong, God will show you just what the wrong has been,
and he will also show you the way out. When the clouds come, then is the
time to trust. If in your heart you mean to serve God, you know it, and he
knows it. No matter how dark it may become, look up into his face and tell
him that you mean to serve him no matter how things look, no matter how
you feel. Our emotions are not governed by our wills—we can not feel as we
please to feel; but we can be true when we will to be true, and we can
wait and trust. We can not control circumstances; we can not help being
affected by surrounding influences. These in a great measure rule our
feelings. We can keep the citadel of our soul and not allow sin to enter.
Remember this one thing, that all your struggling is only blowing at the
clouds. It is easier to struggle than to be quiet and trust, but it
profits nothing. In a few days your gloomy feelings and heaviness and
darkness will pass away without any effort on your part. It may be longer
in passing if you struggle against it. Just trust and wait; don’t try to
take the wind’s task; let it do its own work. Then, when the sunshine
comes again, you will not be worn out, but will be fresh and vigorous for
the tasks that lie before you.