Louise stood looking out of the window with unseeing eyes. There was a
troubled expression upon her face. There were tears in her eyes, and a
lump in her throat. What was the trouble? An hour before she had been
singing as blithely as a song-bird. Her morning devotions had been sweet.
The presence of God had been with her. The day had started out full of
sunshine, but alas! now her sky was clouded.
It had all happened in a moment. Her younger brother had been playing with
his dog and had carelessly run against the stand upon which her
flower-pots were sitting and had upset one of the choice plants, breaking
the pot and ruining the flower. Louise saw the happening. How careless it
was of the boy! Quickly a feeling of impatience arose, and before she
realized what she was doing, she had spoken sharply to her brother and had
said hasty words that she immediately regretted. Her conscience quickly
reproved her. She felt bad over the loss of the flower, but she felt much
worse over her hasty words. A dark, heavy cloud settled down upon her. The
sunshine was all gone; there was no longer any song in her heart, but
heaviness instead.
Standing there by the window, she now meditated over it. Oh, if she had
been more tender! If she had only exercised more self-control! If she had
kept back those hasty words! It was quite true that Tom had been very
careless. Still, she knew that he too loved the flowers. He did not mean
to destroy one. Louise loved Tom, and because of this she felt all the
more deeply what she had done. He was gone now, she knew not where. She
would be glad to apologize to him and beg his pardon if he were there. She
decided that she would tell him as soon as he returned, and that gave her
some satisfaction, but it did not take away the cloud. She thought of how
bright the morning and how light and care-free her heart had been! But now
her day was clouded, and worst of all, she had made the cloud herself, by
her own haste.
That is often the way it is with us. We make so many of our own clouds in
life. Clouds often come over our lives from the actions of others;
sometimes they come through circumstances that can not be helped;
sometimes they come from Satan himself. Such clouds as these do not have
the effect upon us that our home-made clouds do. The things that are
hardest to bear are the things that we feel we have brought upon
ourselves. These get closer to us than anything else. They have a sting to
them that nothing else has. Many times people do things that try us; but
if we also do or say something hastily at that time, it will increase our
trial and make it the more difficult to bear. It will make the clouds that
come all the darker. If we have not been as kind as we ought to have been,
if there has been a sharpness in our words, or if we have manifested our
displeasure at something in a way that showed our feelings too much, it is
sure to bring a cloud over our day.
The more tender our consciences, the more we shall feel these things and
the more the tendency will be to cloud our days. It is true that we shall
feel displeased over things, and it is very natural to manifest our
displeasure in some way. Some people are very impulsive and speak before
they stop to think what they are saying or what the result will be, and
thus they are continually making clouds for themselves. There are times
when we must resolutely take hold of ourselves when the feeling of
displeasure comes, as it is sure to do. The will must grapple with these
emotions quickly and not let them get into action. Our wills were given us
to rule ourselves with. When tempted to be unkind or to be hasty in our
words and actions, we should say within ourselves: “I will not speak hasty
words. I will control myself and keep sweet. I will be patient; I will be
kind. I will do as the Lord would have me to do.” Then we should put these
resolutions quickly into action. Instead of the trial bringing a cloud
over us, the fact that we have conquered ourselves and kept ourselves in
the attitude that we should hold toward God and toward others will make
the sunshine all the brighter.
Conquer yourself; set a watch before your lips. If you are of an impulsive
disposition, you may fail again and again, but do not be discouraged, keep
up the fight. You will win in the end. You will reach at last the place
where self-control acts automatically, where you will think in time. If
you fail and the clouds come, endure them patiently, resolving to do
better the next time. Do not let yourself be crushed under the
circumstance. Do not let yourself be so discouraged that you think that
there is no use in trying, that you never will overcome. Keep up the
fight; you will yet come out conqueror.
Sometimes people feel that God is leading them to do a certain thing; they
feel strongly impressed to do it. They see an opportunity; then, perhaps
through timidity or indecision, they let the opportunity pass by, and when
it is gone they feel bad because they failed to improve it. How they
regret not having done it! If they had another opportunity, they would not
let it slip. But it has gone. In vain do they wish for it again. They have
failed, and that failure brings a dark cloud over them. It is another
home-made cloud. They can not blame anyone else for it—not even Satan. But
they do blame themselves, and sometimes to such an extent that it takes
the joy and sweetness out of the day, and possibly out of several days. If
we have done such things, it does no good to heap reproaches upon
ourselves. That only makes our clouds darker. The way out is to open our
hearts to God and tell him all about it, asking him to help us to be more
courageous, more diligent to take advantage of our opportunities, and more
faithful to follow his leadings. Let us resolve in our hearts that we will
do this, then go cheerfully about it.
Frivolous or foolish conversation or actions sometimes bring clouds over
our sky. The Spirit reproves us and we see our fault. To chide and condemn
ourselves does no good. The only profitable thing for us to do at such
times is to be open-hearted and frank toward the Lord and tell him about
it, to ask his help that we may do better the next time, and to determine
in our hearts that we will do better. I do not mean that we should get
into bondage. God wants us to be free, to live naturally, and not to live
under a strain, but to exercise a proper degree of caution.
I suppose we all have regrets and come more or less short of our ideals at
times. But if we are as careful and as true as we ought to be, we shall
not have so many of these home-made clouds; but if we do have them, let us
bear up patiently. It will do no good to chastise ourselves. The only
thing we can do that will be profitable is to trust in the Lord, and go
ahead until the darkness passes away and the sun shines again. Let us be
true to God and hold fast our confidence and our decision to serve him and
be ready to confess our faults before him. He will treat our faults as
faults, not as sins. He will not cut us off for such things. He will have
mercy upon us and will show his loving-kindness toward us. Let us
therefore trust in him and make as few of these home-made clouds as
possible.