I receive an extraordinary Message at the Door of the Long Room, which,
however, enter, and affront the Squire, who threatens to take the Law
of me—Rebuke Melinda for her Malice—she weeps with Vexation—Lord
Quiverwit is severe upon me—I retort his Sarcasm—am received with the
utmost Tenderness by Narcissa, who desires to hear the Story of my
Life—we vow eternal Constancy to other—I retire—am waked by a
Messenger, who brings a Challenge from Quiverwit, whom I meet, engage,
and vanquish
I thanked him for his advice, which, however, my pride and resentment
would not permit me to follow; for he no sooner left me, in order to do
justice to my character among his friends and acquaintance, than I
sallied out, and went directly to the Long Room. I was met at the door
by a servant, who presented a billet to me without a subscription,
importing that my presence was disagreeable to the company, and
desiring I would take the hint without further disturbance, and bestow
myself elsewhere for the future. This peremptory message filled me with
indignation. I followed the fellow who delivered it, and, seizing him
by the collar in presence of all the company, threatened to put him
instantly to death, if he did not discover the scoundrel who had
charged him with such an impudent commission, that I might punish him
as he deserved. The messenger, affrighted at my menaces and furious
looks, fell upon his knees, and told me, that the gentleman who ordered
him to deliver the letter was no other than Narcissa’s brother, who, at
that time, stood at the other end of the room, talking to Melinda. I
went up to him immediately, and in the hearing of his inamorata,
accosted him in these words; “Lookee, squire, were it not for one
consideration that protects you from my resentment, I would cane you
where you stand, for having had the presumption to send me this
scurrilous intimation;” which I tore to pieces and threw in his face:
at the same time darting an angry regard at his mistress, I told her, I
was sorry she had put it out of my power to compliment her upon her
invention, but at the expense of her good nature and veracity. Her
admirer, whose courage never rose, but in proportion to the wine he had
swallowed, instead of resenting my address in what is called an
honourable way, threatened to prosecute me for an assault, and took
witnesses accordingly: while she, piqued at his pusillanimous
behaviour, and enraged at the sarcasm I had uttered against her,
endeavoured to make her quarrel a public cause, and wept aloud with
spite and vexation.
The tears of a lady could not fail of attracting the notice and concern
of the spectators to whom she complained of my rudeness with great
bitterness, saying, if she were a man, I durst not use her so. The
greatest part of the gentlemen, already prejudiced against me, were
offended at the liberty I had taken, as appeared from their looks;
though none of them signified their disgust any other way except my
Lord Quiverwit, who ventured to say, with a sneer, that I was in the
right to establish my own character, of which he had now no longer any
doubt. Nettled at this severe equivocation, which raised a laugh at my
expense, I replied with some warmth, “I am proud of having in that
particular got the start of your lordship.” He made no answer to my
repartee, but with a contemptuous smile walked off, leaving me in a
very disagreeable situation. In vain did I make up to several people of
my acquaintance, whose conversation, I hoped, would banish my
confusion; everybody shunned me like a person infected, and I should
not have been able to bear my disgrace, had not the idea of the ever
faithful and fond Narcissa come to my relief. I quitted the scene of my
mortification, and, sauntering about the town, happened to wake from my
contemplation, when I found myself just opposite to a toy-shop, which I
entered, and purchased a ring set with a ruby in the form of a heart,
surrounded by diamond sparks, for which I paid ten guineas, intending
it for a present to the charmer of my soul.
I was introduced, at the hour appointed, to this divine creature, who,
notwithstanding what she had heard to my disadvantage, received me with
the utmost confidence and tenderness; and, having been informed of the
general sketches of my life by Miss Williams, expressed a desire, of
knowing the particular circumstances, which I related with great
candour, omitting, however, some things which I concluded altogether
improper for her ear, and which the reader’s reflection will easily
suggest. As my story was little else than a recital of misfortunes, the
tear of sympathy ceased not to trickle from her enchanting eyes during
the whole of the narration, which, when I had finished, she recompensed
me for my trouble with the most endearing protestations of eternal
love. She bewailed her restricted condition, as it was the means of
retarding my happiness; told me that Lord Quiverwit, by her brother’s
permission, had been to drink tea with her that very afternoon, and
actually proposed marriage; and, seeing me extremely affected with this
piece of information, offered to give me a convincing proof of her
affection, by espousing me in private, and leaving the rest to fate. I
was penetrated with this instance of her regard, but, that I might not
be outdone in generosity, resisted the bewitching temptation in
consideration of her honour and interest; at the same time I presented
my ring as a pledge of my inviolable attachment, and, on my knees,
implored Heaven to shower its curses on my head, if ever my heart
should entertain one thought unworthy of the passion I then avowed. She
received my token, gave me in return her picture in miniature,
exquisitely drawn and set in gold; and, in the same posture, called
Heaven to witness and to judge her flame. Our vows being thus
reciprocally breathed, a confidence of hope ensued, and our mutual
fondness becoming as intimate as innocence would allow, I grew
insensible of the progress of time, and it was morning before I could
tear myself from this darling of my soul! My good angel foresaw what
would happen, and permitted me to indulge myself on this occasion, in
consideration of the fatal absence I was doomed to suffer.
I went to bed immediately on my return to my lodging, and, having slept
about two hours, was waked by Strap, who in great confusion told me
there was a footman below with a letter, which he would deliver to
nobody but myself. Alarmed at this piece of news, I desired my friend
to show him into my chamber, and received the following letter, which,
he said, required an immediate answer:
“Sir,—
“When any man injures my honour, let the difference of rank between
us be ever so great, I am contented to wave the privilege of my
quality, and to seek reparation from him on equal terms. The
insolence of your reply to me yesterday, in the Long Room, I might
have overlooked, had not your presumptive emulation in a much more
interesting affair, and which I made this morning, concurred in
persuading me to chastise your audacity with my sword. If you
therefore have spirit enough to support the character you assume,
you will not fail to follow the bearer immediately to a convenient
place, where you shall be met by
“Quiverwit.”
Whether I was enervated by the love and favour of Narcissa, or awed by
the superior station of my antagonist, I know not, but I never had less
inclination to fight than at this time. However, finding there was a
necessity for vindicating the reputation of my mistress, as well as for
asserting my own honour, I forthwith rose, and, dressing in a hurry,
put on my sword, bade Strap attend me, and set out with my conductor,
cursing my bad fortune all the way, for having been observed in my
return from my angel; for so I interpreted his lordship’s discovery.
When I came within sight of my rival, his lacquey told me he had orders
to stop; upon which I commanded Strap to halt also, while I walked
forward; resolving, if possible, to come to an explanation with my
challenger, before we should come to battle. Nor was an opportunity
wanting; for I no sooner approached than he asked, with a stern
countenance, what business I had in Mr. Topehall’s garden so early in
the morning? “I don’t know, my lord,” said I, “how to answer a question
put to me with such magisterial haughtiness. If your lordship will
please to expostulate calmly, you will have no cause to repent of your
condescension; otherwise I am not to be intimated into any confession.”
“There is no room for denial,” answered he; “I saw you come out with my
own eyes.” “Did any other see me?” said I. “I neither know nor care,”
said he; “I want no other evidence than that of my own senses.” Pleased
to hear that the suspicion was confined to him alone, I endeavoured to
appease his jealousy, by owning an intrigue with the waiting maid: but
he had too much discernment to be so easily imposed upon, and told me
there was only one way to convince him of the truth of what I alleged,
which was no other than renouncing all claim to Narcissa upon oath, and
promising, upon honour, never to speak to her for the future.
Exasperated at this proposal, I unsheathed my sword, saying, “Heavens!
what title have you, or any man on earth, to impose such terms on me?”
He did the same, and making towards me with a contracted brow, said I
was a villain, and had dishonoured Narcissa. “He’s a villain,” I
replied, in a transport of fury, “who brands me with that imputation!
She is a thousand times more chaste than the mother that bore you; and
I will assert her honour with my heart’s blood!” So saying, I rushed
upon him with more eagerness than address, and, endeavouring to get
within his point, received a wound in my neck, which redoubled my rage.
He excelled me in temper as well as in skill, by which means he parried
my thrusts with great calmness, until I had almost exhausted my
spirits; and, when he perceived me beginning to flag, attacked me
fiercely in his turn. Finding himself, however, better opposed than he
expected, he resolved to follow his longe, and close with me;
accordingly, his sword entered my waistcoat, on the side of the breast
bone, and, running up between my shirt and skin, appeared over my left
shoulder. I imagined that his weapon had perforated my lungs, and of
consequence that the wound was mortal; therefore, determined not to die
unrevenged, I seized his shell, which was close to my breast, before he
could disentangle his point, and, keeping it fast with my left hand,
shortened my own sword with my right, intending to run him through the
heart; but he received the thrust in the left arm, which penetrated up
to the shoulder blade. Disappointed at this expectation, and afraid
still that death would frustrate my revenge, I grappled with him, and,
being much the stronger, threw him upon the ground, where I wrested his
sword out of his hand, and, so great was my confusion, that instead of
turning the point upon him, struck out three of his foreteeth with the
hilt. In the meantime, our servants, seeing us fall, ran up to separate
and assist us; but before their approach I was upon my feet, and had
discovered that my supposed mortal wound was only a slight scratch. The
knowledge of my own safety disarmed me of a good deal of my resentment,
and I began to inquire with some concern into the situation of my
antagonist, who remained on the ground bleeding plentifully at his
mouth and arm. I helped his footman to raise him, and, having bound up
his wound with my handkerchief, assured it was not dangerous; I
likewise restored his sword, and offered to support him to his house.
He thanked me with an air of sullen dignity: and whispering that I
should hear from him soon, went away, leaning on his servant’s
shoulder.
I was surprised at this promise, which I construed into a threat, and
resolved, if ever he should call me out again, to use whatever
advantage fortune might give me over him in another manner. In the
meantime I had leisure to take notice of Strap, who seemed quite
stupified with horror: I comforted him with an assurance, that I had
received no damage, and explained the nature of this affair as we
walked homeward. By the time I had got into my apartment, I found the
wound in my neck stiff and uneasy, and a good deal of clotted blood ran
down upon my shirt; upon which I pulled off my coat and waistcoat, and
unbuttoned my collar, that I might dress it with more ease. My friend
no sooner perceived my shirt quite dyed with blood, than, imagining I
had got at least twenty thousand wounds, he cried, “O Jesus!” and fell
flat on the floor. I stopped the bleeding with a little dry lint, and,
applying a plaster over it, cleaned myself from the gore, shifted, and
dressed, while he lay senseless at my feet, so that when he recovered,
and saw me perfectly well, he could scarce believe his own eyes. Now
that the danger was passed, I was very well pleased with what had
happened, hoping that it would soon become known, and consequently
dignify my character not a little in this place. I was also proud of
having shown myself, in some shape, worthy of the love of Narcissa,
who, I was persuaded, would not think the worse of me for what I had
done.