FAITH STRENGTHENED BY EXERCISE.
1841.
A WANT SUPPLIED--RESOURCES EXCEEDING THE DEMAND--EVIL OF
SURETYSHIP--POWER OF CHRISTIAN LOVE--GOD'S WORD THE FOOD OF THE
SOUL--PREPARATION FOR THE HOUR OF TRIAL--POVERTY--DEPENDING ONLY
ON THE LIVING GOD.
January 1, 1841. During this week we have daily met for prayer, for the
especial purpose of asking the Lord to give us the means of having the
last year's Report printed. It is three weeks since it might have been
sent to the press. We felt this now to be a matter of especial
importance, as, if the Report were not soon printed, it would be known
that it arose from want of means. By the donations which came in during
these last days for the orphans, and by ten pounds which was given
to-day for the other funds, we have the means of defraying the expense
of about two thirds of the printing, and therefore a part of the
manuscript was sent off, trusting that the Lord would be pleased to send
in more means before two sheets are printed off; but if not, we should
then stop till we have more. _Evening._ There came in still further five
pounds; also, ten shillings and three shillings.
Jan. 11. Monday. During the last week the Lord not only supplied us
richly with all we needed for the orphans, but enabled us to put by
several pounds towards printing the Report. On Saturday evening there
was only three shillings sixpence left. On this account I was looking
out for answers to my prayers for means, and the Lord did not disappoint
me. There came in altogether yesterday nine pounds sixteen shillings
fourpence. We have now enough even for the last part of the Report.
Jan. 12. To-day I have received a letter from a brother, in which he
empowers me to draw upon his bankers, during this year, to the amount of
one thousand pounds, for any brethren who have it in their hearts to
give themselves to missionary service in the East Indies, and whom I
shall consider called for this service, as far as I am able to judge.
[This power lasted only for that year; but no brethren who seemed to be
suitable offered themselves for this service. This is another fresh
proof how much more easily pecuniary means can be obtained than suitable
individuals. Indeed, in all my experience I have found it thus, that if
I could only settle that a certain thing to be done was according to the
will of God, the means were soon obtained to carry it into effect.]
Jan. 13. This evening I was called to the house of a brother and sister
who are in the deepest distress. The brother had become surety for the
debts of his son, not in the least expecting that he ever should be
called upon for the payment of them; but, as his son has not discharged
his debts, the father has been called upon to do so; and except the
money is paid within a few days, he will be imprisoned.
How precious it is, even for this life, to act according to the word of
God! This perfect revelation of his mind gives us directions for
everything, even the most minute affairs of this life. It commands us,
"Be not thou one of them that strike hands, or of them that are sureties
for debts." Prov. xxii. 26. The way in which Satan ensnares persons, to
bring them into the net, and to bring trouble upon them by becoming
sureties, is, that he seeks to represent the matter as if there were no
danger connected with that particular case, and that one might be sure
one should never be called upon to pay the money; but the Lord, the
faithful Friend, tells us in his own word that the only way "to be sure"
in such a matter is "to hate suretyship." Prov. xi. 15. The following
points seem to me of solemn moment for consideration, if I were called
upon to become surety for another: 1. What obliges the person who wishes
me to become surety for him to need a surety? Is it really a good cause
in which I am called upon to become surety? I do not remember ever to
have met with a case in which in a plain, and godly, and in all respects
scriptural matter such a thing occurred. There was generally some sin or
other connected with it. 2. If I become surety, notwithstanding what the
Lord has said to me in his word, am I in such a position that no one
will be injured by my being called upon to fulfil the engagements of the
person for whom I am going to be surety? In most instances this alone
ought to keep one from it. 3. If still I become surety, the amount of
money for which I become responsible must be so in my power that I am
able to produce it whenever it is called for, in order that the name of
the Lord may not be dishonored. 4. But if there be the possibility of
having to fulfil the engagements of the person in whose stead I have to
stand, is it the will of the Lord that I should spend my means in that
way? Is it not rather his will that my means should be spent in another
way? 5. How can I get over the plain word of the Lord, which is to the
contrary, even if the first four points could be satisfactorily settled?
March 4. From February 22 up to this day our necessities in the day
schools were supplied by thirteen small donations, and by a donation of
eight pounds from Q. Q. To-day I received fifteen pounds. When this
arrived there was not one penny in hand for the day schools, whilst two
days after about seven pounds was needed. This money came from a
considerable distance, and from a brother who never had assisted in this
work before, whereby the Lord afresh shows how easily he can raise up
new helpers.
For the encouragement of believers, who are tried by having unconverted
relatives and friends, I will relate the following circumstance, the
truth of which I know.
Baron Von K., who resided in my own country, the kingdom of Prussia, had
been for many years a disciple of the Lord Jesus. Even about the
commencement of this century, when there was almost universal darkness
or even open infidelity spread over the whole continent of Europe, he
knew the Lord Jesus; and when, about the year 1806, there was the
greatest distress in Silesia among many thousands of weavers, this
blessed man of God took the following gracious step for his Lord and
Master. As the weavers had no employment, the whole continent almost
being in an unsettled state on account of Napoleon's career, it seemed
to him the will of the Lord that he should use his very considerable
property to furnish these poor weavers with work, in order to save them
from the greatest state of destitution, though in doing this there was
not only no prospect of gain, but the certain prospect of immense loss.
He therefore found employment for about six thousand weavers. But he was
not content with this. Whilst he gave the bread which perishes, he also
sought to minister to the souls of these weavers. To that end he sought
to set believers as overseers over this immense weaving concern, and not
only saw to it that the weavers were instructed in spiritual things, but
he himself also set the truth before them. Thus it went on for a good
while, till at last, on account of the loss of the chief part of his
property, he was obliged to think about giving it up. But by this time
this precious act of mercy had so commended itself to the government
that it was taken up by them and carried on till the times altered.
Baron von K. was, however, appointed director of the whole concern as
long as it existed.
This dear man of God was not content with this. He travelled through
many countries to visit the prisons, for the sake of improving the
temporal and spiritual condition of the prisoners, and among all the
other things which he sought to do for the Lord was this also in
particular: He assisted poor students whilst at the university of
Berlin, especially those who studied divinity, as it is called, in order
to get access to them, and to win them for the Lord. One day a most
talented young man, whose father lived at Breslau, where there is
likewise a university, heard of the aged baron's kindness to students,
and he therefore wrote to him, requesting him to assist him, as his own
father could not well afford to support him any longer, having other
children to provide for. A short time afterwards young T. received a
most kind reply from the baron, inviting him to come to Berlin; but,
before this letter arrived, the young student had heard that Baron von
K. was a pietist or mystic, as true believers are contemptuously called
in Germany; and as young T. was of a highly philosophical turn of mind,
reasoning about everything, questioning the truth of revelation, yea,
questioning, most sceptically, the existence of God, he much disliked
the prospect of going to the old baron. Still, he thought he could but
try, and if he did not like it, he was not bound to remain in connection
with him. He arrived in Berlin on a day when there was a great review of
the troops, and, being full of this, he began to speak about it to the
steward of the baron. The steward, however, being a believer, turned the
conversation, before the young student was aware of it, to spiritual
things; and yet he could not say that it had been forced. He began
another subject, and a third, but still it always came presently again
to spiritual things.
At last the baron came, who received young T. in the most affectionate
and familiar manner, as if he had been his equal, and as if young T.
bestowed a favor on him, rather than that he was favored by the baron.
The baron offered him a room in his own house, and a place at his own
table, while he should be studying in Berlin, which young T. accepted.
He now sought in every way to treat the young student in the most kind
and affectionate way, and as much as possible to serve him, and to show
him the power of the gospel in his own life, without arguing with him,
yea, without speaking to him directly about his soul. For, discovering
in young T. a most reasoning and sceptical mind, he avoided in every
possible way getting into any argument with him, while the young student
again and again said to himself, "I wish I could get into an argument
with this old fool; I would show him his folly." But the baron avoided
it. When the young student used to come home in the evening, and the
baron heard him come, he would himself go to meet him on entering the
house, would light his candle, would assist and serve him, in any way he
could, even to the fetching the bootjack for him, and helping him to
take off his boots. Thus this lowly aged disciple went on for some time,
whilst the young student still sought an opportunity for arguing with
him, but wondered nevertheless how the baron could thus serve him. One
evening, on the return of young T. to the baron's house, when the baron
was making himself his servant as usual, he could refrain himself no
longer, but burst out thus: "Baron, how can you do all this? You see I
do not care about you, and how are you able to continue to be so kind to
me, and thus to serve me?" The baron replied, "My dear young friend, I
have learned it from the Lord Jesus. I wish you would read through the
Gospel of John. Good night." The student now for the first time in his
life sat down and read the word of God in a disposition of mind to be
willing to learn, whilst up to that time he had never read the Holy
Scriptures but with the view of wishing to find out arguments against
them. It pleased God to bless him. From that time he became himself a
follower of the Lord Jesus, and has been so ever since.
May 7. It has recently pleased the Lord to teach me a truth,
irrespective of human instrumentality, as far as I know, the benefit of
which I have not lost, though now, while preparing the fifth edition for
the press, more than fourteen years have since passed away. The point is
this: I saw more clearly than ever that the first great and primary
business to which I ought to attend every day was, to have my soul happy
in the Lord. The first thing to be concerned about was not how much I
might serve the Lord, how I might glorify the Lord; but how I might get
my soul into a happy state, and how my inner man might be nourished. For
I might seek to set the truth before the unconverted, I might seek to
benefit believers, I might seek to relieve the distressed, I might in
other ways seek to behave myself as it becomes a child of God in this
world; and yet, not being happy in the Lord, and not being nourished and
strengthened in my inner man day by day, all this might not be attended
to in a right spirit. Before this time my practice had been, at least
for ten years previously, as an habitual thing to give myself to prayer,
after having dressed myself in the morning. Now, I saw that the most
important thing I had to do was to give myself to the reading of the
word of God, and to meditation on it, that thus my heart might be
comforted, encouraged, warned, reproved, instructed; and that thus, by
means of the word of God, whilst meditating on it, my heart might be
brought into experimental communion with the Lord.
I began therefore to meditate on the New Testament from the beginning,
early in the morning. The first thing I did, after having asked in a few
words the Lord's blessing upon his precious word, was, to begin to
meditate on the word of God, searching as it were into every verse, to
get blessing out of it; not for the sake of the public ministry of the
word, not for the sake of preaching on what I had meditated upon, but
for the sake of obtaining food for my own soul. The result I have found
to be almost invariably this, that after a very few minutes my soul has
been led to confession, or to thanksgiving, or to intercession, or to
supplication; so that, though I did not, as it were, give myself to
_prayer_, but to _meditation_, yet it turned almost immediately more or
less into prayer. When thus I have been for a while making confession,
or intercession, or supplication, or have given thanks, I go on to the
next words or verse, turning all, as I go on, into prayer for myself or
others, as the word may lead to it, but still continually keeping before
me that food for my own soul is the object of my meditation. The result
of this is, that there is always a good deal of confession,
thanksgiving, supplication, or intercession mingled with my meditation,
and that my inner man almost invariably is even sensibly nourished and
strengthened, and that by breakfast time, with rare exceptions, I am in
a peaceful if not happy state of heart. Thus also the Lord is pleased to
communicate unto me that which, either very soon after or at a later
time, I have found to become food for other believers, though it was not
for the sake of the public ministry of the word that I gave myself to
meditation, but for the profit of my own inner man.
With this mode I have likewise combined the being out in the open air
for an hour, an hour and a half, or two hours, before breakfast, walking
about in the fields, and in the summer sitting for a little on the
stiles, if I find it too much to walk all the time. I find it very
beneficial to my health to walk thus for meditation before breakfast,
and am now so in the habit of using the time for that purpose, that when
I get into the open air I generally take out a New Testament of
good-sized type, which I carry with me for that purpose, besides my
Bible; and I find that I can profitably spend my time in the open air,
which formerly was not the case, for want of habit. I used to consider
the time spent in walking a loss, but now I find it very profitable, not
only to my body, but also to my soul. The walking out before breakfast
is of course not necessarily connected with this matter, and every one
has to judge according to his strength and other circumstances.
The difference, then, between my former practice and my present one is
this: Formerly, when I rose, I began to pray as soon as possible, and
generally spent all my time till breakfast in prayer, or almost all the
time. At all events I almost invariably began with prayer, except when I
felt my soul to be more than usually barren, in which case I read the
word of God for food, or for refreshment, or for a revival and renewal
of my inner man, before I gave myself to prayer. But what was the
result? I often spent a quarter of an hour, or half an hour, or even an
hour, on my knees, before being conscious to myself of having derived
comfort, encouragement, humbling of soul, etc.; and often, after having
suffered much from wandering of mind for the first ten minutes, or a
quarter of an hour, or even half an hour, I only then began _really to
pray_. I scarcely ever suffer now in this way. For my heart being
nourished by the truth, being brought into _experimental_ fellowship
with God, I speak to my Father and to my Friend (vile though I am, and
unworthy of it) about the things that he has brought before me in his
precious word. It often now astonishes me that I did not sooner see this
point. In no book did I ever read about it. No public ministry ever
brought the matter before me. No private intercourse with a brother
stirred me up to this matter. And yet now, since God has taught me this
point, it is as plain to me as anything, that the first thing the child
of God has to do morning by morning is, to _obtain food for his inner
man_. As the outward man is not fit for work for any length of time
except we take food, and as this is one of the first things we do in the
morning, so it should be with the inner man. We should take food for
that, as every one must allow. Now what is the food for the inner man?
Not _prayer_, but _the word of God_; and here again, not the simple
reading of the word of God, so that it only passes through our minds,
just as water runs through a pipe, but considering what we read,
pondering over it, and applying it to our hearts. When we pray, we speak
to God. Now, prayer, in order to be continued for any length of time in
any other than a formal manner, requires, generally speaking, a measure
of strength or godly desire, and the season, therefore, when this
exercise of the soul can be most effectually performed is after the
inner man has been nourished by meditation on the word of God, where we
find our Father speaking to us, to encourage us, to comfort us, to
instruct us, to humble us, to reprove us. We may therefore profitably
meditate, with God's blessing, though we are ever so weak spiritually;
nay, the weaker we are, the more we need meditation for the
strengthening of our inner man. There is thus far less to be feared from
wandering of mind than if we give ourselves to prayer without having had
previously time for meditation. I dwell so particularly on this point
because of the immense spiritual profit and refreshment I am conscious
of having derived from it myself, and I affectionately and solemnly
beseech all my fellow-believers to ponder this matter. By the blessing
of God I ascribe to this mode the help and strength which I have had
from God to pass in peace through deeper trials, in various ways, than I
had ever had before; and after having now above fourteen years tried
this way, I can most fully, in the fear of God, commend it. In addition
to this I generally read, after family prayer, larger portions of the
word of God, when I still pursue my practice of reading regularly onward
in the Holy Scriptures, sometimes in the New Testament and sometimes in
the Old, and for more than twenty-six years I have proved the
blessedness of it. I take, also, either then or at other parts of the
day, time more especially for prayer.
How different, when the soul is refreshed and made happy early in the
morning, from what it is when, without spiritual preparation, the
service, the trials, and the temptations of the day come upon one!
Oct. 1. When I had again not one penny in hand for the necessities of
this day, there was brought to me this morning ten shillings for the
orphans, which had been sent from Kensington. In the paper which
contained the money, was written: "_Your Heavenly Father_ knoweth that
ye have need of _these_ things." "Trust in the Lord." This word of our
Lord is to me of more value than many bank notes. About five minutes
later I received from an Irish sister ten pounds, through her banker in
London. I mention here, as a point particularly to be noticed, that
after the season of comparative abundance had come to an end in
September, the Lord did not _at once_ allow us to be so sharply tried as
we were afterwards. He dealt in the same gentle way with us three years
before, when the trials of faith in this part of the work first
commenced.
Nov. 2. At a time of the greatest poverty one pound was sent by a lady
from Birmingham. About half an hour afterwards I received ten pounds
from a brother who had saved up one hundred and fifty pounds, and put it
into a savings bank, but who now sees that to devote this money to the
promotion of the work of God tends more to the glory of the name of
Jesus than to retain it in the savings bank upon interest for a time of
sickness or old age; for he is assured that should such times come, the
same Lord, who has hitherto cared for him whilst in health and strength
and able to work, will also care for him then. The same brother gave me
three pounds a fortnight since. This ten pounds came in very seasonably;
for, though we had been able to provide for the absolute necessities of
to-day, yet there was want in many respects, especially as a boy is just
going out as an apprentice, who needs tools and an outfit.
Nov. 13. Saturday. This morning I took one shilling out of the box in my
house. This shilling was all there was towards the need of to-day.
Pause, dear reader, for a few moments! Consider that there are more than
a hundred persons to be provided with everything they require; consider
that there is no money in hand; and consider also that this is the case
not once nor twice in the course of the year, but very frequently. Is it
not precious, under such circumstances, to have the living God as a
father to go to, who is ever able and ever willing to help, as it may be
really needed? And to this privilege every one has a title who believes
in the Lord Jesus, being as such a child of God. Galatians iii. 26. For
though all believers in the Lord Jesus are not called upon to establish
orphan houses, schools for poor children, etc., and trust in God for
means; yet all believers, according to the will of God concerning them
in Christ Jesus, may cast, and ought to cast, all their care upon him
who careth for them, and need not be anxiously concerned about anything,
as is plainly to be seen from 1 Peter v. 7, Philippians iv. 6, Matthew
vi. 25-34. Under these circumstances of need, a silver watch, which
_only yesterday afternoon_ had become the property of the orphan fund,
was disposed of, whereby we were helped through the expenses of to-day.
The coals are almost gone in each of the houses. Every article of
provision, etc., is likewise much reduced. Truly, we are exceedingly
poor; nevertheless there are the necessary provisions till Monday
morning, and thus we are brought to the close of another week. This
afternoon all the laborers met for prayer.
Nov. 14. When we met again this afternoon for prayer, we had reason to
praise, for the Lord had sent in means. This morning was given to me
five pounds, and six shillings had come in by sale of articles.
Nov. 15. Last Friday brother Craik and I had a meeting for inquirers and
candidates for fellowship. We saw eight, and had to send away ten whom
we could not see, our strength being quite gone after we had seen the
eight, one after another. This evening we saw seven, and had to send
away three.
Nov. 16. The last four days we have daily met for prayer, there being no
means to pay the teachers in the day schools. Besides this, we need a
stove in one of the school-rooms; also some Bibles and tracts. To-day I
received two pounds from a brother at Exmouth.
Dec. 9. We are now brought to the close of the sixth year of this part
of the work, _having only in hand the money which has been put by for
the rent_; but during the whole of this year we have been supplied with
all that was needed.
During the last three years we had closed the accounts on this day, and
had, a few days after, some public meetings, at which, for the benefit
of the hearers, we stated how the Lord had dealt with us during the
year, and the substance of what had been stated at those meetings was
afterwards printed for the benefit of the church at large. This time,
however, it appeared to us better to delay for a while both the public
meetings and the publishing of the Report. Through grace we had learned
to lean upon the Lord only, being assured that if we never were to speak
or write one single word more about this work, yet should we be supplied
with means, as long as he should enable us to depend on himself alone.
But whilst we neither had had those public meetings for the purpose of
exposing our necessity, nor had had the account of the Lord's dealings
with us published for the sake of working thereby upon the feelings of
the readers, and thus inducing them to give money, but only that we
might by our experience benefit other saints; yet it might have appeared
to some that in making known our circumstances we were actuated by some
such motives. What better proof, therefore, could we give of our
depending upon the living God alone, and not upon public meetings or
printed reports, than that, _in the midst of our deep poverty_, instead
of being glad for the time to have come when we could make known our
circumstances, we still went on quietly for some time longer, without
saying anything. We therefore determined, as we sought and still seek in
this work to act for the profit of the saints generally, to delay both
the public meetings and the Reports for a few months. _Naturally_ we
should have been, of course, as glad as any one to have exposed our
poverty at that time; but _spiritually_ we were enabled to delight even
then in the prospect of the increased benefit that might be derived by
the church at large from our acting as we did.