As you have, in your writings, discovered that you take a particular
interest in the happiness of ladies, I hope you will not deem it a
deviation from delicacy, if one of them offers you her grateful
acknowlegements, and requests you to giv your sentiments upon what will
be here related.
About four years ago, I was visited by a gentleman who professed an
unalterable attachment for me. He being a genteel, sensible and handsome
man, I thought myself justifiable in treating him with complacency.
After I was convinced by his constant attention and frequent
professions, that I was a favorite, he used frequently to upbraid me,
for being so silent and reserved: It shewed, he said, a want of
confidence in him; for I must be sensible he derived the greatest
pleasure imaginable in my conversation, and why would I then deprive him
of the greatest happiness by absenting myself, when he paid a visit,
refusing to chat with my usual freedom. Tho he professed himself to be
an admirer of candor, and a strict adherer to the rules of honor, still
I could not but doubt his sincerity from the extravagance of his
expressions. This he considered as an affront, saying that no man of
_honor_ would express sentiments that were not genuine. I found myself
unwilling to say any thing that should be disagreeable, and disposed to
make him understand by an attention that I supposed him entitled to,
that he was prefered to any other person. He continued his visits in
this manner for about eighteen months, conducting himself with the
greatest delicacy, affection and respect. During this time, he never
expressed a wish to be united, which made me uneasy, as I knew that all
my friends thought us engaged. At last I told him his attention was too
particular; I knew not what construction to put upon it. He replied that
I was too particular in my ideas; it was a convincing proof to him, with
my resenting _trifling liberties_, that I had not an affection for him,
and that he was not the man I wished to be connected with; therefore he
would not trouble me any longer with his company, and wished me a good
night.
This, Sir, you must suppose, distressed me greatly; I viewed myself
injured and trifled with, but knew not how to obtain redress. My
attachment and pride were so great that I would not allow my friends to
call him to an account for his behavior; tho I now despise his conduct,
and would refuse him the hand of which he has proved himself unworthy,
still I feel hurt at the treatment I have received. You, Sir, as a
friend to our sex, and one who wishes to preserve the peace of mind of
unsuspecting girls, will do them an essential service, by your
animadversions on these facts, and guarding our sex from similar
impositions.
These circumstances would not have been related, were I not rendered
discontented and wretched at home, in consequence of refusing the offers
of three other gentlemen; either of whom would doubtless have been
acceptable, had not my affections been preengaged to one who has proved
himself worthless. Their characters and situations in life are equal to
my wishes; but I cannot do them so much injustice and myself so much
injury, as to giv my hand unaccompanied with my heart. In consulting my
own inclinations I have incurred the displeasure of all my family; they
treat me with great inattention, and are continually reflecting on my
want of spirit and resolution. I am confident, Sir, that every generous
mind will pity your unhappy and distressed friend,