* * * * *
[Illustration: ZEAL
_Saxon Tourist._ "Been at the kirk?"
_Celt._ "Aye."
_Saxon T._ "How far is it?"
_Celt._ "Daur say it'll be fourteen mile."
_Saxon T._ "Fourteen miles!!"
_Celt._ "Aye, aw'm awfu' fond o' the preachin'"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: THRIFT
_Peebles Body (to townsman who was supposed to be in London on a
visit)._ "E--eh Mac! ye're sune hame again!"
_Mac._ "E--eh, it's just a ruinous place, that! Mun, a had na' been
the-erre abune twa hoours when--_bang_--went _saxpence!!!_"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: A SATISFACTORY SOLUTION
"I fear, Duncan, that friend of mine does not seem overly safe with his
gun."
"No, sir. But I'm thinkin' it'll be all right if you wass to go wan side
o' him and Mr. John the ither. He canna shoot baith o' ye!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: "VITA FUMUS"
_Tonal._ "Whar'll ye hae been till, Tugal?"
_Tugal._ "At ta McTavishes' funeral----"
_Tonal._ "An' is ta Tavish deed?"
_Tugal._ "Deed is he!!"
_Tonal._ "Losh, mon! Fowk are aye deein' noo that never used to dee
afore!!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: PRECAUTIONS
_Saxon Angler (to his keeper)._ "You seem in a great hurry with your
clip! I haven't seen a sign of a fish yet--not a rise!"
_Duncan._ "'Deed, sir, I wisna a botherin' mysel' aboot the fush; but
seein' you wis new to the business, I had a thocht it widna be lang
afore you were needin' a left oot o' the watter yoursel'!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: HIS POUND OF FLESH
_Financier (tenant of our forest, after a week's unsuccessful
stalking)._ "Now, look here, my man. I bought and paid for ten stags. If
the brutes can't be shot, you'll have to trap them! I've promised the
venison, and I mean to have it!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: SCRUPULOUS
_Shepherd._ "O, Jims, mun! Can ye no gie a whustle on tha ram'lin' brute
o' mine? I daurna mysel'; it's just fast-day in oor parish!!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: "THE LAND OF LORN"
_It has drizzled incessantly, for a fortnight, since the Smiths came
down to their charming villa at Braebogie, in Argyleshire._
_Keeper (who has come up to say the boat is ready on the loch, if
"they're for fushin' the day")._ "Eh! I should na wonder if this weather
tur-rns ta rain!!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: LOCAL