THE GUESTS THAT SHEPPARD LEE INVITED TO HIS WEDDING.
The appointed hour drew nigh, and all things had gone on swimmingly
with one single exception. The persecution I had endured from Messrs.
Sniggles, Snip, & Co. the day before, I was fated once more to endure;
for, going home to my lodgings about dusk to put on my best shirt,
I found my chief creditors assembled in solemn divan, or rather in
warlike ambush; and such a troop of bears and wolves as they were was
perhaps never seen by an unfortunate gentleman before. What had brought
them together, especially at such an unlucky moment, it was impossible
to divine; but it seems they had had in consideration the state of
my affairs and prospects, and had just come to the conclusion, as I
entered, that they were none the better off for the coming of my uncle
Wilkins, who (for it appeared the villain Sniggles had been sounding
him on the subject) had disavowed all responsibility for my debts, and
all disposition to discharge them, in terms not to be mistaken. It had
just been resolved, _nem. con._, as the saying is, that I had cheated
them, that I was cheating them, and that I would cheat them as long as
I could, and that terms, therefore, should be kept with me no longer.
To this moment my flesh creeps when I think of the yell the villains
set up when I stumbled among them, and the audacity with which they
heaped on my devoted head their upbraidings, menaces, and maledictions.
They used highly uncivil language, and some laid their defiling fingers
upon my collar, while all, as with one voice, cried out to carry me
before an alderman, and make a public spectacle of me at once.
I say my flesh yet creeps while I think of their ferocious conduct,
and I shall remember it to my death-bed; for of all the various
woes and grievances to which flesh is heir, and which I have had
uncommon opportunities to test, there are none more truly awful in my
recollections than a high case of dunning.
It was several moments before I could utter a word in defence; and when
I did, having nothing better to say, I assured the rascals I was just
on the eve of running away with my uncle's daughter, and of course
would be soon able to answer all their scurvy demands. I told them the
time was fixed, the carriage and parson prepared, and my fair Pattie
in waiting; but, as I had told them many thousand things before which
were not always exactly true, I found my present assurances received
with so little credit, that I was obliged to give them ocular proof of
my honesty and fair-dealing. I invited them to follow me to my uncle's
door, and there station themselves until they beheld me come forth
conducting my bride to the carriage; after which they might, if they
would, follow me in like manner to the parson: and I engaged, in the
confidence of my heart, if I failed to bring out a wife according to
promise, to follow them, without any further demur, to the alderman, or
to old Nick himself, which was pretty much the same thing.
This proposal, being highly reasonable, was accepted; and I had the
honour of such an escort to my uncle's doors as was never before
enjoyed by a bridegroom. The only one who did not accompany me to my
uncle's door was Mr. Snip the tailor; who, passing a house where lived,
as he said, a young lady of his acquaintance, stepped in to show one
of his customer's new coats that he had on, promising to follow after
us in a moment. As my stars, or the father of sin, would have it, this
young lady was that identical "dear Julia," his cousin-german, of whom
I spoke before, and whom he found rustling in satin, just prepared,
as she informed him, to join her dear Alicia Skinner, who was to be
married to the handsome Mr. Dawkins, at the house of their friend Mrs.
Some-one-or-other.
The tailor was thunderstruck, as tailors doubtless often are; assured
the dear Julia she was mistaken, and acquainted her with the true state
of the case; the result of which was, as may be understood, when she
had carried her news to the expectant Alicia, a certain scene of a
highly interesting nature. As for Mr. Snip himself, he rushed out of
the house to bring me to an explanation; but when he reached the party
I had already taken refuge in my uncle's house.