SHEPPARD LEE HEARS NEWS OF HIS UNCLE, AND MR. SNIGGLES IS BROUGHT TO
HIS SENSES.
In the midst of my troubles, up comes my friend Tickle and pops into
the room. He gave a stare at Sniggles, and next a grin; and then, just
as I was looking to be laughed at, he made a spring and caught me round
the neck, crying, with uncommon exultation and eagerness,--
"I congratulate you, Dawkins, you dog! and, mind, you must lend me five
hundred dollars tomorrow!"
Before I could answer a word to this surprising address, he turned upon
Sniggles, and, looking black as a thunder-cloud, cried,--
"Hah! Sniggles? What is the fellow doing here? dunning you for his
money? The scoundrel! Hah! What!"
I thought he would have kicked the poor man out of the room, and so
thought Sniggles also; for, though he exclaimed, "Touch me if you dare!"
he ran to the door, where he looked vastly alarmed, and was able to
muster only a single expression of resolution. "I asks my money," said
he, "and dang me but I'll have it; for, as Mrs. Sniggles says, I'll not
be diddled for nothing."
"Pay the rascal his dirty money, and then be done with him; leave his
house, and patronise him no more," said Jack. Then turning to me, he
made three skips into the air, clapped his hands, and running up to me
and giving me a second embrace, cried,--
"Angels, horses, and women! hug me, kiss me, and lend me that five
hundred dollars--your uncle has arrived!"
"Uncle! what uncle?" said I.
"Why your uncle Wiggins--your rich old uncle--your dad of an
uncle--your bank and banker--your--But I say, Dawky, you'll lend
me that five hundred, won't you? Saw him at the hotel--just
arrived--asked anxiously for his nephew Dawkins;--bad look about the
eyes--will die in a month; and then--_then_, my fellow! fourteen
thousand a year, if it's fourteen hundred!"
"Fourteen thousand a year!" echoed I; the words were also muttered over
by Sniggles. I caught the fellow's eye; he looked confounded and uneasy.
"If that's so," said he, "then I hope Mr. Dawkins will pay me my money,
and not take no offence, for none wasn't intended."
"Pay you your money!" said Jack Tickle, stepping up to him in a rage;
"no, you rapacious dun, he sha'n't pay you a cent. You shall sue him,
and get judgment, and wait six months for your money."
"No, you rascallion!" said I, "I won't take that revenge of such a low
fellow. I'll pay you your money, and be done with you. But, Jack, I
say, demmee, let's be off; let's run down to my uncle Wiggins."
"Wiggins!" said my landlord; "why, you always said his name was
Wilkins!"
"And so it is," said Tickle; "Wiggins P. Wilkins, the rich and
well-known Wiggins P. Wilkins. But what do you want here? Have you had
your answer? What do you mean by intruding here? You'll get your money;
and so, if you please, do Mr. Dawkins and me the favour to walk down
stairs, or--"
"Well," said my amiable creditor, whose fury was quite overcome by
Tickle's violence, and his report of my uncle's arrival, "I always
said Mr. Dawkins was a gentleman, and would pay me one day or another;
and one day's just as good as another; and so I hopes he'll take no
offence. But as for you, and the likes of you, Mr. Tickle," said the
little man, endeavouring to assume courage, "I don't like to be abused
in my own house; but, howsomever, as you're Mr. Dawkins's friend, I'll
say no more about it."
And with that my gentleman walked down stairs.
"Let us go!" said I. "Let us run--let us fly!"
"Where?" said Tickle.
"Why, to my uncle. Where is he?"
"Where!" cried Tickle, bursting into a roar of laughter. "Are you as
big a fool as Sniggles? You didn't believe me! Ah, lud! is there nobody
witty but myself?"
"And my uncle a'n't come, then?" said I. "What made you say so?"
"To rid you of a dun, my fellow," said Jack. "I saw the rascal had
worked himself into a phrensy, and that you were at your wit's end.
I had pity on your distresses, and so ran in with a huge lie, as
irresistible as a broadsword, to the rescue. Victory and Jo Pæan! I
have routed the enemy, and you are no longer in fear. Keep up the fire,
and you are easy for a week."
"But my uncle really intends to leave me that fourteen thousand a
year?" said I.
"Has he got it?" said Jack, giving me a comical stare.
"Jack," said I, after pausing a little, "I want to ask you a favour."
"Have but twenty-five in the world," said Tickle, pulling out his
pocketbook; "but you shall have ten."
"It isn't that," said I; "I want you to tell me my history."
"Your history!" said Tickle, staring at me in surprise.