‘FOLLOWERS’--HELPS TO YOUNG SERVANTS--GIFTS FROM VISITORS.
‘No followers allowed.’
These words form no unfrequent ending to an advertisement in that
column wherein the wants of mistresses are specially set forth. The
expression is very comprehensive, and no doubt intended to take in
visitors of every class that might be likely to inquire for a servant.
But in most minds the word ‘follower’ has its particular as well as
its general meaning, and one always associates it with a masculine
hanger-on.
In a former chapter of this volume I said a few words about general
visitors, and what should be the conduct both of mistresses and maids
with regard to them. Now we will consider the ‘follower’ who may be
trying to gain the affection of one of our servants, or be actually
engaged to her.
We who are mothers know by experience how deep is the interest excited
throughout the whole family by the engagement of a much-loved child,
especially that of a daughter. Perhaps it is even greater than in the
case of a son, though our boys and girls are equally dear to us. But
there is a difference in the way we look at them when the time comes
for marrying and giving in marriage.
Probably for years before our son takes such a step he has been going
in and out in the world, playing the man’s part, and fighting its
battles side by side with other men. From protecting them as she used
to do, the gentle mother has learned to look up to her stalwart sons
as the ones on whom, next to the father, she might herself lean. And
when one of her boys goes out from the old roof to a home of his own,
it is to take under his firm, but, we trust, tender guardianship, the
daughter of some other loving mother. The son leaves father and mother,
and cleaves to the wife whom he is pledged to protect, to comfort, to
cherish, and to keep while life lasts.
But the daughter’s out-going is different. She leaves the shelter of
her old home, and the loving arms of the parents whose tender foresight
has hitherto anticipated her wants and shielded her from every blast of
trouble or temptation that human guardians have power to turn aside.
The boy went out years ago, rejoicing in his youth and masculine
strength, and proud to put it to the proof. The girl, when she passes
from the roof of her parents to be mistress under that of a husband,
often goes out to act an independent part for the first time in her
life. Feeling doubtful as to her perfect fitness for the solemn duties
before her, she looks back for counsel and guidance to the one who, if
a true mother, has ever been ready with both. And the mother, if she
is also a wise one, will advise without interfering, and influence for
good without intruding on the almost sacred independence of her child’s
new position and the privacy of her home.
Naturally, from the very instant that the daughter is sought, the
mother is on the alert to satisfy herself as to the worthiness of
him who seeks to win her child. The subject is all-important, for it
involves the happiness or misery of her darling’s future life, and, as
a matter of sympathy, will seriously affect her own. Should she believe
the individual unworthy, what efforts will she not make to shield her
child from the evil which would result from a connection with him? If
otherwise, how the mother’s memory goes back to her own young days,
and, in the happiness of her daughter, lives them over again. Her heart
expands to take in another son, her mind is full of plans on behalf of
her darling, and she rejoices over her and with her with exceeding joy.
Why have I written all this about mother and daughter, and of the days
when the girl is sought, wooed, and won? What has this to do with the
little maid in the kitchen, or the neat-handed Phillis who waits so
deftly at table, and who, while constrained to look unconscious, is
very wide awake as to what is going on, and, for reasons of her own,
very full of sympathy? Why? Because surely the mother whose interest
in her own daughter’s welfare is so deep and absorbing, should have
a little care and sympathy and interest to spare for her young
kitchen-maid or pretty waiting damsel, whose circumstances are in some
respects similar to those of her darling girl.
These have had to leave their mothers very early in life. Often when
they are still children, barely in their teens, the young creatures
have begun breadwinning, and learned to shift and act for themselves
when they most needed the mother’s eye to watch over them, and the
wise word which might have kept many a wanderer from straying into
dangerous paths. Surely, when we take these girls to be members of our
households, we should try not only to guard the safety of our homes,
but the safety and purity of these daughters of far-away mothers.
The rule, ‘No followers allowed,’ carried out with rigid particularity,
may preserve our houses from idle or dangerous intruders; but, on
the other hand, it throws our young servants more into the power of
worthless and dissolute young men, who seek their company with no good
intentions towards them. Sometimes, perhaps, such followers may only
want to while away an idle hour in the company of a bright girl with
a pretty face, and the girl may think no harm can result from merely
talking to, or walking out with, one of whom she knows almost nothing,
and whose acquaintance she has made in the street.
But the end of such intercourse is often very sad, too sad to say much
about in these pages. Often the young, ignorant country girl, new to
town service and city ways, is induced to accompany her ‘follower’
to some objectionable place of amusement. She stays out later than
the appointed hour for her return, and gets into disgrace with her
employers, who threaten dismissal should the offence be repeated.
Perhaps the ‘follower’ next waylays the girl as she is going on an
errand, hears the story of her mistress’s displeasure, laughs at it,
and encourages the foolish young thing to ‘give it her back.’ The
girl believes what she is told, that she can get as good a place any
day, for there are more places than servants to fill them. She likes
the flattery which praises her pretty face, and carries out the evil
counsel of the wily tongue.
Again the mistress has to chide her for her lagging steps, having been
kept waiting whilst her young messenger spent her time in gossip. The
lady has cause for complaint, and the girl knows it. But she has been
incited to rudeness and rebellion, and instead of expressing regret,
or promising amendment, she is saucy and defiant at first, then sullen
and disobedient. So begins the trouble which too often ends in loss of
place and character to the girl herself, and of life-long sorrow to the
mother in her country home.
This is one instance where a little motherly oversight and a few wise
words spoken kindly and in season might have saved a young life from
blight and sorrow. I say might, I dare not say would, because there are
girls who are too headstrong to permit the interference of a mistress
in matters with which they consider she has nothing to do.
Perhaps the mistress is too much put out by the girl’s conduct to take
this trouble. She sees her wilful, pert, or sullen, and concludes to
let her take her own way, saying to herself, ‘She will rue it before
long. She will have to pay for her folly and impertinence, and wish too
late that she had valued the home she now enjoys under this roof.’
Dear mistresses, let me plead with you on behalf of these wilful young
creatures who rush headlong into the society and the paths which cannot
tend to good. Do not let their folly influence you to loose even the
weak hold you may have upon them, without an effort to save them from
themselves. ‘Be not overcome of evil,’ but strive ‘to overcome evil
with good.’ You are older, have greater experience, and should also
have more self-control. So conquer the inclination to be angry, though
you may be justly displeased. Think of your own young days, when
you had, and most likely needed, constant oversight, patience, and
forbearance from a tender mother. Think how you were guarded all round
from the risks which your young handmaiden, so early sent out into the
world, has to encounter at every step of her way, and how in turn you
guard your own more favoured children from the chance of temptation.
And thinking of all these things, lay a kind hand upon the girl’s
shoulder. Look into her face with an expression on yours which shall
tell her that it is because her well-being is dear to you that you seek
her confidence, and desire to restrain her steps and influence her in
the choice of her companions.
If you succeed in convincing the girl of your anxiety for her real
good, and save her from the probable consequences of her giddiness and
folly, she will bless you, and most likely repay you by future faithful
service. And if not, you will have done what you could; and while you
may grieve over your ill success, conscience will approve, and the
effort that sprang from a loving motherly heart will not be forgotten
by the Master you have striven to obey and imitate.
As your true friend, dear girls, let me urge you to receive in a
right spirit the advice of your employers, even in things which you,
perhaps, think outside their province. The daughter, though out of a
mother’s sight, would not say that she was for that reason freed from
a mother’s authority. If, therefore, a mistress interests herself in
your well-being when you are outside the home, is desirous that your
companions should be of the right kind, and inquires especially into
the character, conduct, and prospects of any one who may seek you for a
wife, be thankful. Do not think that she does it out of a prying spirit
or to serve any selfish end. Remember, it is just what she has done in
the case of her own child, and rejoice that she cares enough for you to
be anxious, not only for your present comfort, but for your life-long
happiness.
Mistresses should encourage, and servants should practise, perfect
openness with regard to ‘followers’ or engagements. Yet there are
faults on both sides, faults of concealment and of selfishness which
ought not to exist.
For instance, a young girl engaged herself as parlour-maid to a
lady who was accustomed to keep her servants a long time and to be
most considerate in her treatment of them. This girl went with an
excellent character. She had given up her place only because her late
employers were removing to a distance, and she did not wish to leave
the neighbourhood. Her parents’ home was near, and this seemed quite a
sufficient reason why she did not choose to quit it.
The girl’s conduct fully justified the character given, and the lady
congratulated herself on having so easily filled the vacancy caused by
the marriage of a much-valued servant. At the end of two months, she
was amazed at receiving the usual notice from Hannah that she was about
to give up her place.
‘Leave in a month!’ said the lady. ‘You cannot mean it. You are only
just settled, as it were, and I am thoroughly satisfied with the way in
which you do your work. I looked forward to keeping you for years. What
is your reason for wishing to go?’
The girl hesitated, blushed, and at last owned that she was going to be
married at the month’s end.
Thinking that Hannah must have entered into the engagement very
suddenly, the lady asked her if she were well acquainted with the
character of the man to whom she was so soon to be united.
‘Oh dear, yes, ma’am,’ replied Hannah cheerfully. ‘We went to school
together when we were quite little children. We have been engaged five
years. It was because he lived here, and we were going to be married
so soon, that I would not leave this neighbourhood. I wanted to see to
things for our house, and to help George to choose what was wanted. I
couldn’t have done that if I had been at a distance, so I took your
place just for the three months, as I didn’t want to be idle or lose
that much of wages.’
The lady was justly annoyed at the girl’s selfishness, and said, ‘You
ought to have been frank with me, Hannah, and told me exactly how you
were situated. I little thought, as you went about doing your duties so
well, that all the while you were simply making a convenience of me and
my place to suit your own.’
Hannah looked a little ashamed, but, I am afraid, was better satisfied
at having gained her end than sorry for the annoyance caused to an
excellent mistress.
Another instance of selfishness which came under my notice was on the
mistress’s side. Her children’s nurse, who had been most devoted to her
young charges, and stayed several years in her place, gave notice to
leave. She, too, was going to be married.
‘How very tiresome!’ said the mistress, with a look of annoyance and
without one sympathetic word. ‘I never thought you would leave us.
But it is always the way with you servants. You never think of the
inconvenience a change may cause, and specially in the nursery. There
is Harry, poor child! you know he is so used to you that he will not
even let me attend to him. I wonder you have the heart to leave him.’
And the lady left the nursery with an injured look, to pour out her
grievances in the ear of her husband.
The nurse had been allowed no chance of reply, or she could have told
that love for the invalid boy had induced her to put off her marriage
for a year, in order that she might watch him through a critical
period. That her devotion to Harry had supplied the maternal care the
boy needed, but would never have received from the selfish mother,
who would say, ‘I trust you thoroughly, Jephson.’ Then, with scarcely
a glance at her boy’s face, she would leave him to the care of the
faithful nurse, whilst her evenings were spent amid gay scenes and
under other roofs than her own.
No wonder that Jephson felt bitterly the selfishness and want of
sympathy in her butterfly mistress, and left that house and the
children she had tended with a sore heart and a sense of injustice.
‘After the way I was treated, I could not have said another word about
my own affairs for the world,’ she remarked. ‘I just stayed my time,
did my work same as usual, held my tongue, and left when the day came.
And the mistress sent my wages to me, and never came near to say
“good-bye,” or “I wish you well, Jephson.” It was hard to leave Master
Harry, bless him! and I don’t suppose his mamma will let him be brought
to see me. But I could not go to that house again, even for the child’s
sake, though I had lived so many years there.’
No wonder that even love for her nursling was insufficient to conquer
the faithful woman’s sense of his mother’s selfishness. In this case
the servant would have been only too glad to make her mistress fully
acquainted with her position. But, while the lady trusted the servant
with the care of her children, she neither felt nor manifested any
interest in the person who had so long relieved her conscience of a
sense of motherly responsibility towards her invalid boy.
I turn gladly from the last-quoted instances of selfishness in both
mistress and maid, to recall much more agreeable pictures. I have
pleasant memories of good and modest girls, who gladly appealed to
the older and wiser heads of those they served, for the advice these
were willing to give. Memories, too, of employers who, having first
made careful inquiries into the characters of their servants’ suitors,
and satisfied themselves of their respectability, have given them
the privileges of seeing the girls at home, at reasonable times and
intervals.
Surely this is the best way of protecting our young servants from
becoming a prey to the influence of bad or merely idle hangers-on,
whose acquaintance could not possibly be beneficial. For, consider, it
is no more unsuitable for our servants to look forward to marriage, as
a woman’s natural vocation, and a fitting end to service, than for our
daughters to expect that they will be wives and mothers in their turn.
Should we like our own girls to meet their lovers or affianced husbands
in the streets, or in the houses of persons other than parents, and who
have no power to influence them in any way?
If our servants have parents living in the neighbourhood, the
responsibility naturally rests upon them. If not, a mistress can
scarcely rid herself of it, with respect to the young girls in her
service. I acknowledge that there are many drawbacks to the admission
of the servant’s suitor to the master’s roof. One is often found in
the shyness of a kindly, true-hearted young fellow himself, who means
nothing but what is honourable and right to the girl who has won his
affections. He has, perhaps, never crossed the threshold of such a
house as she inhabits, and he fears that he should feel very bashful
and awkward, especially in the presence of her fellow-servants.
As a rule, the girl’s manners are superior to those of her suitor. She
may have come from a home like his own, and be the less educated of
the two, and yet he is sensible of a difference vastly in her favour,
because daily contact with persons of superior learning, position, and
refinement has effected a great improvement in her speech and manners.
So he is often the one to shrink from subjecting his country ways to
the scrutiny of city eyes.
Again, as the kitchen is common ground for all the servants, there
is often a difficulty about the apartment in which a girl may see
her visitor. All such matters are for separate consideration, and
fellow-servants may act with kindly sympathy and true delicacy towards
each other under such circumstances.
I have seen difficulties overcome, opportunities a little out of the
common afforded for the young people to meet respectably. Even an
occasional avoidance of a portion of the grounds by the family has
given Robert an opportunity of enjoying a pleasant stroll with Mary, or
an hour of blissful quiet beneath the friendly shelter of the little
summer-house, whilst the girl was actually within call the whole time.
I have seen mistress and maid go out together when the latter was about
to begin housekeeping, that the former might give her the benefit of
her greater experience in making purchases for the future home. I well
remember one girl who said, ‘My bit of money would not have gone nearly
so far, if it had not been for my mistress’s kind advice. I had never
bought things for a house before, and I should have thought more about
looks than service in my purchases. But she knew all about the quality
and what would suit best, and she was so careful to see that I got my
money’s worth. I don’t know how to thank her.’
Was not this a pleasant experience both for mistress and maid? Was the
lady less honoured for her womanly and motherly conduct by the rest of
her domestics? Or did she receive less willing service, because she
had devoted a portion of time to promote the comfort of the girl after
she had passed from under her roof? Assuredly not. Every act that
shows recognition of one common humanity, and sympathy with its best
and holiest feelings, not only diffuses happiness, but brings it to
ourselves, and wins for us more hearty service.
I never like to turn from a pleasant picture to an ugly one, but I
feel bound to give both sides. The rigid rule, ‘No followers allowed,’
is very often made and enforced, because the confidence of employers
has been abused and kindness encroached upon. Trustworthy domestics
pay penalty for the faults of others; and those who think the rule too
severe, and are too upright to attempt evasion, will not take service
where it is in operation.
I knew one young girl who applied for a situation, and was told by the
mistress that no servants’ visitor, male or female, was ever allowed
under her roof. ‘Then I need not trouble you any further, ma’am,’ said
the girl very respectfully. ‘I have been engaged for three years to
a young man whose character will bear looking into. We cannot marry
for years to come, unless some change should take place, for he has
a widowed mother to help, and two of her boys are not old enough to
earn anything yet. But I am going to wait for him, if it be for ten
years more. In my last place, James was allowed to come and see me at
suitable times. He wanted nothing else, and he never had a crumb in
the house except the lady herself wished him to stay to a meal, and
asked him. My own parents live a long way off, and James’s mother too
far for me to go to her house. He must come to me, and I have too much
respect for him and myself to have a meeting-place, like many girls do.’
‘What do you mean by a meeting-place?’ asked the lady, interested by
the girl’s frank words and honest face.
‘You know, ma’am, that young people may meet in the street, but they
can’t stop there in all weathers, they must be under cover; and if they
have no proper friends, they perhaps go to a public-house, or some
place of amusement. It must be a cheap one, as they cannot afford to
spend much money, and sometimes it is not a very good one, either for
young men or girls. But what else is there? Well, some woman--maybe
your charwoman, or laundress, or greengrocer’s wife--lets the young
people have a place to sit and talk in, and they pay her for it, often
enough with food or odds and ends that belong to their mistress.’
The lady reflected for a moment. She remembered instances of mysterious
disappearances and extravagances which could never be accounted for,
and then began to ask herself whether it might not be worth her while
to relax the rule about visitors. She had taken servants before, who
professed to agree to everything and promised everything; but the
result had been deceit and frequent changes. Here was this girl, who
brought a good character, whose honest face commended her at once, but
who would not promise observance of the rule, ‘No followers allowed.’
Surely she would be better worth having than many plausible but
unreliable applicants for the place, who professed to look shocked at
the very suggestion of male visitors.
‘I think I will see your late mistress,’ she said; ‘and if I find that
you have never abused the liberty she allowed, I may give the same.’
The girl’s face brightened, as she replied,--
‘I shall be very glad, ma’am. You will find I have told you the truth.
I should not be seeking a new place, but my mistress is giving up her
own house to live with two unmarried sons at a distance.’
Inquiry satisfied the lady, and she engaged the girl, who years
afterwards married from the house, and carried with her to her new home
many marks of goodwill from her employers.
In the matter of ‘followers’ I do not for a moment presume to say
that one rule could possibly apply in all cases. I merely give real
instances and experiences, and leave mistresses and maids to act and
judge for themselves. Only to the former I would say again, ‘Remember
your own young days. Think of your own daughters, and, as you would
lead them aright and shield them from evil, strive to advise and
influence your servants. Not by continual preaching. Say the word in
season, and say it in such a manner that the girls may be convinced
that you speak from a real desire to benefit them, not yourselves.’
And, dear girls, be true. Do not make promises for the sake of securing
a place, when you never intend to keep them. But if the rules of a
house are such as you could not conform to, follow the example of
the girl I have told you about. Explain your position candidly and
respectfully, and leave the lady to decide whether it is worth her
while to relax a rule in favour of you or not.
I might suggest one or two safeguards to young girls fresh from the
country. Many of you have been Sunday scholars, and some would like
to continue such, were the opportunity allowed you. Ask for it, and
probably you will find that mistresses will make a little sacrifice, in
order to promote what must tend to their servants’ benefit. If girls
of their own accord ask for continued opportunities of instruction in
God’s Word, and prefer the Sunday-school or adult Bible-class to the
streets when it is their day out, I think most mistresses would gladly
encourage such a preference.
Young Welsh girls, in particular, will often sacrifice something in
order to be near a place of worship where service is conducted in
their native tongue, and they show how they value the Sunday-school
by continuing as scholars years after the usual age of leaving. Since
those whom they meet must have similar tastes, this fact secures for
them the kind of associates that Christian employers would choose for
their servants.
The Girls’ Friendly Society (see No. 168 of _The Girls’ Own Paper_)
offers great advantages to such as are at a distance from home
and friends. It is for the benefit of young persons in business,
mill-hands, and even workhouse girls, as well as domestic servants; and
I would advise all who are eligible to join it. It is for young people
of all religious denominations.
Above all other guides and helpers, however, let me impress upon you,
dear girls, the importance of seeking the aid of the Holy Spirit at
every step of your way. If there is one act which is all-important,
surely it is that which links your fate and your future life with that
of a partner who must be yours for better for worse, for richer for
poorer, in sickness and in health. Do not, then, begin an acquaintance
without considering the end, and asking yourself whether it will tend
to your spiritual good; whether it will merely give you a husband, or
unite you to one who will walk with you on the narrow path that leads
to everlasting life, will strengthen your steps, and help you, day by
day, to love God more and serve Him better. Marriage is either the best
and holiest of earthly ties, or it differs widely from what our loving
Father in heaven meant it to be.
May all who read these chapters be kept from entering on such solemn
obligations without earnest thought and prayer, and, whatever be the
worldly advantages, may they only contract such marriages as they feel
that God will indeed own and bless!
I have been much touched by the conduct of girls, themselves quite
young, towards the still younger sisters left in the old home. The
eldest of a family who gets a situation and does well, frequently sends
for her sisters in turn, and helps them to obtain employment. Sometimes
a first place has not been a success, or the younger girl has not had
sufficient experience to fill it properly, and leaves after a brief
term of service. Then the elder has a painful sense of responsibility,
lest the young one should come to harm. I have known mere girls watch
over such juniors with a tender care exceeding that of some mothers.
Sometimes, they have deprived themselves of really needed articles to
help out the new-comer’s wardrobe; they have paid for decent lodgings
for her, and even undertaken to settle the doctor’s bill in a case of
sickness.
I once remonstrated with a young girl about doing too much, as I feared
that her sister did not appreciate her self-denial. ‘Had you not better
send her home again?’ I said. Tears came into the girl’s eyes as she
said, ‘There are so many of them at home, and I brought her here to
relieve father and mother. I will not send her back to them if I can
help it.’ I admired the self-devoting goodness of this dear girl, and
rejoiced with her when she at length saw her young sister in a good
place and under the wise supervision of an excellent mistress.
In such a case as the above, a lady might render a real service to a
good servant by allowing a young sister to spend a few days in her
house, whilst on the look-out for a fitting situation. A mistress might
also assist her servants to save out of their wages by allowing a
sewing maid to cut out a bodice pattern, and show a girl how to put the
parts of a plain frock together.
I have been urged to add a few words on the subject of visitors’
presents, or I scarcely think I should do so. The word ‘vails’ is
little used now, but it was common enough when I was a girl amongst
people older than myself. I cannot tell why it was applied in such a
manner, but, as ‘to vail’ or ‘veil’ means to hide, I think the name
must have been given to visitors’ presents, because the money was
generally slipped quietly from hand to hand, so that no bystander would
see the coin in its passage. We use a much less pretty word now, and
speak of giving ‘tips’ to porters at railway stations, or any persons
whom we wish to receive recompense for personal service.
I would first say a word on this subject to servants. When you are
engaged, it is an understood thing that visitors under your employers’
roof shall receive during their stay all the attention that would be
expected were they members of the family. They are such for the time,
and as the master and mistress generally show particular anxiety for
the comfort of the guests, the right-minded, unselfish servant will do
the same. She, too, will be extra attentive, if she only realizes that
she is a member of the family herself, and should act as entering into
the feelings of those who fill the highest places in the common home.
And if it should happen that in the end she receives no gift from the
parting guest, surely she will not feel quite unrewarded? She will
have pleased her employers, done as she would be done by when under
a roof not her own, and added much to the comfort of the temporary
sojourner.
I do not for a moment intend to suggest what amounts should be given,
or to which servants, when presents are made. But it often happens
that, when leaving, a visitor only sees one servant, yet feels that
more have contributed to her comfort. Perhaps she does not like to ask
for the others, or they are so engaged that she cannot see them, and
she gives the amount she intended to divide to the one only, without
expressing any wish as to its being shared with the rest.
Under such circumstances, whilst no one could deny a servant’s right to
keep what was given, I do think that a conscientious, unselfish girl
would share it with such other members of the household as she knew had
shared the extra work caused by the presence of visitors.
It is quite a different matter where unusual services have been
rendered by one above the rest, or in cases of illness, where the
attendance has quite exceeded that to be expected under ordinary
circumstances.
I can say, with true pleasure, that I have often seen these
extra services rendered with such single-hearted kindness, such
self-forgetfulness and devotion, that no one could imagine the thought
of fee or reward to be associated with them.
And I have also seen a miserable spirit of jealousy amongst
fellow-servants at any little preference shown, even when the recipient
had well merited it by her thoughtful attentions. I have seen kitchen
servants come forward when a visitor was leaving, and ostentatiously
profess to help with the luggage, when any one could see that such aid
was not necessary. I have noticed others push to the front, and give
some little, quite needless, touch to a visitor’s wrap, in order to
attract attention and gain a coveted ‘tip.’
These are little meannesses, dear girls, against which I would warn
any who may be guilty of them, and say: ‘Act fairly and unselfishly to
each other when you receive gifts. Render service as if you found a
pleasure in making all around you comfortable, and not as if your eye
were directed towards the possible “tip” whilst the hand ministered to
the visitors’ wants.’
I have delightful memories of very different conduct: of smiling faces,
feet quick to run, and willing hands; hands, too, that, instead of
being eagerly outstretched to receive, have shrunk from receiving, and
kindly tongues which have said, as if they meant it, ‘Indeed, ma’am, I
don’t desire anything. It has been a real pleasure to do anything for
you, and I hope I shall soon have it again.’
Sometimes, however, servants can hardly have such a feeling towards
guests, because they do not act so as to deserve it. If servants can
display little meannesses, so do those who ought to set them a better
example. They will not only receive, but exact, many extra attentions;
and when the time comes to say ‘good-bye’ to their entertainers, they
will not notice those who have ministered to their comfort, or even
give what costs nothing--a word of thanks.
Now I hold that a true lady will show her good breeding all round, and
that a true Christian will show consideration for the feelings of all
with whom she has to do. When she is leaving a place, she will say a
farewell word to the servants; and in bestowing her present, whether
little or much, she will add to it the thanks for kind attentions
which by a right-minded girl will be valued more than the money. Even
if the parting guest’s circumstances are such that she is unable to
bestow money, do not let her on that account omit the thanks which show
that she appreciates and is grateful for attentions received. By such
neglect she would give pain, and probably be set down as ‘no lady;’
not because of her want of money, but of the kindly courtesy which is
equally becoming to those of high and low degree.
Servants should also remember that a small parting gift is often no
gauge of the giver’s generosity or good-will. It probably costs the
person of small means far more self-denial than does the lavish gift of
some richer guest, who can bestow it without any personal inconvenience
or being conscious of a difference.
To sum up the matter, let me repeat, ‘Care for your employers’ visitors
in the best way possible to you, and so give them increased comfort
and yourselves the pleasure of contributing to the brightness of
their sojourn.’ If you receive no other reward, you will have the
satisfaction which generous, loving hearts always experience in having
given good measure, whether it be of merchandise or of work. For,
remember, ‘With what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you
again.’